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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

mmc...totally lost

170 replies

brickiemum2 · 29/01/2015 14:14

This is probably covered in other threads so apologies, but I don't have the strength to read them right now.
I went for an early reassurance scan this morning due to a couple of previous very early losses. On those occasions I always knew something was wrong as bfp' s were weak and symptoms non existent. This time I've had the strongest symptoms I've ever had, even compared to my two pregnancies that resulted in my children. Unfortunately I have a sac measuring 7 weeks (my days put me at 7w3d) a yolk sac but no fetal pole at all. Totally empty.
I still feel so pregnant though and my symptoms are strong.
How long can I expect to still feel like this and any idea when my body will realize there is no baby and let it go?
I'm finding this so so hard compared to my spontaneous mc' s.
Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
brickiemum2 · 20/02/2015 19:44

Good luck for tomorrow stoaty xxx

I hope there is no time you're supposed to wait to dtd, we did 3 days after surgery Blush

My youngest was conceived 2 weeks after a mc with no period in between. Doesn't look like that will work this time as 8 days after surgery I'm still getting a very strong bfp Sad

OP posts:
Lauramum23 · 20/02/2015 20:02

Oh right so I should be good to go then!? I'm (also my dh )getting desperateSmile, well I think we have kind of agreed to wait for a period it's kind of hard to be sensible when I want to be pregnant so much tho!

I'd just read somewhere to wait 2 weeks after a miscarriage, nothing put up there ie a willy/ finger lol, but then I thought they do vaginal scans??
Anyway i can't wait much longer Grin
And I think bleeding has stopped now just a little over a week, the worst of it came out last Saturday/Sunday, I hope it's all done with now and I will get the all clear on Thursday.

Lauramum23 · 20/02/2015 20:06

Brickie when u conceived your youngest after a mc did you get a negative hpt then? If so when ( if you can remember) and was your pregnancy straight forward, did the scan you for dates etc

Sams23 · 20/02/2015 20:35

Yeah I think it will be fine tbh as long as you feel ready and not sore or anything It will be fine! I know and I hate the thought of going back and using contraception just seems wrong when I do want to be pregnant again just so scared! I haven't done another test yet the doctors said I should be fine to not test. Aren't you supposed to be really fertile at this time too?

Lauramum23 · 20/02/2015 21:17

I've heard that also ( bout fertility ) but it only took one month of trying this time anyway, same with 2 of my children 1 took about 2 months of ttc so I'm not particularly worried about that- you watch it will take bloody months I bet now I've said that! I also hate condoms too but what can ya do!? Smile

Sams23 · 20/02/2015 22:37

Ha ha it takes us a little while our first was about a year this one only 5months hopefully next time will be quick!! Me too but don't want to Rush want to feel totally ready

Lauramum23 · 21/02/2015 09:16

Bleeding is totally finished now which is good, so when would I expect a period, ie when do I count from? Bleeding start or finish?
Btw the deed was done and it was fine quick but fine lol Grin normal service should resume now once we get back into it!

Stoaty how are you today x

Original poster
brickiemum2 · 21/02/2015 11:02

When I had the mc before conceiving dd it was a spontaneous one. I didn't do an hpt after that as I was getting blood taken to monitor hcg and they showed a zero result about a week after mc. I then got a positive opk 12 days after mc, ov'd on day 14 and positive hpt 28 days after mc.

I'm currently 9 days after MVA/erpc and still getting a strong positive on hpt.

OP posts:
gingerbreadmam · 21/02/2015 11:12

just thought id pop in to give you girls some good news. i discovered mmc 6 november 2014. due to hospital protocols the process wasnt over until 14 december 2014 when i ended up with an emergency erpc. it hit me vey hard. to the outside i probably seemed fine, inside i never knew if id feel normal again. i started counselling.

28days after erpc af came, we waited for that as advised then ttc. i got my bfp over 2 weeks ago.

its a quick turnaround, feel like ive been pregnant so long now Grin it can happen tho! currently 5+5 today which is 1 day passed when things stopped progressing last time. hope u r all ok Thanks

Lauramum23 · 21/02/2015 13:10

Gingerbread man I followed your other thread it's fantastic news! Really happy for you x Smile

gingerbreadmam · 21/02/2015 13:18

thanks laura just thought i would share as those days after mmc can be quite dark. you will move forward though.

i will keep my fingers tightly crossed for those of you that are going to try again.

i found an amazing thread started by someone going through similar when my mmc was going on and if one good thing can come from this it is the support and care you can give to others who find themselves in our situations. i dont know how i would have got through it without the support on mumsnet and the info available in the real world is so limited and not really true to life.

