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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today...

953 replies

SuperGlue · 17/11/2014 14:29

It was very hard to put this into a title but basically I had a dating scan 11 days ago when i reckoned i ought to have been 9 weeks pg. In the scan there was an empty embryonic sac measuring 7 wks but no yolk or fetal pole. The sonographer said it was most likely a miscarriage but that I would need to come back in 10 days to see if there was any growth during that time as a protocol.

I have spent the past 11 days in total turmoil and limbo. Waiting any moment to miscarry etc.

Went back today for the second scan expecting to be taken in this week for a d&c only to find that the sac had grown in the 10 days and there was now a yolk, fetal pole and an embryo measuring just 6 weeks. No heartbeat but she said heartbeat would kick in, if it was going to, over the next 7 days. SO basically she could not confirm that it was a miscarriage at this stage but that we would need to go back this day next week to see if there is a heartbeat. If not it will be confirmed then.

She was fairly certain that there was a problem with the development of this pregnancy and that the most likely scenario would be that it would develop this far and trail off and we would not find a heartbeat on Monday.

I just can't get my head around it all. Even if my dates were out a bit, I didn't think it was possible to be out that much.

Has anyone else ever gone through this?

I feel like my head is about to explode trying to take it all in / work it all out and another 7 days waiting stretches out in front of me..........

OP posts:
mrsb0710 · 18/01/2015 15:18

Thinking of you chubby, must be difficult to be happy, and yet bittersweet at the same time. I think I'd be quite emotional about it.

Question ladies, I've been a lot more active this week eg tidying up the flat, walking the dog. I came back from our walk today and had quite a bit of brown discharge. It looks like CM mixed with old blood. Sorry TMI! I'm thinking its just discharge from the ERPC, maybe coming out more as I'm moving about a lot? Nothing else seems abnormal.
I got so frustrated and upset at myself last night, just felt like I've messed up everything handing in my notice and being all crazy hormonal. DH, bless him, has been wonderful about it all and very supportive, but I hate putting pressure on him. I know we'll get through it, it just still all feels shitty is all.

gingerbreadmam · 18/01/2015 16:03

wonky that is good to hear about your friend, i think i would be the same.

mrsb you have been trhough such a hard time lately theres no wonder you are all over. ur dp is right though everything will be ok. we only know snippets of what happened at work but even i can say i think you have made a good decision. try ot to worry.

as for the discharge i think thats fairly normal like u say i think its just a case that you have done a lot which has triggered it. hope ur ok.

FlyingSpud · 19/01/2015 20:02

Hello ladies, how is everyone?Thanks

mrsb0710 · 19/01/2015 21:24

Nothing too much to report. Had some funky discharge today - brown/mucousy/stringy. Have spent a lot of my time past few months Knicker watching! Hopefully soon for a better reason.
No response from work yet.
Enjoying my relax time, DH is benefitting from my desire to bake :)
Hope everyone is doing ok.

mrsb0710 · 20/01/2015 16:04

Got a neg on a cheap POAS today. Relieved in some ways, as now we can focus on TTC.

gingerbreadmam · 20/01/2015 16:45

great news mrsb its a weird feeling but like u say can now ttc which is a better place to be at i think, good distraction if nothing else

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 10:27

just had to share this...been to occupaional health today as it was offered to me in return to work meetings. what a waste of time. i am sharing firstly to get it off my chest and secondly because i am trying to see the funniness in it...

so my miscarraige was referred to as 'your problem' and i was advised to see my gp as they will prescribe me some medication which wont change me but will make me feel better. apparently being at home is not good for me and it is better for me to be at work so i dont think about it (i wasnt asking to be at home btw this was just advised anyway). its not my mams fault she cant support me. its not my partners fault he is only 28 and cant support me. and she doesnt know the reason but there is definitely a reason i miscarried.

just some of the gems i have come away with. along with a report which says its not the miscarraige that is the problem but the way the nhs dealt with it. i never once said that infact i said a few times i had nothing but great care from the nhs. however i should just join bupa apparently. in her day it would never have been dealt with like that the worst that ever happened was people who miscarried put on same ward as people who had terminations.

anyway....gone on a bit there but ooopphh feels so good to let that out. luckily i was only after counselling again and she has agreed it so was worth it in the end. feel awfully sorry for anyone referred there after some useful advice Confused

wonkylegs · 21/01/2015 10:55

What a ridiculous stupid woman! How did you not call here stupid to her face - I'm not sure I'd be able to bite my tongue. I am angry on your behalf.
Also glad that I work for myself at this moment in time, it's lonely but at least I don't have to deal with numpties unless I want to.

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 11:12

i was sat crying through most of it. sounds silly but waiting to go into the meeting just made me think of waiting for scan at hospital. i have been having like flashbacks and weird crap so so glad i have got some counselling arranged.

i didnt know what to say i was completely baffled. their job is obviously to kp people in work no matter what, although as i said i wasnt trying to get out of work im happy to be hear. i was regaled with tales of her life and how her mam wasnt a support to her because of something and none of it was in anyway related to why i was there or why my mam cant support me which i thing she was trying to get at.

very random. i have seen her before so was already suspect of what was in store and rightfully so!

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 11:13

wow my spelling mistakes are horrendous today. here and think, woops.

mrsb0710 · 21/01/2015 11:43

Wow, ginger, I think you were brilliant just to get through that. I would have punched her politely told her where to go. What a twat!
Some people just don't get it, do they? Glad you are going to get some counselling though.

Caught up with some colleagues from work last night. Probably a bad idea once I heard about a few things happening. Just made me angry.

Hope you're feeling a bit better now, cant believe you had to go through that on top of everything else.

