Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

Hi ladies, pardon me for barging in on your thread. But could a few of you take the time to read my thread, as it would take me so long to re write the whole story again on here....my post is Possible delayed miscarriage or am I just worrying' I would really appreciate some advice, especially on the last post. Adventure, I know you had posted on it, and it was you who suggested this thread to me, it has helped me greatly. Xxx

Hi children I've tried to find your thread, but couldn't find it I'm afraid. Are you perhaps able to post a link?
Hope you are ok
I feel awful, I forgot an elderly family members birthday. I've rectified it now, but my memory is like a sieve at the moment

I couldn't find it either, I'm sorry.

Atat, don't feel bad, you have a lot else on your mind at the moment. It sounds like you realised and apologised, I wouldn't feel too bad.

I think this is your thread Paws...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2347987-possible-delayed-miscarriage-or-just-am-I-just-worrying?

I found it, sorry Allmychildren, I was looking in the wrong place! Hope this link works (never done this on my phone before): www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2347987-possible-delayed-miscarriage-or-just-am-I-just-worrying

I don't have any real advice I'm afraid, except I did have some growth in between scans and it wasn't good news. It was a different situation as mine was a mmc picked up at my 12 week scan, with a ten week sac and a five week foetus. When I went back a week later for the scan to confirm, it had grown by a week. I had to wait another week, by which time I was bleeding, to find out it was just the hormones and not a viable pregnancy.

It was different for me as the dates were so wildly out I knew there was no chance I was simply wrong, but even so it's so hard not to hope and imagine solutions and drive yourself mad not knowing.

So where are you now, how are you feeling? Sorry you're going through this, it sounds really tough waiting

hi paws just quickly scanned over your thread, am i right in thinking tha you have actually mc'd now or is it still ongoing?

i noticed you were after advice, can i just ask what it is you are looking for advice on just because it doesnt seem clear from what i read (although as i said i did just scan it).

i think things can change in size even with an mmc. with mine, my baby stopped growing but sac continued and was bang on the right dates at the first scan. at my second scan it had shrunk slightly and if i remember rightly the 'baby' had grown slightly.

Hi ladies just back from my scan and all was confirmed. The fetal pole was practically non-existent in comparison to being 4mm 5 days ago. It has helped me to accept what has happened but was difficult to see. I had a lovely gynae sister who was so kind and comforting- she told me to ttc again after my next period and that when we conceive again to call her and she will arrange a scan at 7 weeks. My d&c has been scheduled for wed. I cried just as we arrived for the scan knowing what I was going in to, and cried after we discussed the scan/d&c. Now I feel numb but also feel a bit more accepting that it just was not meant to be this time. I think after the d&c I will feel some closure and I hope I will then gain the strength to move forward with our lives and hopefully with ttc again.

It is such a surreal experience, no one could ever understand it unless they have been through it. Thanks for all your support ladies.

Paws have you done a further pregnancy test? Or are you booked in for another scan, sorry your going through this its shit i know

Mama have you been booked in for a ERPC? I hope your ok.

Hi mamma so sorry you have had to go through that today, sounds like you had a nice sympathetic sonographer that does make all the difference though.

I would try and focus on Wednesday evening, at which point this horrible thing will physically be over and you can begin to think about trying again. it is great that they have offered you an early scan, i wouldnt go at 7 weeks though. if your dates are slightly out it could cause unecessary worry. at 8 weeks, even if you were out by 2 weeks, i would still expect to see a heartbeat which is where the reassurance comes in.

If you have any questions about the ERPC i had one in December and might be able to help out. Hope you can get through the next couple of days ok.

