Recurrent Miscarriage Testing, trials and tribulations...Part 7!

[squizita]

Hi all, carrying on from part 6. All kinicker-checkers, blood-testers, clinic-attenders and finger-crossers welcome. Nothing but love and crossed fingers...

Hi everyone!
I'm so sorry for not posting much on here recently. I've been on an emotional rollercoaster to be honest (& still am). I veer from feeling awful with nausea etc to feeling ok then being totally panicked and convinced its all over. I feel like I'm just living in this limbo land biding my time until the pregnancy fails but the longer it goes on the harder it is. I'm just avoiding people and feel guilty that I'm being such a crap mum to DD at the moment. Anyway so sorry to moan as I know you're all going through horrible times. Have another scan on Wednesday so hoping that will give some clarity one way or the other.

Hi to Blimey and welcome! I completely relate to everything you're saying. My DD is nearly 3 and I feel like various I aspects of my life need an overhaul but I'm not really in a position to sort stuff out as I hope to be pregnant soon (well I know I am but you know what I mean....) and now is just not a great time to be taking on new ventures as I don't really feel like 'me'. Watched my wedding video at the weekend and was nice seeing how happy I was before all this mc crap started!! Anyway, Blimey did you take a test?

How is everyone else doing? Hello to Squiz, Donttry, Baking junebug and Picardy. How are you all feeling? Dontry what has happened with your retained tissues?

Latebloomer how are you and DH doing?

Quick pop in to say... blood down to 05! Clinic VERY pleased with me (not that I did anything deliberately). WOOP.

Squiz that's fantastic news! Good work

Tea- good to hear from you. Completely understand how you are feeling... Mixture of looking forward to and dreading Wednesday I would have thought. And you are NOT a crap mum to your DD. she won't have noticed a thing... We are too hard on ourselves on that front.

No real update from me.. I'm now 31 weeks and finish work in a week...

Hi tea, it is a hard time isn't it, waiting and waiting. Waiting for it to go wrong because that's what you are used to or waiting for it to all be OK....but the wait is torture. I am sure you aren't being a crap Mum but I can relate to the kind of bubble you put yourself in when you are pregnant again, less patience, less get up and go, more worry, more stress, more wishing the days away. It's hard, give yourself a break, I am positive your little one thinks you are awesome.

Squizz, whoo flipping whoo, that is amazing news. Very happy for you hun.

I'm OK, tired as I am finding it hard to sleep at night as my brain doesn't stop with the why's and questions. I'm a zombie in the day time right now. But other than that I'm alright.

Hope everyone is dandy x

Squiz woo hoo!

Tea, I'm so sorry you feel like that. I will for sure be exactly the same if I get preg again. I wasn't after two mcs, but after the third one, I don't think I'll be excited until I pass the 12 week mark. Totally relate to avoid people and feeling like a crap mother! Although I'm sure you aren't crap too, just not as wonderful as usual! I think it is ok, in fact important, for our children, even the smallies, to know that we can be sad or mad sometimes, and that is ok, as long as they are sure it's not their fault.

31 weeks schooldilemmas - brilliant!

junebug, tiredness could be due to your body recovering too. It's a big trauma.

Me again. Had lots of blood tests today. Also has result of swab - no infection which is good.The nurse was so nice. It makes me really emotional when they are nice, like when they made me a tea at St Thomas hospital.

Preg test a bit fainter. If still positive next week do you think I should take the tablets/second ERPC to get rid of the retained tissue? Sorry if I asked that already.

Thanks everyone. I just feel so stressed as my sickness is really easing off and I'm only 8.5 weeks (hopefully) so when it was bad I felt like I neglected DD and now its better I am just stressing (& googling) all time & I am probably neglecting DD! Had anyone else had morning sickness come and go in a successful pregnancy? With DD I was hardly nauseas at all so its hard to compare.

June as Donttry says you've been through a lot and your body needs to recover. Although I can relate to being up half the night and then being exhausted all day. I am waking at about 4am and can't get back to sleep as feel so anxious!

Donttry what did the hospital advise about the retained tissue and how many erpcs have you had before? I've had 2 and both were fine and the 2nd one the tissue was tested so I know what probably caused the mc. Is there a risk of infection?

School 31 weeks is amazing!! Wow!! How are you feeling? So pleased you're nearly there!!

