had a miscarriage? waiting to get back to normal to TTC? come join us..

[tedmundo]

There are so many of us in that we deserve a thread....

MC and waiting to get the cycle back to normal before TTC....

Come here to share the stories of never ending bleeding, praying for BFN's and the return of the lovely AF in all her glory!

I have just had the scan. I am still pregnant. There is a teeny tiny 2.9mm baby in there with a heartbeat lying beside a 3cm clot!

Yay yay yay izzybizzy that is wonderful news. Now go and put your feet up and have a well earned relax. :)

Yay, congratulations Izzy! As tedmundo says, relax and take it easy. You deserve to!

Hi all,

I miscarried yesterday at 6 weeks and am devastated. I noticed a little bleeding on Monday but wasn't too worried as had read it can be normal but knew yesterday that it wasn't. They scanned me but couldn't see a pregnancy and then they took a test which came up negative. I can't believe it as I did about 4 tests and they all said positive - feel like I must have imagined it.

I don't really know what to do now, how long does the bleeding last for and when should I expect my period? I'm also worried because I am 36 and diabetic so feel like if I'm going to have a baby it needs to be soon but not sure I could go through this again.

Sorry to see so many women suffer miscarriages and was just hoping to take some support from others.

x

Hi KatieD6, sorry to hear your news. It's an awfuul thing to learn. I started bleeding Friday, although not seriously until Sunday, and I'm still going strong today, the doctors said to expect it to take up to a couple of weeks, I don't know if that helps you guage it? I don't know when to expect the first period. I know what you mean about wanting to get on with trying again. I found it really annoying to hear the doctors say to wait until after the first period as I've alo read that we can be more fertile immediately following a miscarriage. The WHO recomends waiting, but a very well conducted massive research study conducted recently said 80 - something % of births concieved in the 1st 6 months after a miscarriage were successful. It's a confusing time. I hope you're getting the support you need.

izzy what lovely news, i hope it all goes well for you from now on.

Katie, it is horrible going into the scan and being told you have/will miscarry. At first it's like you can't believe it. I'm sorry that you have come to join us on this thread. In terms of having the MC I think everyone is different- I'm still bleeding like full blown AF and having cramps 8 days after mine started, but it is off and on. I think that if you had a test come up negative then you don't have the hormones anymore and that's what I'm waiting for to know that we can start TTC again.

I got signed off at the doctors yesterday for another 10 days. I feel so strange, because I don't feel sad about MC very often, but I have this strange feeling like I just can't do something. Like today taking my daughter to play group, I was so uncomfortable there that I almost left after half an hour.

I hope that when my hormones settle down all this will stop. I want to get back to feeling like me again.

HettyTurner, my partner ad I have just been wondering whether I should think about getting signed off next week so I'm curious about your thought process. Mine is that, I can talk to my partner, yesterday I rang some frineds and my mother for the first time. I'm trying to arrange for some face to face brief visits with friends in order to test myself out. I'm a therapist and a manager and I just don't see how I can manage work. I'm asking my supervisor if he can visit me tomorrow as I've known him for years and he's able to think about me kindly but objectively. And like you, I can't do stuff, I've lost two scarves, the house is a tip (partner is cleaning but I'm creating mountains of mess everywhere), and I bathe but manage to still come out looking like I've had the stuffing knocked out of me. But I can't guess how I will be Monday morning. You feel clear about that?

Hi everyone

Izzy that's such amazing news, I'm so pleased for you! Hope you're feeling ok & really hope the good news continues.

Katie welcome to this thread. Sorry that you're having such a rough time, it is all really horrible & I hope you start to feel better soon. Just don't put pressure on yourself to get back to normal. It definitely takes time physically & emotionally but I think only people who've been through is mc really get it.

Tedmundo how are you feeling today? I've been feeling quite fed up as well. I'm still bleeding 10 days after the erpc which I know is still vaguely normal but it's just not stopping which is so horrible & frustrating. It just makes me feel like I can't get back to 'normal'. How long did other people who've had erpcs bleed for? I can't remember how long it went on for last time but I did bleed on & off for months as hormones were so messed up & I'm praying that doesn't happen again.

