Recurrent miscarriage testing and beyond.. Part 6.. Over here!

[orangebowl]

We have filled up the last thread so here is the next.. Deep breath and grit your teeth for the roller coaster of emotions that continues... Hope tea and butterfly and all find it!

Hey LandsN - just saw your post after I posted mine. Glad you're feeling better and that's amazing you're at the 3 month mark next week :-) That is such a milestone to reach and if the bleeding is all gone now hopefully you can start to relax and be like a 'normal' person! (as if any of us will ever have a normal and relaxing pregnancy... but can hope for as close as possible). Sorry, you've probably said before but I've got a brain like a goldfish... are you taking anything during this pregnancy? Aspirin or anything?

Hi guppie I have been taking multi vits since last mc which mw said wont make a difference but its funny how I did when conceived my 2 dc's and not with the others but as this was the only thing I did differently I decided to try anyway and this one seems to be ok and I have been taking asprin for about 4 ish weeks since I first got scanned by the consultant :) I just can't believe and probably won't till I see the scan that I have got this far and I totally agree I don't think I will be normal until I hold baby in my arms !! I have had 2 days of no bleeding at all even though the scan didn't show bleed as still being there I have still bled for last 2 weeks I will relax after Thursday xx

I'm now officially just waiting. So preoccupied by it. I'm now officially, if only for a few hours, late. So ... & ... is that an af cramp or just an unidentifiable twinge???

Fingers crossed for u twenty xx

Not only do I have to bear the shame of repeating myself in my previous post - I have also just shed a spot of pink, so af is settling in. Boo.

Best of luck LandsN!

Aw Twenty, hope its just spotting at the time of AF not real AF... Sometimes happens... Fingers crossed!

Baking - thanks. Yes gonna combine private and NHS. Ironically, local to St Marys ... But I know couples who move to the area FOR the maternity, gynie and MC treatments so NHS lists can be daunting! I'm 34 but want answers now whilst (touch wood) we conceive relatively quickly in case they just say 'yeah keep trying again and again' as I understand that's the most common outcome. People at my local hospital seem positive as its 3 early MCs and I show good fertility.... But I feel a bit downhearted now even though I don't even officially know this 3rd one is over (I do, I know I'll go in on Friday, as they expect same size sac, blighted ovum this week is the worst part, waiting).

Twenty - has af come properly now? Boo if so. I did have a bit of light spotting once when I was pregnant - I think it was a couple of days before I was due. So usually I hope that's what it is when my period starts every month. It's not until it's picked up properly I'm like, yeah, I can't really fool myself that's implantation bleeding...

It's been so long since I was last pregnant I'm finding it hard to remember if I 'knew' I was pregnant before and what the signs were. I remember the first time I just didn't have any signs of my period coming, did a cheapo test and it was negative, waited for a week or so then tested with a pricey digital one and it was positive. I was so happy and so shocked when it all ended in the night a few weeks later. Now nothing shocks me when it comes to pregnancy, I've read so many sad stories.

Hello lovely ladies. Please can I join your thread? I recognise some faces here. Hello to Squiz. I'm glad you have a plan of action. I find helps to feel I have a little control back. About me: I have had 2 mc and a chemical in the last 9months and a threatened one now. I am in limbo lad after a scan about 10 days ago when I should have measured 7 weeks but only had a sac measuring 5 and nothing to see inside it. I have since also had a lighter pregnancy test and some pink discharge on Friday so feeling really low and not at all hopefully. I am 33 and have 1 DS aged 3 which I am truely grateful for and it means we can have children but why do I keep loosing them now. Feel bad as my DS has picked up on things over the last 9months and its not fair on him to have a sad mummy. Flip, why can't life be easy!

