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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today...

953 replies

SuperGlue · 17/11/2014 14:29

It was very hard to put this into a title but basically I had a dating scan 11 days ago when i reckoned i ought to have been 9 weeks pg. In the scan there was an empty embryonic sac measuring 7 wks but no yolk or fetal pole. The sonographer said it was most likely a miscarriage but that I would need to come back in 10 days to see if there was any growth during that time as a protocol.

I have spent the past 11 days in total turmoil and limbo. Waiting any moment to miscarry etc.

Went back today for the second scan expecting to be taken in this week for a d&c only to find that the sac had grown in the 10 days and there was now a yolk, fetal pole and an embryo measuring just 6 weeks. No heartbeat but she said heartbeat would kick in, if it was going to, over the next 7 days. SO basically she could not confirm that it was a miscarriage at this stage but that we would need to go back this day next week to see if there is a heartbeat. If not it will be confirmed then.

She was fairly certain that there was a problem with the development of this pregnancy and that the most likely scenario would be that it would develop this far and trail off and we would not find a heartbeat on Monday.

I just can't get my head around it all. Even if my dates were out a bit, I didn't think it was possible to be out that much.

Has anyone else ever gone through this?

I feel like my head is about to explode trying to take it all in / work it all out and another 7 days waiting stretches out in front of me..........

OP posts:

mrsb0710 · 27/01/2015 11:08

I'm so sorry Gin. Please post here if you need any advice, we can hand hold with you. We all feel your pain and sadness.

PassTheGinBottle · 27/01/2015 15:01

Thank you so much ladies. It's so nice to know there are so many lovely people on these boards - the support is amazing.

I am bleeding but haven't passed anything significant yet. I'm booked in for an ERPC on Friday and have some prescription painkillers.

gingerbreadmam · 27/01/2015 15:18

r u feeling ok about the erpc? if you havent had one before and want any info im happy to share.

sounds like u r well prepared with your painkillers etc. i hope you are ok and thinking of u.

mrsb0710 · 27/01/2015 15:32

Gin - is your DP or someone with you? Hope you have someone in RL who can support you too.
I found the thought of the ERPC scarier than the experience. Where I was the nurses were lovely and took good care of me. Make sure you take plenty of time to recover, I tried to push myself too soon. Just do what is right for you. Everyone on here is amazing and very supportive

PassTheGinBottle · 27/01/2015 16:04

Yes DH is here and my dad stated last night too. He has DS for a couple of days so we can deal with this.

I have started a thread about ERPC. I'm sure it's what I want, but do have questions. Just not sure what to expect I guess...

PassTheGinBottle · 27/01/2015 16:05

Stayed not stated. Fucking autocorrect.

DH is being so amazing. I love him so much.

Imscarlet · 27/01/2015 17:00

Aw Gin, I'm so sorry. I've had 2 ERPC's so ask any questions you like.

Original poster

SuperGlue · 27/01/2015 17:01

Hello everyone, I have just been catching up with all your posts. I am so sorry passthe that is very cruel news and I hope you are doing ok? Life can be so hard sometimes. Will be thinking of you.

chubby I totally get how bittersweet that news about your nephew is. I really do. My sis is pg and had has scan this week and I swear it is really really affecting me. I am not saying anything to her about it all other than great news and congrats etc but it is eating me up and it is all made so much worse by my parents MASSIVE insensitivity about it all. Basically my mother is miffed that I am still grieving and not jumping about with glee about the news and she is taking it all personally. I have tried speaking to her and so has my dh (he is so great!) but it is simply not sinking in with her. Since december when dsis told family the news I have not had a single text or phone call that does not reference how great that news is or how worried dsis is about her scan etc. Not one. Yesterday I spoke to her and agreed it was great news that the scan was good and I contacted dsis. And yet again today in work I got a text from dm telling me AGAIN how delighted they are about the scan and how relieved and how it's going to be a 'great, busy summer ahead' (sis due in July). I was due on 10 June. Perhaps I am overly sensitive but that really hurt me. Am so f*ing sick of my parents now. Dsis is fine, she gets it and has not been pushing it in my face.

Sorry for the long rant, there are so few places / people where I can off-load it irl that it is great to have here (even if you have all, rightly, fallen asleep reading it)

Just coming to the end of 2nd post MC af so the magic extra-fertile phase may have passed me by as I expected.

Ginger, wonky, fromwest and everyone else I have been thinking of you all - hoping for some exciting good news from one of you soon!