Think I'm just feeling quite pessimistic about everything today & my chances of having a normal pregnancy next time. Need some good news stories please ladies!!! Xx

hello
I'm sorry to read about everyone's MC experience.
I had a MC at the weekend, 6.4 weeks pg. I feel ok about it - well, obviously was initially gutted, but once I realised it was actually happening, I suppose I have been trying to be philosophical and tell myself it just wasn't viable. Looking back, the pregnancy had felt a bit strange.

Now, I just feel odd, though. It has made me appreciate my 2 DDs a lot. I've had other bereavement recently and I suppose I am processing everything. I am not sure how I am meant to feel. I just keep thinking how common MC is and, statistically, I suppose it was likely to happen to me if I tried for more DC. My DH does not seem to be bothered at all by the MC although I know he was really pleased that we were (we thought) pg. I haven't told anyone else except my Mum.

Anyway, I am hoping to conceive again soon, though really don't feel like DTD at the moment! Did actually wonder whether my luck has run out and it would be better not to try again, but DH is keen and I do think I want to.

Sorry to hear about those feeling miserable. Just as MC is common, so is being able to have healthy babies, so we've all just got to keep positive. I have ordered a thermometer so that I can temp - though I don't really know what I'm doing with it (not arrived yet so I guess I'll read the instructions). I was on a health kick prior to this and it has totally gone to pot - which is a bit rubbish as I was doing really well. I feel like I've just eaten my own bodyweight in sugar. I am hoping I can get on a more even keel soon...

Hi Izzy, that is fantastic news! So thrilled for you!

Katie, really sorry to read your story.

AF in full swing here, at leat i know things are settling down a bit. Whoever said they'd bought a thermometer (sorry, memory is shot) what make is it??

Another friend pg.... seems to be a baby boom going on (for everyone else) :( everywhere i look there are chuffing scan pics....

Hello everyone

Great news Izzy - congratulations!

I had terrible pains like contractions last night, and finally thought I was going to complete the mc naturally, but now it has stopped. why does it do that?
It's a strange situation when you feel pain is actually a good thing and are waiting for it. I know that things can't start to get better until I have fully mc'd but am getting fed up of waiting.
I am back at the EPU for a second scan tomorrow, and plan to book in for the ERPC for Monday. Assuming that it doesn't happen before that of course.

My doctor has signed me off sick. I have now been off nearly 2 weeks and at this rate will be off next week too. I am rarely off work, so no doubt everyone will be wondering what is going on. I am not going back until this is over though.

Best wishes to you all x

hi everyone, good morning so far?

teaandchoc - I am actually feeling a bit better today, thank you. Less fed up. So far today no bleeding, not even when I wipe. That has helped me feel a bit calmer. The positive preg tests plus the bleeding STILL going on was really starting to get to me.

I started bleeding 2 weeks and 2 days ago, thought I had had a natural MC but needed the ERPC 1 week and 4 days ago. So I know it is early days but being patient is not a strength of mine. Does this help Katie. I do think everyone has different experiences though.

Had to hear 3 preg announcements this week. No-one directly in my sphere but friends/ relatives of friends. Was of course, entirely gracious and happy at the news but was a bit bummed out secretly in my own head.

Which is really not like me as I truly don't have that "why me" feeling about this experience. More like "should I just count my blessings?". I have 2 DS and life is pretty good generally. I swing between the extremes of trying again this very month and not bothering ever again.

I hope everyone is doing OK today.

Hi wriggle, I was just like you about 4 days ago. I couldn't do stuff. I just sat around. On Monday I felt a bit better and thought I'd be back at work on Thursday (I only work Mon, Thu, Fri), then the thought of standing up in front of a class of teenager litterally made my heart pound and palms sweat (and it happened again just writing that).

