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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 19 - tests, treatment, trying again.

995 replies

bythesea82 · 06/03/2015 12:07

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

OP posts:
AndCounting · 19/03/2015 19:05

longest and baking I'm really moved by what each of you said.

Marchgirl · 19/03/2015 19:19

Yes. It's nice to hope some good might come of this shit situation. Don't feel too strong at the moment but hopefully we all will at some point.

Flower29 · 19/03/2015 20:30

Very true baking! What you've said just goes to show how women have to deal with most of the shit in life and are definately the stronger sex.

I've been feeling shit the past couple of days. Just fed up of feeling like no one (mainly nhs) gives a shit and won't help at least get me onto the right path of having appropriate testing. I feel so desperate I've been crying most of the time and even tho I'm willing to pay, neither the GPs or hospital have suggested anywhere I can go, fucking useless.
I know this feeling won't last forever (and there will be light at the end of the tunnel) but I just want to go away and disappear. But I can't do that. As barking said a while back, I just need to keep putting one step in front of the other.

Most of you on here are a lot stronger than me and have had to endure so much more. You really are the dogs bollocks! Smile x

Flen · 19/03/2015 20:38

Hugs to you flower, and you've been ace to me the last few days. Can you look for private testing in your area? I just googled it, and the same consultant I see on the NHS does testing privately. Whereabouts are you?

Flen · 19/03/2015 20:42

Hugs to everyone not feeling the strength today. baking what you said is wonderful and true. I do believe that going through difficult stuff makes us more compassionate, kinder and wiser, even if it can be hard to feel it.

bootles · 19/03/2015 20:46

monten argh to your boss. Rant away.

barking I echo what everyone else has said, there is hope. I absolutely appreciate how horribly stressful this must be for you though, and send you hugs.

counting thank you. Its got to be helpful to see the positives of all this continuous, relentless stress and sorrow being over, whatever the outcome is. How are you holding up during this waiting time?

sebs glad you got a response.

flower I very much doubt you offended anyone, don't worry.

longest thank you for your very kind and thoughtful words. They lifted me. Without you ladies on here I think I would be quite lost. I don't think I have any illusions about adoption - I know it"s practically impossible to be matched with a baby, and adopted children can have all manner of issues, and they have usually had a pretty hard time of it which brings it's own problems. My main concern would be DS, and how he would adapt. When I feel a little more balanced I think I will look into it, learn more, and see where that takes us.

baking it's strange isn't it, how much women seem to process their MC's and it just doesn't have the same effect on the men. I definitely feel that life is just the way it is. There's no fairness, no rhyme or reason most of the time. Its just about how you eventually deal with the crap that's thrown your way. On a good day, I can see the way through it, and feel quite empowered. On a bad day, it's tough. How is Mr Baking coping generally with F's diagnosis? And how is she doing herself?

bootles · 19/03/2015 20:52

flower sorry things are so hard. It really doesn't help when you have to negotiate the system. It"s a bit bloody useless that even the hospital can't refer you on somewhere. Yes where are you? Someone may have some idea... Absolutely agree with one step in front of the other, and its ok to stop and have a little lie down every so often too x

Flower29 · 19/03/2015 20:53

I'm in sheff/barnsley, I tried one my Pilates tutor recommended but they don't do private. I haven't heard back from the 2 private hospitals tho. (I couldn't face phoning, thought I'd just blubber) I've booked to see gp to request thyroid test as I've discovered it's on my mums side (thanks for letting me know mum!) and I also have a few symptoms. My mum responded with 'not sure if that can cause mc though' grrrr, yes it fucking can!!!
Tbh I'm being a big stupid wimp and am scared about coventry too. I know once I speak to prof q or b I will feel so much better but the whole procedure and treatments scare me. I know I need to get a grip (and probably need a slap, ha).

bootles · 19/03/2015 21:01

bythesea good news. Understand you are still fee!ing wobbly though. What is the plan now in terms of scans?

ourday I think you posted a few days back - how are you? How's it all going?

flower sorry I don't know that area... When you think you can, I'd try and ring the private ones. How can you get referred to the one your Pilate's tutor knows? Re Coventry, the only procedure I have heard of them doing is the linig biopsy, and its really fine. The medications such as steroids I was anxious about, but once I got used to the concept of taking drugs in pg, it was fine.

enlightenedbunny · 19/03/2015 21:03

Sorry for the absence - its been so busy at work lately that I've literally walked in, quick tea and toast and straight to bed.

Havent read through everything but caught some updates
bootles hugs, hugs and more hugs. So sorry that you're feeling like this at the mo. You sound (understandably) in a bad place at the moment and perhaps you need some help IRL to get through. After mc3 last year it took me a LONG time to realise how low I was, and when I eventually saw my GP he was brilliant. It took me months to get anywhere near to 'coping' but it did happen. Have you seen your GP or do you have access to counselling? (Btw, if you don't qualify for the trial, I don't see why you couldn't be prescribed cyclogest anyway? Would your EPU support you with scans?)Flowers
monten I often wonder of all the 'smuggy mc-smug-pant' people in the world ACTUALLY have the awesome facebook-life they project, or if the reality is just a little bit different, perhaps even a little bit empty...
barking sorry about the needles and sorry you don't have as many as you'd hoped for. But you have some, and all you need is one? Sending you a belated St Patrick's day Shamrock in the hope that this time it works!

lots of love to all the ladies going through hard times at the mo xxx

Flen · 19/03/2015 21:07

monten a friend texted me today "don't compare the inside of your life with the outside of other people's" and I liked it.

Flower29 · 19/03/2015 21:14

It's called Jessops, part of a maternity hospital which do rmc but I'd need a gp referral. I think they do some private but you still need a referral.