Hi ladies, I'm boomeranging back onto this thread following my most recent mc.
Sorry to hear about your rough patch Ginger. Hope all can be forgiven and forgotten.
I've just had another MMC. I knew when I started spotting at 11 weeks that there was something wrong and that was confirmed at a scan. I booked in for medical management in hospital for yesterday.
I had a good experience with medical management in 2013 but this time things didn't go so well. Nurses were very concerned about my level of blood loss, my blood pressure went right down and they were concerned I was going to pass out/collapse.
In the end the same thing happened to me as to you Ginger, the placenta got stuck in the cervix and had to be manually removed. Wow that hurt! I yelled like I had a head crowning down there.
I was kept in overnight but they've let me home now.
I think that's me done with medical management. I would choose the surgery next time. But hope, hope, hope I never need a next time.
Best wishes to all you strong ladies.

west i meant to message you yesterday.

im so sorry you had to go through that, i hope that is the end of it for you all. did they scan you or anything to check?

im kind of glad you said it was like crowning, i was hoping after them doing that to me it would prepare me a bit more for childbirth and you've made it sound like that is the case. i couldnt convey to people how horrible those internals were when i had to have them.

anyway enough about me, how are you feeling today? just a thought didn they check your iron?

I have to go to the GP in a week for repeat blood tests. They probably have checked, but couldn't get much blood out of my arm yesterday, maybe due to low blood pressure.
I still feel dizzy if I walk around. So taking it easy today.
The thing when you give birth is when you feel the head crowning, yes it hurts badly, but you know you are seconds away from meeting your baby. Also you have the gas and air, or whatever pain relief you chose. In some way the internals are worse as there is no happy moment to look forward to and it just feels so stark and invasive.

make sure u get your iron checked as after my second bleed i was anaemic. will only stretch out your recovery if thats the case.

thank you for sharing that i know its a difficult time for you. i remember after my erpc wondering why they didnt just do that as soon as they realised tissue was stuck as it was much more easier on my physicallt and mentally.

rest up in bed, maybe get some lucozade and try and eat some iron rich foods just incase you do need them. hope ur dp is there looking after you

Ginger did you sort things out with dp? I hope he is grovelling and I hope you are ok x

Went for dinner with dp and my best friend and her dh on Friday. My best friend had a mmc back in September so I felt like she would be so understanding about my mc.
She is 23 weeks pregnant and over the moon (as am I for her) however it's been all we have talked about since she found out. Even with my mc so raw she still went on about her pregnancy and everyone she knows who is pregnant, she even had her dh feel the baby kick at the table and then went on to show me a picture of her bump that she's taken earlier that day, she even commented that I had lost weight since she last saw me!!! She text me after saying she hoped she hadn't gone on about stuff too much and that I was so good at brave face. I told her don't be silly, it's ok for her to excited. Truth was the whole time I had to fight the urge to cry! Dp was a bit in shock about the whole thing!
The following day I cried each time I saw someone's bump.
Dp has told me to stop coming on here as he thinks as much as I have comfort from reading the discussions it's not helping me to move on.
I feel like I have to check this so I can remind myself I am not the only one who feels this way!!!

ignore your dp confused. my dp was very much like that for him it was all over very quick for me i traumatised for a long time. i do think it gets to a point where you have to make a conscious effort not to wallow but its only early days for you and you do need the support i think.

as for your friend, as someone who is now pregnant after mmc, you do soon forget in a way how awful it was. i mean it will never leave me and i will always have the fear (which is an annoying reminder) but maybe she has just forgotten what those first days (months) are like after mc? was insensitive of her but i think she probably realised that hence the txt.

maybe dont see her in person until you feel a bit stronger, be easy to txt and avoid baby talk.

also wanted to add obv im on here a lot giving advice etc but sometimes i do think i should give it a rest as it really brings my focus back to mmc's which is a very scary thought in pregnancy so whereas you think she'd offer lots of support after her experience maybe she doesnt like to talk about it as it gives her worries?

i hope u r ok. it will get better i promise

My DP thinks I need to come off here too. I have to admit I do feel a little bit obsessed and it is a constant reminder of how many people experience this twice which is my main fear right now but I feel I need to still have a link to it all and help those just going through it if I can. I'm on here more than facebook !!

its only early days adventure do whatever you feel comfortable with.

i think once you have had one mmc it doesnt matter whether you come on here or not you'll still panic.

if its getting a bit much though cutting down a bit wont hurt i dont think. maybe limit it so you just post if youre having a particularly bad day or have any questions?

