total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today...

[SuperGlue]

It was very hard to put this into a title but basically I had a dating scan 11 days ago when i reckoned i ought to have been 9 weeks pg. In the scan there was an empty embryonic sac measuring 7 wks but no yolk or fetal pole. The sonographer said it was most likely a miscarriage but that I would need to come back in 10 days to see if there was any growth during that time as a protocol.

I have spent the past 11 days in total turmoil and limbo. Waiting any moment to miscarry etc.

Went back today for the second scan expecting to be taken in this week for a d&c only to find that the sac had grown in the 10 days and there was now a yolk, fetal pole and an embryo measuring just 6 weeks. No heartbeat but she said heartbeat would kick in, if it was going to, over the next 7 days. SO basically she could not confirm that it was a miscarriage at this stage but that we would need to go back this day next week to see if there is a heartbeat. If not it will be confirmed then.

She was fairly certain that there was a problem with the development of this pregnancy and that the most likely scenario would be that it would develop this far and trail off and we would not find a heartbeat on Monday.

I just can't get my head around it all. Even if my dates were out a bit, I didn't think it was possible to be out that much.

Has anyone else ever gone through this?

I feel like my head is about to explode trying to take it all in / work it all out and another 7 days waiting stretches out in front of me..........

thanks fromwest. im glad its almost over for you. soon you will be able to look to the future hopefully.

wonky let us know how you get on. as others have said on here one of us deserves good news. i hope its you. so sorry you are suffering with your other condition. hopefully after today (even if its good news) you will be able to find a way to manage it.

sat at work with christmas songs on and every other song is bringing me to the brink of tears. i didnt realise it would be this hard. peed off at myself for wallowing, does anyone else feel like that or am i being hard on myself?

Wonky I hope you get on ok today.

Gingerbread you need a good wallow. I know I'm eating comfort food and I'm having an afternoon of lying on the sofa watching dvds when my little boy is at nursery this afternoon. Look after yourself.

Wonky, thinking of you today and crossing my fingers you get surprised by good news. Somebody on this thread has to have a positive outcome surely!
I spent all day yesterday frantically scrubbing my house and rearranging furniture, I hoped it would kick start the miscarrying but no such luck.
We have family arriving today to stay with us for 3 weeks, including my 6 month old nephew. He was prem so is tiny though. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the next few weeks, it's going to be so difficult. We also have another relative visiting this afternoon with a 5 month old. I could cry just thinking about it.

thankyou hohoho ive been like this weeks now though i really need to try and keep it together a bit more. your afternoon sounds lovely enjoy.

chubby im sorry you seem in the same situation as me, have you spoken to your hospital? i know you have a lot on at the mo but maybe they could prescribe you the medication if you felt like you wanted to do that? that understandable how you feel being round small babies. you may surprise yourself though. i will keep my fingers crossed that is bareable. least with all the guests ul have a good distraction hopefully. hope u r ok. have a private cry when / if you need to sometimes makes you feel bit better.

I'm afraid it was confirmation of bad news and I am starting medical management at home today.
Scared and relieved it equal measures. Scared that I have to go through a horrible experience, relieved that it's the end of limbo and that after this we can begin to move on.
The hospital were really lovely though and I cannot praise them enough, they spent time explaining options, pros & cons & what to expect & listening and were generally just really good in what was a really shit day.
DH is off work this week anyway so is here with me & can distract & occupy our 6yo. He keeps trying to make me laugh & suggested that sitting on our cream sofa was bound to kick things off.

Sorry to hear your news Wonkylegs. Hopefully the medical management process won't be too bad.

im so sorry wonky i was really rooting for you this morning. such sad news as you say though at least the limbo is over.

good that they gave you medical management there and then too. i am collecting mine tonite to take saturday or sunday when i and dp are off. hope it goes ok will be thinking of you.

your dh sounds lovely trying to lighten your mood, sure he will be a great support throughout. hope ur ok.

So sorry to hear that Wonky . Hopefully it will all be over soon for you. Make sure you wear white pants when you sit on your cream sofa (and especially if you go out in public)!

