Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 12

978 replies

bakingtins · 13/09/2014 20:32

Welcome everyone! A thread for anyone who has suffered recurrent losses and is in need of support, information, moral support or tea and sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Please can we start (as is traditional) with a recap of where we are on 'the journey'.

OP posts:
Justonemoretime · 14/09/2014 17:33

girlie, I'd mention it to your gp. If they are sympathetic, they may include it. Even if they don't, they may be able to order some of the basic blood tests that they can do even before the magic 3. Good luck.

twilightstruggle · 14/09/2014 18:01

Thanks baking - you do look after us Flowers

My stats: 32 (me and DH), TTC #1 since November 2012
MMC1 at 11 weeks
MC 2 - 4 all at approximately 6 - 7 weeks
(Sigh - that doesn't get any less depressing to type does it)

Have been referred to St Mary's - septum diagnosed and removed a couple of weeks ago. Now waiting for the rest of the test results (due early Oct) and will hopefully be given the go ahead to start TTC again.

'Welcome' to chocolate, internet, girlie and anyone else I've missed from the end of the last thread. Your stories are heart-breaking and I'm really sorry for your losses. Chocolate - as people have said, late losses often sound particularly awful for those who have had earlier ones and my heart goes out to you. I don't think anyone would think anything other than 'yay' if you got pregnant again quickly - I'm fairly sure the need to be pregnant and have a baby after a loss is primitive!

Internet - I'm sorry; it must be particularly hard to have things go wrong after a diagnosis and with a treatment plan in place which was supposed to work. Welcome to the thread and I hope you find lots of support and info here.

Girlie - can't add much to the advice baking has given you so here are some Flowers and support in such a horrible time.

Bristolian - I'm sorry for your losses. Does your mum perhaps just mean she's worried about you going through so much upset in such a short period of time? People can word things clumsily sometimes, but maybe she's talking about emotional healing?

Charlie - hugs and I'm glad you're feeling better from the other day.

Cloud what supplements are you and DH taking? I've been eyeing royal jelly for a while now...

Glad you had a good night Longest. Sorry about your BFN though - what day are you on?

Yay to Tanny!!!

Fingers crossed Aoife. I think the wonderful thing about this thread is that its support as and when you want/need it. Dip in and out all you need to (I do so perhaps am biased!).

Waves to everyone else.

I'm back from my hols now and preparing myself to go back to work tomorrow. Feeling pretty fed up about everything and would much rather be on maternity leave or working part-time due to my just-turned one year old - grrr. As it is I'm sitting here thinking up excuses for not going to my friend's daughter's second birthday because I actually can't face it (the first time I've actually said that about something like this - usually I feel either excited or at least able to grin and bear it).

twilightstruggle · 14/09/2014 18:05

Oooo - I have a funny stork related story from my hols. We were on one of those excursions where they take you off to a historical place (where you want to go), but stop off at other places (where you don't want to go) en route. One of the stop offs was a bl**dy stork sanctuary). You couldn't make it up.

Justonemoretime · 14/09/2014 18:10

Twilight, sorry you're feeling low. If you can't face the party, don't go. Be kind to yourself. This is crappy enough without putting yourself in emotionally difficult situations, too. Maybe go for a nice lunch with a childless friend and talk about unrelated things over cake instead? Better yet, go for cocktails, since you are not ttc-ing at the moment. xx

Bristolian1 · 14/09/2014 18:10

twilight I'm sure you are completely right about my mum's good intentions! Sorry for being a grumpy mare... I am still feeling somewhat irrational. Have managed to drag myself out of the house today though which is good. A stork sanctuary though... Really? Grin

Original poster
bakingtins · 14/09/2014 19:06

What is all this talk of storks? Everyone knows babies are found under the gooseberry bush! Grin

OP posts:
Aoifebelle · 14/09/2014 19:10

Stork sanctuary. I do like a bit of dark irony. If it doesn't work out for me this time I am seriously thinking of asking for a paid sabbatical from work. I have 10.years service and will have been pregnant for enough time to qualify for a mat leave, just not consecutively. Kids birthdays suck at the best of times.
twlight you have absolute permission to not go anywhere or so anything you don't want to.

Aoifebelle · 14/09/2014 19:11

Ooh that went a bit wrong the sentence about party should be at the end,

twilightstruggle · 14/09/2014 19:38

Thanks for the reassurance re. the party. I am going to decline - I think I'll be honest and say why. They're good friends and know the situation so I think they'll understand. I've hung around with them and their lovely daughter no probs but a party is too much at the moment.

The stork sanctuary was ridiculous. I went a touch hysterical while in there; glaring at the (very lazy looking) storks and the like. DH had to pacify me quite a bit - but I have a feeling that its the thing we'll remember most about the holiday in the long term (in a funny ironic way as opposed to it having been awful).

