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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

984 replies

mrsb0710 · 09/03/2015 21:55

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

OP posts:
workadurka · 22/04/2015 10:49

Thanks Adventure no haven't done a test. Think I might have one at home so will give it a go.

halestone · 22/04/2015 13:05

Mama, good luck today, enjoy the sleep afterwards its the best part of a bad situation in my experienceThanks

Workadurka sorry for your lossThanks when was your ERPC, mine was 2 weeks ago tomorrow and thats when i'll be POAS and hoping for a BFN.

JessieMcJessie · 22/04/2015 14:36

Hi. I posted this in a separate thread and adventuregame kindly suggested I repost here. I had read this whole thread (and its predecessor) and considered joining you but felt my position was not the same as those of you having lost pregnancies at 7 weeks plus, hope you don't mind me joining here for some support nonetheless.

I got my BFP (first ever!) last Friday, tested either on day AF was due or 2 days afterwards (cycles tend to vary by 2 days or so).

Date of LMP would put me at 5 weeks today, did a CB digital this morning and it came up positive but only 1-2 weeks (should have shown 2-3).

Went to doc who did a blood test and it showed hcg level of only 44, when she said it should have been about 400. She wants to retest on Friday to see if it has doubled but I am pretty sure it will be lower or non- existent. There's no chance I have got the dates wrong.

Feeling very sad, keep reading about chemical pregnancies only being noticed because women test early with super sensitive tests, but I deliberately waited till AF was due. I suppose this is still a chemical though and not a miscarriage as the embryo probably stopped growing before today (5 weeks). Not sure why I care what it is defined as, just trying to rationalise the highs and lows of the last few days. I am 41 and don't have a lot of time left to try again sad.

Am also a bit scared of how the bleeding will be and whether I will se anything.

Adventuregame · 22/04/2015 14:54

Jessie - Welcome and sorry you find yourself here. We'll all help you through however many weeks you were. It's still a loss and you will be sad.

Mamama31 · 22/04/2015 14:58

Hi, im getting out of hospital shortly. Feeling crampy and was very emotional before and after the procedure but starting to feel a bit better. Thank you for all your kind wishes and thoughts today x

Adventuregame · 22/04/2015 15:02

Mamama that's good that you're off home shortly. Glad it's gone ok for you.

Mamama31 · 22/04/2015 16:38

Home and sitting out in the garden in the sunshine. Feeling a lot better, bleeding a good bit but pain relief has eased the cramps.

Hardest part was the scan prior to the procedure where she asked if we wanted to keep a picture. I broke down and said I didn't know- she was lovely and said it's on your notes, ask for it before you leave if you do want it. We decided not to as it would be a keepsake that we would get upset over, so we decided that a new little tree for our garden would be a more positive memory.

Going in to the procedure was also scary for me as I've never had an operation or been in hospital other than to have my son. But the staff were so supportive and when I had some tears in theatre a lovely lady held my hand rubbing it until I went off to sleep with the anaesthetic.

When I woke I had some tears again and when I got back on to the ward. DH gave me lots of cuddles and was a great emotional support.

Prior to leaving the lovely nurse told me that I did not need to wait to ttc again but it might be useful to wait until my period arrives to get things back to normal but she said if it happened before that, it is nothing to worry about. She also said you are more fertile after a mc and may find that it happens again quite quickly so to use protection if I was not ready for that.

I'm feeling relieved it's finally all over, it has been a very long week. DH and I are planning a nice day trip on sat to take our minds off it all and try to get back to some form of normality.

I know I will have ups and downs, but I feel closure right now and also that I am blessed with everything I do have in my life. There's just one thing missing and we will get there, sometime soon I hope x

gingerbreadmam · 22/04/2015 16:51

thats was a good updated to read mama in glad you are home and comfortable now.

will still take time but at least now physically u r also in a position where you can start to look to the future.

thanks everyone for well wishes to me sorry avent had chance to post properly last couple of days Thanks hope u r all well or as well as can be.

AtAt · 22/04/2015 20:26

mama hope you continue to feel better. I'm sure you'll get stronger each day.
Jessie sorry to read your news. Thanks for you.

My period arrived today. It's a bit of a relief, as DH and I haven't been very careful, so I feel I can properly relax about TTC now. Am a bit worried as this will be my first proper period in years, so not sure if it will be especially heavy?

halestone · 22/04/2015 20:42

Mama, glad you feel some closure now. Thanks

Atat after my 1st MMC the 1st period was heavy and uncomfortable. Good luck this month i hope you get a BFP.

Jessie, sorry you have joined us, i don't think it matters what stage you were at. From the moment you get a BFP, your whole future changes and you makes loads of plans for the life of you and your baby, so it is absolutely devastating to lose all that hope. Thanks I hope you are ok but its absolutely ok not to feel ok, just let yourself grieveThanks

AtAt · 22/04/2015 22:23

Thanks halestone fingers crossed
Also just wanted to say, I'm fairly useless with words, so don't always get things across in the way I want. However, I really hope that everyone is OK, and coping well with what they are going through. I also want to thank you all, for the support, and knowing I wasn't alone.