Squiz great news! Zero next week....

Donttry if you still test positive next week I'd get your levels checked on a blood test. You need to know if they are dropping gradually (often taken 3 weeks for me to get a negative HPT) or if they've stalled because there is some tissue in there causing a problem, in which case you need some further advice on if you wait and see or if you go for more medical or surgical management.

Tea I really feel for you at the moment, it is so hard to be wishing the days away until you get past your danger points. We will all have everything crossed for you on Wednesday.

Hi June

School so pleased to hear you are on the home straight!

I feel a bit better and more positive about life in general, although I'm just trying not to think about anything MC related. I have been taking antihistamines for hayfever and they knock me out, I have been sleeping like a dead person, but I think I really needed it, because one of the effects of the pregnancy, all the stress in limbo-land and then the MV was I haven't slept properly for weeks and weeks. I've also started C25K this week and whilst I am more unfit that I thought possible it feels good to be doing something about it.
I think I'm ovulating and hubby is really horny. It feels really odd to be trying NOT to get pregnant for the first time in 2 yrs. We've decided to speak to the consultant in July and then have a heart-to-heart about what to do from here.

Hello all.

Everything crossed for you, tea.

Welcome, blimey - you're in the right place here for some support and understanding.

Donttry, agree with baking - I would get your blood levels tested - I think HPTs are too imprecise really.

June, I'm having sleep problems too - not sure whether they are directly MC-related, time of year (I am quite sensitive to the light mornings, I think) or other stuff that's going on, but I can empathise.

No news from here. I'm 'moving on', I think, as much as one can. Am about mid-cycle. Don't think I'd mind all that much if I don't get pg this cycle, as we are going on holiday for two weeks mid-July and I don't really want to deal with mc crap/worries/injections during all that - nor the next as I am taking the dc away for a week the second last week of Aug! But don't feel OK about putting ttc on hold all summer, so we plough on and see if our particular version of sod's law takes effect.

hi Picardy hope for once sods law works in your favour.

I feel really flat today. We waved goodbye to the student who has been living with us for 6 weeks (DS2 nearly went with her) and home feels a bit empty without her, but it's really made me think about how much has happened in that time. When she arrived I was 6 weeks pregnant and although I was anxious I did feel we were doing something and there was a chance it would all be ok this time. I'm not sure how I can have been through a bad scan, a fortnight of limbo, 4th miscarriage and a lot of soul searching about the future in such a short space of time. I think her being around has been a factor in holding it together stiff upper lip reaction so not sure where that leaves us now she's gone.

Hi all, sorry for the radio silence this week. It's been great to be back at work as it provides a good distraction for me as it's been so busy. My SIL and friends have made it their mission to 'babysit' me as DH has been travelling for work. He is feeling fine - this is the irony, he's not sick- but I know the trip has been tiring for him. He is fit as a fiddle otherwise so that, along with his optimism and his determination, is giving me the strength to feel positive about his outcome. His appointments start this coming week and surgery is scheduled for early July. My work has been amazingly supportive so I know I can take off as much time as I need to be with him which is a great comfort. I am going to focus on getting him well - I want my husband to be healthy more than I want a baby right now- but I will ask the TTC questions of the oncologists and we'll take it from there. Funnily enough my cycle seems to be getting back to normal- my face is full of zits and sprouting hairs and - sorry TMI- I've got some sticky egg white action going on downstairs. I got a referral to the RMC so I need to ring them on Monday to schedule an appointment- DH is the focus but I don't want to lose steam entirely. I have private insurance so I am hoping that will make the wait a bit shorter.

Hoping all is well with everyone. I'm sending good vibes out to you. Thank you for the support here.

Hi tea just wanted to say I am 22 weeks now and my morning sickness has been up and down since day 1 just when I think I am in the clear it comes back again hope u don't feel too bad x and hope everyone is doing ok xx

Tea - what a horrible stressful time for you. Hoping your next appointment is full of reassurance (enough in the reassurance bank to last you until the appointment after that!).

DontTryThis ... if still a line ask for a progesterone test? They may do this before deciding on surgery anyway. My Progesterone took a long time to go down. As a result the tiny amount of retained materials (they couldn't tell if it was part of the mole or normal- couldn't see it as it was flat against the endometrium) was hanging on in there - they didn't D&C me because Progesterone was falling and no infection, the day it his 0 I bled moderately for a week and my HCG started to fall.

