Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

Adventuregame that's lovely idea. I might look into something similar.
How is everyone doing?

I've been hovering around the TTC after MC thread even though we're not trying and it's interesting to read aout all the ovulation predicting and inspiring to read the determination there !
At the same time there are so many who have suffered through an mc more than once and that makes me so fearful about going through all this again ??

adventure i understand your fears and went through them myself but i just kept telling myself if you dont try you will never know and for a baby it is worth it.

also kept trying to remind myself two mmcs in a row is probably unlikely. you can only try and hope. its scary as heck tho!

Thanks ginger

I know we will try again but it's sad that I know the whole thing will be overshadowed by worry every step of the way - are you ever able to relax and enjoy being pregnant ? I can't imagine not expecting it to happen again.

I suppose the statistics of it happening twice get a bit distorted on here as it's those going through it that need the support where as there must be thousands who go on to have a healthy second pregnancy who arent on here ? (she says trying to convince herself)........

I am grateful to those like yourself Ginger who help those of us going through it and are brave enough to share your experiences and give us hope. If I could add a smiley face on my computer I would put one here !!

Thanks

Tbh I'm dreading trying again (if I ever stop flipping bleeding). But DH is very keen (first time ever!) to try ASAP and I haven't stopped wanting a baby so I'm just going to take the plunge and sort out the emotional mess when/if it comes to it. Probably not a very practical approach but the best I've got at the moment.
I have also looked up a local charity that does counselling for these kinds of situations but not sure if it's too early to say how much I'm struggling. It might just be hormones. Has anyone else reached out for any more formal support? Just wondering if it was helpful.

Hello, can my scan today. Was 13 wks but baby measured 6wks with a sac measuring 12 weeks. Sad but I now have to wait a week for assessment and I just want it over and done with. Trying to hold it together for my wee girl and husband. Worst part is I have bn so sick lots of ppl know I was preg and have now to tell ppl. Been eating my feelings all day, trying to fill the empty hole in my womb

this sounds a bit much but I feel like everything I went through, if I can share and make it that little bit easier on someone else then it kind of makes it a little bit more worthwhile.

you do forget it, for me I kept reading the miscarriage statistics thing that is linked to on here quite often and that kept me going a bit. I hope this doesn't offend anyone either but I also kept thinking if I mc and it happens like a mc (and not a missed one) I would cope with it better. I obviously don't know if that's the truth but it kept me going.

then you have the goalposts to work to, my mc was discovered at 9 weeks so once I got to that point I kept telling myself ooh im more pregnant than I have been before. I did start to relax abit about 8 weeks as statistics improve then, but then I had a scare at 9 weeks and that set me back. im 13+4 today and again I feel relaxed although now im panicking a bit about late mc or people that give birth at like 20 weeks. so I guess no you never do really relax fully, gone are the days of naievity with a first pregnancy! Things do get better though. You just have to focus on the nice things as much as you can. I have bought lots this time as last time i really regretted it and it is nice to get it all out and have a look and cheer myself up from time to time. I am having counselling too which helps.

Bless you ginger !!

Beauty I had told about 10 peoe as I was in major panic when I found out in was pregnant. After the mmc I sent a sime text to each one saying we'd had sad news etc and I found everyone so supportive and lovely. In a way I wanted peoe to know as I didn't want to pretend it hadn't happened or try and act like I wasn't upset and heartbroken xx

Beauty sorry you have to join us.
I know what you mean about eating, our Easter chocolate didn't last a week. Lots of people knew for me as well for the same reason and actually once they'd been told I found it good. I didn't have to pretend to be normal. I could answer questions like how are you doing with "looking for distractions" or "physically better" and people know what I mean and not push it. Could your DP send texts/emails? Everyone was brilliant once they knew and understood that I couldn't talk about anything but the practical arrangements face to face. Hopefully your friends and family will be the same. [hugs]

*people

sandman yes that's how it was for me. I couldn't talk about it without crying but I could text and took comfort from everyone's love and concern.

So sorry Beauty. The same thing happened to me in 2013. It's so shocking isn't it. You expect some kind of warning signal from your body, but no.

beauty agree with the others, when you feel upto it the people you have told will provide a great support.

i think you will always want to acknowledge it happened too probably. i know now when i share my pregnancy news i am telling people about my loss as i feel like its the right thing to do for me. i want people to know i had been pregnant before too. you will get lots of support here and i hope you have plenty on rl too

ginger hope you don't mind me asking, and please don't feel like you need to answer.
Have they done any additional checka or scans on you, or was it only after your scare? Just wondering if they monitor you earlier due to the history?

Beauty i am so sorry you have joined us. I cried everytime i told someone what had happened to us. Have the hospital given you, your options for the next steps. The only advise i can give is do whats right for you.