Aoife - I've had similar thoughts about taking some time off. I just find it so hard pretending to be fine all the time and my job is quite emotionally demanding as its in mental health. Do you think your managers would be supportive of the idea - its better than just going on long-term sick.

charlieis30 · 14/09/2014 19:54

twilight I can't believe you went in! I would have been waiting in a coffee shop or in the carpark or something. But yes those things do "make" holidays - you so often remember the weird or awful things that happen on hols...

twilightstruggle · 14/09/2014 19:59

Not only did I go in... but I donated

charlieis30 · 14/09/2014 20:18

my cousin just sent me a facebook message as she's visiting london, which said "I was hoping I might BUMP into you in london" (her emphasis not mine). I wonder if that's a pregnancy thing? I didn't think she knew but she's been travelling so almost certainly didn't hear about the MC. Don't want to reply "oh are you making a pregnancy crack? Because I had a MC" on facebook. I might be reading too much into it
argh

InternetFOREVER · 14/09/2014 20:21

Thanks for the warm welcome Flowers

Twilight I work in mental health too, its so hard isn't it. I worked hard to get my job but since my first MC I wish I'd stayed in my old office job which I could do with my eyes closed (or sobbing away). Off to the GP on Tuesday to get a sick note, feel like it will be a while before I can face being responsible for anyone else's mental health but also feel awful for letting people down by being off. My sick record for the last year is unbelievable.

MrsChocolateCupcake · 14/09/2014 20:24

This post moves so fast! Not sure how well I will do when on my pad might have to use the PC more to keep up!

Twilight - I can't believe you went in nethermind donating too!
Charlie - I am sorry your cousin has been insensitive, big hugs..I would just send her a message back explaining whats happened, I am sure it will be tougher to do if you do meet up!

Late miscarriages is tough but no tougher than what you ladies have all been through. I have never had an early miscarriage so I can't compare myself to you ladies but being able to see and hold my boys really helped me cope.we have some pictures which I can look at when I need too which helps me.
I also read a beautiful poem I found which we used for both of their cremations.

MrsChocolateCupcake · 14/09/2014 20:25

I took too long to write mine!
Internet I hope your GP is lovely and will sign you off for as long as you need.

Justonemoretime · 14/09/2014 20:28

Charlie, how awkward! I'd definitely sent a quick pm to her to let her know. I expect she'll be mortified. Hope you haven't been too upset as a result of her gaffe!

charlieis30 · 14/09/2014 20:29

Thanks chocolate I don't think she's being insensitive, there's no reason for her to know anything had gone wrong. I just didn't think she knew in the first place! I don't actually want her to feel guilty.

chocolate it's interesting what you said about pictures and being able to hold your children. I think that's part of the reason I'm finding moving on from my 2nd so difficult - the OB at the first gave me a printout of the scan, so at least I have SOMETHING whereas I didn't get anything from the 2nd. It is sad not to have something you can look at, touch, acknowledge.

charlieis30 · 14/09/2014 20:30

crossed posts just... I might do that. I'm just not 100% that she is referring to me being pregnant. I wouldn't want to randomly tell her. I might text her mum and get her to tell her!

It didn't upset me, which again is a pretty good sign things are moving forward.

MrsChocolateCupcake · 14/09/2014 20:36

Charlie - Sorry to hear you have nothing :( I had a fab box from the hospital with a bear and blanket and other bits and bobs in it which I look at... maybe you could buy a little teddy or something similar?

I am sure she didnt mean to be sorry that came out wrong I think! Sounds like a good plan with texting her mum and making sure she is aware :) I think she will feel guilty though...I think that would be natural!
I am glad it didnt upset you though big hugs :)

tannyLoo · 14/09/2014 20:41

Twilight and Internet me too! Twenty years in MH and D&A, and had major burnout in Feb after last MC and resigned. After trying to convince myself I could make a living as a jeweller as well as being pg, I am in the process of getting back into work through an agency... Must be mad!

charlieis30 · 14/09/2014 20:42

Thanks chocolate

Total change of topic, how do we feel about taking extra folic if not directed to by a Dr? I hinted to mine last week that I wanted the big whammy, not for any particular reason. I've been naughtily taking 3 extra 200mg tabs each day in addition to my multi (pregnancare max ripoff tabs) but is there any evidence that it might be harmful? Or do you think I'm OK keeping on going. I'm seeing another GP next week so I'll ask her, but in the meantime...

MrsChocolateCupcake · 14/09/2014 20:45

It wont be harmful - I have a high bmi and was on 5mg tablets with my last pregnancy.

charlieis30 · 14/09/2014 20:47

cool beans. Might try it though. Although entering US customs with loads of white tabs might not be the BEST idea ever...

MrsChocolateCupcake · 14/09/2014 20:49

Dont forget you get folic acid in foods so most people have over the reccomended dosage anyways...good luck with the pills and customs haha!

CrispsAndChoc · 14/09/2014 21:21

Can I join please? I've had two miscarriages now (latest one is very recent). Going to start ttc again soon. I'm wondering if I can face another one though-was admitted to hospital with suspected haemorrhaging a few weeks ago.