total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today...

[SuperGlue]

It was very hard to put this into a title but basically I had a dating scan 11 days ago when i reckoned i ought to have been 9 weeks pg. In the scan there was an empty embryonic sac measuring 7 wks but no yolk or fetal pole. The sonographer said it was most likely a miscarriage but that I would need to come back in 10 days to see if there was any growth during that time as a protocol.

I have spent the past 11 days in total turmoil and limbo. Waiting any moment to miscarry etc.

Went back today for the second scan expecting to be taken in this week for a d&c only to find that the sac had grown in the 10 days and there was now a yolk, fetal pole and an embryo measuring just 6 weeks. No heartbeat but she said heartbeat would kick in, if it was going to, over the next 7 days. SO basically she could not confirm that it was a miscarriage at this stage but that we would need to go back this day next week to see if there is a heartbeat. If not it will be confirmed then.

She was fairly certain that there was a problem with the development of this pregnancy and that the most likely scenario would be that it would develop this far and trail off and we would not find a heartbeat on Monday.

I just can't get my head around it all. Even if my dates were out a bit, I didn't think it was possible to be out that much.

Has anyone else ever gone through this?

I feel like my head is about to explode trying to take it all in / work it all out and another 7 days waiting stretches out in front of me..........

aww wonky i am so glad you are home and ok. they let my partner onto the ward too to give me a bit of comfort afterwards.

hope ur dp is taking good care of you tonite.

good luck with he fertility tests scarlet i know they r a while off yet but hopefully can bring you some good news.

Oh that's good news Wonky. Now you can go into rest and recuperate mode along with Ginger.
In your case Scarlet I guess you want to get everything in place for a medicated cycle so when the time is right everything goes to plan.
I hope it all works out.

Finally having a drink tonight with close family and looking forward to a boozy Christmas. Just wanted to say thank you to you lovely women. I can't tell you what your support has meant to me. You have been there every step of the way for me and I knowyou are anonymous people behind a keyboard but you honestly mean the world to me and I wish every thing you wish for in the coming few months. Sometimes we are keyboard warriors and sometimes we are the backbone that keeps us going through the hard times and you have all been my backbone. Sorry for the drunken ramblings!! I am so glad to have joined this thread!!

Glad it went okay and you're home now Wonky. Don't worry about getting upset, it's a terrible ordeal you've been through and emotions are bound to be raw.

It's lovely that a lot of you are beginning to look to the future and make plans for trying again. I wish you the best of luck and hope that by next Christmas you either have healthy babies in your arms or beautiful bumps growing.

I'm not going to try again.
The last 7+ years of my life have revolved around my desperation for another child and fertility tests, fertility treatment, multiple miscarriages, surgeries, endless hospital appointments etc have all taken their toll on me both emotionally and physically. I'm very lucky to have my wonderful DS and it's time I stopped putting my life on hold and started living. DH has agreed to a vasectomy and we're planning a big holiday for the 3 of us in the summer time. All the baby things I'd held onto for so long are going to given away. My sister is expecting her first child next month and most things will go to her.

Ahh Chubby, that's tough. It's hard to make that decision, but now it's made you will feel better I think.
I'm still willing to give it another go, but I'm thinking that if I have another long miscarriage like these last two I will call it a day. I think I will know at that point that I've passed my time.
I joke to DH, just "one last miscarriage".
This has been a great thread for me too. I think it's drawing to it's close now, as everyone (except me) has reached recovery stage and now with Christmas coming minds will be turning to happier things. We need to put all this behind us now, not forget, but file it in memories and live in a happier moment.

I hope that even when this thread is not needed as much it will continue to be updated as you all get pregnant again.
I will be hiding most pregnancy threads but would love to know how you all get on in the future and will keep this in my watch list.
I know I sound like a big saddo but this thread has been a real lifeline for me and I feel like you've all become friends rather than strangers on an Internet forum.
It genuinely hurts my heart that every single one of us has had bad news in the last few months and I will cross my fingers and raise a glass of bubbly each time one of you announce your next pregnancy. (with any luck you'll get me very, very drunk!) x

Awww, Chubby!
I will be posting my updates here anyway. It's a good idea to even post pregnancy updates too, I hadn't thought of that.

aww chubby its awful to make the decision i imagine but at least u know now and all the what ifs and what can go wrongs wont haunt you. you sound like you have a lovely little family and a holiday is certainly something to look forward to.

super i agree whats one more mc haha? terrible really but were british and humour gets you through!

i hope everyone else is ok. today is my first day of feeling back to normal since the op am so glad. can put everything behind me now.

i look forward to all the updates.

Hello all, please don't think I have forgotten about you all. We were in London last weekend, it was a great break and so festive and energetic that it totally distracted me. I found it very soothing to have my thoughts utterly absorbed for 3 days. DD had a ball there too. Then I got back and work was mental trying wrap up for christmas, work drinks / dinner etc.

