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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today...

953 replies

SuperGlue · 17/11/2014 14:29

It was very hard to put this into a title but basically I had a dating scan 11 days ago when i reckoned i ought to have been 9 weeks pg. In the scan there was an empty embryonic sac measuring 7 wks but no yolk or fetal pole. The sonographer said it was most likely a miscarriage but that I would need to come back in 10 days to see if there was any growth during that time as a protocol.

I have spent the past 11 days in total turmoil and limbo. Waiting any moment to miscarry etc.

Went back today for the second scan expecting to be taken in this week for a d&c only to find that the sac had grown in the 10 days and there was now a yolk, fetal pole and an embryo measuring just 6 weeks. No heartbeat but she said heartbeat would kick in, if it was going to, over the next 7 days. SO basically she could not confirm that it was a miscarriage at this stage but that we would need to go back this day next week to see if there is a heartbeat. If not it will be confirmed then.

She was fairly certain that there was a problem with the development of this pregnancy and that the most likely scenario would be that it would develop this far and trail off and we would not find a heartbeat on Monday.

I just can't get my head around it all. Even if my dates were out a bit, I didn't think it was possible to be out that much.

Has anyone else ever gone through this?

I feel like my head is about to explode trying to take it all in / work it all out and another 7 days waiting stretches out in front of me..........

OP posts:
mrsb0710 · 02/02/2015 19:24

Hi ladies. Just checking in to see how everyone is going.

It is amazing how resilient our bodies are, and as awful as a MC is, it has definitely taught me that woman are tough!

Had super bad back pain, and have been so pissy mooded all week, poor DH. I had some light spotting today, its a bit odd, as some symptoms are the same as when I got pregnant. I know though, that more than likely AF is about to arrive with a vengeance. At least then I'll know where I'm at.

How is everyone else going? Ginger, how are you feeling?

Have temp work starting end of this month, desperately need to start earning some money again!
Definitely a lot less stressed I don't have to go back to the arseholes at my old job :)

gingerbreadmam · 02/02/2015 20:00

great news tomsave a lot of stress at least. are you going to ttc again?

mrsb good to hear about ur temp work thats fab congratulations. i hve been reading up on implantation today, dont want to get your hopes up but worth a look. says implantation occurs around about 9 days after ovulation.

im doing ok mc wise cos i am being masively distracted by the tww wait instead. got second counselling session tomo and had iron levels checked today. hopefully go ok. sooo want a bfp tho.

TomCat81 · 03/02/2015 10:46

Yes, already planning to ttc again. How long does this supposed extra-fertile phase last after mc? DH is worried that there's a medical reason for not ttc straightaway. All the doctor said was to wait one cycle for dating purposes, but is that the only reason? I said I would ask you ladies as you are all probably more knowledgeable than the medical people! I really don't want to wait! I haven't tracked my ovulation before ... any tips on that too?

mrsb I've been catching up on this thread and have read about your experiences at work ... sounds horrendous. Hope you are feeling better now and that the temp work helps. As if you haven't had enough to contend with.

Fingers crossed for your bfp soon, ginger!

I got a new baby update from a friend abroad this morning. She sent a thank you for the little booties I'd sent her and an updated photo of her two week old dd. Can hardly believe I had the strength to go into a shop and buy them. Part of me wants to tell her what's been going on but I will try not to as I don't think it's fair, she will only feel guilty. Life goes on I suppose...

gingerbreadmam · 03/02/2015 10:53

tom as far as i am aware, especially with a natural mc you can ttc straight away. i think the most fertile period is about 3 or 4 months.

do u have a smartphone? if so try downloading ovia. its a free app where you can record alsorts of data and it tells you your fertile windows and even when to poas. it also has lots of good advice about ttc on there.

thank you.

mrsb0710 · 04/02/2015 08:57

Tom - I have used Ovia too, and its really quite good.

Well, AF has arrives, just under 5 weeks since ERPC. I am a little disappointed, but also now know we can get back on track with TTC.
Very heavy, and crampy, one of those day where I'm glad I haven't started work yet. Going to curl up with a hot water bottle and relax.

Thinking of all you ladies.

Imscarlet · 05/02/2015 18:46

I had my appointment with the fertility clinic today. Very positive. I'm back on the same drug regime as when I had DD. They seem positive it should work and I should have a BFP before very long at all.

