Recurrent Miscarriage Support thread 14 - tests, treatment, trying again

[Justonemoretime]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

Woo hoo. I now declare this scan fortnight, whereby all scans will be the bearer of good news.

Brilliant news charlie, so happy to hear all is well.
Sorry to hear about your gran tiny.so hard to deal with death at any time but especially when you are going through so much else besides

Hurrah charlie. V glad for you

Thanks everyone!

Yay Charlie, fab news! Hopefully, you can relax a bit now (at least for a little while).

Sorry about your nan, tiny - I think you can never completely be prepared for things like this

girlie Hugs to you, too. Sadly, the emotional fallout from a miscarriage is something that will rear its ugly head again and again, and very often when we least expect it. I remember all to well bursting out in tears in a yoga session in the summer... I hope your DH understands (or even tries to) what is going on with you. Some days you just have to write off.

Well, it looks as if my 2ww is nearing its end - massive temp dip this morning Just as well that I have another counselling session tomorrow.
I think I will ask if I can continue to have sessions - they have been so good and helped me so much, I'd be happy to pay for them. Just a little life-line when things get really bad...

And I have now finally plucked up the courage to make the appointment with the gyn/mc consultant that was recommended to me - 8 January. Not exactly cheap, but I've just had my Christmas bonus, so I can put that to good use.
Now wondering if I should take this opportunity to have a ttc break until then (wouldn't be a long one, only one more try before that date anyway) - but it's my birthday on the 3rd, and I am already panicking about the booming sound my biological clock is making...
Strangely enough, the fact that I now have this appointment has not calmed me in any way or made me feel more positive - in fact, I am suddenly so scared .

What's the purpose of the appointment cloud are they likely to recommend any tests that couldn't be performed if you were pregnant? Do you have a plan for your next pregnancy that you are happy with? sounds like if you TTC next cycle you would be 2ww again at the appointment, depends if that is a problem or not.

Tiny- sorry to hear about your grandma. Big hugs

Charlie- fab news x

Cloud- I've got my appointment on the 8th Jan as well. Hopefully we both get some news then.

Feeling much better today, so hopefully yesterday was just a blip and stress of Xmas shopping

cloud sounds like a good investment of your bonus and sounds like counselling is also a must for a while.

My sister has her b day on the third as well, it is a sucky time of year for a birthday at the best of times. Do you think taking a short break from ttc might help calm you a bit? One less thing to be thinking about and might help you focus better on meeting with consultant. But I know the tick tock doesn't get any quieter. Not an easy decision.

Great news charlie. Whoop!

Hugs to you tiny really sorry to hear about your gran

I hope you ladies can help me to calm down a bit here. For those of you who don't know I have my next scan on Thursday, when I should be about 11 + 5. So far I've had a scan every week and all has been well but something has stopped my in my 'happy' tracks today...

At my work it is ALWAYS one girl pregnant and one girl on maternity. This has been the case since I started ttc almost six years ago. A girl who is heavily pregnant is due to break up on 14 January and I thought the next week after she leaves would be the perfect time to tell everyone my news. I was so happy and thought no other announcments or seemingly pregnany colleagues meant this was my time.

However, today a girl has announced she is 12 weeks with her second . It's stopped me in my tracks as I just had no idea. Can't get my head around how it passed me by as she's actually looking massive. I guess I have been too obsorbed with my own hopes and daydreams to notice?!

Last time I was 11 weeks pregant another girl here announced she was 13 weeks and I mc'd the next day. I am now bracing myself for the worst to happen again.

Can I have some and / or handholding please? DH has told me I am being silly but I am literally freaking out and know you ladies will understand. I've been going to the toilets all day to have a cry / do some symptom spotting. So scared!

xxx

charlie great news, enjoy the rest of today at least!
tiny hope you're ok, echo the others, you can never be ready even when you expect it.
cat , it's ok 2015 is the start of a new pattern, 2 pregnant at a time, out with the old, in with the new but hand holding, hope there are only 3 rather than 7 million years between now and Thursday xx

oh cat
i am as superstitious as the next person (this pregnancy have my lucky socks with foxes i take to all appointments and scans) but maybe it's time that luck will change for you. it doesn't have to be one on mat + one pregnant repeat after me, it doesn't it doesn't

When was your last scan? I hope hope hope all is ok...

Thanks Sea. The waiting is the worst. I never used to be superstitous at all but this journey has made me so weird in the head. 2015 should be a new start so I must focus on that!

Tiny glad you're almost as mad as me and really like the sound of those socks. Do you keep them on while they scan you? Wonder if they have noticed and think you only have one pair socks

I have a little soft toy frog which comes in my bag to all my medical appointments. My dad got him for me when I had to have a lot of teeth removed as a little girl. He's a little tatty now but I don't care. I had a fairly serious health issue (unrealted to infertility) four years ago and he was in hospital with me for the whole four weeks. The nurses must have thought I was bonkers haha!!

Thanks as always for being here ladies.

xxx

Oh and Tiny last scan was Wednesday last week and all was well. I was officially 10 weeks but baby measured 10 + 4 and looked strong.

Thinking about your gran and am so sorry. It's such a poignant time of year

xx

They are just M&S socks

I actually bought two pairs to always have one for appointments...

Thanks all, talked to my mum and funeral is today... they do things quickly in Portugal...

That's so sad Tiny I bet you must be devastated to miss it. Try to stay warm and well and focus on your little one. Hugs xxx

thanks... i am not very good with funerals so I actually don't mind, although i wish I was there to give my mum a hug... at least I am flying out in a week for christmas...