I took DD to playgroup yesterday and almost turned around on the way there. I just didn't think I could do it. I did though and felt terrible the whole time, but DD loves it there so I tried to enjoy her enjoying it, and I just tried to ignore everyone else.

When I told the doctor she just signed me off for as long as I wanted (caused another little panic at the thought of telling work). Go and speak to the doctor, I just couldn't go back to being the boss in the classroom when I'm feeling like this. Don't go back too soon.

Thanks everyone for your replies. This is maybe a strange question but I new on these forums and am not familiar with some of the abbreviations used. I take it because I have miscarried at 6 weeks, I don't need any sort of procedure to check out my womb? I assume the hospital would have told me if I needed anything? I am still bleeding and feeling pretty crampy but nothing else?

Sorry if this is a weird question!

thanks

Katie

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear all your stories and glad to hear some of you having good news. It gives me hope.

I had my scan on Tues at 11 weeks. This is 1st pregnancy so really excited and had told everybody.

My gyno told me he could see no heartbeat and that I had twins. I am devastated I would of had ready made family. I have been blaming myself for jinxing it by telling people and also for having baths.

Gyno said it was the the egg didn't split right and it wasn't my fault.

I feel in limbo now. I am going to hospital tmw for tablets. I have no idea what these do as I was in a daze at doctors. I am due in hospital again on Sunday for more tablets to go internally not sure what happens all I know is they said it take 8hrs?

I have had no blood but have been getting pains.

I just want it over so I can grieve fully still feels unreal.

I have been signed off for a week. I will have a day to recover after hospital. I hope this is long enough?

I am hoping to try again straightaway.

Sorry for essay, it helps to get it out.

Hello everybody, seems like there are more of us every day.

Izzy that's wonderful news for you. Hope it's all plain sailing from here.

Katie if you've had a natural miscarriage, you won't necessarily need any medical intervention. If they couldn't see anything remaining when they scanned you, and blood test / pregnancy test has shown your hormones have gone back to normal, then you probably won't need do go down the medical / surgical route. Probably worth speaking to the hospital or your GP to check through. I just had some bleeding and mild period like cramps, nothing dramatic. Think it's lucky in a physical sence, but does mean that it's more of a shock when you get the bad news.

So sorry you've had to come and join us Natty. Please don't feel guilty, it's not your fault. I know that's easier said than done. Hopefully the fact that you told people about the pregnancy will mean you've got more people to support you. I haven't been through the medical route, so can't tell you much about that and physical recovery time. Do give yourself time to recover though, emotionally too. I had a natural mc and went back to work after 1 week. I got through it as I was able to mostly hide at my desk rather than having to deal with a lot of people face to face, but still found it difficult to concentrate and felt exhausted by the end of each day. Did help take my mind off things though.

I got a BFN yesterday, so guess my body has returned to normal. My emotions are getting there too I think, after a rocky start to the week. Did have a little wobble today when I read on FB that a friend had her baby today. Genuinely happy for her, but so sad it won't be me in a few months.

Natty sorry that you are joining us on here. Don't feel guilty, I had bought a babygrow in the sales and 2 maternity tops and told people at work because I felt so rotten. I did the same with my first pregnancy and that was fine so you haven't jinxed it. I had a MMC too and had the medical management. It was pretty horrid, I commented on it further up. As you haven't had the firt tablets I wonder if there's still time to ask for an ERPC? The miscarriage started last tuesday and the worst of it was over on Friday, but I only started to feel physically better Mon/Tues and I am not back at work yet.

Hetty I also brought Maternity wear, I even brought a dress for a wedding in June as I thought well I'll be 6 months then.

The doctor told me about ERPC but suggested medical management was the better option for me if I wanted to try again soon and had less risks.

I know this probably sounds weird but I almost want this to be horrible so my physical pain justifies my emotional pain.

I was wondering were any of you offered the remains to bury?

