Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

im not going through mc mine was in november. im actually pregnant now, 14weeks.

i want to apologise but feel if i do its saying what he did was ok. i dont know why he would ever think it is ok to do that to someone drunk or not. sorry for derailing the thread just needed to vent.

ginger don't apologise, he deserved it. I hope you're ok.

Hope you are OK ginger

im ok just annoyed upset and panicking my moves affected baby at all (realistically i know thats near on impossible but still..)

im such an idiot.

Ginger it's thanks to you I found out about this thread so derail all you like. It's amazing of you to even visit us on here and give advice and share your mc experience - especially when you've got your sticky bean to think about !!
So if we can be here for you to rant to then go full steam ahead !!!

thanks so much everyone. dp is currently in bathroom with head down loo and i cant help but think .

might encourage him to have a couple of wkends off the drink or this is going to be a very long 9 months.

thanks again. hope today is a better day for u all

Ginger DH went out yesterday to the rugby. Text at 2:30 saying he was staying the night with a friend and he'd call me soon. Fine. Didn't hear from him until 7:30 when he was clearly very drunk and repeatedly said he was on his way home asap. Never showed up. I spent most of the night of phoning him. Just had a call - he is in a hotel, doesn't really remember calling me and has no clue why he said he was coming home.
What is it about men and drink?

Anyway just sending some sympathy. Yes your response wasn't great but neither was his behaviour. (And my behaviour might not have been rosy if he had turned up!) Just apologise when he finally surfaces from the loo . I feel we might be having similar days today!

Joining you ladies with your rubbish boozy men - mine is the same! I'm currently up with the toddler while he's having my long awaited lie in!

oh gosh well i feel better for being in good company. what is it with alcohol?

he doesnt even remember me lashing out should have kept quiet. i havent quite got round to apologising yet just said i hate myself for reacting like that and for putting baby at risk. it was just a split second reaction tho. in all my 30 years ive never had a man do that to me it makes me feel a bit sick. can excuse it i guess as he was so drunk and ive dont stupid stuff when drunk before. might take me a bit longer to forget it mind.

take advantage of hungover dps feeling guilty today i say. something good may aswel come out of this

Sorry your DH is in the drunk gang too.
I'm forgiving as he isn't usually a twat and I think we both need a little lee way (sp? I've never actually written that!) at the moment. He did do things like that pre dc but has been brilliant since dd came along so as long as it's a one off I don't mind him blowing off steam in his own way.

im trying to milk a sofa out of my dp as we speak. sofa works here we come lol!

oh well yes considering what you have both been through just recently a drink might just be his way of letting go and if he doesnt have form for it make him pay today then forget about it

Enjoy the milking, you deserve it too. I had the opposite scenerio after my 1st MMC i went out and got very drunk, and turned my phone off and crawled through the door in the early hours of the morning I agree with however said it was a way of letting off steam.

Ginger that's great that you are 14wks! :) but still a sensitive time for you and that was such a disrespectful thing for him to do! I think just move on from it and make it clear that it is not acceptable yo ever repeat but draw a line under it. We all do silly silly things when drunk!

Halestone that sounds more like what I'd do.....watch this space eh?! if I feel I can ever leave the house again!!!! I know I will in time x

thanks mamma hopefully wont be long before those who want to try again are joining me!

yeah ive relaxed about it now, no new sofa though hes too hungover to go and look. ill work on him for another day ha. he is going for a sleep now so least ive got a couple of hours peace from the hungoverness. im probably just jealous

hope so ginger. So are you supposed to test to make sure the pregnancy hormones have left your system following a d&c??

I'm hoping to go out of the house today. DH has said we should take the dog to a nice beach closeby and get fish and chips. I need to make myself do this, I am not helping myself sitting inside thinking morbidly.

Scan tomorrow at 8.15 then schedule d&c asap. Hoping to have this all over with before next wkend so that we can start to move on from it and think more positively about things.

Is it advised that you use protection until after your af arrives following a d&c?? Would seem so strange given that it took us 2 yrs to even get a bfp, chances would be very slim it would happen again so soon!

they advise you to test 2 weeks later to make sure it is negative. this just confirms they managed to remove everything.

as for trying again, i was advised by my hospital to wait 6 weeks. i think this is just for af to come back and also give body chance to heal. some people say there is no need to wait but i read something online about womb lining and thought for the sake of 6 weeks it wasnt worth the risk. we just used withdrawal during this time.

you are extra fertile after mc so wouldnt be surprised if you fell quickly although, i wouldnt take that for granted.

whats stopping you going out? your dh's idea does sound nice and might pick you up a little?

when i first discovered my mmc i was petrified of leaving the house but eventually ended up on a wkend away in edinburgh. it was the first time i really kind of forgot what i was going through.

