Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

Just had the follow up at hospital 2 weeks after ERPC.

Had scan and everything has completely healed. Uterus and lining look perfect and tissue that was sent away was negative for molar pregnancy which is good.

He says he would be optimistic for future but wouldn't leave it too long as each year after age 35 it's harder.

Rh negative blood is really no problem and if DP turns out to be negative too then baby wouldn't be positive anyway.

Said will most likely have moments of sadness/moodiness for 2-3 months and just have to go with it.

Said sometimes you just have to accept that life is hard and roll the dice again and again.

Here's to the dice rolling ladies !!

Just realised that might be insensitive to repeat the dr's comment about age. It was more specific to me as I said we might wait a year before properly trying again and I also have a pre existing medical condition where by I have to come off medication as soon as I get a BFP.

Hope I haven't upset anyone !!

all good news adventure i hope that has put your mind at rest a little. sounds like a good gp and acknowledging how hard it is what you have been through.

its worth being aware of the age thing. i was glad i fell pregnant when i did with that happening to me as although i am only 30, and touchwood it never happens to any of us again, it made me realise if i wanted a big family or more than 1 time is of the essence.

He bloomin should be good - we went private in the end to get it done before the Easter bank holidays as NHS were making me wait 10 days !! Very expensive but totally worth it !!

I'll be 38 in July so I think maybe we should get straight on it !!

Hi ladies, I'm just seeking some comfort I guess. I have had 3 early scans, the first at 5+3 showing empty sac, the 2nd at 6+3 showing sac, yolk and fetal pole measuring 4.9mm (obv getting our hopes up) then 3rd scan at 7+3 showing exactly the same as 6+3 so no development or heartbeat. We are completely and utterly devastated as we believed this was it for us after 2 long years ttc! I have another scan on Monday just to confirm what we already know then have to make a decision how I want to proceed. If nothing has happened by Mon I think I'll get a d&c as I feel this would be the best closure for us.

It's such early days, please tell me each day gets easier (we only found out yesterday) and that the tears will stop.

Halestone I was on Nov thread with you. I hope you are ok x

Mamama31 I know it's different for everyone but I can tell you how my feelings went.....

I had bleeding and contractions on the Saturday and Sunday. Had the bad news scan on the Monday morning and was booked in for ERPC (D&C) on the Thursday. I pretty much cried all of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday but by the day of the procedure I felt strangely calm - like I just wanted it to be dealt with. Recovered physically really quickly with no pain and hardly any bleeding. Kept having moments of tears over the following weekend and on the following Tuesday I had a proper sobbing cry on DP and felt better for it ! Had a negative pg test on the Wednesday night which made me cry again although at the same time brought closure with it. I've not really cried since although at my follow up scan today I could feel my emotions hovering on the surface !!

Take your time to come to terms with it and cry as much as you need to.......
It's so shit but it does get easier. I didn't want it to as I felt like I was forgetting it but you just do. We bought a memory plant and although we're not religious or morbid I am quite sentimental and it's helped yo mark it in some small way.

Hope that helps and come on here to ask questions any time.

Lots of love and a big hug x

mama for you
Everyone deals with it in different ways. I found that after a week or so, I stopped crying, and wanted to move on. In the end, I have never been more happy to see a negative result, as I felt like i could finally move on.
As I said though, that's just my experience. Thinking of you x

i think after one cycle you should get back at it. look up about ovulation etc. u r more fertile after mc so hopefully u will get lucky!

mama i was a mess in the very beginning, for about a month. even after that i was very down on occasion but it does get better. it is like any grieving process really, with time real life starts to take over again and it becomes a distant memory.

embrace how you feel and dont let anyone else make you feel like you shouldnt. you need to go through the motions. make sure u have plenty of support too,people u can talk ur feelings through with.

the d+c for me was the easiest part. i wont bore you but i had complications that resulted in an emergency d+c after exploring other routes. i wish id done it straight away.

if you can speak to your hospital, they can sometimes arrange for it to happen the same day as the scan. thoughts are with u and sorry for your loss will get lots of support here.

