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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 16 - tests, treatment and trying again

986 replies

Justonemoretime · 18/01/2015 07:46

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

OP posts:
TinyTear · 20/01/2015 08:23

baking hope you get all the appointments soon and they don't clash and that the prognosis will be better than you think. I don't want to sound trite, but it's hard to say thing that don't sound too cliched

You are a strong woman and you have given us all here so much support, do feel free to come here and rant and we will always be a listening ear, even if we can't do more practical help

bootles · 20/01/2015 08:32

baking I don't know what to say either. I did some reading on infantile spasms to get a bit more understanding of it, and understand that finding the underlying cause will tell you more about her future. It is so hideously unfair that you and your family are all having to go through this.

I absolutely agree with Tanny who put things so beautifully. You and DH will manage and cope, with whatever the future holds, but things must be dreadfully hard right now. Sending you all my thoughts, strength and hugs xx

Flower29 · 20/01/2015 08:47

Be kind to yourself bootles and don't feel embarrassed about crying in front of colleagues, it's only natural after what you've been through. X

girliesaints · 20/01/2015 09:05

Baking, I can only echo the other ladies words on here. The next few days and weeks I imagine will be challenging so pleased dip in here as and when you need x

Bootles- hope today is a better day. It is still fairly early since the last
MC so please give yourself a time. As the saying goes "time is a healer" but it does goes very slowly.

cloudjumper · 20/01/2015 09:10

bootles Your colleague probably meant to be nice, but clearly missed that goal by about a mile... Try to ignore - any chance you can work from home, maybe? Or find a room for a couple for hours, where you can work on your own? I have done this in the past at work - booked myself into a meeting room for a few hours to be able to close the door and just be on my own for a while...

baking I cannot begin to imagine how you must feel like... Just when you think you're in the clear, after all you have been through, life hits you again around the ears! Really hope you are holding up, one way or another. I hope the NHS won't fail you and that you get all the appointments quickly and without any clashes. The waiting is probably the worst, and there isn't anything you can do right now... Wishing you, Mr Baking and baby Faith lots of strength. Thinking of you xxx

bootles · 20/01/2015 09:27

Thanks everyone. Thinking about baking dealing with work seems easier. I only do 2 days a week at the moment, as I am doing a course one day a week, so that definitely helps, as there is no place to hide in my job.

Me2Me2 · 20/01/2015 09:36

baking I am so sorry and hope you get answers and your daughter gets the treatment she needs quickly.

Loopyaboutmy2boys · 20/01/2015 11:31

Brummie, sorry about your cat and baking I hope you get some answers re your daughter soon and that she can soon be back to good health.

So I found a clear blue test whilst unpacking some of our house move boxes, so POAS and now looking at the words Not Pregnant, so I did lose it last week like it thought, and there is no hope for the scan tomorrow. Should I still go to make sure it's a complete miscarriage? Will they still log it into the system if I don't go? Feels daft going knowing that there is no longer a baby, when I spoke to the EPAU last week and told them I was bleeding they said to still go to the scan.

Catlover2014 · 20/01/2015 12:15

Baking so sorry to hear your update can't imagine how you must feel. I hope you hear more encoraging news soon Flowers

My younger cousin has an ongoing condition that started from birth. My aunty was told she would be brain dead and unable to achieve but she is now 26 and is sporty, capable and intellegent with a good life.

Hugs xxxx

Catlover2014 · 20/01/2015 12:17

Loopy I'm sorry that the test showed as negative, it's heartbreaking after having a positive and all the hope that goes with it. If you can face it I would still go to EPU to be checked out and have a scan to make sure you're ok. Hugs xxx

TinyTear · 20/01/2015 12:58

i would get checked to make sure nothing is retained that may cause an infection and also to log it in the system as itr may help get more tests sooner

Marchgirl · 20/01/2015 13:07

Sorry to hear that loopy Sad
I agree with the others, if you can bear it, Best to get scanned and documented and maybe you can ask about getting some testing if they might consider it

cloudjumper · 20/01/2015 13:58

loopy Is there any chance the test might be out of date...? Just wondering. I agree with what the others have said, I would go for the scan, at least then you will get a definite answer what is going on.

longestlurkerever · 20/01/2015 14:25

No one will make you feel silly for going loopy. They will want to do a scan to make sure all is well. I am sorry for your loss. It must have been hard to see those words.

Bootles that is a horrible thing for your colleague to say. Why are people such idiots? Can you reach out to RMC colleague? She could be a source of support.