Hello ladies, I see that some of you managed to find my thread.....yes its all over now (well physically at least) I'm still struggling mentally but feel that little bit stronger every day. Epu said to wait for next period before ttc again, doc says at least 5 months....5 MONTHS!!! I now feel that it's a race against the clock to get pg again as the woman who moved in above us is pg, and we found out that we were pg just as she moved in! Now loosing ours at 10&5 just seems like a sick joke... And I can't bare the thought of having to listen to her crying newborn when ours was so cruelly taken from us. To top it all off I have to go to a follow up scan this Friday that 'should' have been our baby's 12 week scan date. The pain was awful when the 'Labour' part started, (after 4 days of contractions/light bleeding) I had to go to hospital as the pain suddenly got worse, they gave me oramorph and sent me home with painkillers and medical management pill/pessaries. Took the pill and waited for the next 36 hours to insert pessaries, but passed everything 30 hours after taking the oral pill that softens the cervix, so my body kinda done it naturally before I had the chance to insert pessaries! They told me the sack was only 22mm but the sack I passed was around 10-15cm's OUCH! after passing everything (which took 3 hours) it slowed to minimal bleeding and contractions ceased.
Anyway, tmi I know, but some of you had followed my story so-to-speak, and just wanted to update you. We are still healing emotionally but are going by the moto "if it's meant to be then it will be" and are just going to see what happens. Best wishes to all you gals going through this, and those who have been through it. Here's to the little ones we loved and lost. Our dp's and dh's may seem insensitive or blank with regards to our situations, and may comment on the time spent on here, but they do understand our reasons for needing outside support, and are simply a different breed. They may not show that they are hurting, but trust me they are, and are sometimes just trying to be strong for us when we can't be ourselves xxx

Wow! Just realised how long that post was, sorry guys

was it your first mc paws and did they give any reason for it? if not the usualy guidance is to wait for one af and that is just so you can get your dates right in a new pregnancy. Also you are extra fertile after mc so it is a good time to try. i would speak to the gp who advised 5 months and clarify why he advised that.

its still early days and will hurt but it does get better. unfortunately there will always be babies around so that is something you will slowly get used to. you will have a baby one day there was just something wrong with this one and i kept tellong myself that what happened was probably in some strange way for the best.

with regards to sac size i imagine it was a clot you passed that was so big, after medical management i passed some sizeable clots and thought it was baby but my medical management failed and i hadnt passed any tissue just blood and clots.

its all confusing i know. could you re-arrange your next scan fr another day? is that just to make sure everything is gone?

Paws i agree with Ginger i've had 2 MMC and was never advised to wait 5 months. I was wondering if they have advised that for a specific reason.

Everyone whose DP is saying about staying away from here for the moment, i can see where your Dps are coming from. I think they are just trying to protect you and stop you thinking about it IYSWIM. My DP tries to distract me from thinking about it, your DP's maybe doing the same, i don't think they understand the theraputic value we gain from talking to one another.

I forgot to say Fromwesttoeast, i am so sorry your going through this again. How are you today?

Hi ladies. I have woken this morning feeling very low. Probably due to thoughts of d&c tomorrow, although I'm going to be relieved to get it over with it truly marks the end of this pregnancy and loss.

I think today will be a dark day for me, not full of tears but I just feel low and a bit numb with no motivation to do anything.

We are hoping that by the wkend I will feel up to doing something as DH wants to pack a picnic and get away for the day to clear our heads. I hope I'm up to it as i know it will help.

I hope everyone else is doing ok. Sorry I keep coming back with such sad thoughts, it just helps to get it out on here.

Mama I was really numb and tearful the day before my ERPC but on the day felt strangely calm and ready for it. I recovered so well I actually went out for dinner the night after - probably not the best idea emotionally but physically I was fine and it was something that had been booked for months so didn't want to miss out and end up staying at home feeling miserable !
Just go with your feelings today and you might find tomorrow you have the strength for it all.

Thanks adventure, feels better knowing this is all normal to feel this way. I hope I get the same feeling of calm tomorrow x