total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today...

[SuperGlue]

It was very hard to put this into a title but basically I had a dating scan 11 days ago when i reckoned i ought to have been 9 weeks pg. In the scan there was an empty embryonic sac measuring 7 wks but no yolk or fetal pole. The sonographer said it was most likely a miscarriage but that I would need to come back in 10 days to see if there was any growth during that time as a protocol.

I have spent the past 11 days in total turmoil and limbo. Waiting any moment to miscarry etc.

Went back today for the second scan expecting to be taken in this week for a d&c only to find that the sac had grown in the 10 days and there was now a yolk, fetal pole and an embryo measuring just 6 weeks. No heartbeat but she said heartbeat would kick in, if it was going to, over the next 7 days. SO basically she could not confirm that it was a miscarriage at this stage but that we would need to go back this day next week to see if there is a heartbeat. If not it will be confirmed then.

She was fairly certain that there was a problem with the development of this pregnancy and that the most likely scenario would be that it would develop this far and trail off and we would not find a heartbeat on Monday.

I just can't get my head around it all. Even if my dates were out a bit, I didn't think it was possible to be out that much.

Has anyone else ever gone through this?

I feel like my head is about to explode trying to take it all in / work it all out and another 7 days waiting stretches out in front of me..........

Fantastic news Gin! I must have something in my eye . I'm so glad that somebody finally got good news on this thread. Fingers crossed the tide has turned and a wave of good luck is heading this way for all of you who are ttc again (Is that everyone except me?!).

Thank you again girls. I'm over the moon and hope he / she hangs on in there and keeps growing.

Wonky I'm glad your AF showed up. Fingers crossed you're out the other side now.

How is everyone today?

(BTW I'm going to name change soon as have posted a lot of identifiable info here over the past few days and don't want to out myself)

ahh wonky i got my af beginning of week and know exactly how you feel its weird but so good. hope u r ok.

ooh yes i hope it is a change in all the luck too, fingers crossed. wohoo gin soooo pleased .

Put my letter in the post today....feel less stressed about some things, and more about others. But I was on the phone to my mum for over an hour today, and she helped put a lot of things into perspective.

My body is giving me all the signs that ovulation is imminent...if I counted by ERPC as day 1, that would make sense. I've not done a test to see if its BFN yet, but I shall tomorrow. Not holding out hope on this WTF cycle, but it cant hurt to DTD.

I feel a lot brighter, physically and emotionally, I think the decision about work has helped with that.

Gin - please keep us updated, its so nice that you have had such good news.

mrsb i was almost exactly yhe same. my af was almost exactly 4 wks after ERPC. i also felt like i was ovulating just over a week ago. i didnt expect things to get back to normal that quickly.

you will be feeling a sense of relief no doubt, have u decided on taking another job yet or are you going to hold out for a while.?

Congratulations GinFace!

Mrsb I intend to hang around here - you girls are lovely.

How do you feel now you've sent the letter off?

I feel less stressed about some things, and nor about others!
Be interesting to see if I get a response.

Nice to be at home for a bit though, to relax, catch up on housework, and walk the dog.

Got some more jobs to apply to also, so that will keep me busy.

First time in my life that I cant wait for AF, want to get started on TTC. For now, I don't think DH is finding it to difficult to continue practising. Haha.

Clearblue POAS says 1-2 weeks. Not happy. Shall I just wait a week and retest and see GP if its still BFP? funny, how I wanted it to be a BFN so we could start again.
Emotional now. Stupid body.

Oh mrsb...what a headfuck (for want of a better phrase). I wish you could just have a fresh start and be out the other side.

how long since erpc mrsb? that is shit no wonder u feel crappy. i would wait a week and do a first morning wee. your levels may just be dropping still.

i duno how it works, my body had retained products but kept trying to get rid of them so i would hope as you have been ok since erpc you dont have any retained products, i hope anyway.

you sound positive about your resignation im pleased for you maybe you needed something like this to push you in the right direction.

just to add mrsb my hospital said test after 3 weeks which i was surprised about as when they thought i would mc naturally they told me 2 weeks so maybe it is something to do wih the erpc procedure.

