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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 16 - tests, treatment and trying again

986 replies

Justonemoretime · 18/01/2015 07:46

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

OP posts:
charlieis30 · 19/01/2015 08:39

Hi team, dropping in to mark my place
TTC since Oct 2013
MC1 Feb 14 @ 7.5w, baby only 5.4, natural mc
MC2 Aug 14 found out there were probs at 8w priv scan, ERPC 10w, paid privately for chromosome analysis showed trisomy 15 (v rare apparently!)
After that one took lots of vitamins, coQ10, multi; extra fish oil, extra folic. DH took zinc. Had acupuncture (both of us) regularly and counselling.
Currently preg, just hit 13w with baby looking good at 12w scan. Now just trying to enjoy it.

Marchgirl · 19/01/2015 08:45

I know what you mean about reading All the sad stories again, but please don't ever feel like a fraud monten. Your losses are no less important than anyone else's and I think it can be very destructive to 'downgrade' your grief compared to others. I did this with no1 and consequently didn't deal with it properly emotionally until much later.
It just makes it harder that nobody likes to talk about things. Hugs to you Flowers

Sunandrainbow · 19/01/2015 08:47

With you on that one monten. My dad actually sent me an email and said he promised never to mention 'it' again! Why???? Does he really think just because he doesn't mention it, I will suddenly forget that I have lost 3 babies?! Ggrrrr!!

Sunandrainbow · 19/01/2015 08:49

Ps. Best of luck for the scan tiny

Belleende · 19/01/2015 08:52

Having a wobbly day today. Yesterday had a great morning. For the first time I could poke bump and feel movement both internally and through my skin. This am, no movement I can feel. Did find heartbeat but it seemed slower than before. 19 weeks today. Please tell me I am being neurotic.

TinyTear · 19/01/2015 08:54

Belle I havent' felt anything regularly until 23/24 weeks!

try a large glass of ice water and lie on your left if you have time, or chocolate... that sometimes helps

Sunandrainbow · 19/01/2015 08:57

belleende - Am sure everything is fine, but if you are worried, could you phone midwife and ask them to have a listen, to reassure you? Lots of hugs X

Belleende · 19/01/2015 08:58

Good luck for your scan today! Are yoy going to find out the flavour?
I know most probably being neurotic, I had such a good show yesterday, so probably freaking over nowt.

TinyTear · 19/01/2015 09:08

i know the flavour, girlie!!
as i had the Harmony, I asked them to check... this is a growth scan at 28w as I am under consultant care, I get extra

Me2Me2 · 19/01/2015 09:11

Hello ladies, I was on thread 14 and read parts of 15 so thought Id join this one, if that's ok. 2 mcs this year - sept & dec. Both early.
Question on rasberry leaf tea. How much and are you stopping at ovulation? Anything else recommended for lining?

Brummiegirl15 · 19/01/2015 09:22

I've got my own sad news today. Our family cat is very poorly and sadly not going to survive.

Because I've only been with DP for 2.5 years and was single for such a long time before that I will still very much part of my family (as opposed to having my own if that makes sense) so he is very much our cat if that makes sense.

Anyway he dragged himself into the house Friday morning about 4am and dragged himself upstairs with his front paw all floppy. My parents thought he'd been hit by a car. Turns out a massive blood clot had developed. We thought he'd need to have his front leg amputated but that he would survive.

He seemed to improve over weekend and the vet gave him aspirin and oxygen and slowly the pulse started returning in his paw.

Heard from my parents this morning and the vet has said more clots have developed including one to his brain and another on his lung. He is deteriorating rapidly. My parents are on they way to say goodbye to him before he goes to sleep one last time.

Am devastated. I was a typical boomerang daughter and lived and worked in London at the time. Because I hated London so much I was back living at my parents before moving to Midlands and after I'd been let down again by a twat of a bloke (there were a few in my single years) I could always count on pussycat cuddles.

What a shitty shitty start to 2015. Mc number 3 and now this.

Flower29 · 19/01/2015 09:44

Sorry about your kitty brummie Flowers
belleende (love the name) is it your own Doppler you're using? I only ask as Ive heard midwives aren't keen on people using them unless 'properly trained' and prefer people to 'count the kicks' instead (so go on movements). I've never used one do I don't know, might be just midwives being midwives but I would call yours and explain and hopefully they will have a listen to put your mind at rest. Regarding the movement you mentioned tho, I think I was about 20 wks when I started feeling my little boy and as tiny mentioned, I can't recall there being regular movements til later on. I think in the first couple of weeks I may have only felt it a few random times a day(although at first I wasn't sure if it was just gas!) Blush

Flower29 · 19/01/2015 09:57

monten and sun I agree. One of the things that makes me so angry and upset is people 'forgetting' what has happened to me and thinking it's acceptable to act like nothing's happened. And people using the excuse of not knowing what to say is bullshit, how about 'I'm sorry' for a fucking start. Angry

mrsdiddlydoo · 19/01/2015 10:01

monten totally feel the 'unspoken friend' thing. It's what I find hardest on my wobbliest of days.