Lots of hugs when you get there then Tiny. How many weeks are you now? will be nice for your mum to see your bump :)

x

I will be 24 on Saturday - so will be there after V-day

baking What I really want to get out from this appointment is for an expert to sit down with me and review my situation with me. I feel that this constant limbo and the uncertainty is really wearing me down - how much of a chance do I actually have for a successful pregnancy, given my history? Is there anything else that can be looked at? What are my options, do I need to consider IVF/donor eggs, any treatments that might be considered... Or am I barking up the wrong tree, thinking that I can still have another (natural) child?!
The consultant who saw us after my last mc was very lovely and positive, but if you dissect it down, still sent us away with the usual 'Good luck' and nothing new that hadn't been done before, should I fall pg again (other than the reassurance that I will be very well looked after, which is of course good).
The consultant I am seeing on the 8th has a reputation of being matter-of-fact, clear and honest.

I want to know where I stand, and I want to hear it from the 'expert' who has (hopefully) all the facts and information. I think that it will really help me to use this as a basis for any future ttc-related decision that I might have to make.
But of course, I am petrified that he will say something along the line that, at my age, I really shouldn't bother anymore and that, as the previous results have shown, I have very little/no chance for a successful pregnancy.

I've been at this for 2.5 years now... 2.5 years of heartbreak, crushed hopes and desperation - I have not really been happy for over 2 years. That's a long time, and I need something that might help me to decide what on earth I am going to do next. And I really hope that this might do the trick (or at least set something in motion).

Ugh, sorry for the essay!

Oh dear Cat-you properly have got yourself in a state and for very good reason. I'm sure your normal pragmatic personality would be telling you not to be so silly but with the journey you have been on, it's totally understandable that you're having a wobble. Deep breaths and lots of checking in with us on here. Remember we're all here for yo.

Tiny I missed my grandparents funerals which were held abroad. Both times I took some time out to have my own reflection, hope you've been able to do something similar.

Hello all.
Sorry to hear you're having some anxious moments cat. I'm sure somewhere deep down you know all these worries aren't real but I know after what you've been through its very difficult to see through all the negative thoughts that pop in to your head. Try not to believe it and focus on the positives. Good scan last week and hopefully a good one on the way.

I am feeling pretty rubbish today. Got my results from the thrombophilia/clotting tests and they all came back normal. I know most people would be happy to get normal blood results but i just feel so disappointed that i haven't got a treatable diagnosis and I'm absolutely terrified about trying again with just the progesterone that's different from the other 3 (which I don't actually think is the solution to my problem). I'd decided that I wouldn't try Coventry this time but now I'm beginning to doubt the wisdom of my decision

Cat, hope you're ok? Easy to say superstition is nothing to go on, not so easy to keep those nagging fears quiet. I should know, I'm paranoid that tomorrow's scan will be bad because... its in the afternoon and all the others have been in the morning except my last disastrous 13 week scan for mc #3. Nothing to do with the clinic being in the afternoon. Oh no. We'll keep each other sane. x
Cloud, sounds like a plan. I hope you get the answers you need to move forward one way or another.
March, I know the feeling. I have to say I think the heparin is the magic bullet and you'll get it at Coventry. That's reason enough to go there in my book. Good luck.
Last night I had continuous dreams about nuchal folds of varying sizes, all of them worrying. Will I get through this week with my sanity in tact?

Hi March it's frustrating to be unexplained isn't it? I am unexplained too but progesterone and aspirin has done the trick for me so far.

I heard that if no cause is found for the mcs you are more likely to be succesful, I know it's hard to believe that though sometimes. Perhaps giving Coventry is worth a try as it's been so great for lots of girls on here?

Good luck for tomorrow's scan Just. What time do you go in? I have a really good feeling for you but you are a lot like me with the superstition. I'm worried abt this week's scan being on a Thursday when others were a wednesday. Oh what we put ourselves through.

Thanks girlie I would go mad if I didn't have you girls to talk to! Hope you're having a decent day?

Cloud I totally agree it would help you to talk it through fully with someone. Have you considered Coventry or is it not an option? I think you get a consultancy there. I went to Midland Fertility and saw Gillian Lockwood who was great but it cost a lot. Don't regret it though she put a lot of my worries to bed.

XX

cat I hope you find this reassuring. I am by nature not superstiscious at all, but there have been three things in common with all my mcs. 1) visit from mother 2) being head hunted 3) strange encounters with members of the crow family.

Around week 6/7 I had all three of these happened, which coincided with a dip in symptoms. Obvs freaked out. I was dreading my mums visit, had begun to think of her as the harbinger of pregnancy doom. Somehow I managed to switch on rational brain and instead of fearing all these coincidences I embraced them. Actually what this boiled down to was acknowledging the similarities in occurences but highlighting the differences (e.g was head hunted but for a job I didn't want so totally different to last times), seemed to lessen the irrational fear. Also took a different route to the hospital for these scans. Not supersticious me, nope not at all.
Sending you and just all the good vibes in the world. just I hope you need a magnifying glass to see your nuchal it is so small. Crappy having scan in the pm isn't it? Makes it all so much more drawn out, but nearly there.

Hi all...Still lurking. We've started to TTC again this month and feeling quite relieved that we've passed ov now because quite frankly I'm knackered. That aside, it has been tough though. We've both felt under pressure more than ever before but are both committed to the cause or need committing!?!

I've finally spoken to my gp about what happens from here and he's confirmed he won't refer us to the RMC yet, which I didn't expect, but he has agreed to send me for bloods to check some things out which feels like a mini success... Not sure he's checking hormones though... I would never have had the guts to request anything if it wasn't for you guys on here. Thankyou. Might have to go celebrate with a hot chocolate

Dh keeps referring to the situation as a car... Or something that's developed a fault... In the sense that we'd not hesitate getting the car fixed. His way of saying he'll support me if I want to see someone privately. Weight off my mind.