Hi Guppie, yes, I'm in full swing here. I could be teary about it but the sun came out and we went out after it. I've bought lots of great food and am about to make lovely organic local veg and local cheese pastys, am prepped for a beef stew night too and loaded up on steaks while at my favourite butcher's. I will have a glass of wine when I go down to cook in a bit! How long has it been since you were last pg? The first time we got pg in the first cycle. Since then each time takes about 3-5 cycles. Next month will be 5 cycles for me since last mc. I was pg for half the year last year. I know what you mean. I knew each time I was pg, but when I feel I'm not pg I doubt that and think perhaps I am. Hope is an evil thing. Your account of your last mc and the lessons you've learned is so sad. I think we're all there.

Do any of you feel the need for others to quit asking you about this in rl? I really hate talking about it now. I hate sympathy and hate being asked if we're still trying. I don't know why. I do keep telling friends that I don't want to talk about it anymore but I can see them watching for clues and I hate it. Even if I haven't had a glass of wine I will say I did just to keep them from wondering! I also plan to hide my next pg from nearest and dearest. Anyone else struggling with this?

Hi Lucky, welcome, sounds like you and Squiz might have fallen off the same bus? I'm sorry to hear about your current situation and really hope Friday disproves your worries.

Hi Twenty, sorry af turned up this month. It's so disappointing. It sounds like you're having a good day and treating yourself, which is good. I bought myself a new pair of trainers this weekend as a little treat. I know retail therapy is a bit shallow but it did make me feel a bit better.

Last July was my last mc and then we stopped trying for 3 months while we had the tests. Started trying again in October, so it's been about 7 months now. It took me 3 cycles to get pregnant the 3 previous times, so it's really taking a lot longer. Weirdly when I had the internal scan the month after my last mc, the consultant said she could see the egg that was about to be released, so I was hopeful I was straight back to normal. But for months after that third mc I had lots of pains that I've never had before and periods all over the place, so I think it did take a while to get back to 'normal'. I feel there now and my cycles have been 28 days for the last few months, so hopefully it will happen again soon. I can't help feeling sorry for myself though that I thought it was just mcs I had to worry about and now it's conceiving too! In the letter my consultant sent to my doctor she said something like 'luckily they have conceived quickly each time.' Not any more :-( And obviously the longer it takes to conceive, the more the dread of losing it will be there I think.

I am with you with hating other people asking about how things are going in rl. I wish I hadn't told so many people about the mcs - my family and my other half's family know, so do quite a few friends and some work colleagues because of the time off I had. I feel like saying to them 'I'll tell you if there's any sodding news, you don't have to keep asking!' I get fed up with having to smile and admit we're still trying and it's not working.

Hi Lucky. Really sorry to hear your news and that you're in limbo at the moment. It's a horrible time as it's impossible to think about anything else when you're just waiting to find out. I wish you the best getting through it and hope you know one way or the other very soon.

(I also just did some retail therapy too Guppie) I wonder if that's a thing about rmc... "at least you can get pg", or, as you and I have had in the past "at least you get pg quickly". People are looking our for it, I feel a bit of a failure and I cannot bear the sympathetic, careful approaches. I actually implied to friends that we have been waiting. It's hard isn't it. I have really valued the help and support of people knowing at the event of the mc, and I haven't minded in the past that they knew we were trying, but I've really changed position now. I have actually told people "thanks for asking, everything's ok but I'm not really into discussing this so much now" and that's lessened direct questioning - can you say something like that? I also plan to keep the next pg to myself for as long as I can, will feign obesity if I have to, seriously, I'm planning to lose a little weight but still wear my fatter clothes just so there's room for me to gain! And I plan the next mc to be "a bad case of flu" as far as work is concerned. I've got some toil I'm holding on to to use for the weekly consultant appts that come with the next pg. Anyway, that must have been weird the consultant telling you about seeing the egg, and I bet that 7 months does feel like a long time. That's positive news though about your cycles. Have you asked about the pains you've been having?

(right now I really AM off to make those pasties!)

Hi Lucky I'm sorry things are looking doubtful for you again. The limbo is horrible even if you've more or less given up hope. If the news is bad at your scan we're here for you (and on the posifrickingtivity thread no matter how un-positive you are feeling)
Sorry that AF got you, twenty

Hello everyone!

