Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 19 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bythesea82]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Brummie you can miss a period but I've never been charting OV when I have so I can't say that I ovulated as normal as I was in my twenties and just went on a crazy strict diet and my period disappeared for one cycle.

brummie think stress can also cause this. Not sure how ovulation would work though. Anyway hopefully it will pitch up ASAP.

flippity - sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time at the moment. Anniversaries of what could / should have been are so sad. Hugs.

Hello! Thanks for the new thread, Bythesea!
Sorry you're concerned, Loopy. Hope you get some resolution soon so that you can make a plan. Holding on to hope for you.
Just marking my place, will update later.

Just turned 40 years old.
DS born 2009 after blissfully naive pregnancy.
mc1 2011 at 7 weeks
mc2 2013, anembryonic discovered few days short of 12 week scan on boxing day. Managed at home about 2 weeks later which was horrendous.
mc 3 March 2014, heartbeat gone by 2nd scan at 8 weeks. Positive experience of surgical procedure this tkme.
RMC said as all so different, probably no underlying cause which although hard to accept at time, instinct seemed to agree in end.
Took longer than usual to fall pregnant and was due to see gp with view to get IVF referral but fell pregnant and am currently19 weeks preg with little girl. Had harmony test for for trisomies as convinced some thing terrible will happen one way or another... i.e. the pneumonia and sepsis was I hospital for 3 weeks ago. We got through that, got consultant appt on Monday and anomaly scan on Wed... they should be the other way around. But so far seems ok... dare I say it?
Thank goodness for all the ladies on here for this safe place. I don't think anyone gets it until it has happened to them. Sending hugs to everyone that needs one. Miscarriage and trying to carry on after is awful awful awful. Xxxx

I've realised some of the above dates etc is mixed up. I deal with it all by blocking it out, and have got really good at it, so recalling details, dates etc can actually be tricky. That or my mind is going! :)

Just a quickie. Thanks everyone. Survived today. I think I'm in love with Coventry. Feel like I'm still driving though. It's taken me a whole day to drive there and back! Lining was fine... A grand 9mm. Scan showed I've ov which is great news for little miss paranoid here. Procedure was a little ouchy but I've not taken any paracetamol. I didn't ask questions... Brain freeze! Come away with progesterone to take from CD 20 and will get heparin. Steroids if high nk cells. I'm so happy with my decision to go there even though I don't meet the nhs 3 mc criteria. If any one isn't sure about going, I totally recommend it. Got to try to explain it all to my dh now and I've a memory like a fish. Will read through and catch up properly lately. Thank you to those recommending it.

Great news diddly, sounds like a really positive experience. I'm looking forward to speaking to a healthcare professional who actually believes they might be able to help. Fingers crossed for you for next cycle x

Hello everyone, I am the reincarnation of Busymumm, that username was from a different lifetime!
My stats:
Me 37, DH 48
DS 7, DS4 then 4 miscarriages at 7 / 8 / 5 / 10 weeks. Was on Progesterone and blood thinners for fourth, avoided taking a Bounty Pack for five weeks then started bleeding the day after accepting the blooming thing.
Tests showed no chromosome abnormality, and it was another boy.
Question every day if I am being selfish for TTC when DH is 48.

Glad it went well diddly! Yesterday I was having doubts about going and whether we should just try again but I know Coventry is the right move. When you say ouchy, what would you compare it to? Think I'm going to take paracetamol beforehand as I'm a bit of a wimp.

flippity hope you're ok during the anniversary.

brummie hope you find out what your body's playing at one way or another soon and you can get booked into Coventry,

Thanks flower starting to get really upset by it now.

Biscuits my DP is nearly 46 and i have those exact worries too. It's why I feel we can't slow down to assess things or take a break as each month missed is another month older.

Age really bothers me

Loopy, so sorry to hear your worries. I know what you mean about wondering if it's the universe sending you message - it's trying to make sense of something that makes no sense.
Every time I had a miscarriage I decided my two boys were enough and I was done, but then a few weeks later i'd change my mind.
But I certainly don't think it's part of a bigger plan, it's just... crap.

diddly - that's great that you found coventry such a positive experience. It's so amazing when a doctor actually takes you seriously and tries to help rather than making you feel bad for asking about other options.

biscuits and brummy - does paternal age have much bearing on male fertility / risk of mc etc? You never hear much said about it, is always just maternal age. I think I had always assumed that men could swan around impregnanting women more or less for as long as they could get it up??

Brummiegirl15, my Dh would be at least 49 now if we did have another. I originally said I wanted us to be done before he was 43. Then started trying again when he was 45 and three years later...
He doesn't mind but I worry that the child might be bullied - kids can be cruel. And some people at work the other day said they thought I was about 22, which was a bit wierd TBH, if people really think i'm that young I'm probably not doing a particularly good job at work. When I said OH was older they said "oh so he's a bit of a cradle-snatcher then" and "people must think it's dad and daughter" which I thought was a bit rude as i'd never met them before!!!
Having said that there was a discussion programme on the other day about older dads and Stuart Baggs(?) off of the Apprentice said his dad had him when he was 50. That meant that the time when Stuart really needed his dad when he was a teenager, his dad was always around, and he said he really cherished that time.
I don't know.

