total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today...

[SuperGlue]

It was very hard to put this into a title but basically I had a dating scan 11 days ago when i reckoned i ought to have been 9 weeks pg. In the scan there was an empty embryonic sac measuring 7 wks but no yolk or fetal pole. The sonographer said it was most likely a miscarriage but that I would need to come back in 10 days to see if there was any growth during that time as a protocol.

I have spent the past 11 days in total turmoil and limbo. Waiting any moment to miscarry etc.

Went back today for the second scan expecting to be taken in this week for a d&c only to find that the sac had grown in the 10 days and there was now a yolk, fetal pole and an embryo measuring just 6 weeks. No heartbeat but she said heartbeat would kick in, if it was going to, over the next 7 days. SO basically she could not confirm that it was a miscarriage at this stage but that we would need to go back this day next week to see if there is a heartbeat. If not it will be confirmed then.

She was fairly certain that there was a problem with the development of this pregnancy and that the most likely scenario would be that it would develop this far and trail off and we would not find a heartbeat on Monday.

I just can't get my head around it all. Even if my dates were out a bit, I didn't think it was possible to be out that much.

Has anyone else ever gone through this?

I feel like my head is about to explode trying to take it all in / work it all out and another 7 days waiting stretches out in front of me..........

Thank you Super. And everyone else who has offered support - means so much.

Sorry about your tough day Super.
Keeping busy works well for me Mrsb.
I've had a normal weekend. Sometimes it feels as if this whole mc thing isn't real. And then I suddenly remember that it's still here, waiting to happen.

super, im so sorry that u had a tough day on ur dds birthday. its amazing u have one dd already but if u wanted another then i imagine u feel the same as anyone else who wanted a baby. i hope youve been feeling a little better since the day haa passed. 4 weeks is no time at all. hopefully it will ease a bit as time goes on.

i watched benidorm christmas special lasnite where mel dies. someone dieing on a tv programme was almost enough to start those tears that feel like theyre never going to stop, i managed to pull it back together though. its funny what can set it off. it really is a grieving process.

mrsb i am thinking of u today. i hope u get some good news. you definitely need to press for another scan. fingers crossed.

They wouldn't re scan today as it's not long enough. I have to go back Wednesday and discuss from there. No one even really spoke to me privately, I was a mess and a lovely midwife spoke to me,but said just to wait for the scan and the doctor in EPAU. So, still in limbo. Awful

Ok Mrsb. I get the impression they are planning to rescan you though after a suitable interval? That's for the best really as a second scan too soon could just prove as inconclusive as the first.
I know it's hard to deal with but a lot of this mc thing is about the waiting. Surprisingly our bodies take a long time to recognise when something is wrong.
But in your case there is still hope, not all babies grow at a uniform rate in the very early weeks. You can read on mn lots of accounts of women who were told their baby was behind dates, only to find they had caught up by the second trimester.
Let's hope you see a heartbeat when they do scan you again.
I know it's hard to wait, and especially shocking in a first pregnancy. But just hang on and hope, while at the same time preparing yourself for bad news.
Regarding the lack of privacy, yes that's a common complaint. That's just how it is very often. It's nothing personal to you. So sorry.

Yes, they said they would scan Wednesday and hope it is conclusive.

I just want it over now, one way or another, its so emotionally draining.

Popped into work to update them, all they could say was 'make sure you get a doctors note', gee, thanks.

Taking time to let it all sink in and preparing to absorb the news and information on Wednesday.

I'm sorry MrsB you are going through this too. It is so horrible waiting.
I've gone out for the first time on my own since my erpc as DH is back at work and I needed to do Christmas food shop.
Well it's truly wiped me out. I've just bribed6yo DS to put it all away with me directing from a chair. I think the GA affected me more than I realised.
Emotionally slightly worse as I keep tearing up, I think it's because it's now final and also because we were going to announce our happy news in a few days time and now we're not. And everything keeps reminding me of that.
I think I'll be better when my dad gets here and we get distracted by other things.
Hope you are all getting distracted by better things & Christmas Cheer

MrsB that was a tough morning, it is so hard to be sent away for another wait. I don't understand why you were called back this morning at all so. Still, today's appointment is done now and all you can do is wait it out till Wednesday. I still have my fingers crossed for you. This is a great place to vent frustrations and fears which can be hard to articulate elsewhere, so please do keep posting if you are finding that it helps. Will be thinking of you. I found lots of rubbish magazines and lolling on the sofa / in bed helped at this stage for me, but others found it easier to keep busy..