Allmychildrenhavepaws · 22/04/2015 22:56

Thanks penguin Smile x

fromwesttoeast · 23/04/2015 06:48

Glad it went ok Mama.
Sorry you've suffered too Jesse. If it turns out to be an early loss the bleeding will probably be like a heavy period. But you will be able to try again if you want to. There is a lovely thread for us over 40s on the conception board. Sorry I don't know how to link on my phone, but you are welcome to join us over there if you'd like support for trying again.

Adventuregame · 23/04/2015 11:00

So it's 3 weeks today since ERPC and having tummy twinges like you would get pre AF but I'm pretty sure I haven't ovulated yet (although not guarenteed first cycle I believe ?) and with normally having a 45 day cycle I wasn't expecting this for another few weeks. It could be just things stirring and getting back to normal I suppose.

I'll see what happens, although I have heard that post pregnancy/mc it can be like your system has been rebooted so perhaps that's what might happen to me ?

Emotionally I'm feeling good 3 weeks on and really the only thing that's lingering is subconciously calculating which week I would have been on if hadn't had mmc - this must fade in time I guess apart from the due date which I'm sure will be upsetting.

How is everyone doing today - especially those of you who had your ERPC this week ? Sending hugs

halestone · 23/04/2015 11:23

2 weeks since my ERPC, i have just got my BFN, i'm not going to lie its upset me a bit. But i have decided to go back to work tonight and get back into a routine, that might be what i need to do now.

Adventuregame · 23/04/2015 12:18

Halestone when I went back to work it felt horrible that everything had just carried on as normal (of course it had) and yet we'd been through this terrible trauma. I had no enthusiasm for it and everything felt very unimportant - so be prepared for that but after a few days it felt more like normal !

My BFN signalled the end of it for me and don't think I've cried since which I suppose is a step in the right direction. But at the same time I felt that when I was pregnant I was walking round with a little secret all to myself and now there's nothing ? I miss it........yet the thought of being pg again terrifies me !!!! Can't win ! lol

Mamama31 · 23/04/2015 12:52

Jessie sorry your going through this. I'm sure you will find some comfort on this thread as it has truly got me through the darkest days!

Halestone sorry your feeling upset. I dread the bfn preg test. Is it 2 weeks from d&c that I should do it? I think going back to work is both positive and difficult. Like adventure says, seeing life go on when yours feels like it stopped can be quite hard to take! But also I feel getting back in to routine is positive and I think keeping busy is important but also plan lots of nice things to look forward to rather than just work.

I have another 2 wks off. We are having a bbq today just us and DS (DS is completely unaware of what's happened). Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend for coffee and another friend for lunch. Sat DH and I have planned a day trip. And mon I'm meeting another friend for coffee then DH and I are going to buy a new tree for our garden as a memory but also feel it's a positive way to move forward.

I know im going to have lots of ups and downs, but I am throwing myself in to things that I know will help me. Otherwise, what's the alternative? Stay in bed and cry? I've done that for over 2 wks most days. It's time for me to start healing now and DH has been so wonderful, I need is just to get back to were we were before all of this.

Adventuregame · 23/04/2015 13:04

Mama I got my BFN 6 days after ERPC - wasn't expecting it to be negative, I was just intrigued really.

We got an azalea plant as our memory and I love it - it's really helped. Good luck finding your memory tree xxx

Mamama31 · 23/04/2015 14:15

Oh I must google azealia plant for a nosey! Sounds lovely! Thanks adventure. I will maybe test end of next week just to have the full closure. After that I'm just going to enjoy some quality time with DH without any expectation.

Adventuregame · 23/04/2015 15:13

mama the azalea flowers this time of year so thought that would be nice date wise and we chose a pot just in case we ever move house then we can take it with us (FYI needs acidic soil)

Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.
Mamama31 · 23/04/2015 15:35

Awh adventure! It's so pretty and lovely! Excellent choice! Made me :)

halestone · 23/04/2015 15:58

The hospital told me to test 2 weeks after so i kept to it exactly, i know it was still positive faintly last week when i ended up in A+E. So now i know i'm back to normal so to speak.

Loving the talk of your memory plants. I always forget about plants so they just die. I have the tiniest tattoo representing my 1st MMC and will probably do the same for this one. The 1st tattoo is of some Holly as i had, had a strong feeling i was pregnant with a girl and that would been her name. This time we hadn't chosen a name so i'm thinking of a tiny daffodil to represent this time of year, but need to think of somewhere to put it, that will look nice.

Adventuregame · 23/04/2015 16:21

Halestone I'm rubbish with plants too but my mum assures me this type are quite hardy and I'm doing well so far ! DP keeps joking (probably inappropriately although I know he doesn't mean it insensitively) that it'll be a miracle if it survives but he underestimates my determination !!

The tattoo idea is lovely - like you're carrying them with you xx

Mamama31 · 23/04/2015 17:17

Lovely ideas ladies. It's important to have a memory I think after such a traumatic experience and to represent that you came through it but won't forget it.

We had a lovely bbq today with DH and DS. Feeling tired now though and quite crampy again so under a fluffy blanket again with hot water bottle, cuppa tea and half an easter Egg. I'm sure I'll feel better soon with these nice comforts.

goneswimming · 23/04/2015 20:55

Hi, i was 6+2 yesterday and started cramping very badly, then bleeding heavily. My husband flew home from a work conference he was away at, and arrived back this morning after I had the scan at the hospital which confirmed we've lost the pregnancy. Feeling pretty drained and miserable right now, and I can't imagine feeling brave enough to try again.