Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

I'm going through a mmc right (first pregnancy) now and could do with a bit of moral support.

Had a scan at the EPU on thurs because of a small amount of bleeding - should be 10 weeks but all they found was an empty sac measuring 5 weeks Doctor was very kind and explained all the options..I'm now bleeding so guessing nature is taking its cause. Haven't really stopped crying since we came back from the hospital and feeling utterly traumatised by the whole thing to be honest. I just want it to all be over! lost my dad very suddenly late last year, weeks after getting married so have really been through the mill these past few months - life is so unfair sometimes
Hoping to get some support on here from people in the same boat - so sorry for anyone else going through this, it sucks x

So sorry you're having such a rough time northern. It's so horrible, have they offered you any kind of follow up? Just take it easy over the weekend. You should find plenty of support on here, and hopefully you can take some comfort from those of us who are now out the other side

Thanks for your reply MyNameIsSuz, appreciate it. They have booked me in for a scam to confirm next Thursday from where I can decide what to do. But I know it's a foregone conclusion as having some fairly heavy bleeding now. I wa thinking of going down the surgical route as it seems the quickest and least painful - and I just want this to all be over! Wondering now though if it's going to happen naturally and if so how long it will take? This is so utterly horrible.

I guess only time can tell, though I bled from my first scan to my next one and didn't miscarry naturally. I had the surgery and it gave me some closure. I totally get just wanting it to be over, I felt that way too, and the waiting is so hard.

Northern so sorry you're here. It's shit but you do get through it and start to feel strong and positive again (I'm 3 weeks on from the surgical option ).
It may be that it doesn't happen naturally. I bled for a whole day, ending up in A&E with contractions every 3 minutes like my body was having a mini labour but after hours of that it stopped and my cervix was still closed. I chose the ERPC and it was the right thing for me. I couldn't have coped with any more pain/bleeding and it obviously wasn't going to come on it's own.

You'll get lots of support on here for making decisions and helping you thro whichever way you decide.

northen massive hand holding. So tough to have to wait. It seems that each mc is different. I went down the 'natural' route but that's only because I had massive uncontrollable bleeding for a stretch of around 3 hours which I guess sorted much of it out. I've then bleed heavily for 5 days and now back down to light bleeding.

Sorry bronze and northern that your going through this as well. It is utterly, unbelievably shit! But the support on here will definately be a comfort to you through these dark days.

Adventure when did you start to feel positive about things again?? I'm off work for another 2 wks and really hoping to have made a lot more progress by then! If am having good parts to my days but I think I'm trying to be strong and get on with things during the day, then I crumble at night and feel broken. A small cry before bed seems to get it out but I dread night time as I know I'll feel so sad and low.

Today we are going on our day trip and I am determined to have a good day with DH. He's been an absolute rock! I'd so love to end today with a nice positive evening rather than sadness, maybe today is the day that I can do that. If not, I'll just keep trying. Taking each day at a time.

Thanks adventuregame - glad to hear your starting to feel strong and positive again. I know I'll get there too (I know from losing dad how this cycle goes) but it's hard just now to see that light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for sharing your experience - it really does help hearing from others.

bronzemoth and mama31 I'm sorry for your losses. Sending hugs and hope you hang on in there and come out the other side. One day at a time is certainly the way forward.

I may go back to the EPU on Monday and see if I can get the ERPC so I can hopefully start to move on. The support on here is incredible, thank you everyone! It's comforting to know that we're all not alone going through this utterly shite times

I haven't really been following this thread but just scanned it quickly to see how the ladies from the first one are doing. West and Sacha, so sorry to hear you're both going through it all again. Ginger, I'm glad your pregnancy is progressing well. Although DH and I decided we weren't going to try again we've slipped into not trying but not, not trying if you know what I mean? I have a weird mix of disappointment and relief when ever my period arrives.

Northern, i am sorry your here with us. Honestly the waiting round to get the ERPC is the worst, especially of your bleeding, it feels horrible and you just want the physical side over so that you can deal with the emotional side.

northern we will get there. Its been nearly a week now an I'm definitely stronger still have horrible moments each day but then I am getting some periods where I feel calm and able to face the future. Its just all the little things that are tough. I'm not really enjoying things that I can do now that I couldn't when pg. Stupid things like I had a glass or wine last night which should have been enjoyable but I really just wanted a baby instead so it rather lots its enjoyment. We've already said we will try again straight - which I'm finding really helps. But understand this isn't the choice for everyone. However, I think my knowledge of the where adventuregames name came from shows my age a little.