Wonky I have been thinking about you. You have been though the mill physically and emotionally and it IS really exhausting. I think you are great for braving christmas grocery shopping and how cute that your ds is helping (even if it is a bribe!!) Hope you have the kettle on, a nice treat to go with it and your feet up for an hour of cuddling on the sofa with a christmas movie - sod everything else, it will be fine! I am sure you will be delighted to see your dad. I really get where you are coming from with the tearing up side of things, i was a wreck on Saturday as I kept thinking back to when dd was born that day 9 years before and how I had really hoped to experience that again.

But I am ok(ish) again now and we are done with all our pre-christmas visiting now, after a really hectic weekend. I finish work tomorrow and then it is just the three of us for a lovely relaxed couple of days and I am actually looking forward to it. I think I need a bit of space from people (relatives) as they are inevitably saying the wrong thing and rubbing me up the wrong way, or not mentioning it at all (that's you MIL) and I am having to slap on the 'indifferent' face all the time and it is tiring. I just want to be with dh and dd. He can read me like a book and rarely says the wrong thing to me so it is very restful being with him.

ginger, chubby have been thinking about you two, hope you are keeping the heads above water?

fromwest I do not know how you are still hanging in there but I hope you manage to to get through christmas ok. x

Better go, I am in work now and have lots to do despite my procrastination!

super I'm just frustrated and upset that no one has explained anything to us. Is there a possibility that its just too early? What are the protocols/measurements for? Just annoyed. I don't have false hope, just not enough information. Planning to spend the day doing nothing.

DH is working Xmas and boxing day, we're meant to see family on the weekend, but at this point, I don't even want to do that.

Just to be prepared for the worst on Wednesday - what are my rights for managing a MMC. Id rather just have an ERPC and recover rather than waiting for nature to take course.

They might not offer an erpc straight off but you can ask for one and they should let you have it if they have confirmed miscarriage after a second or third scan & you meet the criteria.
Usually the protocol is natural management first, which they usually include the waiting for scans time, then medical, then surgical but you can choose which way you are comfortable with & change your mind if it's not working for you physically or mentally.
The main constraints seem to be for booking you in for medical management (if they do it in the hospital, mine did it at home) or for surgery as they obviously need a space for you. Some hospitals don't seem to be very good at communicating this to women but there is a NICE protocol which you can google for miscarriage care.

Thanks wonky. I'm hoping it doesn't come to that, but its seeming more and more likely.

At my hospital you can request either medical management or surgery, they seem to assume women will choose the surgery actually, but have said to me it is totally my choice. They also seem willing to book in as soon as the miscarriage is confirmed, although again they do allow women to wait as well.
I think the main issue for you might be the time of year, they won't be able to book you in for the end of the week, whereas in a normal week they might have been able to offer you that.
Been having a clear out of my wardrobe this morning. Found some baby muslins and the sling buried in there. Hmmm. Will be moving those to the loft in hope of better times ahead.
I have another appt at EPU tomorrow. They are going to scan me again. I suspect the cyst has been growing and my hormones are haywire. I am looking more bloated and yet my weight hasn't changed, and now I have sore breasts as well, which I didn't have before. And even the spotting has all but disappeared. My body and I do not seem to be in the same wavelength at the moment.
Take it easy Wonky, my DH had a GA for a minor op on his ear and he was sleepy for about a week afterwards.
Take care everyone.

Oh MrsB your post has really brought back all the memories of feeling EXACTLY like you - not enough information of what to expect, not wanting to wait and wait for nature to take its course, and feeling terrified and angry and very frustrated. It is just so hard. If you can bear to read a few of the threads here, it can be very useful.

Thanks ladies. I know we are all going through our own, horrible journeys, but its nice that we can come together for support.

MrsB, there have been cases where an early scan was simply too early where the hospital said it was a m/c and something just made the women wait and ask for a rescan and turns out all is ok. It is now normal protocol to leave a week between scans as there is a 'normal' amount of growth that would be expected in a week. In the case of a m/c there will be no growth and there will be no heartbeat present and they can then conclusively say it is a m/c. The waiting is tough, but it is worth it just in case. You just don't know, you could be one of the lucky ones. Quick post from a supermarket car park but thinking of you all!!

mrsb i think in these few days u can keep some hope, as others have said they may just have it wrong. i will keep my fingers crossed for wednesday for u.