First AF after the ERPC can be nasty alright MrsB. Hope you are having lots of chocolate!!

mrsb0710 · 05/02/2015 19:13

That's great news scarlet, are you feeling a lot.more positive about it? Fingers crossed for you :)

I am.absolutely exhausted, have hardly done a thing. Feel so.guilty, even though DH is telling me to rest.
Have been eating lots of chocolate!

Imscarlet · 05/02/2015 20:32

Honestly, I am and I amn't. I'm going to be taking a shed load of fertility drugs, which involve injecting myself and regular blood test to monitor hormone levels. I'm not looking forward to that. Also, I have mixed feelings about having another child and I feel bad saying that on this thread when so many of you so desperately want one. We are just getting our lives back now that DD is 4 and is getting a bit more independent and a baby is a lot of work, and it can be lonely, stressful and exhausting especially in the first few months. I changed career after I had DD and I am just getting on my feet in my new career. A baby would be a set back, not because of my employer but because of the terms of my contracts which are temporary and year to year. My husband is desperate to have another child and feels it would be unfair not to give a sibling to my DD for my own selfish reasons, which I do agree with but at the same time, I know that by virtue of maternity leave and breastfeeding and the nature of his work, I know I will be left with twice the work. I worry that I might get post natal depression as a result of my misgivings and while this is a terrible thing to admit to and I wouldn't do so anywhere but here, while I was devastated to have the miscarriage, a teeny teeny tiny part of me wasn't.
I'm sorry, I don't know where all of that came from.

mrsb0710 · 05/02/2015 21:52

Oh scarlet, I wish I could do something to alleviate the stress and uncertainty. Its hard when its not only us we have to consider.
I'm worried about TTC, and MC again, and finances, and you've got so much going on

I guess all.you can do is what I right for you, and I do hope you have someone in RL to talk to. Of course, always post on here, and even if we cant help, we can listen and hold hands when needed.

gingerbreadmam · 06/02/2015 08:51

hello. just wanted to post a quick message to see how everyone was doing on the thread if youre stll around.

often in my thoughts. hope everyone is well Thanks

Original poster
SuperGlue · 08/02/2015 20:14

Hi everyone, just checking in to see how you are all doing? I am generally ok but hit a bit of a bump this weekend. It is my birthday today, I am now 45. I have cried on and off a good bit as it seems very final somehow - that is OLD for ttc'ing and I would have been exactly 6mths pg today if all had worked out. It was like my final little little triumph against time and nature. I don't even know if I am making sense?

My mother is still working me up aswell. She rang today to wish me a happy birthday and chatted generally for approx 5 mins before she launched into telling me how great my sister is doing and how she has a lovely little bump (that bit got to me I will admit - why tell me that on my birthday - I did have a woe in me feeling). She texted me after to ask if I was ok, and that she hoped I was starting to feel more positive now and how excited they all were for the new baby. And I replied that I was ok but still very sad about all that had happened so recently and that we know we have lost the equivalent to XX (our dd) and it is hard to think positively about that. But thanks for the message. No reply to that.

Hey ho. I guess that is just the way things are now.

Dh is being very sweet this weekend and has looked after me. We are a little tight financially until next week so it was a low key day. He has booked 2 nights away in 2 weeks time.

I think of you all often and hope you are all doing ok?

Ginger - any news?
Chubby - hope you are surviving the new nephew xxxx

OP posts:
gingerbreadmam · 08/02/2015 20:36

super everytime i read about your mam i have one of these faces Angry how can she be so insensitive? im so sorry you have to deal with that. makes things awkward between u and ur sister too when im sure they probably wouldnt have been otherwise.

i think u still have a good chance at 45 its worth still trying anyway. im glad your dh has tried to make your birthday special you deserve it. happy birthday to you.Thanks

i do have some news, i have been thinking for the last couple of days whether to post it here. everyone on the thread was such an amazing support to me throughout my mmc i honestly didnt know how i would have gotten through it wihthout this thread so i wanted to share but know it is sensitive and so eary for all of us that went through mc's late last year.

i am officialy cb digi confirmed 2-3wks pregnant today. im in complete shock. i dont know if u remember but i only had an erpc on 14 december. im petrified. sad that i am no longer naieve enough to think this will become my baby. also excited of course but the other emotions r more ovepowering. scary times ahead.