On a lighter note a little message for adventuregame and jessie Gronda Gronda, Dog yrev. I loved that show.

northern* for you. I mc naturally, and it was over with within a week. I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

Sorry to the newcomers. Hope you are finding the support here useful.
Nice to hear from you Chubby. Hopefully a miracle will turn up for you while you're not even looking for it.

Ah Bronze Gronda Gronda !!! Haha oh you remember more than me !! It was brilliant wasn't it - the original crystal maze !!!!

Well i think i've lost my relationship as well as the baby now. Dp has gone from being amazing to us having a horrific argument and i don't see either of us backing down. Some very hurtful things have been said on both parts, i don't want him even around me anymore.

Oh Halestone I'm sure it's just heat of the moment !! It's the emotions all coming out. My DP was amazing but I can feel an argument brewing now - we're picking at each other.

See how you feel in the morning xx

He blames me for it and says i was narky yesterday which i admit i was but today he was and it blew up from there. Like you said Adventure we were picking at each other and boom. I genuinely have never been so angry.

halestone hope things don't seem so bleak this morning. Hope you sort everything OK.

Halestone, what do you mean he blames you for it - for the argument or for the miscarriage? It can't be the latter surely? Is there any chance of getting a couple of days space?

It's such a shit time, DH and I have been weird with each other too and it's been really upsetting at times, it's felt like he didn't care, one day last week I cried with exhaustion and rage and he just went to the pub as he planned. It was the first time I'd cried about it and he just buggered off. This week something has shifted and he's being nice to me again, I'm possibly less hormonal.

Hope things are looking better this morning

Oh halestone how are things today.

been reading the thread still but posting a little less. anyway have seen some of your updates today about dp's and arguments and stuff.

im sorry people are going through that on top of everything else.

i just want to say that when i went through my mmc i felt my dp wasnt there for me at all, he didnt seem upset he left me alone a lot when i felt like i needed him most and we argued, a lot! i was sick of people saying this should bring you closer together not drive you apart.

but the thing is, this is (hopefully, in the best possible way) one of the worst things as a woman you will likely go through and sometimes when things get hard things to start to fall apart. i think its all part of the process.

for me i was so caught up in the trauma of it all and i think dp just couldnt bare to see it and so his way to fix it was get past it, move on, which was just like a red flag to a bull and things followed that circle for a while.

you will get passed it tho and when you do you both will feel stronger as a couple from it for riding out the storm. ideally me and dp would have pulled together and shared the grief but thats not always how it works. you will get there though.

be kind to yourselves and remember you are still grieving

DP has said sorry for the argument and i have apologised as well Sorry for my post last night i was so upset. My previous MMC was with my ex and it was one of the contributing factors. I just assumed history was repeating itself. Bronze he was blaming me for the argument not the miscarriage. I think it stems from him feeling guilty about not being at the scan with me when i found out, but that wasn't his fault at all.

That's good halestone, I'm glad to hear things are better today.

Halestone so sorry you're having a rough few days. I hope you and DH sort things out and your feeling better today.

Northern I mc naturally and it was over in a week too with little pain. Hope you're ok.

Sorry to see so many new people on here. Feel free to offload anytime.

We've had a rough week and just kind of hunkered down hence not being on here.
I'm feeling much more positive about things and have lost the desperate need to be pg again and realised that it would be more sensible to wait for at least 1 AF - I still want to try again soon but dont need it right now iyswim.
However dh, who has been amazingly strong in the first week, has broken down and has been pretty depressed. I thought the mc had made us stronger but felt poles apart this week. Similar to others, just little sniping bits but it turns out dh has not been dealing with it as he just put his head down and worked through it, now however it's all hit him hard just as I was getting over the worst. (halestone is there any chance your DH is feeling similar?)
A stupid pa bloody FB message from his mum just tipped him over the edge. It wasn't aimed just at him or to do with the mc but it just made him realise that his family have been no support and haven't even asked how he is doing (and they all know). Anyway we have had lots of down time and hopefully he's over the worst of it. I realise though I've been so focused on me that I haven't given him the support he needed - he lost a baby too.

Sorry the the epic novel, I'm not expecting you to read it, it's just helped to get it out.

Thinking of you all whatever stage of the journey your at

Hello, how is everyone doing. northern are you going to go to Epu today?

After a strong day Saturday I found yesterday really tough as it was a week since we were told everything was okay then suddenly it wasn't. I did a Poas to check I was done and it came out positive. I then started to think what if it was all a mistake. Which is ludicrous given what happened physically, then baby dream after baby dream last night.