hi 12 weeks pg, how can i tell the difference between dark urine and blood when i wipe?

[whiteandyelloworchid]

I think.I might be bleeding, as when I wipe, after a wee I can see a stain on the toilet paper its a sort of Brown colour, do you think it could be blood in the urine, or perhaps just dark urine ?

Don't know if I should try and contact midwife/Dr or a and e or if the NHS make me wait a couple of days for a scan perhaps I should see if j can get in the private place today that charges fifty pounds ?

I just stressed and bit sure what to do

should be a youtube link to oasis, stop crying your heart out

Hold up... hold on... don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile (may your smile) shine on (shine on)
Don't be scared (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

'Cause all of the stars have faded away
Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up (get up) come on (come on)
Why you scared? (I'm not scared...)
You'll never change what's been and gone

'Cause all of the stars have faded away
Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

'Cause all of the stars have faded away
Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
Just take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

We're all of the stars
We're fading away
Just try not to worry, you'll see us someday
Just take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out...

monkeybutt, just so sad we were both ttc together, both had good news to celebrate together, and now this to share, when we should be celebrating

when my son died we have a proper full on church service and churchyard burial, so wonder if it will feel a bit weird just me dh and this little tiny baby
i want to do it though

So much sadness in one lifetime.

The song sounds ideal.

white that is a great choice, such lovely words.

I'm sure it won't feel weird, at least i hope not, i hope it will feel just right and help you both.

How are you feeling this morning and how is your dh doing?

Hi, only just woke up 10 mins ago, so actually have managed to get some sleep.
Horrible waking up though, as straight away I know something shits happened, then it hits me again.

Feel like I need the loo

Dh is still sleeping atm

Really glad you slept.

I remember that feeling, it's the same with any bereavement isn't it, it always hits you like it's brand new everyday at first.

Hope everything is ok and bleeding has subsided.

Glad he has got some rest too x

Thanks my tummy is still hurting, nowhere near as much as it was.

How much longer will my.tummy ache for ? Could.it two.or.three weeks? What about the bleeding?

I don't feel so scared today, physically at.least.
I'm holding yesterday lunchtime really was the peak of the pain and blood loss.

Is it strange that the blood loss peaked about 7_9 hours after the baby came out? I think that's what shocked me

Hoping not holding

White, I've sent you a pm. Been thinking of you through the night. Be easy on yourself.

Mine didn't last long at all, but as i said i was not as far along as you.

I am glad you are feeling a bit better physically, am sure having a good nights sleep will have help so much.

I am sure you're right and you're through the worst now.

Take it easy today xx

Hello again. I just wanted to add a couple of things:

The genetics thing about the baby only having so many instructions and having a short life but fulfilling its potential is correct.

Also, I hope you can take comfort from knowing that when the baby got to that stage, the baby and your body worked together on the next stage. It all happened by signals and messages that were communicated by your baby and picked up by your body. Right to the last stage your body did what it could.

Also to answer your question about the bleeding after passing your baby, yes I think this is often the way at your stage. The placenta was large and well-attached so there can be intense contractions as it becomes detached, and it can take hours or days for it all to pass (even after the baby has) without necessarily being a problem.

When is your scan tomorrow, AM / PM? I hope it goes smoothly and the staff can answer any questions you have.

Take care.

Just to clarify, there can be a quiet spell if lighter bleeding and no pain after passing the baby and then more contractions for the placenta to be passed, passing the placenta us the hardest work. Once that's happened the pain and bleeding should subside, probably .more like the first day

Hope you're ok x

hi i seem to be doing ok today, we followed our plans and buried the baby today, it felt like a goodway to say goodbye.
although it did feel slightly odd doing it in our garden, but im glad we did it.

tmi alert, still passing some big clots, a couple of them seem to have got stuck coming out of the vagina, sort of half in half out, a coupple of times, i've pulled them along a bit, but theres been a couple of times i havent been able to do that.
do you think i should be trying to pull the stuck ones out or just leaving them alone?

also when the baby came out, something that i thought looked like the placenta came out.
right next to the baby.
the baby was about 3x2cm and the placenta looking thing was about 2x1cm
does that sound like the placenta to you?

as i thought what i'm losing now, the blood and clots, is just the linning of the womb?

what do you think

feeling alot better than this time yesterday really.

i have an appointment tomorrow, but i think thats jsut to see how i'm doing, i didnt think they would scan me until the end of the week, or maybe a week after the baby passed
do you think they will scan me tomorrow?

i took some photos of the baby and what i thought was the placenta, do you think the nurse would be able to look at the photo and say if it was the placenta?
do you think she would think its odd if i asked her if i could show her the photos?
dh said that would be weird if i showed her the photos, but i said to him, if we had medical management in hospital they would inspect the baby and anyother products anyway

that was a really nice thing to say about my body doing what it could, as i do feel like ive let the baby down, by not growing it properly
and everyone else dh my mum and dad
but deep down, i know i love that baby and it is not my fault
but still nice to hear my body tried its best

I'm, glad you felt it was a good way to say goodbye, i hope dh thought so too.

