Recurrent Miscarriage Testing, trials and tribulations...Part 7!

[squizita]

Hi all, carrying on from part 6. All kinicker-checkers, blood-testers, clinic-attenders and finger-crossers welcome. Nothing but love and crossed fingers...

Hello everyone!

Just a quick one to say hi and mark my place on the new thread.

Seems like so much has happened in these last few days - I've only been away since Friday but so much to catch up on!

Welcome to junebug and latebloomer and so sorry for your crappy experiences. I know you'll find loads of support and advice here but it is rubbish that we are all here!!

I just can't believe its a new thread and I'm still not sat here with a huge bump...but mustn't dwell.... !

Squiz I hope everything resolves itself for you soon and that your levels start to fall quickly and there's no need for any treatment. It must be so scary for you. I completely agree with what you said. It is definitely worse (not that its a competition) going through rmc when you have no children and I completely appreciate how awful it is contemplating never being a mother. My 1st mc was before DD and was probably worse that these last 2 as I now have her and know how lucky I am. Now I worry more that she will be forever sad that she's an only child.

Hi to Baking, Picardy and dontrythisathome.

I had a lovely weekend although was strange as DHs family don't know I'm pregnant although I'm sure they guessed as I didn't drink and was so tired. I felt quite sick as well but not sure if they noticed. Being away seemed to help with my insomnia although it will probably return tonight! Scan on Wednesday so already worrying!!

Anyway I'm going to go and have an early night but will catch up properly on everyone's news.

Squiz, baking, tea and all others- just wanted to say I am still following the thread and thinking about you all.

Update from me is that I have my whooping cough vaccination tomorrow. Xx

Hi to everyone regulars and newbies! Just marking my place I will catch up properly soon, it would be a pretty boring post for you to read as nothing much ti report but I like to keep up with how everyone is doing and keep in with the crowd for when it's my turn again...gulp! Xx

Thanks for the welcome teaandchocolate :) I worry like you, about my son being an only child. He is four in a few months

God Squiz, that sounds awful. Glad your levels are going down though and that, that is good news? When will you know if you do need chemo?

I have been a bit ill today, not sure if it is miscarriage related or not but I have had a bad tummy upset, could be my hormones but not sure. My bleeding with this miscarriage has been weird, you read that it's just like a heavier period but it hasn't been hugely heavy. It's really thick blood, it was dark red almost black to begin with but now is light red and like wall paper paste, sorry far too much info but it just seems odd to me. I feel like maybe I'm not clearing out well. I'm concerned that this may be why I keep losing babies. But obviously it might not be that. I just hate the not knowing.

xx

Sorry Squiz typo there 'and that' doesn't make sense. That's what happens when you leave the computer half way through a message and you don't read it back when you carry on!

Hello tea. Your symptoms sound hopeful :) (although I know how annoying it can be to be told that - ykwim).

june. are you being monitored wrt hcg levels etc.? Have you had a scan? (You've prob said this but I am too fuzzy-headed to look back at the other thread now - have periodic instances of pain at the base of my head and have one atm. Neuro appt soon to have a look at it, gulp). I think bleeding after mc can take so many different forms - one that I've always found fairly disturbing for some reason is quite light bleeding which is a very light red - but it seems to be normal after mc for me.

squiz - on your posts - I honestly can't imagine what it must be like for you and am full of admiration at your bravery and tenacity for keeping going. I think you should feel OK to mention your fears if you want to. My take on this is that people who make comments need to be able to deal with our responses to them. I do understand the difficulty of keeping your composure when someone who has had one mc plus various children says they know what it's like - of course not from your particularly difficult perspective, but from my own awareness that having had 5 mcs is a completely different kettle of fish from having had one.

I do think you make a really wise point that dealing with others' crappy comments is part of our suffering (as if it wasn't enough, eh? ) - as is dealing with medics' language around mc, for example. I've personally found it quite a challenge recently to give my pain the right amount of room in my life - not denying it and pushing it away as I know some people assume I'll be able to do or expect me to do, but not allowing it to overshadow everything as on some of those American sites.