Just a quick one checking in to see how you all are. I'm currently on holiday waiting for DH & DD to wake up. It is absolutely gorgeous here & its doing a good job of taking my mind off things! Plus there seem (in my mind!) to be lots of families with just one daughter...there are also lots of families with children close together but I'm ignoring them! Also think going abroad makes me feel less sad about not having a little baby now as its hard enough with one big one!!

Twenty sorry AF has turned up. It's so frustrating but hope you're enjoying all the yummy food. I have found that most people have stopped asking about my fertility issues which I also did frustrating as its like they think I'm over it now. My close friends have been fab but other people who know seem to ignore it. Even my sister (who is single & no kids so totally different stage of life) asked me what I had to feel stressed about... I would like to keep a pregnancy secret til about 20 weeks (if I ever got there) but quite a lot of people seem to know about what's going on and I hate lying. I quite like people knowing so they avoid baby talk around me!!

Guppie hope you're doing ok you sound a bit down. I know why you mean about now feeling you have infertility as well as mc to deal with. I feel the same even though we've only been trying properly for 4 months again now. As soon as we started trying my cycle messed up and I also get random pains through my cycle. Not sure if I'm just more aware of them now or if they're new. I keep hoping that if it takes longer it means my uterus is less fussy and it might work?! If you're fed up I would go back to the consultant and check if there's anything else you could try. I can't remember if you've said before but have you tried acupuncture? I know I sound like a broken record but I'm sure it helps me...although I realise I'm not pregnant & it didn't stop my last mc!

Hello to Squiz & Lucky. So sorry you find yourselves here. I'm sure you'll get lots of support and hand holding when you need it.

Gosh this wasn't that quick was it?! I'm waiting to test - will do on Thursday I think. But I've been having a glass of wine every day since friday as dont want thinking I might be pregnant to ruin my holiday. I have been avoiding non pregnancy foods though - as I'd rather have the wine!! Hope I've not been stupid. Will keep you posted. Trying not to guess & have no symptoms so not sure if that's good or bad.

May I join you all? I've been reading your stories and I'm so sorry for what you've been going through.

I had a confusing and upsetting scan yesterday where there was no heartbeat. I was supposed to be 8 weeks but the sonographer poo poo'd that saying I couldn't be 8 weeks at it was too small and there was no heartbeat. Problem is I had a scan 2 weeks ago and I was told I was measuring spot on.

This will be my 3rd mc in a year I started having tests but the nurse put them in the wrong bottles so the lab didn't test most of them

I really don't know what the future holds right now.

Hi daisybell sorry to hear your story was just wondering if you saw a heartbeat at last scan? That was really bad what nurse done, what follow up have dr said ( can't remember if you said sorry) x

Hi lands, no, I hadn't seen a heartbeat first time as I was only 5+3 so they could just see a sac but said it was bang on.

Then this time there was a blob inside the sac measuring 6.2mm but nothing more. I've got to go back on Monday to have it confirmed.

The nurse seemed pretty perplexed at the number of tests the Dr was asking for. I had another appt to re-do them but fell pg in the interim. The Dr just said if it doesn't work out then I'll go back into gynae care, if it did work out then I'd go into antenatal. That's the sum total of it.

daisy sorry to hear about that nurse - she doesn't sound very sensitive. It makes all the difference when staff are kind (having been through crap cocky male A&E staff and lovely kind EPU staff with prev MCs). BEST OF LUCK. I'm in the same boat as you.

teaandchocolate enjoy your wine... midwife of my mate said 90% of pregnancies have the lady enjoying a glass of wine or a fag before she realises... never worry about before the BFP. I guess that's true then. In my case I went on a health obsessed phase before this BFP and it did SOD ALL GOOD. [ANGRY] What will be will be! Realxation is valuable!

At the moment I'm scaring myself witless with some mild one sided pain. Have had, like, 5 scans and a consultant checking my blood (9500 HCG, 189 progesterone) and telling my I haven't got an ectopic but the moment my tummy hurts on one side (a bit like a kidney pain, but VERY mild) I'm like AAAAHRGH GONNA LOST A TUBE. Dr is like "no, don't come in unless it's bad as we're seeing you Friday anyway". They are v thorough so I aught to trust em.