Sams23 · 21/02/2015 13:36

Yes I totally agree I've found so much info from people in the same situation really keeps me going talking to others who know how it feels it can be really lonely time even though I have so many people around its hard when they all carry on with normal life! Fantastic news gingerbreadmam that is really quick turn around I kind of want that to happen to ah I'm just so worried!! You will have to keep us updated hope it all goes well for you I hate the fact next time you don't get any earlier scans etc I will be so worried I had a blighted ovum so literally just a sac and nothing grew which now to think there wasn't even a baby is horrible Sad

gingerbreadmam · 21/02/2015 14:29

oh you poor thing.

my hospital werent really very good at telling me what was and wasnt there. i know they said it stopped at 5+4 and sac kept growing i think so that was the right size for dates at the scan i had at 9wks.

i went thru it all, waiting for mc naturally, failed medical management, haemoraghing on 3 occasions follwed by emergency erpc. i was petrified of hospitals at the start of it all so it kind of helped me get over that a little bit!

it is only this new bfp that is really getting me passed it all and thats probably only because it is a distraction. its amazing being pregnant again but completely different to the first time. i find it a little bit reassuring tho in a way.

Lauramum23 · 21/02/2015 14:36

I had the same Sam Hmm it's upsetting isn't it, but the way I think about it is, the baby probably was so poorly it wouldn't have made it.
It was weird because of no embryo I felt like I'd made it all up! But i didn't there was a pregnancy there. It's all the baby dreams I find upsetting!
And my daughter had told a lot of her friends even tho I told her not to, and I've just took her to a party and a mum congratulated me! To which I had to explain- gutting. They wouldn't have even known if my son hadn't have been poking about on my phone, well I have learned a hard lesson -i am keeping it to myself till 12 week scan next time!

Lauramum23 · 21/02/2015 15:08

Just had a little cry! Think I needed too I've only cried once since the bleeding started, I'm trying to put a brave face on it which will only last for so long!
My dh hasn't been all that supportive really, he doesn't know what to say. Oh well I must soldier on I suppose Smile

gingerbreadmam · 21/02/2015 15:43

laura cry as much as you need to. i often felt better after a cry. when u got a bfp u were always going to envisage a baby at the end. the scientifics of it dont really matter. you thought u were going to have a baby and now you are not. thats a lot to deal with.

just take your time and be upset. dont worry about other people knowing, u may be able to get support from elsewhere if not frm ur dp. fwiw my dp wasnt much support either he didnt really understand.

counselling really helps if you can sort that out?

Sams23 · 21/02/2015 18:44

Yep Im the same the first week all I did was cry then I couldn't cry at all just felt anger I feel a little better after a good cry nice to
Let it all out. I felt the same Laura completley the wrong thing to feel but I feel so silly sometimes that you make all these plans feelings etc but nothing even grew but your right gingerbreadmam it doesn't matter to us it was still our baby. Sounds like you had a really horrific time gingerbreadmam did you opt originally to see if it would pass naturally? I also found it really hard with my partner how he didn't seem sad all the time but he was very supportive and still is I guess they just deal with it in different ways.

gingerbreadmam · 21/02/2015 18:51

my hospital told me there new protocol was to let it happen naturally as there are less chance of future complications if u did.

i waited 2 wks between scans (2nd to confirm mmc) then 2 wks to mc naturally then had medical management at home.

haemorraged on tuesday pm, thursday pm (at work, thought what happened tuesday was actually mc) then again saturday pm. admitted to hospital thursday had countless internals and trying to remove with forceps then admitted again saturday with emergency erpc about 10pm sunday night.

not that it matters how it happens really the emotional aspect is the same just might explain why i felt so traumatised and resorted to counselling. its almost forgotten about now i am pg again helps that my memory is crap.

as i say was always a baby that we were all looking forward to and you have a right to grieve for that.

Sams23 · 21/02/2015 19:03

My god you really had a horrific time I can completley understand why you feel so traumatised after that I only had to have 2 internal scans before I had the operation and by that point I had had enough of being touched etc just wanted to be left alone so I can't even imagine what you went through Flowers

Lauramum23 · 21/02/2015 22:09

God that sounds bloody awful! I suppose I should think myself lucky for bleeding, the midwife did say because I'd had 3 children my cervix wouldn't take much pressure and should get rid of it all pretty easy!? Maybe that has something to do with it? Anyway it's all bloody awful isn't it and I hope we don't have to go through it again! And I hope with everything after the scan on Thursday I can get signed off and draw a bloody line under it.
I did have a bit more spotting tonight after I thought it had stopped!?

Lauramum23 · 22/02/2015 11:01

Right girls got some cheap pregnancy tests the ones which are just strips with no plastic around just done one and it was negative! Should I take that as a definate result?

gingerbreadmam · 22/02/2015 11:06

like u both say itd awful whatever way it happens i dont think im any worse off than anyone else tbh just one of them things. was relieved when it was all over!

when did it happen laura? the hospital advised me to wait 2 - 3 weeks after erpc to get a negative result.

was the strip completely clear and did u check a little while later just incase? the only reason i ask is when i got my bfp this time i used lots of different tests including the strips and even when i was late for af the tests that were supposed to be sensitive only showed very feint.

Lauramum23 · 22/02/2015 11:52

I tested about 3 days after miscarriage and it was still quite strong positive tested again 4 days after that very faint positive so today's result will be 10 days after mc

gingerbreadmam · 22/02/2015 11:54

if you cant see anything at all i would assume it is a negative.

are you hoping to try again?

Lauramum23 · 22/02/2015 16:52

Yes, but I should wait for period first x