It's quite a challenge to give pain the right amount of room in your life, not denying it or pushing it away, but not allowing it to overshadow everything ( sorry for paraphrasing can't C&P on iPad) Very wise words.

Squiz glad things are heading in the right direction. I agree with Picardy that people who comment need to be told the truth, or they will be equally thoughtless with the next person.

June I have always had some of the wallpaper paste and lochia after childbirth was largely like that too, must be something to do with womb lining in pregnancy. I don't think it's a sign that anything is wrong. If you feel you are not clearing out well that might be a reason to wait for one period before TTC. I've found that first AF is never normal and I'm happier after that one that things have had chance to settle. I liked the bit in the poem someone posted recently about sweeping the hearth and relaying the fire, an optimistic way of looking at it.

News for me is I have my results and what to do next Appt on July 4th so not too long to wait.

happy tuesday everyone. I'm still planted on the sofa but I did get around the house bit yesterday tidying. A friend came around last night for supper with a bottle of wine - it helped .

I rang my GP this morning to schedule a follow up for next week and to ask if the discharge notes from my hospital stay were received as there was a request for referral to an RMC. Reception really was clueless - didn't have any idea of when the letter would be received, said everything was on back log, etc. The poor guy, he doesn't know I will be calling back with alarming regularity. Anyway, I have downgraded from the maxi to the mini bad so am feeling a sense of smug progress.

Squiz I really hope things progress in a good way and I echo what others have said about your tenacity for keeping going.

Hope everyone else is getting on ok, sending all very best wishes.

I am going to wait for tests this time. I waited one period after my first loss and two after my second. Thing is a always had blood in my fertile mucous when ovulating after both losses, not just when the egg ws released but all the time. I don't know if that is normal or not but have read that other women have had it too. That was a new thing after the losses as before I never ever had blood in my EWCM.

Also, no I haven't had a follow up at all. I had my levels tested twice and they were low and falling so the GP was happy and just told me to go to the EPAU this week. It's closed today so will go tomorrow. Very much doubt they will scan me as this loss was so early.

Oh dear late and junebug shame you can't get answers from your medics. I used to think 'follow up- whatever' but thanks to my recent tribulations I am now a bit obsessed with follow up!

Had my 2nd blood test (local hospital - get results Friday) today. Nurse at local hospital lovely but not the gentlest, it was like she was skewering some chicken for the BBQ. [laugh] Fingers crossed my blood is playing nice and returning to normal.

Squiz you must be pretty sick of "follow up" by now. I hope you get lower results on Friday.
I've hit sad today. I think now the physical bit is all over with (seen the back of the maxi pads - hurrah) I'm just gutted that this didn't work out for us again, and I'm losing any hope that it ever will.
We've decided we will both go to the RMC appointment (quite something for DH to decide he's coming, he normally avoids this stuff) and see what the consultant has to say, then we need to have the Big Talk about what to do next. I know there is the whole avenue of reproductive immunology open to us, but I'm not convinced if it's right or fair for our family to go there. There will always be another test we could do, another specialist we could see, another time we can "try again", when do you call it a day? I suppose a lot may depend on whether this baby had a chromosome problem or whether it is me killing them off. I'm not sure what I'll do if we get "insufficient material to test" or "inconclusive results".

Oh Baking I know what you mean about the sad. I've hit it too. I just think I'm cursed and it doesn't matter what the 70% of women are, I will always be in the failure group.

They told me not to cancel my St Mary's appointment. I almost don't want to go.

I hope the meeting brings you more hope and a decisive way forward.

As for my follow up... rather that than a week in hospital and horrid medication for 3 months.

I hope it has come down again Squiz, FC x

Bakingtins, when do you get the results for chromosome problems?

They said about a month, so hopefully at appt July 4th.

Baking & Squiz so sorry you're both feeling really sad. Completely to be expected. I think the process really goes in waves and there's so much practical stuff to sort out that often the extreme sadness doesn't hit til later. I think we'll always be sad for everything that's happened. It gets easier to cope with in some ways but then the stress and anxiety of ttc starts again!