Today is our wedding anniversary, but dh is away working and won't be back till very late tonight, I have the cava chilling. So it has been hectic. But I have been thinking of each one of you all the time.

ginger I just can't believe the horror you have been through, everything that I had dreaded and feared actually happened to you and I think you are extremely brave the way you handled it all. You so deserve a break now after all that. Happy Birthday by the way, I truly hope that you are being spoiled rotten and that 2015 is YOUR year xxx

wonky although I hate reading the updates in one way from knowing the hurt behind everyones posts, I am so glad that you are out the other side and can start to recover now. It is just shit, there is no two ways about it, and all you can do is grit your teeth and get on with it, but I think the rawness does fade a bit. I hope you will have a time to take it easy over the holidays now.

fromwest I can't believe you are still hanging in there you poor thing - did they scan you recently, is there any chance you might have reabsorbed the sacs (is that even a possibility? I don't know) I hope you are ok with that hanging over you over the holidays, I know I would be a wreck but you seem so strong. Will be thinking of you - please keep us posted x

chubby you sound sad and resigned and I totally get that. I am sort of in the same boat. Have spent 7 years wishing and hoping and having treatments and all for nothing, except low-grade guilt that I have wasted so much of dds little life wishing for more, when she is more than enough. I don't know what we are going to do yet, haven't had the heart to discuss it just yet. I will be thinking of you and hoping that now you have decided that you find peace in your own thoughts. It is just so hard to process.

sasha, your blog made me cry. It is all so bloody familiar. Thank you for sharing. Hope you are doing ok?

If I have missed anyone please forgive me, it's been a long day and I am tired now. I am finding it so hard to get into the christmas spirit this year (normally I love it) but I sort of have to for dd, though I feel it is very half hearted this year. It is three weeks now since it happened and I feel like most people have forgotten and it is business as usual. It makes me sad inside. I think of that tiny baby every single day and I miss it every single day and I wish with all my heart it could have been different. I think I will feel like this for the rest of my life.

This thread kept me sane during the absolute worst time of my life and I am so grateful to you all and thank you for sharing and wish that none of us had to go through any of this in the first place. I certainly will keep posting - probably just talking to myself in the end!

ahh super i directed my last comment at u then read ur update and realised it was west i meant woops!

so glad you had a lovely break and i hope it was a good distraction for you. i can imagine especially after trying all that time it will take a while to decide how you want to go forward. take your time and be kind to yourself.

i must admit everything that could go wrong seemed to with me but on the positive side as ive never given birth before, when i got my bfp i got the fear too. i was so scared of hospitals but i coped and i know i will when the time comes to have a baby! i did momentarily think after the weekend do i want to risk all this again but if thats as bad as it gets versus everything going well its still worth the risk.

i know most of us arent in the mood for chrismtas but i hope it wains between now and then. i have just made plans to go to church christmas eve with one of my best friends, i will go and have a little thought for what may have been and then try and put it to one side for the big day. anyway jus thought id share incase anyone else might find some comfort in that.

No expert at all. But my two pence worth is as others say that you had a chemical pregnancy (ie one which didn't progress) and that what was seen on the scan today was a new pregnancy.

So I do think you should stay positive.

Also when the heart beat is supposed to start isn't entirely clear. It can be much earlier or much later than they say.

With DS, I knew exactly what my dates were and exactly when I fell with him (bfp at 8dpo v faint).
Had a scan at 5 weeks and 2 days and consultant said we wouldn't see much.
Well saw everything and a heartbeat. Consultant called two other doctors in to see as they said it was rare to see a heart beat so early.

So as much as they have guides they don't know anything with certainty.

I hope you manage to stay busy and calm over the weekend.

Thanks ginger, I think it is lovely that you are going to church (and I am not religious at all) when we were in London we had breakfast one morning in the crypt of St Martins in the Field and we had a quick look in the church afterwards and I lit a candle there for our lost baby and it was comforting.

MrsFlorrick I am not sure if you posted on the wrong thread or not? I am guessing you did......

im not either but all of this has made me think of turning to church just for some comfort i think. bit of a hypocrite too as i am christened and would have had my baby christened so if i start going now and again at least i wont feel as much of a hypocrite when the time comes.

that sounds lovely what you did and im glad u got some comfort from it.

Hi ladies. Any help/support/advice would be appreciated right now. Have gone from the joys of being pregnant, to uncertainty, despair, confusion.
DH and I went for an early scan tonight, just to make sure all was ok with this first pregnancy.

My LMP put me at 7+4, but it was firstAF after implant removal, so not sure cycle length. Think I ovulated around 11 Nov, BFP 26 Nov.

CRL was 6.3 and sac 20mm. No heartbeat on vagjnal scan.

Absolute emotional wreck. could my dates be out? They are assuming MMC and I have to go to hospital on Monday to discuss options.

Hope and pray that it is ok and just early, or shall I just accept that this has not worked this time.

So.confused and my mum is in Australia - much too far away right now.

Not even sure where to go from here.

Hi mrsb firstly I am so so sorry you are going through this. It is so crap. I don't know if your dates are out or not but given that you do have a little uncertainty as to how long the cycle was, and the discrepency is not too great in dates perhaps you have more of a chance of it being a dating error. I am surprised they did not ask you to come back in a week or 10 days to check growth as this seems to be the approach they took with most of us in all the various hospitals.

