total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today...

[SuperGlue]

It was very hard to put this into a title but basically I had a dating scan 11 days ago when i reckoned i ought to have been 9 weeks pg. In the scan there was an empty embryonic sac measuring 7 wks but no yolk or fetal pole. The sonographer said it was most likely a miscarriage but that I would need to come back in 10 days to see if there was any growth during that time as a protocol.

I have spent the past 11 days in total turmoil and limbo. Waiting any moment to miscarry etc.

Went back today for the second scan expecting to be taken in this week for a d&c only to find that the sac had grown in the 10 days and there was now a yolk, fetal pole and an embryo measuring just 6 weeks. No heartbeat but she said heartbeat would kick in, if it was going to, over the next 7 days. SO basically she could not confirm that it was a miscarriage at this stage but that we would need to go back this day next week to see if there is a heartbeat. If not it will be confirmed then.

She was fairly certain that there was a problem with the development of this pregnancy and that the most likely scenario would be that it would develop this far and trail off and we would not find a heartbeat on Monday.

I just can't get my head around it all. Even if my dates were out a bit, I didn't think it was possible to be out that much.

Has anyone else ever gone through this?

I feel like my head is about to explode trying to take it all in / work it all out and another 7 days waiting stretches out in front of me..........

oh gosh everyone is having such a crap time. i think definitely make sure u take as much time as you feel you need off work and dont worry about doing normal things. just because you dont feel upto work doesnt mean you cant do anything else.

my experience keeps gettinf worse too after thinking i had mc saturday with medical management then again naturally tuesday i went back to work today as the christmas celebrations were kicking off. i had to leave at 2.30 and have been in hospital since. there is (hopefully was) tissue stuck in the neck of my womb. had a long internal where tried to remove it but was fully stuck. have to wait till 9 for another examination then can go home. have had to have my blood taken too (probs the worst part as i hate it) to check for anaemia and infection. cnt believe it still isnt over.

am guessing if this is still stuck it will be erpc next. fed up today.

hope everyone else is starting to feel bit better and for those still waiting my thoughts are with you

Aw gingerbread! That is just shit!

I second that! Gingerbreadmam you poor thing, you really are going through the mill.
I truly hope they get you sorted out & quick. Thinking of you.

Oh ginger. So fucking cruel that this isn't over for you yet. Thinking of you.

finally got home at 11.50pm last night. feel so relieved even after awful experience in hospital.

had first exam about 3.00pm which confirmed cervix open and tissue stuck. that midwife said i had to stay tilln 9 to see if passed it and monitor bleeding. tried to remove in manually with forceps but was stuck. had to have blood pressure and bloods done which is awful for me (mifwife thinks i have white coat syndrome, think she might be right lol).

anyway had a few brisk walks around hospital to try and pass the tissue and some time then finally got to 9.00pm and other midwife came and did an examination she said she thought some tissue had passed but was still stuck. again she tried to remove it with forceps but was stuck. i was heartbroken at this point as i really thought it musy hve gone. the bleeding had eased and id had a feeling in my back since tuesday that had gone too. anyway my cervix was still open so she said she doubted i would be allowed home as risk of heamorraging id also had test results back at 9 which showed me as slightly anaemic.

anyway, see above, white coat syndrome, this was enough to push me over the edge coupled with the fact that i would probs then have to have the erpc and a further examination by the dr. i couldnt stop crying. she said the dr would be able to get in deeper and try again to remove it but it would be very painful and probably not successful so there were my choices. she did say i could have gas and air to help. all i kept thinking was all this and no baby. so not fair.

anyway dr finally came 11ish. she went ahead with the exam (no gas and air offered) and finally managed to pull something out. even after all the pain and fear i could have bloody kissed her. i was allowed home. they cant say for certain but she had a feel around and thinks everythings gone. i so hope she is right.

cant believe most of my fears with this process have come true. it happening at work and ending up in hospital things gettinf stuck jus horrible but today i feel good. hope you are all ok.

