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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

mmc...totally lost

170 replies

brickiemum2 · 29/01/2015 14:14

This is probably covered in other threads so apologies, but I don't have the strength to read them right now.
I went for an early reassurance scan this morning due to a couple of previous very early losses. On those occasions I always knew something was wrong as bfp' s were weak and symptoms non existent. This time I've had the strongest symptoms I've ever had, even compared to my two pregnancies that resulted in my children. Unfortunately I have a sac measuring 7 weeks (my days put me at 7w3d) a yolk sac but no fetal pole at all. Totally empty.
I still feel so pregnant though and my symptoms are strong.
How long can I expect to still feel like this and any idea when my body will realize there is no baby and let it go?
I'm finding this so so hard compared to my spontaneous mc' s.
Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
brickiemum2 · 13/02/2015 16:23

I was in hospital this morning and had the MVA (a bit like a d&c but local anaesthetic into the cervix) so I no longer have a pregnancy sac inside me Sad Like you I generally accept that it just wasn't meant to be but it's been a rough day.
So sorry to see you here too, I'd hoped that everyone from Sept had passed the danger zoneSad
It does sound like you're going to mc by yourself if things are developing and gaining pace...that's what happened with my first mc.
I did start bleeding on Monday but although it was heavy it was very dark old blood and there weren't many cramps. When I was scanned yesterday and this morning there were no signs of it coming away.
Have a look at the practical tips thread here....invaluable.

OP posts:
Original poster
brickiemum2 · 13/02/2015 16:26

Sam....that's how I felt too and I'm so glad it's over now. I feel free to leave the house (when I'm ready) as I'm no longer worried about the main event happening on the school run. I've been talked through the various options to deal with it and I've now had a natural mc and the MVA at this stage of pregnancy so if you want to ask anything go ahead.

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Lauramum23 · 13/02/2015 22:10

Hi brickie hope you are feeling a little better, I'm going to treat myself to some wine tomorrow I think!
I was due 29th September so I was one of the late ones.
Had some bad painful cramps right nasty sharp pains in my back rather similar to labour pains actually ( although labour is obviously worse) a few small clots came out but I think cramps might be starting again so maybe more will come out.
I'm here to chat if you want x

Original poster
brickiemum2 · 13/02/2015 22:16

I think you know when the sac passes, it's not like clots. Make sure you're booked in for scans at epau/epas to monitor whether the sac has passed. Also look out for signs of infection....temp, shivering, sweats, constant pain, foul smell etc.
Although the procedure I've just had wasn't a picnic at least it's done, I'm no longer even bleeding so I feel like I'm safely on the other side.

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Lauramum23 · 13/02/2015 22:25

Ok, she said if I have big bleed then I can get the scan done in my town then at least I don't have to mess about on Friday with the kids, she said it will probably be in 2 weeks ish tho. I have felt really shit before I started bleeding really washed out and quite shivery I don't feel like that now tho but I will keep an eye on it.

Stoatystoat · 18/02/2015 17:21

It is with great sadness that I join you here. Scan today identified a MMC.

Original poster
brickiemum2 · 18/02/2015 17:26

Flowers stoaty it's a horrible horrible experience.

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Stoatystoat · 18/02/2015 17:29

I'm so scared about the physical side of it. I have to decide how to manage it. Don't think I can cope with surgical. I'm just so scared about passing anything.

Original poster
brickiemum2 · 18/02/2015 17:39

Is it your first pregnancy or do you have children? I think that's relevant when deciding. X

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Stoatystoat · 18/02/2015 17:53

First pregnancy brickie

Thankyou for replying, it's kind of you, I feel really lonely.

It's a MMC. I should be 8 weeks but they say it looks more like 5 - yolk and sac, no foetal pole. I think. They should write it down and give it to you, it's hard to know when you're in a daze,

How are you doing?

Original poster
brickiemum2 · 18/02/2015 18:15

Are they sticking to the protocol that you need to be rescanned in two weeks just to check it's not a dating issue? They did with me but I knew my dates so I knew what was going to happen Sad
Your options are...expectant, ie leave it to nature. It may take some time though and in the mean time you feel scared it may start any minute
Medical...successful for around 7 out of 10 women on the first go but can be painful if you haven't delivered a baby before.
Surgical which can either be under general or local. I opted for local as it avoids ga risk and you can walk out almost straight afterwards BUT I've had two quite large babies before and I still found it to be a difficult thing to experience. Obviously with ga you don't really experience as much of it.