The hospital have advised me to wait for it to happen naturally Ginger. They won't do a ERPC as my womb is too fragile and they didn't feel that medical management would be my best option as I've had a partial miscarriage already (baby has gone but sac remains). They said it looks like my body is in the process of doing what it needs to and so intervention isn't necessary.

I coped better than expected with this afternoons visiting baby. I was very aware that all eyes were on me so I channelled my inner actress and waited until they'd gone to have a cry. My nephew hasn't arrived yet (flight delays) but I feel like I've had my rehearsal now and can improve on my performance tomorrow.

aww chubby im sorry. if it makes u feel better ny hospital did tell me natural was best. that might make you feel a little better i hope.

you have done well with the baby, jus keep on like u are and go off for a cry when u need to. ive gone off for a few cries at work and felt a sense of relief afterwards. its better to let it out i think.

sasha so sorry to hear your sad news too that is rubbish. i never know if this is the right thing to say but your body has gotten pregnant 3 times now so it is good at doing that and it will happen and you will get that sibling for your dc as soon as possible. hopefully only happy times coming ur way. thinking of u.

Sorry to read your sad news Sasha.

I can't believe it hasn't worked out for a single one of us on this thread. Is anyone still waiting or does everyone have a final answer now?

Oh ladies, I have not disappeared but have been up the walls at work and had 2 late night working this week so have been reading but too tired to post. You have all been in my thoughts every day this week though and I have cried reading your updates. So many hopes and wishes dashed here and I feel for all of us.

I am in work now so just grabbing a second to say a quick hi, can't respond individually to everyone, even though I really want to - but I will be thinking of you all and hoping that for those waiting for nature to take its course, that is as peaceful and gentle as it can be for you all. God, it is a hard path we are on.

I am surviving ok, have had a few wobbles along the way but generally holding it together ok. I am very tired though as it has been a super busy week at work. Poor dh had a very bad day yesterday - he dropped me to work and he was supposed to be working at home on a project. He was in very bad form when he woke and was snappy which is totally unlike him. I went to work and dd went to school. I texted him mid-morning and he said he was ok, but feeling sad. When I got home last night at 9.30pm he told me he was very sad after we all left and instead of going home to start work he couldn't face it so he drove around for a while and then he realised he was crying so he kept driving (back roads in the country) and after a cry he felt a bit better and managed to go back and do some work. I think he has concentrated on being strong and supportive to me and he got a bit neglected along the way. It made me sad to think of him on his own though.

We are away this weekend but I will touch in later on the ipad. Thinking of you all xx

glad to hear you are getting by super. such a shame you are so busy with work at this horrible time. hope it is acting as a bit of a distraction if nothing else though.

glad you have a break to recouperate a bit and hopefully you and your dh can use it to deal woth your feelings and also enjoy yourselves a little. have a lovely time.

Thanks for updating Super. Good reminder not to neglect the partners in this.
I have a scan on Monday so technically I'm still waiting, maybe I'm the last one?
Im not waiting with the hope of good news. Just need to know whether I have passed everything naturally or not.

Agh. I'm feeling stressed about the scan tomorrow now. My two weeks of escape from hospital intervention are nearly over and I have to think about it all again.
My bleeding has all but stopped. Only a little brown spotting yesterday. I'm worrying that it wasn't enough. Just two mornings of cramps and those weren't bad enough to stop me going about my normal day. I went out in the car etc while they were going on. Bleeding was never as heavy as a normal period. Only needed regular towels, whereas in a period I would need super. Only teeny tiny clots, mostly just thick, gloopy dark red blood along with bright blood.
I'm just dreading the retained products diagnosis. But that looks like what I'm going to get isn't it. Darn darn darn.

fromwest...i am now in same limbo as u too. did medical management yesterday at home. from what ive read it just doesnt feel like enough has happened for me to have actually mc if that makes sense?

short story..took meds 11am, bled lightly hour after. pain ramped up few hours after that, bled more heavily too but like u i would say equal to or slightly more than period. passed few 50p sized clots tht i saw and pai and blood stayed same till i finally gave in and went to bed at 11.30.

pain has gone thru the night and bleeding lighter now. i dont know id i dare believe that was it?