if it helps, i didnt discuss any options with my hospital until they had confirmed the worst at the rescan and as others have already advised each hospital seems to operate differently. my hospital prefer to let things happen naturally so i was left a while. i was then offered medical and erpc would have been the next step. they didnt really say but i think if there is something you prefer you can ask / push for it. i think if you used 'psychological' reasons you would certainly get what you want.

someone kindly postes a link to a fact sheet about the different options which i read in my own time when i was upto it. if you feel that would be helpful it is available on the miscarraige association website.

wonky i was shattered after the erpc. had mine sunday and id say it was friday before i properly felt like me again. even now i am getting a bit breathless if i walk fast / far. must take a while to wear off. woke up wirh a headache for days too. its been a few days now so hopefully you will pick up real soon.

thanks super im well now and glad its all over! good to hear how everyone else is getting on. hope christmas will be a nice distraction for you all!

Trying to have hope,just hard when the medical team are so negative about it too. They wouldn't even do comparison bloods as she said they'd be useless.
Shall take it one day at a time, and go see my GP after Xmas for some time off if needed.

Hoping beyond hope that we have something to celebrate for Christmas.

Women sure as resilient, I have learnt that much since being on this thread.

Take as much time as you need and don't feel one but guilty about it. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst - that was my granny's motto and something I live by. I'll be checking in to see how you get on. The very best of luck on Wednesday. We'll be here, hoping and praying for you.

i know what you mean! terrible times, i too hope u have something to celebrate on christmas day. thoughts r with u.

So, I had another scan at the hospital this afternoon. This is so weird, I can hardly get my head round it. The scan showed the sacs have shrunk quite a bit, and there is bleeding into the sacs. The cyst has also shrunk. The lady doing the scan called a colleague in for a second opinion and the senior colleague said there is quite a bit of blood so I may start bleeding soon.
That was the scan. After another wait I saw the doctor. The doctor said that as what remains is so small and insignificant no further action needs to be taken, I can just wait for my period and expect it to be heavy.
I was so surprised, I asked the doctor how this could be, at the last scan two weeks ago the sacs were still both there and I've had no significant bleeding since. Just one morning I needed a pad for a few hours, just one regular pad and it didn't even get full. She said that might have been it!!!
So, the doctor said that's all done now. My pregnancy test today was faintly positive, so I have to retest in three weeks and I should get a negative (if it's not negative by then I have to seek medical attention again).
So, I hardly know what to think! Of course I'm happy, in the sense that I've managed to have a miscarriage without actually feeling it. But it seems so odd! All of a sudden I'm in the position of being ready to move on and waiting for my first period post miscarriage. I can't quite believe it yet. I'm still expecting some massive bleed to creep up on me unexpectedly. But maybe that will just turn out to be a period?!
Will be thinking of you tomorrow MrsB. Hope the rest of you ladies are doing ok.

west, my sack shrunk between scans. was a bit bigger than yours hence all the troubles i guess but definitely decreased significantly in the two weeks between scans. the sonographer said its normal once the body has realised that the pregnancy is no longer viable.

i really hope that is it for you. hard that youve waited all this time to know what is going on tho. i hope u can now relax a little just in time for christmas.

for u mrsb. let us know how u get on. will be thinking of u.

Have rung NHS and have an out of hours appointment at 10:30. Feel extremely nauseous, clammy and feverish. Had small amount of brown spotting, but some other discharge also, and lower back pain. No real abdo pain, just feel off.
Not sure if its something sinister going on, or just a major case of stress/anxiety.
Hoping they give me a good checkover and take me seriously. Just trying to relax for now and not get worked up.

MrsB, you poor thing. They will take you seriously. Mind yourself and make sure to bring someone with you.

West, that sounds promising. I really hope that's it and you are waiting on your period. Only time will tell.

evening everyone! I am finally on hols and very happy with that.
west I really really hope that that is IT for you. I asked this before I think but is it possible to reabsorb sacs and stuff? I don't know, but I guess it might be.

mrsb hope you are bearing up ok?

It was 4 weeks on Monday since my MC and I started my period today, very light so far but definitely it. Brilliant. Just in time for Christmas. I would just rather be pregnant. But hey ho.

I am so glad to be finished work now.....

Will check in tomorrow to see how you are all doing x

Hope you get properly checked out MrsB.
Super, a period is no fun, but i'd take it as a reassurance, health wise it's a good sign. Trying to see the bright side.
I think sacs can get reabsorbed. I don't know if that's happened to me. They didn't mention that. I guess I will never really understand what's gone on inside over all these weeks. I'm still trying to comprehend how I could have had a mc which was lighter than a period.
Let us know how you get on Mrsb