Sorry about your cat brummie. Flowers

Wondering if I should invest in a wider range of vitamins and supplements. I find it all so confusing I usually resort to shoving my head in the sand.

Hope the socks are keeping your toes snug tiny. Good luck with the scan.

Marchgirl · 19/01/2015 10:21

Sorry to hear about your cat brummie. Such a hard time you're having at the moment SadFlowers

Brummiegirl15 · 19/01/2015 10:23

I agree with the unspoken bit too. Then when you dare to mention it, people get really defensive with you

Me2Me2 · 19/01/2015 10:27

Sorry about your cat brummie

Brummiegirl15 · 19/01/2015 10:33

Thanks all. Just heard from my Mum. He's gone to sleep one last time.

Devastated. We are a real cat family.
All we've known since new year is sadness. Sad

longestlurkerever · 19/01/2015 10:43

So sorry Brummie. I really hope 2015 starts to look up for you soon. For me it was 2014 that started awfully, but ended on a high, so I will keep my fingers crossed that 2015 turns into your year after all.

Good luck Tiny!

Belle Just to echo what others have said. I am 21 weeks now but still movements are not constant and I go through some very quiet days. I think it depends which way the baby is facing.

Flen · 19/01/2015 12:23

monten, sun and flower, it's funny you should say that as I have had that in mind as my next post.

brummie I am so sorry to hear that. We lost our cat three months ago, just three days before mc3, it was heart-breaking. And it just so happens that it looks like my family cat will also be put to sleep this week. They mean so much to us and it is so painful to lose them.

cloudjumper · 19/01/2015 13:10

burmmie So sorry about your cat. They are part of the family, regardless whether you still live with them or have moved away, they just belong. I hope you can take some comfort in the fact that he was spared unnecessary suffering and died knowing he was loved Flowers

belle I am sure everything is fine (this is probably the reason why HCPs are not keen on us having Dopplers at home), but if you are worried, speak to your midwife! They would much rather check you over one time too many than one too less (not sure that makes sense grammatically, but I hope you know what you mean). I think with our history, no one can say that we shouldn't be worried...

monten I had the same thing with my family over Christmas - no one asked how I was or felt, no one mentioned the mc. I know that they are not as aware of it all, we all live apart and I tend to give the impression that everything is OK, but it still hurts Sad

Flower29 · 19/01/2015 13:11

flen I started reading some of your blog and looking forward to reading it from no1 onwards this afternoon. It's good to read someone else's thoughts and know I'm not alone. I also feel like forwarding it to a few people who just don't understand.

AndCounting · 19/01/2015 13:20

My stats:

DH and I are 33

1st pregnancy was successful DS was 4 at the weekend (I spoke like a pirate for a whole day to celebrate)
MC #1 Oct 2012
MC #2 Aug 2013
MC #3 Nov 2013
MC #4 Mar 2014
MC #5 Dec 2014

I bounced back fine from the first 3 (relentless optimist). #4 knocked me over and I was off work for 8 weeks with anxiety. I spent the summer and the autumn trying to 'rebuild'. Miscarried again over Christmas, am now off work again.

Spent last year crawling though the tests of our local RMC. They found nothing.

I went to Bristol last week to be tested for the TABLET trial (it's on the miscarriage association web I site) was tested for thyroid anitibodies. Get the results tomorrow. We plan to go to the clinic at Coventry next month. Pursuing an NHS referral to St Marys but as I live in Wales (complex referral process Wales-England) this will happen in 100 years or never(by which time Coventry will have fixed me and I will have twins, ALL of us will have had twins- told you I'm relentless).

baking sorry to hear your news, sending you warm thoughts
brummie sorry to hear about your cat

TinyTear · 19/01/2015 13:23

Growth scan fine! Lucky socks strike again Grin

Catlover2014 · 19/01/2015 13:25

Really sorry to read about your cat Brummie. As you can guess from my mn name I love them and they are a much loved part of the family Flowers

Has anyone heard any news on baking? I was thinking about her all night. Hope little Faith is ok.

I just had my 16 week midwife appointment. Heard a strong heartbeat and my blood tests all came back fine including low risk for down syndrome. Couldn't have nuchal scan as went too late but as bloods are low I'm not going to bother with the Harmony test, can't really afford it after all the money we've spent on fertility treatment.