As far as the clots are concerned, i really don't know. I can totally understand why you would want them out, don't know if you should pull them out though, hopefully someone else will come along who has had the same experience and will be able to give you some advice.

As you know i was a few less less along than you, when i went to the gp on the Monday she said she would book me in for a scan and someone would call me the same day, i took nearly two weeks before they phoned to offer me a scan. It sounds likes you are having much better care than i did so hopefully they will.

I don't think it's odd that you took photos and i think it would be fine to ask the nurse to look. At least it would help you be clear in your mind and they will know exactly where you're at physically.

You haven't let anyone down, it's nature, your body would have done everything it could. It was only when i went to my gp she told me one in three pregnancies end in miscarriage, i had no idea, and i felt less of a failure.

Don't feel like i am being of much help or offering any wise words sorry x

Glad today went well. I'm not sure about the clots, you should ask tomorrow and see what they say. I'm also not sure whether they'll want to see the photos, as they'll be relying on the scan to be sure that everything is ok. They'll probably just want to know that the baby passed and the level of bleeding you've been having.

thanks fo the help, please don't feel your not much help.
your really pulling me through, i can't tell you how much your helping me, i don't feel so scared or alone with you being there for me through this.
i will always be grateful to you

what do you think im passing now? do you think its the placenta or the lining?
im really hoping that its only the womb lining

do you think a bath might help or really is that best avoided?
been having alot of showers.

i'm not anywhere near as physically scared anymore and thats alot down to you lot helping me through
was so close to calling an ambulance yesterday.

I was told to avoid baths when I had a mc to reduce the risk of infection. The nurse will not think it strange if you take in the photos of your baby. Hope it goes well.
Expect it is the lining you are losing now. Hard I know, but try not to over think, let the medics tell you tomorrow.

I don't know how big a placenta is, tbh. I remember there being a lot to pass though. Nothing got stuck for me. Worth ringing them? I think I remember being told it's a "big" clot if it's as big as a satsuma - sorry TMI. Maybe ask them how big is normal and how big is concerning them. Have you been given a gynae ward number to call?

The stuff about baby's fulfilling its potential, and your body's doing everything it could, is enormously comforting, I found. The guilt of mc is something I still carry over two years later, which is objectively daft.

Glad your little private ceremony was comforting. That's something I didn't have and I do struggle with not having closure.

As hope has just said i would imagine it would be the lining.

I think a bath would be a bad idea too, i would imagine as your cervix is open there may be a risk of infection.

Hopefully you will be able to have a good talk tomorrow and they will answer your questions.

Big unmumsnetty hugs xx

yeah i read in one of the leaflets to avoid baths, i was just thinking might help dissolve the clots
i shall take your advice and just shower instead
last thing i need is an infection

really really hope its just the linnig i'm passing now

i will ask tomorrow

horatia sorry you never got a chance for a little ceremony.
do you think a memorial type thing would help at all?

when my son died, before his funeral, i bought some diamante earing, not expensive at all, and i always think of my son when i wear them.
they now mean alot ot me.
i was thinking of getting somehting special like a necklace or braclet to remember this baby
would anything like that help at all?

Hi. I am so sorry for your loss.
Of course take the photos to show the nurse. It s all so real she will be able to share them with you and won't be at all fazed.
I worked in EPAU and there were so many diverse ways of bringing the reality home. I once had a couple who brought the lost baby from their holiday in France all the way home. Totally understandable that they wanted their loss to be understood and given due care and attention in a place they felt comfortable with. and it helped them as far as I know.

thanks, i tried to explain to dh, the nurses see the babys all the time, as they check every toiletpan when people have medical management in hospital
not saying its not upsetting for them, just they are used to it.
he said it would be a bit odd of me.
i would like to ask the nurse does this look like the placenta, if she said yes i would feel relieved, even though i know its still down to the scan

Hi white hope your feeling better today. Just having a quick flick through and just to say the placenta is roughly the size of your fist. Unless its dissolved into th womb and will come our in clots.
You are doing great :-)