My very 1st pregnancy was a MMC with my 2nd pregnancy i didn't look forward to scans i dreaded getting bad news and only calmed down when they told me they saw the heartbeat. This pregnancy again i was terrified of scans but the last scan i felt easier about as we had seen the heartbeat, was still worried but not as bad as other scans. I was distraught when i realised this one had passed away as well.

Its my Birthday today, i don't feel like celebrating and have got a phone appointment with my GP. I am convinced that i have a UTI. It burns when i pass urine. But i feel physically better and the pains are only occasional but the bottom of my back is uncomfortable.

AtAt they only offer reassurance scans on the NHS after 3 consecutive miscarriages. They treat pregnancy after miscarriage the same as an ordinary pregnancy. Its upsetting but at the same time i found it a little reassuring.

Sand i hope your ok, definitely access the support and come here to talk as well. I think the emotional/psychological part of a miscarriage is worse than the physical side.

beauty

Thanks halestone I think I will. I'm seeing my friends tomorrow and I expect them to announce their pregnancy. She will be due Oct, same as I was. I'm just not sure how to start processing my emotions, they just seem too big.

Sorry you're joining us beauty.

Does anyone else feel like their immune systems has taken a battering? In the past two weeks (am now four weeks post surgery) I've been ill three times - sent home today with tummy trouble and general achiness, after a tummy bug then head cold, each of them days apart. I think I might also have had an infection which I got antibiotics for. I'm trying to take my vitamins and stay healthy but it's so hard when I keep getting these setbacks.

I did wonder if today was the start of my first period, they are usually really easy but I wondered if my first after such a trauma might make me physically ill too, has anyone else had this?

as halestone said no no extra care or anything was offered. i dont know if something will be done about birth. i haemorraged a few times with the mmc and when i mentioned this to the midwife at booking in she made it sound like that might have to be monitored or something although i dont know how?!

sorry youre having such a crap time halestone. does sound a bit like a uti. can u try some home remedies in the meantime to ease it? cranberry juice etc?

Sandman, does your friend know about what happened? Might be worth mentioning in advance, or getting your dh to, if you don't think you can handle it. Then she can approach sensitively.

Suz yes she does, we are close and I knew they were trying. She's already told me, it would just be telling the rest of our friends. Everyone knows so I think they will be nice but I don't want to detract from their happy news.

Have been reading various threads since I found out I was pregnant 9 days ago.
It came as a surprise as I have been on the pill and extremely careful!
Had had very minor cramps for about 3 1/2 weeks which I now put down to everything stretching etc.
3 days after positive test I woke up to find light brown when I wiped, then went on to red with a few clots. I called nhs and went to see my GP who said to go to the epu if it got any worse (I had no severe pains) but that it could be normal or the start of something. They dated me at about 6 weeks so would be almost 7 now.
Have had the same stomach pains but nothing unbearable, just a hint of a cramp. I am due to go back to back to the GP tomorrow with a urine sample.
I couldn't wait that long and this afternoon I did a clear blue (the one that tells you how many weeks) and it came back not pregnant? I haven't had any symptoms at all anyway so I can't say they've disappeared. Am feeling a bit helpless and a bit stupid for getting so attached to my tiny grain of rice baby :(
Have read a few things that suggest a chemical pregnancy but it seems that would happen earlier at around 3 weeks?
Everyone seems so supportive on here, I guess that's all I'm looking for or if anyone has experienced something similar?

Confused I don't have any knowledge on chemical pregnancy but I had no symptoms apart from sore boobs for the whole 12 weeks I was pregnant and the baby lasted til 9 weeks so you shouldn't count that.

As for getting attached I had major problems with even wanting my pregnancy and was in a huge panic but had just got my head round it when we had the bad news. I was far more devastated than I ever imagined and have cried endlessly !

See what your GP says tomorrow. Lots of hugs coming your way on here

confused you didnt just get attached to a grain, you got attached to a future and what was to come. when you know youre pregnant it doesnt matter how far gone you are you just see yourself with a baby sometime in the near future. its devastating.

everyone mc's different. it's hard to say from what you have shared whether that is what's happened. i would wait until you have seen the gp tomorrow. thinking of you i know your head is probably all over just now

Adventure I love the plant. I do papercutting and have a special template I'm going to cut for baby when I feel ready. Also I'm floating around the same ttc board and I've noticed how many people there have had multiple mc I wasn't really thinking about it until I saw that, just assumed everything's big would be ok next time

Sorry you've joined us beauty and I have everything crossed for good news for you confused. Sorry I have no knowledge of chem pg either. Gingerbread got it exactly right - it's a future you are losing not just a tiny group of cells.

Hailstone I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time

My ic pg tests came today so I'm going to test tomorrow morning and for the first time ever will be hoping for a negative.