Hmm... one odd query. After my 1st MC, my cycles changed from 18 days to 22 days... but my OV stayed at day 12-13. I have been wondering if this has caused implantation issues? My GP thought not BUT when I go for tests I will mention this - maybe they can somehow re-set me back to my cycle I had for years before. Dunno how. It wasn't even irregular - just went to a regular 22 days instead of 28, still in the healthy range BUT with a slightly late ov compared to most on 22 days. Hmm.

Squizita I'm so sorry to hear that. I agree with you about the difference staff can make - the initial gynae appt for testing was with a registrar who looked like an aging member of take that and who talked more about his sports car than he did about my insides

Just another quickie as I'm meeting DH & DD by the pool...(I know, I know!!). Anyway AF turned up last night . It was so strange as I couldn't sleep because I just felt so sad like I definitely wasn't pregnant as then got some cramps, went to loo and AF started. I got really upset and was up half the night crying & reading but actually feel a bit better today. Going to eat and drink what I want, try to enjoy my holiday and just focus on the fact that I ovulated and AF turned up 14 days later which for me is a v good sign. I just hope it happens for me...& sticks as every time I see little siblings I get a lump in my throat. Infertility and mc is just shit isn't it. However positive you try to be.

Squiz I have very messed up cycles at the best of times because I have pcos but have found acupuncture helps a bit. I've read that as long as your luteul phase is at least 10 days (I think) it is long enough. But definitely ask about it. Although I found doctors not massively interested in my erratic cycles as long as I ovulate sometimes (which obviously you do with mc) but definitely keep pestering and voicing your concerns. What else can we do??! Oh also I often get pains on one side from the corpus luteum I think. Often think its ectopic but so far hasn't been.

Daisy so sorry you found yourself here. Hope you're doing ok & have some support in RL too. I know how awful this time will be for you. Do you have any DC yet? Do you get pregnant very easily?

Right off to get some sun and eat more icecream!

Tea boo to af but glad u having a nice holiday hope everyone else is ok!!!

Well 12 week scan tomorrow mixed feelings very nervous but excited as well just hope the fact that I have bled almost continuously since last scan apart from a couple of days Is not a bad sign x

Good luck for your scan tomorrow LandsN. I bled from 8-14 weeks with my DS2 and having had a MC previously it was beyond stressful, but turned out ok. I hope you get further reassurance tomorrow.

Hi Daisy and sorry that you are not being treated with more sympathy, not to mention efficiency. You don't need this to be any more difficult than it already is.

Thanks baking I do feel ok but will feel much better after tomorrow at least it early 9am then got a appointment with the consultant straight after and bloods for combined test so full on tomorrow x

Does anyone know about IT? I seem to have made the screen print all large on every site I go to, very disconcerting...

Hi Daisy, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I presume you have had several mc's to already have had input so early on with this one, it's such a hard ting to go through.

Tea, you sound very relaxed! Hope you are still having a wonderful time. It sounds liek a few of us are struggling with similar things at the moment.

Squiz, I haven't had an ectopic but I understand they are supposed to come with right shoulder tip pain, do you have that??? Is it still hurting? And by the time frames you've given it sounds like you might be on the short side of luteal phasesss. Have you asked your consultant? Have you taken b vits?

LandsN fx all crossed for you tomorrow 9am.

Anymore ovulation news Baking?

As for me, very short af here. Light sunday, normal monday and tuesday, and today it has wound itself up, none of the hoohaa I normally get with af. This has happened once before and that time resulted in me ovulating stupidly early, and I do have ovulation pains so, although it's ridiculous I'm going to start opks soon. Ffs, it's only been a few days since I was last poasing on a pg stick!

Tea, I write as I type and realise I commented on your post before the one you posted about AF coming. I'm sorry you got caught. That sounds very prescient of you, and like you had quite a tough night. I hope you're getting some looking after.