Oh. It's so hard. We spend all this time waiting for a miscarriage then we end up not knowing if we fully had one or not.

sasha im so sorry this is a terrible time. would be helpful if consultants could contact you with all the relevant information so you're not left worrying over the weekend.

hopefully you can speak to someone tomorrow and get some more information and if you would prefer not to go through with the procedure you would be able to do it naturally at home. will keep my fngers crossed for you at this terrible time.

That's horrible Sasha. It becomes so routine for them, but it's not routine for us, the individuals going through it.
I'm hoping I've reabsorbed something. I didn't have a foetus, just empty sacs.
Less than 24 hours till I know more.

Hi all,
Any room for another one? I had 2 m/c's before I had my DD. The first was a mmc, 14 weeks measuring 8. I waited a cycle and fell pegnant again but had a chemical at 6 weeks and that passed naturally. I went privately for some assessments at that point and found that I was low in progesterone. I conceived DD on a medicated cycle and progesterone support for a good portion of the pregnancy.

So, DH has always been anxious to have a brother or sister for DD. She is 4 now. Me not so much, I found pregnancy stressful and fertility treatments expensive. But his arguments were valid so we decided to try for another one without intervention. You hear so many stories about things just kicking in once you have had a successful pregnancy.

I was 10 weeks on Friday and had a private scan yesterday and it's another mmc, measuring 6 weeks, no yolk sac, no movement, no heartbeat. I have to present to the EPU tomorrow and from what I have gathered they won't accept the private scan so I will have a first scan tomorrow and a second scan in a week to confirm and hopefully an ERPC on the same day. It never happened naturally for me on my last mmc even though I had a 2 week wait for the ERPC last time so I don't expect it will this time either.

Emotionally I am pretty matter of fact about it. I was devastated and shell shocked the first time but I was half expecting it this time and just anxious to get it over with asap. I am trying to look at the positives, I will have a boozy Christmas. My plan is to go back to the same place I went to for DD and go down the medicated route. I'll be well looked after in terms of early scans there too. However, I'm only giving it one more shot. It will be my 5th pregnancy with only one child to show for it.

Thank you for sharing your stories. I wouldn't have gotten through my other m/c's without the support I got online. I feel much stronger and much better able to cope this time. My biggest fear is that it may come on naturally, but having read some of your posts I feel I might be able to deal with it if it happens. Thank you and sorry for all of your losses.

Ah, Scarlet, sorry to hear of your loss. I think you have a good attitude. A positive pregnancy test does not always equal a baby and that's the reality. It's the process of waiting to get the whole mc thing over with that can be so draining.
Looks like your chances of success with medical support are good. Hope that goes well for you.

Morning all. Just checking in from the hotel. We are about to leave now. Just wanted to say I was thinking of u all over the past few days. Will check in again later x

When I had my first m/c I watched the notebook. I'd say I bawled from about half way through but I found it a relief to be crying about something other than my own situation while still getting the emotions out. Weepy movies are good. So are chocs, the Christmas stash is fairly depleted at this stage. Glad you had a lovely break Super Glue.

Sorry you've had to join this thread Scarlet.

I'm sorry everyone's not having a better weekend. Once you know it's over you just want it to actually be over don't you. The fact it drags on for so long is just kicking us while we're down.

My miscarriage kicked off with a vengeance yesterday. I nipped into town with DH and DS to pick up a couple of Christmas presents and just as we set off home I got the most awful cramps. I was driving and had to find a place to pull over so I could swap with DH. By the time we arrived home I was in agony and desperately trying not to let DS notice. I ran myself a hot bath (as hot as I could stand) and then suddenly I felt like I was in labour and my body started expelling huge chunks of tissue. I was frightened and shocked by how much there was, I passed about 2 mug fulls in total, the largest chunk being the size of my fist. *PLEASE NOTE, MY LAST MISCARRIAGE WAS NOTHING LIKE THIS! Last time I passed a couple of 50p size clots and that was all.