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 11:51

tbf it was optional but i thought i would go just incase they could help me in any way. turns out not although im sure i will find some of her words of wisdom amusing at some point!

cant stop thinking about it.

oh gosh what did they say? have you heard back from work yet? how are you coping with everything?

mrsb0710 · 21/01/2015 11:55

Haven't heard anything. Going to give them until end of month and then ring HR for it to be acknowledge in writing.
They've already reassigned my tasks, and included a pay rise I believe. I'm obviously better off out of there. Hoping for some more interviews next week!

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 12:28

oh no that is absolutely ridiculous, i really think you made the right decision. is it someone internal that has taken over then? hate places like that.

ooh good luck for your interviews!

mrsb0710 · 21/01/2015 15:09

Yes, internal. Oh well, trying not to dwell!
Wish we could all meet up in RL, I'm sure we'd enjoy wine/cake /cheese and have a good chat! :)
Where are you in your cycle ginger? I need DH to stay awake long enough to DTD lol. He's got 4 days off now, so watch out. Probably not anywhere near ovulation but it can't hurt trying

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 15:53

i dont bloody know my cycles well at all. i started af last monday so day 10 and usually do you ovulate around day 14 or something? so yeah i need to get dtd too.

sounds like my dp is like yours, likes his early nights a bit too much sometimes and only for sleep Grin

trying not to make it all about ttc too so i dont want to be like right we have to dtd today im going to have to be sly about it arent i haha?

im sure we'd have fun in a meet up we'd be on a one track topic about now i think though!

Imscarlet · 21/01/2015 16:02

Aw gingerbread. Silly woman. It's such a pity that she wasn't more helpful. I'm sure there is a miscarriage association in England, they would be very helpful in providing information on counselling. MrsB, you are well shot of that workplace. Don't look back.

Gingerbread, if you are interested in your cycles, monitoring cervical mucus is a really good way to identify when you are ovulating. If you google you will get plenty of images as for what to look for. You might ovulate day 14, I often don't ovulate until day 19 or 20 so would miss the boat totally if I only DTD around that time. Cycle tracker apps are great if you have a smartphone.

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 17:28

i have a cycle tracker but upgraded phone in august then fell pregnant september so dont even have any history to go off at min.

i kp reading about the cm but i wear pantyliners ever day (un-mumsnetty i know) so can never really monitor it. im just going to try to dtd every other day n lay upside down ont sofa for half hour after ha.

i emailed the miscarraige association, didnt find them very helpful they just advised me to join the forums which i did but people dont seem to frequent them much. i did have a lovely lady off the forums email me she was really nice so thay was nice. thank you for suggesting it though. hope ur ok.

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 17:28

i have a cycle tracker but upgraded phone in august then fell pregnant september so dont even have any history to go off at min.

i kp reading about the cm but i wear pantyliners ever day (un-mumsnetty i know) so can never really monitor it. im just going to try to dtd every other day n lay upside down ont sofa for half hour after ha.

i emailed the miscarraige association, didnt find them very helpful they just advised me to join the forums which i did but people dont seem to frequent them much. i did have a lovely lady off the forums email me she was really nice so thay was nice. thank you for suggesting it though. hope ur ok.

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 17:28

i have a cycle tracker but upgraded phone in august then fell pregnant september so dont even have any history to go off at min.

i kp reading about the cm but i wear pantyliners ever day (un-mumsnetty i know) so can never really monitor it. im just going to try to dtd every other day n lay upside down ont sofa for half hour after ha.

i emailed the miscarraige association, didnt find them very helpful they just advised me to join the forums which i did but people dont seem to frequent them much. i did have a lovely lady off the forums email me she was really nice so thay was nice. thank you for suggesting it though. hope ur ok.

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 17:28

i have a cycle tracker but upgraded phone in august then fell pregnant september so dont even have any history to go off at min.

i kp reading about the cm but i wear pantyliners ever day (un-mumsnetty i know) so can never really monitor it. im just going to try to dtd every other day n lay upside down ont sofa for half hour after ha.

i emailed the miscarraige association, didnt find them very helpful they just advised me to join the forums which i did but people dont seem to frequent them much. i did have a lovely lady off the forums email me she was really nice so thay was nice. thank you for suggesting it though. hope ur ok.

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 17:28

i have a cycle tracker but upgraded phone in august then fell pregnant september so dont even have any history to go off at min.

i kp reading about the cm but i wear pantyliners ever day (un-mumsnetty i know) so can never really monitor it. im just going to try to dtd every other day n lay upside down ont sofa for half hour after ha.

i emailed the miscarraige association, didnt find them very helpful they just advised me to join the forums which i did but people dont seem to frequent them much. i did have a lovely lady off the forums email me she was really nice so thay was nice. thank you for suggesting it though. hope ur ok.

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 17:28

i have a cycle tracker but upgraded phone in august then fell pregnant september so dont even have any history to go off at min.

i kp reading about the cm but i wear pantyliners ever day (un-mumsnetty i know) so can never really monitor it. im just going to try to dtd every other day n lay upside down ont sofa for half hour after ha.

i emailed the miscarraige association, didnt find them very helpful they just advised me to join the forums which i did but people dont seem to frequent them much. i did have a lovely lady off the forums email me she was really nice so thay was nice. thank you for suggesting it though. hope ur ok.

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 17:28

i have a cycle tracker but upgraded phone in august then fell pregnant september so dont even have any history to go off at min.

i kp reading about the cm but i wear pantyliners ever day (un-mumsnetty i know) so can never really monitor it. im just going to try to dtd every other day n lay upside down ont sofa for half hour after ha.

i emailed the miscarraige association, didnt find them very helpful they just advised me to join the forums which i did but people dont seem to frequent them much. i did have a lovely lady off the forums email me she was really nice so thay was nice. thank you for suggesting it though. hope ur ok.

gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2015 17:29

oh dear sorry Confused