Sunandrainbow, I think age has a slight impact on fertility for men, although not as much as women. But higher risk of autism? My concern was more around impact on the child. But funny how you change your opinion when you're in that situation!!

Ah - I see, think I get wrong end of stick about male age. Sorry. x

biscuits like the new name!

flower I found the uterine biopsy comparable to a smear, same sort of fiddling about involved ( speculum etc) and I had one cramp when they took a bit of lining. It's a v thin tube they put into your uterus so no forcing the cervix open involved. It was a lot less ouchy than having a coil put in, for example. Paracetamol or ibuprofen probably a good idea to take the edge off, and take a pad or liner in case you have spotting afterwards.

I went round the same sort of thought processes about whether I was done after each MC. It's difficult feeling like your family isn't complete when many people would be perfectly happy with two healthy children. If you are struggling to have a first child that is pretty straightforwardly crap and nobody would disagree! If it helps at all I was absolutely certain after having DD that I'm done now, nothing to do with not wanting to go through it again, though I don't, just a feeling that my family is now how it was meant to be. I'm sure there does come a point where you have to step away from TTC for your own sanity and say that's enough, but I had quite a few "one last tries" it is a tough dream to let go.

My DH was congratulated on his lovely granddaughter the other day and he's not 40 yet.

As mentioned on previous thread, this is what I referred to on Wikipedia saying that having a baby boy might cause your body to reject a male fetus in the future:

Male-specific minor histocompatibility[edit]

Immunization of mothers against male-specific minor histocompatibility (H-Y) antigens has a pathogenic role in many cases of secondary recurrent miscarriage, that is, recurrent miscarriage in pregnancies succeeding a previous live birth. An example of this effect is that the male:female ratio of children born prior and subsequent to secondary recurrent miscarriage is 1.49 and 0.76 respectively.

And more detail here: humupd.oxfordjournals.org/content/17/4/558.full

I know my last m/c was a boy, so could make sense. But would be quite unlikely that previous three miscarriages were all male as well.

Bakingtins, 40 would be a young dad in our area - tee hee! When I told midwife that it was too late to try again she did say 47 was not that old for a dad but might be if that was my age... we'll see!

Loopy just read your earlier post, everything crossed for you
x x x

I finished the biscuits - firstly, love the name, secondly...selfish because your hubby is 47????!!!!! - Let me tell you (putting down the wine glass and snapping fingers) my husband is 49, 50 in october, and i dont care if he is 70 - he made me wait 8 years to get married and even then took another year to convince him to have children by which point i was 37. And as the world and his wife suspected, he is a loving and attentive daddy, but i cant help but feel resentment. If he hadn't made me wait so long i wouldnt be in this situation - so he can bolly well keep donating 'til i say stop!...And breath...

By the way lovely female gp was a superstar, referred me straight away. Actually felt like she might have heard similar tales from other ladies about my now previous consultant
Xxx

flower baking has described it perfectly. I couldn't explain it as eloquently! They counted down from 10 when they took the sample and it felt like an intense cramp which eased off pretty quickly when they finished.

Seems like yesterday I was writing this:

34, dh 32, Ds 2 yes old no problems conceiving
Trying for dc2 since Oct 13
Mc 1 @ 9wks end April 14 natural. Saw heartbeat at 7 weeks
Mc 2 @ almost 12wks Nov 14. Erpc.
Gp did some basic bloods after mc2 which came back fine.
Been debating what to do next because i don't qualify for an nhs referral. Been to Coventry today. Finally feel like I've taken a little control. Or something

freckle good news about the lovely gp

biscuits and brummie as we all know people are living longer these days and therefore are much fitter and able in their 60s,70s,80s etc.
what I'd say is...you can't change your partners age, you're not going to give up on having your baby, if yours partners are healthyish and exercise a bit the chances are they will still be running round in their 70s, not that they'd need to by then.
And also, in the first few years when kids are most tiring, it's the bloody mother that does most of the work, like night feeds/breastfeeding, nappy changes, etc etc.

freckle love your straight talking! Glad your lovely gp got you sorted too!

brummie have you tried opk yet? Have a tonight and try not to get too upset.

biscuits and baking people do talk shite don't they?! Don't take any notice of those comments from imbeciles!

baking and diddly thanks, I'll take some drugs beforehand but think I'll be ok with a cramp pain. It's the speculums I hate. They look like something out of a horror film and that metallic noise when they tighten it, aarrggghh!! They are usually quite uncomfortable for me (I think more so because my uterus is slightly tilted) but I'm sure they are pros so that will help. How long does the biopsy take all together?

freckle I’m still under the care of Leeds rcm clinic and they've been very helpful, especially after the most recent loss. You must be in the same area as me - have you also considered Liverpool? I’m getting their advice as well as I figure it never hurts to get a second (or third, or fourth!) opinion. They’ve also been very lovely and extremely efficient.

jady congrats on handing in your notice. I’ll be there with you in May. Eek!

diddly Coventry sounds really positive and it’s renewed my determination to get there (despite the journey!) and hopefully will help others on here to make their minds up as well. It's so tricky to know what to do.

longest hang in there til the scan. It will be ok. You’re so nearly there.

loopy so sorry and will have fingers crossed for tomorrow’s test.

Hello to everybody else. Hope you’re all on the ladies. It’s Friday!