OP posts:
Stoatystoat · 18/02/2015 18:20

They aren't rescanning me - but today was my 2nd scan so maybe that's why. The care I have received has been diabolical so I have no confidence in them and intend to make a complaint.

Original poster
brickiemum2 · 19/02/2015 07:11

Ah, did you get two scans a week apart or something then? Have they given you an idea of which option you would prefer and when that would happen?

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Sams23 · 19/02/2015 09:50

I went for my 2nd scan over a week ago now and showed still a sac but nothing in there I had the Erpc I think it's called where you have a general anestetic I was so scared and felt horrendous they admitted me the same day and had the op later that day was out of hospital within hours felt all so quick but I feel much better now I can move on I'm back to work tomorrow after 3 weeks off (only work part time) and I feel so sad that it feels like that's finally it its all over now Sad reality is shit!

Sams23 · 19/02/2015 09:57

They only really gave me the option of the Erpc (because I wanted it asap) and passing it naturally I couldn't wait any longer I would have preferred for it to be natural but it felt as though I couldn't move on until it was all gone still bleeding now Im hoping it won't carry on for much longer!

Sams23 · 19/02/2015 10:00

And I completley agree with you stoatystoat they should write it all down for you I couldn't remember a thing they had told me all felt very vague so sorry to hear you've have such bad care that's the one thing that got me through it was the nurses on the ward were amazing so kind and caring x

Stoatystoat · 19/02/2015 11:30

Yes two scans a week apart. I can have either this weekend if I let them know tomorrow.

Original poster
brickiemum2 · 19/02/2015 12:09

Do you have any instinct about what you want to do?

OP posts:
Stoatystoat · 19/02/2015 12:46

Medical I think.

Sams23 · 19/02/2015 16:31

Good luck hope all goes well life really is cruel sometimes Sad

Lauramum23 · 20/02/2015 09:30

How are you feeling girls? We should stick together and see how we get on. Stoaty have you decided what to do?
My bleeding is all about finished now a week and 2 days since the first spot, but I did a hpt and it's faintly positive ( faintest it's been in ages ) so ill do another in a week. My scan is also booked on Thursday. The woman said drink lots before hand as she will do abdominal first (?!) I said I don't think she will there's nowt there! And then she will do a vaginal one- I am not making myself uncomfortable with lots of water for feck allShock
Where do I get cheap pg tests from , I can get them from pound shop but do people buy in bulk?
I'm eager to try again but I will wait for period.
In fact I'm eager to just have sex I keep having fruity dreams Wink but I don't know when I should obviously don't want to get an infection to top it all off!

Stoatystoat · 20/02/2015 10:31

Hi laura.

I'm booked to have my medical management tomorrow. I'm so nervous.

I'm up and down. I cry a fair bit but feel ok about doing that. I'm also feeling quite peaceful. I had three weeks of spotting so it's felt like it's been hanging in the balance and anxiety has been through the roof. I felt like my little mite was clinging on & in my heart, I thought if it was wavering, it should go. I don't want a baby that would know pain.

Don't get me wrong, I am hurting. I wanted and loved this baby. But I am thankful to have been blessed with the short time it was there. DH and I have some memories that we will never forget, it's made us closer than ever. Baby, I am thankful for you. I just wished I could have met you

Sams23 · 20/02/2015 13:59

Good luck for tomorrow I am up and down too I'm really struggling it's nice to talk to people who really understand how it feels. First day back at work today and it was horrible I need to find somewhere new as wasn't happy before now it's even worse! I'm unsure whether to try again straight away I want to but so scared of a repeat of this!

Lauramum23 · 20/02/2015 15:56

Good luck for tomorrow stoaty x
Sam I know what you mean I'm scared as well because I have 3 children already this was my first miscarriage I feel as tho we are tempting fate wanting another and being greedy! But I just think there's so many mums that have 4 or more and they are fine . And just because we have had a miscarriage doesn't mean we will have another. Are you waiting for a period Sam or just going for it? When was you told you could have sex again- no doctor/midwife has told me! I'll have to ring and askShock

Sams23 · 20/02/2015 17:24

Yes I have one child I feel like I don't want to go through this again so that puts me off hopefully this was a one off! Yes they said I could go straight away if I wanted to but they advise to wait until first period before trying again just so you are aware of your dates. I think we are going to wait a little while maybe not try but not be careful either lol! How about you?