Oh Ginger, what a nightmare, just horrific. All those internals must have been torture. Giving birth will be a walk in the park in comparison, (I hope).
Don't know what to say really - just horrendous.

i know i was going to refuse the last one till they gave me my options and none of them were good so i thought just do it and if i cant cope will have to tell them to stop.

was awful yesterday but im feeling fine today just mega tired and sore eyes from all the tears. glad thats over and hopefully they have got everything. they said could still get lots of blood and clots but i said must be impossible everything i lost on tuesday and yesterday. god knows ha. anyway even after all the crap i am now just relieved.

hope all those still waiting are ok it so horrible for everyone. just wanted to share my experience incase anyone experiences anything similar as i feel better prepared when ive heard it can happen.

Oh Gingerbreadmam that sounds awful.
Glad you are now home hopefully you can finally take it easy. Look after yourself, you've been through so much I think you are due a bit of TLC.
Just being nosy I keep meaning to ask which hospital you've been with.

its james cook im with. yeah im taking it easy today insides r acheing a bit but other than that im ok. just hope it really is over now.

its my 30th next week and i just want to be better for that

hope youre ok.

I had a feeling it was - i'm there too!

I'm not surprised you feel a bit fragile your body has been through a battering. I'm sure you'll be feeling better for your birthday. It'll be nice to have something to celebrate after all you've been through.

I'm ok just waiting still, just feels like life is on pause which is wearing. I've phoned them & they say it's very unusual for it to have no effect at all. As I thought my body is weird!
MW said I probably need to go in but she's going to talk to dr & phone me back.

ha weird do you think their drugs just arent strong enough? odd we both took them and it didnt work for either of us?!

how have you found them? theyre not very forthcoming with the erpc's there. was never mentioned to me until they started to panic a bit yesterday.

tbf the dr i saw yesterday was amazing i really thought i was in for the night and i couldnt have handled that. had two lovely midwives too. i hope they phone you back with some good news such a long time to be coping with it all.

I wish I could give you a big hug gingerbread. Really I do. I suppose in a way it is nice to have a milestone birthday coming up to out all this behind you and in the past. 2015 will be our year, I'm bloody looking forward to putting 2014 behind me. What have you planned for your 30th? We are thinking about going away for a few days just to have some us time and probably to have a few drinks and a proper chat about everything that's happened. You deserve some happiness now.

is it your 30th too or you doing that to cheer yourselves up? think its a great idea whatever the reason. where are yous thinking?

we went to edinburgh couple of weeks ago (only time could go because of dps hours) then out for a family meal on the actual day. should be nice looking forward to it now ive got my head round everything.

oh im ok thank you though. jusy glad its all over. bleedings eased up a lot today like a very light period after all ups and downs im jus panicking im not out the woods yet

Ha, if only! I got married 4 days after my 30th so it was all a bit of a blur. We aren't in the UK so will probably go to a lovely town about an hour away in the new year sometime. It's nice to have something to look forward to and to plan for.

I'm glad you feel a bit better today. I've only been spotting really these past few days but they reckon I could be spotting for up to 10 days afterwards. The joys, eh? Will you bother with taking tests to get a negative? I don't know if I have the will for anymore tests at this stage.

the hospital gave me one so i will do. not quite the excitement of a normal test but at least if its negative then can start trying again.

yes will be lovely to have something to look forward to definitely get something booked in. good thing about this time of year is i guess theres lots of nice things coming up to distract us.

hopefully the light bleeding is normal then. thanks.

The hospital phoned back and got me to go in to fill out forms & do pre op assessment prior to an ERPC next week, still waiting to find out what day exactly but they will phone me either this evening or Monday morning.
Spent most of the afternoon there but kinda relieved that they were happy to just get on and book me in.
They did say it was unusual to have no bleeding whatsoever.
They were all very reassuring and lovely but it was a bit un-nerving to find out the registrar that saw me trained under my DH many years ago. I knew going there would mean I was more likely to bump into people that knew him but I wasn't quite so prepared for how many I saw this afternoon - they sent me to have an ECG which is basically in his dept!