Headfuck describes it perfectly!
Trying not to let it get to me. Will try next week. I know logically why it's happened, but it's still shitty. And I was just starting to feel a bit brighter.

just think another free week of not worrying about what goes into your body ha!

i am having a last alcohol hurah today as this time next week i could be pregnant (unlikely i know but id rather think like that) so next week i am eating healthy, not drinking and laying down feet in the air for half hour after everytime dtd as well as feeding myself folic acid and ferrous sulphate every morning ha. all from the woman who thinks i will be cool about ttc again woops

Haha. Same wavelength ginger. Good plan. Enjoying a nice glass of red now.
I know I'll try to be cool about TTC, but we all know there will be lots of handholding needed on this thread. Thank goodness for you all!

well that is just perfect for a friday night mrsb especially after the week you have had.

i know i soooo think i am in the if it happens it happens mindset but i have already convinced myself i have a feeling about this month, i will soon be brought crashing down to reality no doubt but theres nothing wrong with a bit of positive thinking.

on a side note i joined actimil and cow and gate last time and received a gorgeous little polar bear and cow beany teddy. theyre stuffed away in a drawer now and everytime i see them i get upset. my mams friend just had a baby and i thought i might pass them her way (altho wasnt sure if was bit weird) but my dp said no he wants to keep them for when we have a baby as a kind of gift from big bro / sis. i dont know if i feel like that. i hope when i do get my baby this will all just be a sad memory and i wont think of it like that. whats your thoughts?

i dont want to give away if will upset dp but tbh when i was pregnant everytime i saw a beautiful teddy i wanted to buy but didnt as had those 2 and kept thinking how many teddies does a baby need.

I have a cow from them too. It gives me hope, something to focus on and know that sooner rather then later we will be having sleepless nights and lots of stinky diapers!
Hold on to them, it may just help.
We'll be strong together, just seems no one else understands unless they've been here.
One day, this will all be a memory, we will never forget, but like grief, it gets a little easier. I forget it's not even been 3 weeks yet and I shouldn't beat myself up for not feeling normal.

mrsb its been no time at all for you. feel what u need to, letting it all out is what moves us forward. its been a while for me now since i knew what was going on but i still get upset most days but now its maybe just once a day, in the beginning it felt like it would never end so it does and is getting better.

thank you, i will keep them. might move them to dps drawer for now though ha. its cute isnt it?

Ginger, it's a bit like breaking up with a boyfriend. It's the only way I can think of to describe it. Devastating at the time, but you do move on and then you fall in love with someone and the memory of the old boyfriend is still there obviously but you don't feel the need to revisit it much. Might pop into your head from time to time and you will feel very compassionate towards people who you hear have the same experience. That's how it was for me anyway until I got to revisit it again.

MrsB, so sorry you haven't got a BFN yet. However, I'd say I ovulated fairly shortly after a time when I would have gotten a bfn, and everyone else's AF's seem to be coming back at around the 4 weeks too which is a good sign.

imscarlet that is an excellent description of the prcess and entirely how i expect to feel on time. i know itll never go away but one day it will feel more of a learning curve and as you say hopefully i will fall back on the experience when helping or understanding others. thanks scarlett.

Thanks scarlet - excellent description about how we feel, and also put my mind at ease about ovulating and AF.

My newest nephew has just arrived into the world. I'm delighted for my sister and can't wait to meet him but by god is it going to be difficult not to cry every time I see him. I'm feeling very emotional about the whole thing.

aww chubby what a difficult day for yu. glad he has had a safe arrival. do you think it might change when you actually see him? im not sure how id feel i know i coo over babys on the telly but i havent had to see any in real life just yet.

are you planning on trying again?

Oh chubby, bittersweet news. I've actually been fine with my friend's baby despite thinking I wouldn't be. I think their damn cuteness won me over.