First day alone with my CC, sore so am struggling to lift her and play with her.
Had a wee cry earlier as I saw a saying
"We can always try again to get pregnant...but I wanted this pregnancy, this baby"
It's true tho...I keep saying we can have another but I was already having and already in love with this one but now it's gone...my tummy is empty and so is my heart.

oh beauty it sounds like you are having a difficult day.

what you have lost will never be replaced but hopefully the future will bring something that will help to make the heartbrache ache a little bit less.

are you able to take anything to help woth the soreness? not sure what cc stands for but asume child. can you get cuddled up on the sofa together and watch a good film?

Ginger I don't know why I'm afraid to go out, maybe in case I start to bleed but partly because I've just been unable to face the world. I am however showered and dressed, even have a bit of make up on and we are going to go. DH is struggling today, he looks very tearful so hoping that me making the effort to go out will distract us both for a while.

Beauty, I know how you feel. I really want this d&c done and over with but I dread that empty feeling. We must take one day at a time though and gradually I know things will get easier x

mamma, if it helps, you will get some kind of warning before the proper bleeding begins. as long as your not too far from home you should be ok. when i went to edinburgh i took a bag with me with towels, spare clothes and maternity pads in just incase i did get caught short. if you havent had any bleeding or anything tho it is probably not imminent.

you will feel such relief after the d&c i know i did and was the first time in 4 weeks i felt like things would begin to feel better.

sounds like you have made a bit of effort to get out and about with dp i hope it does you both good.

Mama I was exactly like you, I refused to leave the house incase I started bleeding. I actually started bleeding on the Easter Sunday and still needing the D&C on the Thursday as the baby never passed. I was terrified of it happening though. In fact going the cinemas with DP was the 1st time I had actually been out since the MMC was diagnosed.

I am almost feeling back to myself and even took my Dd out for a dance lesson today I did go back to bed though as I was knackered but that was only because Dp and Dd took up most of the bed last night.

Beauty, sorry your having a bad day, I know how you feel when you say you feel empty. I keep touching my belly then realising theres nothing in it except chocolate Also I know people are only trying to be nice when they say well at least you know you can pregnant or you can try for another. It is no help at all and I get very irritated by it.

i used to get verrrry offended in the beginning when people kept saying you can try again like that really isnt the point.

out the other side now though, and this could just be me and may make me sound awful, but i do feel now like it was just something i went through. i definitely dont want to go through it again and i know it was a baby etc but i think seeing my 12 week scan where it looked like a baby in comparisson to the one at my mmc which was a dot i feel like i do distinguish between the two a little.

i still reference the mmc a lot tho even when sharing this news i make sure i tell everyone it wasnt my first. i just think for me my feelings have changed a bit.

Hi ladies. Well I'm so glad we went out today, it was a welcome distraction. We went to the beach and there was no one there but us :) it was sunny and peaceful, our little dog ran happily in the water and it was good for the mind. We got fish and chips, then ice cream, we even laughed a little. We had lots of heart to heart chats and we discussed how we are lucky to have eachother and our little family that we do have (I have a DS age from previous r'ship). I think we are going to be ok. We have a testing week ahead but DH said when it's all over and I'm feeling a bit better we will go off somewhere nice some day, for a picnic and some relaxation to unwind and make plans for our future as we are determined this will not consume our lives or plans now.

Today has been a good day. I'm feeling more positive and although I will be in a lot of pain tomorrow from seeing the scan again, at least I know that good days will return.

Beauty I hope you feel a bit better.

Halestone it's good to know that it gets easier.

Ginger, I think it must heal to be blessed with another pregnancy where you get to see your baby developing in the scan as it should be. I hope we all get there soon x

thanks mamma i hope i arent oversharing just want to give you girls hope when your in the midst and some days feel like things are never going to get better.

i am so glad you have been out and feel better. i know tomorrow is going to be a very sad day for you but it is a day closer to getting passed the worst of things. hopefully,if u do decide on the erpc they can get you in asap. that was a big turning point for me, once i could stop waiting for it to happen.

you and your dp and ds have a bright future to look forward to, days like today will be more often and hopefully the horrible days much less.

Thank you x