Thank you, I'll call the private hospitals so when I'm not so weepy. I'm sure they'll do some sort of testing and be able to help. X

Flower29 · 19/03/2015 21:14

Good point flen. Smile

barkingtreefrog · 19/03/2015 21:30

Ooo, flen, I'm nicking that one! Grin It's so true though. When I start going down the Envy route looking at all the friends who now have babies, or even two, who all started ttc after us, DH asks me if I'd switch my whole life for theirs. Invariably no. I want the baby, but I don't want their relationship/financial situation/job stress etc etc, so I shouldn't be wishing myself in their shoes.

And on the opk, I use those, and that to me would be a sign that the next day would be stronger. I'd usually get two or three progressively stronger lines over consecutive tests. If I did it twice a day I'd get a definite positive, but if not I might miss it.

bythesea sorry, I was being too self absorbed earlier to say good news on the scan, and fingers crossed it just gets that little bit more reassuring each time. Lots more good scans to come Thanks.

Thanks everyone for the support, I'm just annoyed that I left the clinic this morning expecting egg collection on Saturday, and now I've got to wait another 4 days to see if there's anything there, and do three more of the nasty mixing injections in the syringe as well as the standard gonal F, and the trigger shot, which is another mixer and syringe job. Fed up of it!

Frecklefire · 19/03/2015 21:35

Barking - its not over yet xxx i can imagine that you want to arm yourself and dare not hope, but i work with the most lovely woman and she went through exactly this. It was her one and only chance and she only had one that worked and was implanted, but now her beautiful boy is 20 months - she calls him her miracle baby. It just goes to show!

On addoption, i know another, wonderful lady who tried for 10 years to fall pregnant. They decided on addoption and even moved to make it happen, and it did! She addopted the most exquisite, yumtastic, beautiful little 2 year old. And there were a few outstanding health issues to be ironed out - but it made their life, they are literally living 'happily ever after'! So it can work. I know they had to endure two years of interviews, but by God it was worth it. Xxx

Flower29 · 19/03/2015 21:38

Oh barking, you're nearly at the end of those horrid objections, keep thinking of the end goal, each one is taking you a step closer. Big hug for you. X

girliesaints · 19/03/2015 22:15

Late night check in for me today.

Barking- keep thinking positive thoughts lovely lady x

Sebs- glad to hear you've found a sympathetic medical ear

Bythesea- excellent scan news

Waves at everyone else xx

Had shitty day as AF has gone awol after threatening an appearance for the last week. It's never late and no, I can't be pregnant unless it's a immaculate conception. Which means it will turn up whilst we're away next week.

Found out today that team PA is pregnant and everyone else knew except me as she was worried how I would take it. Really sweet that she was considerate but really annoyed that MCs have made me that person everyone fuzzes over. Know I should be grateful to have considerate colleagues but just wish I wasn't in this position.

Anyway focusing on the positive tomorrow is Response trial sign up day. So hopefully I should have something positive to focus on.

Brummiegirl15 · 19/03/2015 22:37

So sad on here today. Big hugs to those who are struggling. Flowers

We've all been through so much and we are still standing. Just about, but still standing x

Marchgirl · 20/03/2015 06:35

Loving that advice flen!

Hand holding barking, not much longer. it will all be worth it in the end. Each horrible needle means one less to go.

Sorry af is annoyingly absent girlie, hope she arrives soon.

flower, huge hugs. I know it may not feel like it from your end, but you come across as amazingly strong and are always so caring and encouraging on here. Sadly i can't help with referrals in your area as we're miles away, but i spoke to a friend of mine who went private and they eventually went through CARE in nottingham. (Although it's possible they had the standard rmc testing at their ivf hospital up here in Scotland and just went to CARE for the immune stuff). They eventually got a protocol of progesterone, heparin, steroids, high dose folic, calcium and monthly intralipid injections but now have two healthy children (conceived 2 years apart on the same protocol), so it obviously worked for them. Hope you're reading this bit too barking

Justonemoretime · 20/03/2015 06:47

I'm full of cold so been lurking in between coughing up gunk, but I wanted to add my well wishes to those struggling though dark times at the moment. Hugs to you. Ask for help if you need to, and try not to be too hard on yourselves. I have every hope that you will come out the other side. This journey has made and makes us incredibly strong; lesser women (or men) couldn't keep going, but we do and, as Baking says, we are invincible to the core, even though it doesn't always feel like it.

Bythesea, great scan news, at your stage I settled for 'highly encouraging'. I hope things continue to go well; I'm sure they will.

Freckle, do you have the Easter hols soon? Hang on in there if you can, but take the time you need if you can't. They'll live.

Barking, everything crossed for you.

Boozle80 · 20/03/2015 07:12

I used the digital opk which tracks you over 6 months - I think it was made by clear blue and I found it really good as it learns your hormone amounts and adjust appropriately. It was quite pricey though and the sticks are expensive but I got fed up as I was crap at reading the lines!

Boozle80 · 20/03/2015 07:24

Flower I used Manchester St Mary's miscarriage clinic and they were brilliant. They're self referral and I found them, by far, the best one in this area. Doesn't matter if you're out of area either - I'm in holmfirth and they took me, no questions. Let me know if you want to meet up for a coffee and cake, although I have a bit of a bump so completely understand if you'd rather stab me in the eye!

Marchgirl · 20/03/2015 07:37

Reading back in not sure whether I made it clear barking, that both were ivf babies, hence the reference to you!

Flower29 · 20/03/2015 08:07

Thank you everyone for all your support and advice, even though you yourselves are having shit times too.

Sorry for others struggling aswell bootles, barking, girlie, freckle and anyone else Flowers

Thanks boozle, will pm you. X

sebsmummy1 · 20/03/2015 08:52

AF has arrived, cd25 Grin

I'm ecstatic lol.