Ginger yes I think hearing the dr comment on time has made me suddenly feel like there's a clock ticking above my head. He asked how many children we wanted and I said just one so at least that eases the pressure slightly.

I think because it took me almost the whole 12 weeks to get my head round the idea of being pregnant in the first place I'm scared to go through that panic again. Add to that the worry of having another mc and I'll be positively freaking out !!

BUT.......lets just see if we can get pregnant again first I guess !!

Thanks ladies. It helps to know that it will get easier. I am letting my emotions flow, but my face is stinging from crying so trying to be a bit calmer today. DH is pretending to cope and be strong for me but he is absolutely devastated and takes himself in to another room to secretly cry away from me even though it's quite obvious. I feel so sad for him too. It's such a mixture of emotions and heartache. I'm dreading the scan on Mon to confirm what we already know. But hoping for d&c not too long after that for closure. I would like to do something memorable also, perhaps a new little tree for our garden.

Mama , i am so sorry you've joined us. I agree with the others just let your emotions do what they need to. The 1st few days were the worst then it just comes over you suddenly.

Arghh i spoke to the Drs yesterday, they prescribed antibiotics and told me to do a urine sample. They were closed for the afternoon which i wasn't told, so went with the sample and got my prescription this morning. Last night was horrific, i spent the night with vomiting and diarrhoea and couldn't lie on my back or stomach because of the pain. I actually thought about going to A+E then dismissed it as i knew i was starting antibiotics today. The Drs receptionist has just rang and said the dipped my urine and there was no sign of infection. The Dr is going to ring me for another telephone consultation. I just want this whole thing over now. Today marks 2 weeks since i found out about the MMC and 1 week since the ERPC. Surely i should be back to full health now i feel like a hypochodriac (sp??).

Thanks halestone. And I'm sorry your having such a terrible time, that's just horrendous. I hope your feeling back to full health soon.

DH has just broke down, seems we are taking turns at trying to be the strong one. He said that he hasn't accepted it, ive told him he needs to accept it before the scan on Mon because if he goes in to that with any false hope he will feel even worse when given the news we already know. So hard telling someone you love to give up all hope, but it's for the best.

Halestone, I've had almost identical problems, it sucks but you're definitely not being a hypochondriac!

Mama, sorry to hear you're having such a rough time .

Hi everyone, I'm just here for a bit of comfort too. My miscarriage was confirmed today through blood tests, I was only about 6 weeks along but I'm devastated. I'd only known for a couple of weeks but I had so many dreams for my little bean. Reading your posts make me feel a bit better though, it's good to know that it'll get better. Also DH doesn't seem to want to open up to me, I can't tell if he's actually ok or if he feels like he has to be strong for me, anyone else have anything similar? Thank you everyone.

with my dp i had a difficult time. he didnt cry once and in the end i felt i had to hide my tears from him. i dont know how he felt as he never really said and tbh i was too wrapped up in my own grief.

it was hard because everyone kept saying it should brng us closer together but i never felt like that. i think people just deal with things differently. in his eyes it wasnt a baby.

try and talk to your dp and give him chance to voice his opinions. so sorry for your loss

Having my d and c tomo, today has been hard with reliving it all and am so scared as I have never had an op before and my husband isn't even allowed to stay with me as I recover!! I am terrified of needles (to the point I pass out freak out etc)

Hope it goes well today beauty. Why isn't your husband allowed to be with you?

I hate needles too and they did take some blood beforehand, but the anaesthetist was so lovely and let me have gas to send me off to sleep rather than injection and he held my hand as I drifted off.

The op was so quick I was awake less than an hour after and back on the ward, getting cups of tea from the nurses and dozing. It'll be ok.