Also, if the baby is measuring 6+3 it may simply have been too soon to see a heartbeat, that is what I was told when mine measured 6+1.

I know how hard it is and there is no doubt about it the uncertain waiting is a form of hell. Hopefully when you go back on monday they might scan you again - you would be 8 weeks by your dates and fingers crossed 6+6 by then so you might have a different result. I will have everything crossed for you.

If it does turn out to be bad news you will get lots of support here so please do keep posting if you are up to it. It can feel like a very isolating, lonely time when you are going through it and especially with your mum away. We will hold your hand virtually - hugs to you tonight x

mrsb so sorry you are in what was known to us as limbo land. monday does seem quite quick to go back. if you google it you will find out how much growth there should be per day. i felt this gave me reassurance when i had my rescan as you can be confident in what they tell you.

as super says it may just be too early to see a heartbeat and theyre have been stories on here where peoples babys have just grown at different rates.

i dont want to build your hopes up but after the first scan i think its ok to have a bit. try anf rest (if you can) between now and monday. thinking of you. if you have any questions pls ask.

Mrsb sorry to read your story. You say you went for an early scan just to make sure - was this a private scan? Are you in the Uk?
In my experience the NHS is very cautious about confirming miscarriage. They will do a repeat scan after a week or so in order to compare the results, as Super said.
Heartbeats do not always show up so early and rushing to conclusions after early scans has led to misdiagnosed miscarriage in the past (there is a whole website dedicated to that topic).
I would advise you to insist on a second scan at least seven days after the first one. If there has been no growth between the scans then you would be sure of mc. I know this means a period of limbo over Christmas which you will have to struggle with, but it is the safest course of action.
I don't know how much, if any, of this thread you have waded through, but in my case the EPU has erred very much on the side of caution. They say that they do not take dates into consideration, just their scans, so until they can clearly see that a pregnancy is not developing after sufficient time they will not confirm mc.
You could also request a blood test. If your pregnancy is viable your hormone levels will be doubling every 48 hours. If it has failed they will be dropping.
Hang in there. Don't let them rush you into any decisions.

How are you doing this morning mrs? I am sure your head is all over the place.

Morning ladies, hope you are all hanging in there today? It's our dd's b'day today so will be busy with all that today. Woke up in odd form but hey ho just have to get through the day with a smile plastered to my face. More coffee is needed! And wine later.

Thank you ladies, just knowing I have support from complete strangers is making me all emotional.

DH and I had a restless night, even our puppy wouldn't sleep - must know something isn't right.

I'm going to go in Monday and try and be positive - not false hope, but hope that the consultant may have jumped to the conclusion too early.
I've also read that although the sac may not match the fetal size, that it is still early days yet.

I'm not quite ready to grieve yet, or to give up. Limbo sucks, we all know the statistics of pregnancy loss, but I'm not quite ready to out myself on the list.

I don't think that's denial, I know if it is worse case scenario it will be one of the hardest things I have ever done.

Just wanted to say thank you, you have cleared my mind a bit, I'm not really religious, but perhaps there is some hope. I really hope NHS pulls through this time and I'll push for bloods and re scan at a later date.
Shall keep you updated, I still feel pregnant - sore boobs, slight nausea. Have phoned work and not going back until new year, just cant face it right now.

I think that sounds like a good plan Mrs and having some time off work now is good. Try to rest up as much as you can, emotional upheaval is exhausting I found. Buy some trashy magazines, chocolate, whatever and make it cosy for yourself and watch lots of movies - these are things I tried when in that limbo phase. We will be rooting for you on Monday - keep us posted

When I had my scan they were able to conclusively say that I had a m/c because I was measuring over 7mm and at over 7mm a heartbeat should be detected. You are not measuring over 7mm so it might just be a little early MrsB. I really hope it is for you.

Sorry you've had to join this thread MrsB.

MrsB how did you get on since? Hope the waiting is not too insufferable?

We have had a very busy weekend with dd's b'day yesterday, I found it an unexpectedly hard day and there were tears on more than one occasion. Think it was a combination of feeling that we would only ever celebrate one child's birthday (and i KNOW we are lucky to have this much, please don't get me wrong) and the fact that over the 9 wks of pregnancy before I knew there was a problem I imagined celebrating this one last birthday with dd as an only child and how I would be 16 weeks, most likely with a bump for that day.

Emotionally I find I am very up and down. It will be 4 weeks tomorrow. In some ways it is like the blink of an eye and in others it feels like an eternity since I was excitedly pregnant.

Hope you are all doing ok this weekend?

Hi super. My DH has been amazing, and we managed to get.out of the house and relax a bit. Have also done some Christmas decorating, just need to feel normal.

I feel fine - dreading every twinge and pain though. Still feel nauseous and tired, but haven't slept much.

Just want to get more info tomorrow and go from there.

Sorry you had such an up and down day.

It is great that you did all that today and your dh sounds great. I am ok again today and we did our xmas visit to the inlaws which was ok.

Best of luck tomorrow, I will be thinking of you and will check in to see how you got on. We will be here to cheer with you if it is good news (fingers crossed) or hold your hand otherwise x