OP posts:

gingerbreadmam · 27/01/2015 18:37

oh super your mum sounds completely unaware of what you have been through. i really feel for you. maybe its time to make a stand and say straight out you dont want to talk about your sisters pregnancy all the time as it just makes you think of what you have lost. im glad dsis understands. how awful.

do you think your mum just doesnt realise what shes doing?

gin mine was an emergency erpc so i was on a waiting list all day. they collected me from the ward and wheeled me to theatre. this was probs the worst thing as it was just scary and i was alone dp had to stay on the ward. then u get taken into the room where they give you anaesthetic. all the nurses etc came in and introduced themselves then explained what it would be like to put to sleep all whilst giving me oxygen etc. they administered the stuff in a canula i already had in.

anaesthatist started telling me i would feel a funny feeling in my head then feel tired then i jus heard him say thats it. next thing i know i was feeling like i had been sick. think they had brought me round and that was me responding to the pipe being removed. i wasnt actually sick, i dont think .

they wheeled me back to the ward and i had to stay in as it was after 11.00pm but physically i felt completely fine. felt a bit sore first few times i peed but i imagine b lot worse if had given birth ha. i didnt get any pain and only light bleeding afterwards. wished id opted for that at the very beginning.

PassTheGinBottle · 28/01/2015 08:59

Ginger thank you for sharing. I'm shitting myself about the anaesthetic

gingerbreadmam · 28/01/2015 10:47

by the time u have had chance to panic about it your asleep try not to worry.

i am petrified of drs, blood etc etc to the point where i used to wonder if id have dc because of my fears if i get through it and think it was fine anyone can.

i kept reminding myself you could have been giving birth n u were up for that

be prepared to feel exhausted for a few days after. as the op was so easy and painfree that took me by surprise. for about 5 days i felt tired and light headed, think jus the anaesthetic wearing off. i know a few others experienced similar.

PassTheGinBottle · 28/01/2015 10:54

Very true! I am a wimp. Just want it over and done with.

Thank you for all the support x

gingerbreadmam · 28/01/2015 11:37

for me and all the processes i have been through with my mc the erpc was by far the easiest physically and emotionally. might not be the case for everyone.

PassTheGinBottle · 28/01/2015 13:03

Well I think everything has just...erm...happened by itself here so looks like I won't need the ERPC. Just waiting for a call back from EPU.

gingerbreadmam · 28/01/2015 13:17

oh gin im so sorry. hope you havent had to deal with that alone. how r u doing?

PassTheGinBottle · 28/01/2015 13:38

Yeah I am on my own love but it's cool; I am happy it's done. DH back very soon.

I was very upset by the thought of having it cremated - that it would be taken out of me then put in a fridge in a hospital then taken away. I hated the thought of not knowing where it was. Now I've dealt with it, I know it's gone and it went with just me there and not lots of medical stuff and drugs.

The EPU have cancelled my op and I'm having a scan tomorrow to confirm it's all gone.

gingerbreadmam · 28/01/2015 13:53

i was going to mention about a scan.

im glad you felt like it has happened the right way for you. get plenty of love and support from your dp.

fwiw after my erpc i started to pick up a little emotionally like one door had closed. thinking of u

PassTheGinBottle · 28/01/2015 14:00

I've hear a few people say that. I feel the same. I think some positive hormones may have kicked in. X

Imscarlet · 28/01/2015 14:13

Gin hope you are ok. You do turn a corner afterwards for sure.

gingerbreadmam · 28/01/2015 14:19

i do hope so gin. take your time with your feelings. ive jus started counselling for mine and as she rightfully said it is a grieving process and it is fine to talk about and get upset. anyway enough of me rambling on. kp posting for support.

fromwesttoeast · 28/01/2015 14:22

hope everything will be ok now Gin. I know what you mean about dealing with the remains. I was quite upset when it was all disposed of by the hospital when I had med management. In my first mc (11 weeks) it was all at home and I buried the sac in the garden. That seemed right to me.

PassTheGinBottle · 28/01/2015 14:28

Thanks ladies

Original poster

SuperGlue · 29/01/2015 13:00

Gin so sorry to read your update. My MC happened at home too and I felt the same as you, although I was terrified at the thoughts of handling it alone and I had really wanted an ERPC. I felt an instant physical and emotional relief once the sac had passed. I could not have believed that until it actually happened to me. Sadly my sac went into the toilet as it sort of whooshed out unexpectedly. I was really terribly upset about that aspect for ages afterwards, but there is simply nothing I can do about that. I am now glad that it happened in my own lovely safe bathroom and not elsewhere. But that is not to say that if it hadn't taken me by surprise like that I would have had the ERPC and I would have been very happy with that option.

I hope you are being looked after. I found it sort of hit me in waves and at times I was ok and at others I was really hit by it.

Thinking of you xx

OP posts:

PassTheGinBottle · 29/01/2015 13:08

Superglue you are so kind. Thank you.

I am up and down too. Is it quite unpredictable. I find the evenings hard.

I agree with what you said about it happening at home, in our own bathroom. I'm glad I was the one there when it came out, and not in an operating theatre. But I also feel terrible about flushing it. I'm not sure what else I could have done...

fromwesttoeast · 29/01/2015 13:25

Hope I didn't make you feel bad by saying I buried my sac. They don't all come out the same. Mine went in the toilet but I fished it out. It was quite a substantial size, and solid and might have caused a blockage if flushed. I realise they don't all come out in that sort of form. Whatever you feel comfortable for yourself is best.

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