Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 12

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone! A thread for anyone who has suffered recurrent losses and is in need of support, information, moral support or tea and sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Please can we start (as is traditional) with a recap of where we are on 'the journey'.

Maybe she's pregnant?

Welcome Crispsandchoc, the ladies on here are lovely and will give you lots of support. I'm too a newbie and snap number of mc and currently signed off. Hope you've got a support network around you x

Thanks everyone else for you comments today. Makes me feel I'm not the only one x

Thread still moving at lightening speed..

Welcome new people, and so sorry for your losses. chocolate my heart goes out to you, what horribly late losses. Really hope you get some answers about your cervix. Hi girliesaints, internet crisps, more sad stories, I hope you find support here.

twilight oh the irony..the bloody storks need to stop chilling out in a sanctuary and get to work to bring us all our babies.

On the job discussion, mine is in the medical arena and tends to encompass a lot of mental health and pregnancy, and its not a place where you can hide away. Have had some really difficult days there, and have a rubbish manager.

Here is my history:
2011 - DS (now 3.5, very lucky to have him I know and v grateful)

1. July 2012 - MMC 12 wks, died at 7.5 wks - erpc
2. Sept 2013 - TFMR @ 13 wks after many problems found at 12 wk scan. Given 90% chance of death in utero, so we made the difficult decision to terminate. Found to be chromosomally normal - unknown cause of problems.
3. Jan 2014 - MMC @ 10 weeks, anembryonic, knew at 8+6. Natural mc whilst waiting for erpc, found to have Trisomy 22
4. July 2014 - mc @ 8 + wks, medical management. Under St.Marys for this one so knew early on it wasn't right, watched it deteriorate. Chromosomes normal.

Under St Mary's. After some disagreement between consultants, conclusion is everything is normal with me. On my to do list are karyotyping for me and OH, and pursue the NK cell route. Hadn't really decided on NK issue until recently, so ended up trying this month which is clearly stupid..like I can't help myself.

Currently feeling somewhat overwhelmed with it all, and wonder if I am nearing a point when I seriously have to consider throwing in the towel. I can see now, why people do. I couldn't before.

crisps I'm a bit nuts but the way I see it, after 2MCs this year, if I get pregnant again it's going to go one of two ways:

1. I'll carry the baby to term and all will be well (my preferred option, obvs)
2. I'll MC again and get a-testing on the NHS

MC2 feels a little like a no-mans-land MC, the first you hold hope it was just bad luck, the second you're worrying that there's something more to it but that you can't actually DO anything for the meantime. I'm doing as much as I can possibly do by going nuts on the vitamins, chinese herbs (yuck), acupuncture... generally throwing everything non-medical as I can at it. DH is on zinc tabs as well.

Charlieis30 couldn't agree more than two mc is no mans land. The nurse at the epu unit said the same but "rules were rules" At this stage I just like to know if there is an under lying problem or not before making a decision whether to have another attempt. But if life was that easy then it would be boring!

Hey twiglight having just taken on new job with new responsibilities, not sure how they would react if I asked for say 3 months off as paid leave. I can only ask if it comes to it.

Going to try and get docs appt today. Have been reading up on hypothyroidism and pregnancy. The consultant I saw really downplayed it, said my levels were borderline. But my test before meds my level was 10, then went to 7, meds were upped. Should be 2 or below apparently. Anyone know if I should push to see an endochronologist? I suppose I should pee on another stick at some point as well.

Wow what a lot to catch up on!

Charlie I completely agree. Though we were lucky (?!) to have got some testing on this MC, when we get the results if all is ok then we will try again - if it sticks then we'll have a baby, if not then we'll get some testing.

Hi crisps and girlie I'm also on MC2 currently and still signed off work.

Job-wise, I'm a vet, so I'd guess that's pretty similar to all you healthcare/mental health workers in terms of spending all day dealing with members of the public in stressful situations. The EPU nurse was very kind to sign me off for a week after my ERPC to give me time to recover mentally.

I don't actually begrudge the NHS the 3 MC thing - it's a public health service so decisions have to be made somewhere. I just think of it like if I only have 2 so no testing, then the cash saved goes to someone's cancer treatment or something. I'm lucky that DH and I could afford to have chromosomal analysis done on the embryo (it was 295 quid) and we could have afforded more investigations but I didn't want to take time out from TTC. I guess in a way my head is buried in the sand, but I'm really hoping that 2x was just bad luck and the next will be fine.

charlie i so agree with the no man's land!

I was lucky (?) that for me 1 and 2 were so close together they felt like one, and then after 3 I just though "ok, tests now!"

Job-wise don't have much contact with general public or health issues but bloody hell, my department has been through a baby boom in the past few years and it's CRAZY! at least a lot of it it's the blokes having children so I don't get the daily pregnancy reminders...

The average age in my worplace is about 28, and 75% female. You can imagine the number of bumps knocking around. So many I have actually become a bit immune to it.