Beauty I'm having the same done today. It's my 2nd in 6 months. It's by far the better management option, the waiting is the worst bit. The doctors and nurses were fantastic, I slept for 12 hours solidly when I got home!
Please don't be scared, it is so much less traumatic than medical management. You'll only be in theatre for 10 mins. Thinking of you today xx

Beauty I hope it all goes ok for you today, I'm sure it will. I will be having mine next week some time and I've also never had an op before so feeling nervous. But I'm just at the stage now where I need that closure and know that's the best way to get it.

I'm sure you will be well looked after. Big hugs, and make sure DH takes good care of you.

beauty thinking of you today. my erpc was my first op i have white coat sydrome too. the scariest bit for me was being taken for the anaesthetic as i didnt realise how many people would be involved. that said, you are there maybe 2minutes before you start going to sleep and next thing you know you are awake and it is all over. it is such a relief that it is entirely worth the couple of minutes of panic.

afterwards you will feel drowsy for a little, for me it was about half hour, 40 minutes then i felt back to my normal self and i was just so glad i had some closure.

i hope you are ok, thinking of you

hi, just looking for a little advice/perspective ...
i'm currently miscarrying (have been bleeding since last wed, but not v heavy, and it's getting less and less), i have my second scan next week, but basically I'm just sick of waiting for the bleeding to worsen. has nayone experienced a complete MC that didn't involve a lot of bleeding, and that didn't need additional intervention/surgery?

I'd just like to have some idea of whether I'm nearing the end after a week+ of bleeding, whether it is likely to suddenly worsen, or if I'm going to need assistance to complete the MC?
the limbo is torture
thanks x

5hell, I had the same thing. Came here to seek comfort from these wonderful ladies before I had it confirmed by my GP on Wednesday that I had MC.
I had brown then red with some clots but not so much that I could be adamant that I had mc and I read so many women saying they had fairly heavy bleeding and then went on to have healthy babies that I clung to that. I had no pain just very minor period like pains. Pregnancy test showed negative which the gp explained that my body had mc naturally and that I should only go back if I have any pain.
The limbo is complete torture I agree and feels like it goes on forever. I did a test the night before my appt because I knew I had lost baby and I wanted to find out at home and not to be told in a doctors surgery! Thinking of you.

To ladies saying their DP have struggled to open up mine is very much the same. I have to fight the urge to be cross when I ask him why he won't talk to me. He just said he feels sad but I think too that he feels like he has to be the strong one. I wish he would show how he feels more so I don't feel like the only one who is grieving.
Dr mentioned that my cycle should just go back to normal and if we want to try again then there's no reason we shouldn't. For something that wasn't planned anyway (though something we both want desperately for the future) I now can't think of anything else but falling pregnant again. I think it's the only thing keeping me from crying 24 hours a day. DP said he needs some time to think. I'm worried we will both be on very different pages.
I can't tell you all how much reading this thread has helped and I hope helps all other ladies who are here.
My thoughts are with you all x

Confused ours wasn't really planned either but something we'd talked about wanting but I totally know what you mean - all I want is to be pregnant again !!!! The thougt of actually having a baby still freaks me out but I'm devastated to have lost our first try and hope we can try again soon.

Beauty and Fifi, good luck today. I found I had an amazing sleep after the op. But cried loads when I came round.

5hell, that sounds awful, I have no advice except maybe expect more bleeding but hopefully it won't happen.

For those of you saying about your DPs feelings mine has only cried once and had tears when we were telling DsD. He has said that we're not trying again. I have decided to leave the conversation alone for now and to give him time to heal as well.

My GP gave me a call last night and sent me to A+E. Whilst there the police were there looking for a mother who had abandoned their baby in toilets. Well I sobbed my heart out when I heard that. The poor baby and Mother. After bloods, urine an internal I was given stronger antibiotics. FX they work.

oh heck think ive just seen that on dm hale beautiful baby. hope mother is found safe and well.

5hell, i know on the previous thread to this one poster didnt bleed a lot at all but mc fully. i think its different for everyone. how far along were you?