total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today...

[SuperGlue]

It was very hard to put this into a title but basically I had a dating scan 11 days ago when i reckoned i ought to have been 9 weeks pg. In the scan there was an empty embryonic sac measuring 7 wks but no yolk or fetal pole. The sonographer said it was most likely a miscarriage but that I would need to come back in 10 days to see if there was any growth during that time as a protocol.

I have spent the past 11 days in total turmoil and limbo. Waiting any moment to miscarry etc.

Went back today for the second scan expecting to be taken in this week for a d&c only to find that the sac had grown in the 10 days and there was now a yolk, fetal pole and an embryo measuring just 6 weeks. No heartbeat but she said heartbeat would kick in, if it was going to, over the next 7 days. SO basically she could not confirm that it was a miscarriage at this stage but that we would need to go back this day next week to see if there is a heartbeat. If not it will be confirmed then.

She was fairly certain that there was a problem with the development of this pregnancy and that the most likely scenario would be that it would develop this far and trail off and we would not find a heartbeat on Monday.

I just can't get my head around it all. Even if my dates were out a bit, I didn't think it was possible to be out that much.

Has anyone else ever gone through this?

I feel like my head is about to explode trying to take it all in / work it all out and another 7 days waiting stretches out in front of me..........

I am heading to bed now - up at 4am to get to airport.

Hope my comments re: abortion didn't offend anyone, I totally accept that I am one huge ball of unreasonableness right now.

Wonky - it is indeed sods law but the bleeding could be a slow burner and you might still be ok for wed. I started spotting on a wed and did not actually mc until 7am mon morn (and I had my hosp app 11am that mon). I hope you are ok.

God, I don't even know any of you, but everytime one of you updates that it is happening I really have my heart in my mouth and am worried for you all. How can that even happen?? I feel we have all shared such a private, life-changing, emotional thing that (speaking for myself anyway) I have not shared with more than a handful in real life.

I am going to be lost without this thread!

ginger my consultant tills me that medical management is only successful in about 60% of cases so it's likely that the two of you were just the unlucky but statistically-likely 40%.

Wonky the good news is no matter what happens, you have an end in sight now. Just take care of yourself, take iron and relax. Would you rather not have the erpc? My bleeding starting on the Sunday and I miscarried naturally on the Wednesday evening. Have my schedule erpc anyway because there was a bit of tissue left. After the fairly tough natural mc it seemed unfair to have to have surgery too but it was good that I didn't have to wait any longer for the last bit to pass naturally- it was just over. Hope you are doing ok.

wow 40% is a big number really. fancy being a statistic all the way through this!

no offence re abortion super its there for a reason. ive found myself having guilty thoughts over people that do it and have a smooth ride after what all us have been through on this thread. seems everyone has has problems.

glad the erpc brought things to a close for you. i hope u r feeling better now.

super have a fantastic trip hope it is a good distraction for you.

Well that amounted to not a lot. One pad in a few minutes then nothing at all over night or this morning. So glad Weds booked in otherwise I'd be going mad.
Have been up & down with a poorly 6yo all night (nasty cough) so I'm kinda glad nothing started really.
I'm not sure where that statistic on effectiveness came from but all the literature & studies say medical management is effective in starting miscarraige in 80-90% of cases. The dr may have been referring to the fact that some women (like on here) need to go on to have a further procedure, but the study DH read said this was a further 5%.
The studies say that taking it orally rather than vaginally is slightly less effective - which is what Gingerbreadmam & I had.
I know why they prescribe it (less risks of complications that surgical route) and in our hospital push for it as a first option but still doesn't make me feel any better. I am nervous about the ERPC but I like the finality of it all.
The registrar did make me laugh yesterday, he was telling me about the procedure & said oh by the way you can opt to have it with a local anasthetic and be awake but if I was having it done I wouldn't ... Yup because the likelyhood of you having this procedure is um Zero... I know what he was trying to say but they way he said it sounded ridiculous.
Hope everyone is ok this cold & frosty morning & super got off to the airport ok, hope you have a lovely trip.
It is amazing how great everyone has been on here, I wish none of us had to go through it but I'm so glad of the support - thank you.

Now Sasha and Wonky have surgery dates I think that leaves only me without an end date in sight.
I'm going to hold out for an official, confirmed diagnosis of pregnancy failure before accepting any intervention.
I am still feeling well and no bleeding. They only do medical management on a Sunday here. You go in for the oral tablets on Friday and then to the ward for the pessary on the Sunday. What with Christmas and new year falling when they do two Fridays are taken out with public holidays, so this probably means I will be looking at intervention in January at the earliest. Assuming nothing happens before then.
My parents are asking if I will travel to visit them on 27th and stay. It's a long drive, DH will not be coming due to commitments here. I haven't told my parents anything about this whole pregnancy episode. Hmmm. Bit awkward. I can't forget how Chubby said she was driving and then the pain became too much and she had to pull over.
Hope everyone is ok today. How are you Wonky?

Oh, cross post! Glad you are holding up Wonky.

Super, have a lovely break.

Ginger, it sounds like you've been through hell the last few days. My eyes were filling up as I was reading about your experience.

Sasha and Wonky, I'm glad the end is sight.

West, I'm so sorry that you're still stuck in limbo. When is your next appointment? I'm secretly hoping that you're going to be our little Christmas miracle on this thread and get some unexpected good news. If you can't have good news then I hope it's quick and can all be over before Christmas for you.