Brummiegirl15 · 20/01/2015 15:19

Baking thinking about you and Faith x Flowers

Marchgirl · 20/01/2015 15:30

For my second one loopy, I had bad scan but they needed me to come back for another scan to confirm in a week. In the meantime I passed the pregnancy but still went back for the scan to make sure it was all gone. I was a bit unsure about going back but they didn't make me feel silly or anything and I was glad i went as it helped me with closure mentally to see it was gone. (I know not everyone likes to see it,but I needed to)

barkingtreefrog · 20/01/2015 16:04

loopy I was the same as March, had a bad scan where it was clear it was all over, but still had to go back to check it had gone (and it hadn't, so had to go back again. And again).

Original poster
Justonemoretime · 20/01/2015 16:47

Loopy, sorry things are looking like they're over this time. I agree with what's already been said, go for the scan just to check everything is complete as this will enable you to make informed decisions about what you want to do next. Its also important that this has been officially recorded so that you can get closer to referrals. Hugs to you, its tough to make the trips where you already know what the outcome is.

OP posts:
bootles · 20/01/2015 17:08

loopy I am so sorry that this looks like another mc. I agree you should go for the scan if you can. Hugs to you.

Just in case my post wasn't clear..what I meant was: thinking about baking and what her family are going through, reminds me that dealing with work is very do-able. I worry sometimes that what I have posted isn't obvious.

(Really appreciate the support and comments though - knowing you guys understand makes all the difference)

longest I have considered approaching the RMC colleague, but she has never said anything specific to me herself, and we don't often work together. I will have it in my head though.

By the way I am appalled that you had such a long meeting with no water allowed - is that a security issue?! Cant they have jugs of water on the table? Poor you!.

longestlurkerever · 20/01/2015 17:12

God knows bootles - is just a silly rule like having to wear a jacket, and referring to the House of Commons as "another place", I think!

Brummiegirl15 · 20/01/2015 17:26

Ooh Lurker I'm intrigued to know what you do now !!!

I was a bit confused by water as a security issue???

Marchgirl · 20/01/2015 17:48

I have a v trivial question. Bought some ic opks (one step brand) (and also hpts, although obv not using them yet) and it says i have to wait til "the urine and test are both at room temperature (20 mins)". Does it really mean it, or can i actually use it straight away. Not that keen on having a pot of pee sitting around waiting to go cold!

barkingtreefrog · 20/01/2015 18:07

I have never waited March!! Didn't even realise you were supposed to!! Are they the very thin strip ones in the white packets with green writing? If so, I've never had a problem Grin.

Original poster
Justonemoretime · 20/01/2015 18:07

March, I never bothered to leave it to cool. Either dh would have knocked it over or one if the cats would have drunk it. I'm sure you'll be fine. I never got a strong result off those, but it was always obvious when a strong-ish line was developing, as opposed to an evap line or a very weak result as they came up quite quickly as opposed to coming back to the test after 5 mins. Good luck! Wink

OP posts:
Jady77 · 20/01/2015 18:18

Hi all, hoping it's ok to join you. Found these threads after searching for RUH Bath and subsequently stalking TannyLoo.
Have a bit of thread blindness from reading them literally all day, but wishing you all the best esp. Baker and little Faith.
And Loopy, really sorry it's looking like another MC

So sorry about your cat too Brummie. I lost a cat last year and still feel the loss keenly.

My history:
Age 37, DH 45.
MC1: Oct 2014. Scan at 6 weeks. Natural MC followed same day
MC2: Jan 2015. Saw heartbeat NYE, but slow & measuring 6W2D. Confirmed MC 07/01/15. ERPC 12/01/15.

Referred for RMC at Bath RUH, first appointment 07/02/15.

GP arranged blood tests which came back normal including thyroids, no idea what else they tested for.

Due back to work tomorrow and dreading it!

I think a few of you are in the SouthWest. I have a question over how people rate Bath RUH and Bristol Southmead, I had the choice between the two and chose RUH as easier to get to even though further away.

Can you share any more on your experience Tanny? I think you put you had some tests initially, then a few more following another MC then a few more and it was all very slow. I have my first appointment 07/02/15 and really want to go in as an informed patient and not be fobbed off.
Can anyone else share their experiences of RMC at Southmead? Not sure I could change my mind now, but possibly if I don't get any good answers from RUH?

It's been a rough few weeks, but these threads really have been so informative, I've learnt so much and I'm now a bit too keen to get on and TTC again!