Original poster
SuperGlue · 08/02/2015 20:40

OMG Ginger that is THE best news ever - that has really made my birthday! I am welling up here!!! Please do stay on the thread and keep us posted. I cannot tell you how happy I am for you and I will have everything crossed for a healthy and safe 8 mths ahead. O.M.G I am crying and grinning like this Grin xxxxxxxxxx

OP posts:
mrsb0710 · 08/02/2015 21:09

I love how this thread supports us all, through good and bad. We've been through a lot together.
Ginger - so happy for you. Wish I could give you a hug in rl!

Super - I was a complete surprise to my mum when she fell pregnant at 41. Keep believing. And we shall be here for you.

Ginger - did you do anything extra to ttc? Was is your first cycle after erpc?
Keep us updated. It will be ok, and however you feel, you know you can share with us.

I'm CD5 and flipping impatient to start again.

fromwesttoeast · 08/02/2015 22:46

Great news Ginger. Smile I'm glad you posted here. It just goes to show how mc is NOT the end of the road!

brickiemum2 · 08/02/2015 22:57

Congratulations ginger.
I plan to do everything in my power to be in the same boat as soon as I'm past the erpc.

gingerbreadmam · 09/02/2015 06:34

aww u guys im almost in tears here. thank you so much.

glad it brightened ur birthday.

i had af exactly 28 days after erpc and would be due 2nd af today. i downloaded ovia which i hadnt used before. paid a bit more attention to ewcm altho i admit im a bit clueless on that and laid down after dtd for as long as i could.

was a weird experience. on the day before ovia said id ovulate this weird thing happened thru the night. i felt like i had felt myself get pregnant. dreamed i poas 4 times all bfps then updated mn with today i am pregnant. finally mentioned this to my mam yest she said same thing happened to her with db her first child who was also born october Shock

gingerbreadmam · 09/02/2015 07:12

oh and super my mams heading towards your mams level, i went out yesterday and bought this simba babygrow set and towel i had seen in matalan and loved. i know people say its jinxs it but i never bought anything last time and wanted to so bad. when it all went wrong i remember really feeling like that experience had been stolen from me.

so i told my man yesterday and straight away she jusy said ohr well thats bad luck or something along them lines. grrrr cheers mam! she doesnt have a clue what i went through last time.

mrsb0710 · 09/02/2015 13:56

Hugs for you ginger. I'm glad you bought the babygro. It will give you something to focus all your good thoughts on.
CD6, going to start the SMEP and hope it all works :)

Imscarlet · 09/02/2015 15:13

Ginger, I am so delighted for you. We were due some good news on this thread.

Superglue, I wonder would you have a chat with your mum and explain to her how upset she is making you feel? I can't help but feel she is a bit oblivious to the pain that you are in, and if she knew she might reign it in a bit? Maybe that wouldn't work, you know best.

gingerbreadmam · 09/02/2015 15:30

thanks so much imscarlet and mrsb it felt right.

my mam is a nitemare. she was already lecturing me yesterday on all the 'stupid' dos and donts the midwives and health visitors tell you to do nowadays such as swaddling, sleeping on back, feet to the bottom etc. i have a lot to learn in the next 8 months i dont need her and her silly theories making things difficult.

ha its weird i just cant take it in as good news just yet. Sad

Imscarlet · 09/02/2015 15:36

Gingerbread, ask at your hospital if they will do an early reassurance scan for you. They normally do after a miscarriage.

gingerbreadmam · 09/02/2015 17:17

i dont know if i dare scarlet which sounds silly i know. a scan wont change what will be. my dp is petrified of scans now after the last time and has already said he wouldnt want one. i guess well see what happens between now and 8 weeks.

doubt wed have enough money to go privately but i think one of our dps would offer if it was causing us stress and worry.

mrsb0710 · 10/02/2015 14:52

Wait and see how you feel ginger.
I've got mixed feelings about it for when the time comes. But I think I'd rather know early then at 12 weeks.
You're going to be fine though. You'll have a snuggly little new born in no time :)

gingerbreadmam · 10/02/2015 15:42

part of me thinks id rather know but after the experience i hd last time another part of me thinks id rather carry on unaware and it just happen if that makes sense.

last time the psychological affects of carrying all that time knowing what had happened was just awful. i dont know i really dont.

if we wanted to i am seeing the midwife at 7+2 just booked it today so guess i could mention it then. dp is against it hes too scared after last time.