Picardy - best of luck, whether than means BFP with perfect timing or BFP with annoying faffing on hols which ends up totally worth the faff!

Baking - hope you feel more upbeat soon. It must be so hard not knowing what to do, I hope the consultant gives you some clarity. I have been suffering with the hayfever as there are all sorts of old wive's tales about over-the-counter medicines slowing the hormones going back to normal, rationally don't believe them but irrationally doing everything.

Latebloomer - glad to hear that DH is feeling well in himself, sounds like he has strength of character and a wonderfully supportive group of people round him. If your cycle is getting back to normal then hopefully it will stay normal until you're feeling ready to TTC.

...as for me. Paranoid as per. Got some boob pain and had a hangover (Spanish restaurant with DH = sangria = goodness knows what in there but it tasted nice) had me convinced I'd spiked right up from 5 to 500 over the weekend. Doh! Hormonal sickness doesn't come with a cheap-red-wine headache. Oh dear though, I've lose weight and haven't really drunk wine for months for various reasons, I'm a cheap date now.

Thanks for the welcome all, I hope everyone on this rollercoaster is doing ok.

I took three tests in the end, all negative, and then yesterday, at cd33, AF arrived. Guess it will take a while for my cycles to go back to 28 days after the ERPC?

Am not feeling too sad today, it's so up and down though, have decided not to ttc now until after our appointment at RMC next month.

Even had a small glass of red wine last night for the first time in weeks.

Am trying to set up a business so may focus all my efforts into that instead for a bit. Not sure.

Sending good thoughts to all.

Hi ladies - reading through your stories I've realised what a tough bunch of birds we all are after suffering the rollercoaster of mc - hugs to all.

I wondered if you could help/point me in the right direction as, as much as I've searched on the googleweb I've not come up with much definitive facts. My story is...

I'm 37, been TTC for over 5yrs (have PCOS) had various lap/dye blah blah but since having acupuncture I have been preggers 3 times in 15 months - but all come to nothing - mmc of twins at 12wks, mc at 5wks 5 and currently going thru' mc at 5 wks. The last BFP I was having 75mg of aspirin and 400mg Cyclogest x 2 a day which obv hasn't helped.

My specialist, Mrs Kalpana Reddy, that has been helping me with my infertility has begrudging prescribed the aspirin/cyclogest and did some basic NHS testing (lupus/chromosonal) which all came back fine. I feel there is 'something' wrong and would like to know where you ladies would recommend I go - I've heard that Prof Lesley Regan/Raj Rai at St Mary's and Zita West are excellent but also understand Prof S Quenby is good too - I have private health insurance and hope I can get treatment thru' this but wondered if anyone could give me pointers as to who to see - I know Prof Regan doesn't test for NK cells but I have no idea if that is applicable to me?! Sorry to be a pain ladies but you all seem to know you're stuff (sadly)!

Hi Ladies,
I'm sorry to read of all your losses. I've just had and ERPC for my third MMC (done with US guidance to hopefully avoid the very long and protracted recovery I had last time - took 7 months to recover!).
Had lots of bloods done after the 2nd and all clear, DH and my karyotype done and both OK. Changed diet from veggie to meat-eater, was on aspirin and cyclogest but all to no avail, it seems.
My GP has sent a referral letter to St Mary's, so hopefully we'll get an appointment soon.
Anyone had any joy with that clinic?
Good luck to all. xx

Hi Dezzy and Polka- I rang St Mary's this afternoon to try to get an appointment. I'm going private as well so will let you know what happens (left a voicemail...will be politely persistent with ringing back. A lot.)

Baking- are you feeling any better these days?

Squiz- how's the hangover? My last sangria was in Portugal a few years back. Totally and completely worth any next day delicacy. All can be fixed with eggs and toast and tea.

DH comes home tomorrow. Counting down till I can clobber him with cuddles.

Hi sorry I've not been on here much lately I don't have much to say most if the time but I have been having a quick read through now and again to keep up.

Tea hope you are ok sorry you are feeling stressed not too long until your next scan now though fingers crossed for you :)

Great news for squiz re levels going down and fantastic news for school not long to go now! Also Lands I can't believe you are 22 weeks that seems to have flown by!