DH has decided we're cursed at the moment. His car has broken down and is going to cost £800 to fix, our roof is leaking and the installation of our woodburner has been put back a week. It was my birthday yesterday and I was too tired and emotionally drained to do anything other than veg infront of the TV with a takeaway and a bottle of wine.

im ok. just a bit panicky that anything else is going to happen. fingers crossed it wont.

im really feeling for everyone its awful but when you hear how complex things have been for west i just cant believe that that can happen and how its drawing out an already horrible experience and thinking of it going on beyond christmas is terrible. im so sorry west and i hope u get closure sooner rather than later.

hope everyone else is getting through each day as best they can.

stuck to the toilet again with back pains. has anyone else had this? really cant face hospital again so hope it is normal. can anyone advise?

they did say i could still get lots of blood and clots and i hardly had any yesterday so sure its just part of the course.

Oh no! Are you alone at home? If yes then try to get someone to be with you. You must be exhausted. If they said there could be more to come then it's probably "normal", although I think overall your experience has been far worse than normal.
Speaking as someone who has passed out when experiencing a heavy period I would be reassured to know you have someone with you. You've lost a lot over recent days.

my dp was with me. rang the hospital they said i had to come in again.

have had another internal and theres still stuff stuck. was awful this time sure she didnt close the speculum thing when removing. sat waiting for more bloods as loosing too much again

im thinking theyre definitely going to give me an erpc today?

oh ginger. holding your hand

im coping. the good news is theyve said if bleeding slows i can go home and come back monday for an internal scan which is much better than all these awful internals theyve been giving me.

hopefully bloods wont b too bad either. hadnt picked up iron from other day tho so probs not helped myself woops.

Oh gingerbread. Will it ever end. It's so unfair that you have to go through this. M/c is bloody hard enough. I'll be here all evening too so rant away if you feel like it.

The care you're getting just isn't good enough! Surely they need to end this now and do the surgery?! Please make sure there is someone with you tonight and tomorrow, hopefully your dp doesn't need to work weekends. This one miscarriage has been like multiple miscarriages for you. It shouldn't have to be this way. on your behalf.

i know it feels like ive miscarried for the fourth time now i cant believe my first pregnancy has gone like this. everyone keeps telling me ill be well prepared for a baby though.

i even thought earlier with all the contractions etc when i do eventually get my baby my body might treat it like the 2nd baby and birth might be a bit easier on me - i can hope haha!

things r starting to slow a bit and my obs are getting better so if my bloods come back ok i should be going home which is silly but the most important thing to me. i assume if they scan me monday and theyre is anything there then an erpc will be scheduled although havent discussed that with anyone yet.

my dp doesnt work weekends fortunately and my mam is off monday to bring me for scan so all is good on that front.

hmmm i duno what the thing is with erpcs here. i asked the midwife if that would happen and she said shw didnt know they would only do that if bleeding lots.

considering that ive already been in bleeding lots twice and on the tuesday too i dont know what that means. plus the fact that they keep telling me i will only bleed and get contractions if there is still something there or i have an infection.

well theyre pretty sure i dont have an infection, seem to panic when i bleed and considering thats happened three times now there is something stuck so how is it going to come out without me having another big bleed or an op? i dont understand at all. hopefully dr will be clearer.

Do you want and ERPC Ginger? Because if you do, I would put my foot down. Unfortunately sometimes those who shout loudest get heard and if you start talking about how if they don't offer you one immediately you will hold them liable they might start moving. Liable for what I'm not exactly sure but I find if you start talking in legal terms they suddenly start sitting up and paying attention.

not particularly i just want it all over tbh and at the min that seems like the only sure fire way to know it is.

i think if i get to go home today and make it thru to monday ok will see what the scan shows up. theyre fully aware of what has happened so far so if the scan still shows 'products of conception' i am hoping they will offer it and then i would just say yes if it is the best option. dont want it so bad i feel like fighting for it yet tho if that makes sense. i just keep feeling hopeful its done

The only thing I will say to you is that it would be an end to it. I understand you wanting to leave it as an absolute final last resort and it is important to have some element of control at this time. I hope you get home tonight Ginger. Big hugs.

midwife just been back said shes spoke to dr. still waiting for blood results but think if theyre ok they will send me home with antibiotics.

will be so relieved if they sort this out (even though externally i am showing no sign of infection) hopefully thats what it is.

i was just saying to my dp after they removed the tissue thursday i didnt get much blood yesterday so i wonder if its just pooled up and cause clots which has then made my cervix open again to release it. dont know if thats at all possible be good if it was that though.

i also drank lastnite maybe didnt help? so many unknowns.

Please don't feel guilty for drinking, God knows you deserve a drink after all you have been through and I think it would be biologically impossible for it to have any effect on what's happening right now. Bloods will show an infection if there is one and if there is they will treat it with antibiotics anyway. I would advise you to be fasting on Monday so that if they do go ahead with the ERPC they can do it straight away.

dr has just been i have to have erpc tomorrow. had another internal with forceps and by hand this time something completely stuck.

as much as im crapping myself about tomo it cnt be any worse than what ive been through.

just have to decide whether to stay in hospital tonite or not now really want to go home but cant tell from what theyre saying if its safe or not.

You will be fine. It's a short procedure. I was up and about an hour later and on the way home 3 hours later. I had zero pain afterwards, didn't need paracetamol. They are afraid of septacemia and I think if you can face it at all you should try to stay there. You are nearly there. This time tomorrow you will be out the other side of your m/c and you will be able to focus on recovering. I am so so sorry you have had to go through all of this.,