oh wow very close to dh then. the good news is you will have closure next week at some point althought bit crappy you dont know which day yet. am pleased here is something in the pipeline though must make u feel much better.

are you feeling ok about the erpc? wouldnt have been my first choice but yesterday i would have accepted anything that had it over sooner rather than later

I'm a bit scared about it as it is surgery & that does have risks but I think I'm mainly just glad that something is finally going to happen as I'm sick of being on tenterhooks.

wonky I was so scared about erpc but it was really fine. Fine. i remember feeling scared. Then i woke up feeling fine. Definitely easier than miscarrying naturally! I did both and would choose erpc any day...
Glad it will soon be over for you.

Ginger, hope you're resting up love. What a fucking nightmare. It's over now. Phew.

My experience was the same. I had no pain afterwards and was up and out 3 hours later.

Oh ginger, you poor poor thing! You have really had a tough time of it. I have everything crossed you are out the other side now. What a nightmare. Huge hugs to you xx

Wonky, fromwest , hope you guys are not left waiting too long. Wonky, how awful that your meds did not work either, wonder how many that happens to ? Maybe as ginger said, they are not strong enough?

hi to everyone else, hope you are all doing ok?

I had 2 crappy experiences today, I bumped into my colleagues wife, the one who is due 4 days after my due date and I had to congratulate her etc. I felt very odd as I really didn't want to say it to her, but that is not like me at all. I hate feeling like this.

Then I went to get my hair colour done, thinking nice treat this till cheer me up, and the first thing the girl said as I was taking off my coat was 'oh are you pregnant?' I said no very quickly and then she pulled up my cardigan and said 'must be the buckle on your belt' with a very disbelieving expression. I had no desire to explain anything to her. Felt like shit then and was left wondering if other people had been speculating the same. I have put on weight over the past few weeks and I tend towards being apple shaped so the weight goes onto my tummy / middle but still - I am a size 12 fgs!!!

AND then I got wound up when dh told me he had been speaking to his brother and was mentioning how hard the past few weeks had been and his brother compared it to when he and his girlfriend had an abortion about 10 years ago. They had a child at that stage and went onto have another. I have no illusions that going through the process of an abortion is tough and emotionally draining but (and I really don't want to offend anyone reading) it is NOT the same as losing a much longed for, incredibly desired baby you had waited 7 long years for. Dh thinks i am overreacting and that his brother was trying to be empathatic but it pissed me right off. I am very touchy about it all and I feel like my nerves have been shredded up because of what has happened.

I met a lovely friend for breakfast earlier though and she just have me a huge hug and said 'I don't know what to say, it has just been shit for you' and she gave me a beautiful jo malone candle and bath oil. No presents were needed but the way she handled not knowing what to say bouyed me up all day in work.

We are off to London early in the morning - woohoo. I am actually looking forward to it. I will check in on dh's ipad when we are there. But you will all be in my thoughts.

I could not have gotten through the past month without you lot xxx

Sods bloody law - got a call at 8pm letting me know I'm booked in for ERPC on weds. Have just been to the loo and there's blood.
As I've had no bleeding before this or pain now it was a bit of a surprise.
Obviously I should have spent more time hanging about at the hospital as an afternoon there seems to have had the greatest effect!

Oh wonky, I hope this is it for you. I'll be thinking of you. Take care and mind yourself.

Super Glue, I'm also apple shaped and still looking pregnant. While I am looking forward to boozy nights out of the Christmas, I'd be much happier going out in my dressing gown because nothing will make me look good at the moment. Those situations are hard. It sounds like you dealt with them well though.

are you bleeding a lot wonky? id still keep focus on wednesday if i were u. even if anything happend between now n then it will be good if it happens naturally but if not at least u know wednesday is over.

although people have their reasons for abortion and the process is almost the same comparing peoples experiences isnt very helpful. when u do something through choice that is a lot different to having no control.

re: medical management it didnt work for me either weird really we discovered both i and wonky r at the same hospital earlier tho, bit of a coincidence?

i am ok thanks bn thru the mill but come out ok.