June I've never had blood in ewcm either but any breakthrough/mid cycle bleeding should be looked at if its not normal for you. Could be hormonal?

LateBloomer hope you get sorted with your referrals. It's so frustrating and I've found it's never easy getting sorted out.

News from me is I had my scan today and all was fine! Measured 7.3 weeks which fits in exactly with when I think I ovulated and heartbeat was there. Feeling very relieved and now just need to cross everything and try to stay calm til next scan in 2 weeks. My 1st mc was after I'd had a good scan at 7.5weeks so I definitely can't relax yet. But am so pleased there was something there!!

Hello to everyone else too!

I just don't know what to think. My EWCM has been red tinged since my miscarriages. It was clear and normal before. I wonder if I am not clearing out properly. Would it count as mid cycle bleeding if I am definitely ovulating? I mean I know I am as I get pregnancy first time every time I try. It's difficult to google too as it says blood in your EWCM is a great sign of fertility and a good indication that you have ovulated. Thing is I have it from the moment I am entering my fertile phase.
My GP did run some tests and my hormones came back fine. God I hate this not knowing :(

That is great news about your scan, FC everything is perfect next time too xxx

Tea that's fantastic news! Still holding your breath I'm sure but a little exhale after that scan!

When is your next scan? Are you taking aspirin?

Xx

Great news re the scan tea. Such a happy relieved moment to see a heartbeat.

Baking and squiz, sorry to hear you are sad. It is completely normal of course. Baking, that is quick for the results-I was told 8 weeks. The swines!

Latebloomer, glad to hear you're on the minis now! I have stopped bleeding so impatiently waiting for ovulation.

Junebug, how frustrating about the blood. But if hormones are normal then at least that is one thing. Maybe it is just some residual build up of blood.

My friend recommended some mushrooms to me. We laughed as years ago she was taking different more recreational mushrooms, and now look at us all. She tested positive for ANA, and apparently there are some mushrooms you can take for immune problems. I am hesitating about them at the moment. I don't want to start grabbing desperately at everything. So far I am rattling with vits and minerals, including 10 folic acid tabs! I have a GP appointment on Fri and still don't know who to ask for a referral to.

Also am on a week off work, which is helping. Put an offer on a house today, which is definitely taking my mind off things. Although I was thinking about baby names today- I am leaving my last chosen name to the last mc,as it's all I could give her/him.

Tea that's great news! Hope it all continues to go well.

Don'ttry I'd be v dubious about mushrooms but can understand the feeling of wanting to try anything. Not everything natural is safe.

Hmmmm, so I have spent the evening researching mid cycle bleeding and I actually think there is a chance that I have low oestrogen. I took part in the clearblue trials for the new advanced ovulation tests, I was meant to do it for two months but got pregnant the first time, miscarried then used them again and well I have miscarried again, not once did I get a flashing smile. I always got the absolute positive. The flashing smile meant that a peak in oestrogen was detected but it never was with me. I have been googling and apparently low oestrogen can lead to to miscarriage. I am going to push for a CD21 test to see what's happening.

What do you think? Does this sound like it's an option for a reason for the miscarriages?

That's interesting Junebug. I don't know about it, but all the hormones must be in balance, so I guess low oestrogen would affect the progesterone too. Good idea to check it out.

great news, tea. Everything crossed for it to continue.

June, I don't know much about low oestrogen but I would definitely get any mid-cycle bleeding of any sort checked out, just to rule out sinister stuff.

Donttry, i would prob avoid the mushrooms - I am a hard-nosed sceptic though.

(Sorry all for being a bit brief. Busy and also quite sad. Yesterday anniversary of ERPC for mc no. 4. And look where I am now)

I'm definitely going to push my GP on it and it will obviously be a subject I will discuss when I see the specialist. I think the GP will say it is my body trying to return to normal after the miscarriages, which might be true but when they ran tests everything was normal. Not sure if it would be worth asking for a blood test when it's happening or if the day 21 tests would pick it up.