Hello everyone

I have had my second scan today, which confirmed what I already knew. I wanted ERPC on Monday but they were fully booked. I have now signed up for medical option on Tuesday which I am feeling OK about. I just want it to be over though so that I can start to move on.
We will all get through these tough times and come out the other side.
Take care all of you.

Hi,

Been following this thread for a few weeks now and its been so helpful as I'm in the same position, I miscarried at the end of Feb but just waiting for period and then hopefully we'll TTC again.

Its such a headfuck - one day I feel totally fine and then another day I feel so down about it all. I was lucky (ha) in that I miscarried naturally and without too much pain. I already have 2 DS and they def keep me going - a bit too much sometimes that I worry I haven't really properly grieved for this lost baby.

My biggest struggle is because one of my closest friends found out she was pg the day after me and our due dates were identical. She's going for her scan this week and I know thats going to be tough to listen to and congratulate her on. She's lovely and mega understanding but the other friends who we all hang out with don't know that I miscarried so I have to keep a brave face on and act really excited for her which isn't always easy.

Anyway, lots of sympathy to people still going through it as I was so glad once the bleeding was over and there wasn't that constant reminder of the loss and fingers crossed we'll all have some good news soon!

Hello all and welcome muchchocolate. Know what you mean about having time to grieve. I have a dd and while some days she's the only thing that can make me smile, it doesn't give you much time and space. Sounds like a really difficult situation with your friend :(

Had a docs app today (not mc related) and had to wait for ages with all the little babies in for their immunisations. It was pretty horrendous as I acutally started to feel a bit sick and dizzy, somehow makes it worse seeing what might have been, but hoping that my total immersion therapy will mean that bumbs and babies will bother me no more.

I've also started bleeding again today, after having stopped for a few days. Think it's too early to be my AF, as less than 3 weeks since the mc? Has this happened to anyone else?

So sorry for you too womble xx

Hello everyone. Welcome to those who've just joined. Natty so sorry to read your story, sounds so traumatic. I hope you're doing ok.

Womble sorry that your scan confirmed your fears. Also so rubbish they're booked up & you can't have an erpc. I hope you're procedure goes ok next week. Will be thinking of you.

I'm not too bad although been finding evenings hardest as am not busy with DD & have time to think. Also read Prof Reagans book on mcs and feel quite stressed. She basically says at one point that a mc after a heartbeats been seen is less likely to be a chromosomal abnormality/bad luck & more likely due to some problem like clotting issues (although I don't really understand all the various problems that they test for). Both my mmc were relatively 'late' (12 & 9.5 wks) so an now concerned there's an underlying problem. Although I did have D in between. Anyone else read this/ got any views on the symptoms of clotting or other issues?! Sorry to ramble, hope I'm making sense.

Firefli I'm also still bleeding 2 wks after erpc. Stopped for a couple of days & I was really hopeful that was it but then today started again (just brown though) which is SO annoying! Just want to try & feel normal again!

Natty I can understand the pain thing, I think it helped me to accept the loss, feeling the pain and seeing it. It was shocking though, and I coped fine at home just wanted some stronger pain relief. I think that because I's already passed most of it before going into hospital the time I was in there was just waiting around, more time to think (and listen to the little babies)and that's what made it so horrid.

Natty and womble I really hope that you have a better experience than me, the actual miscarriage bit was OK.

I went for my first ever run yesterday, been thinking about doing it for years. I downloaded the couch to 5km podcasts and did it for this baby i won't have. It felt really good, and was theraputic.I feel so much better now.

Hi All.

Should have had my scan this morning and be telling everyone. As it is my dh is working abroad (he always was going to be), I had no scan and today is the one year anniversary of my dad's death. Feel crap ... but have been working myself up for this day so I can, hopefully, draw a line under it an move on (OK, I know it's not that easy but ...)

Still waiting for my AF. Had mc 5 weeks ago yesterday :( If it comes next week I am back to when I should have before my BFP - will I carry on the same cycle? Fingers crossed I do, although I know it is not necessarily that easy.