That sounds like a good hope to me Charlie.

There's a baby boom at my work too - 9 women either pg or on mat leave! I do find it hard not to be jealous of them all, but on the other hand it's nice to see that it's not always this difficult to have a baby! Kind of inspiring really.

Hi,

I hope you don't mind me joining. I have recently found out at an early scan last Friday that I have miscarried again. This is the second one in three months.

MC1 - 3/4 weeks (if it wasn't for an early pregnancy detection I would've swore it was just a period) June 2014

MC2 - 6 weeks (although dates meant I should have been 7/8 weeks)

I am 27, other half is 31 (he already has two children from previous relationships).

I am going for op to have everything surgically removed either today or tomorrow as I think the process of natural or even with pills is just to traumatic.

I feel so numb and so pissed off - I've done well in not getting too upset but I think I've hardened myself to it from last time.

From the last one to this I didn't actually have a period so I am wondering if it was just too soon? Anyone else experienced this? We also think the last one may have be due to coming off contraception - I literally fell pregnant within 2/3 weeks of coming off birth control and possibly still had it in my system.

Any advice would be great as I'm going mad here! X

bristolian that's a really good attitude. I think you can't discount that some of those women might have had probs either falling or staying preg and you just didn't know about it. The more women I talk to the more I realise that it's SO common. I was talking to a (male) friend yesterday about my 2 MCs and he said his sister had been trying for 10 months without a hint of a positive. He was shocked at how common problems are. Whenever I see a pregnant lady or one with a small child I want to grab them and go "did you have MCs? How many???" as I really like hearing about people who've had them and still have babies. I know it's super hard for some of you who have children and are now having trouble as it's all the more confusing but all you ladies here with DCs give me hope

blotski hugs & welcome, sorry you've found yourself here. It's a great space, the ladies here know more than the doctors

ERPC is a pretty simple procedure, we had a discussion about it the other day and most of us said it was the preferred option. It allows you to start healing physically & mentally asap.

Don't worry about whatever you're feeling emotionally, I'm 5 weeks on from mine and still feel numb, angry, in denial... list goes on. There are good days & bad.

Don't blame yourself for anything, esp try not to go around in circles on the BC thing - every shred of evidence means there is no reason you can't fall pregnant straight away after coming off BC or straight after MC. If so people wouldn't have children after accidentally skipping a pill!

Re pregnant after MC a friend of mine had a late loss (after 12w) and got pregnant straight away without an AF and carried that baby to term. It's nothing to do with it, and ignore everyone who says it is! Step away from Dr Google!

Hi all sorry I've not been on much I hope you're all keeping well and sorry to hear of more losses.

I've got my recurrent MC clinic appointment later today and I'm petrified.

What if it brings us no answers? Then what? What if it gives us answers that can't be fixed?

Argh!

Hi I just wanted to check in with some others really.
I think I have just just lost my 6th pregnancy but waiting for scan on Thursday.
All my m/c have been within the 1st tri. One set of twins and the rest single embryos. All have been since I turned 40 and I do believe that my age is the major issue as Ive been told my egg quality and quantity has fallen drastically within the last couple of years.
Finding it very difficult at the moment as there seems to be kiddies everywhere and all my lovely friends are producing at a great rate. Sad times.
Are there any local groups to meet other women face to face? Forums are a great help but Id like to see people and chat.
thanks

Some of the ladies have done small meet-ups. I'd love to meet people, I'm away the next couple of weeks though so can't organise anything. Anyone else?

Sorry too see how many new ladies myself included join everyday!

Ididnt - Good luck at your appointment, I hope it does give you answers.

Since my miscarriages both public knowledge because I got past the "safe" 12 weeks! Its amazing how many of my friends, family have come out of tge woodwork to say they had miscarriages too! Its so very sad. But your right bristolian its nice to see that there is also an easy option for what I call nice people not JK contestants lol!

A meet would be lovely but I expect I am hundreds of miles away from most of you, down here in Dorset :)

Hi all...newbie here. Just had my 2nd miscarriage over the weekend. First one was 5 months ago, no successful pregnancies as yet. Im 37. Both failed around 6 week mark altho this most recent one was an mmc..thought id got to 10 weeks. Just been signed off for a week...im a sonographer..not up to scanning pregnant ladies right now

So sorry Lades and welcome...

wow a sonographer, I wouldn't be able to resist to try and have a peek every day... i am addicted to scans...

one week doesn't seem enough though, i had close to 2 weeks off with my MC4

Lades sorry to see you here :(
Is one werk enough? Esp because of the job you do.

I agree one week when you're in a caring profession doesn't seen enough, but it may be enough for you. I know with my 9w mc I was signed off for 6 weeks in total (4 were for pregnancy bleeding but I miscarried 2 days after the certificate was written) and was then signed back on a phased return which really helped.

It's not easy taking on other peoples problems when you're going through crap yourself