Hope everyone else is ok baking, Picardy, and all the new ladies :)

I started a thread a couple of days ago but thought I would come to the lovely bunch on here for advice or just to talk really, had mid cycle bleeding the last couple of months but this month has been really unusual, last af was very light mainly brown and more like spotting I've had sore boobs since about day 12ish then started to bleed a little mid cycle again cd17. I was tracking ov as still trying to get my progesterone checked, finally got a :) on cd19 by which point I was bleeding pretty heavily, yesterday and today I've been passing small clots and have a heavy dark to bright red flow I did a pg test just to be sure and it was negative. If I didn't know better I'd say I was having a miscarriage it's not impossible but highly unlikely we are using condoms but there has been the odd occasion but its been outside of my fertile period and we've used withdrawal. Been to the docs today as I'm concerned about the mid cycle bleeding each month but she wasn't interested said you are only 26 I'm not concerned told me to mention it to consultant and gave me a prescription for norethisterone to stop the bleeding, then said don't take them if you are having your progesterone tested on Friday but if you are still bleeding after that then take them! Can anybody shed any light? My boobs are still really sore too? Sorry to go on about myself but could really do with some input feeling a bit worried and a bit alone in all of this shit that's happening to me :(

Hello all. Welcome polka and dezzy, and although I'm sorry you find yourselves here, you've come to the right place. Polka, I'm not in the UK but I gather from the others on here and my own reading that any of those names you mention would be a good bet.

Latebloomer, I just want to say how impressed I am with how well you're holding it together in such a frightening time Do make sure you look after yourself too.

butterfly, I am at your GP - mid-cycle bleeding should always, always be investigated, whether there are pg/mc complications or not, no matter what your age is. I think you should push (pref with your consultant) to have that checked out properly. And tbh your last cycle does sound rather as if something was afoot, possibly even a mc , esp as it's not entirely impossible that you will be pg from your contraception practices. Something like this would ring major alarm bells for me (although I have a very, very regular cycle so anything out of the ordinary is suspicious). You need to be listened to and have proper care right now, and I'm sorry you've been treated so dismissively.

that you would have been pg, sorry, not will. Sorry, awful typo to make

Hi, I'm new to this forum business - just changed my online name from dezzy1976. Lovely to hear from such supportive ladies.
xx

Hi picardy I didn't even notice the typo til you said don't worry! I normally have a very regular 30-31 day cycle so this isn't normal for me although it has happened each month since my last mc so possibly hormonal but I still need it checking out, I couldn't believe the doctor especially as in the waiting room there was a big spread on the wall about jade goody dying at the age of 27 then she tells me it's ok because I'm young! My appointment with the consultant is the 16th of July so at least it's not too long to wait. I'm a born worrier so always think the worst but even if it is just hormones or whatever it still needs sorting we are wanting to start ttc after we get married in 7 weeks time, I'm seeing my accupuncturist tonight maybe she can sort me out!

Hi Polka and Justone

LB glad to hear you DH is feeling ok, it sounds like you are staying v positive. I hope this period of not TTC brings you some answers so you can move forward when you are both ready.

butterfly your GP sounds awful, I hope the consultant is more proactive. I did have strange cycles and mid cycle bleeding for several months after my early MCs, my body seems to have got better at sorting itself out dammed with faint praise with the recent ones. I don't want to freak you out but you can get a positive on an OPK from HCG so it is just possible it was a chem pregnancy. Hope that doesn't make you feel worse about it but it seems that thought had crossed your mind already. I think you need someone to examine you properly and do smear, scan, bloods to reassure you that everything is in working order.

Or, butterfly you've had some retained products, which from experiences on here seems to be pretty common, and this is your body expelling them and sorting itself out, and you will now have clockwork cycles and a honeymoon baby. FX.

Baking I do think it's either been an early mc or retained products, my dp said straight away he thinks something was left behind as I've never been right since. Sorry tmi but most of the clots when I've examined them have been brown and had that old end of period odour but the blood I'm passing is bright red does that sound like retained products? I hope it has been that and things will get better now I'm sick I just want things back to normal.
I filled up a little when you said honeymoon baby I really hope so I feel like we've been on this long old road too long now, surely I and everyone else on here deserve a break soon.