had a miscarriage? waiting to get back to normal to TTC? come join us..

[tedmundo]

There are so many of us in that we deserve a thread....

MC and waiting to get the cycle back to normal before TTC....

Come here to share the stories of never ending bleeding, praying for BFN's and the return of the lovely AF in all her glory!

tedmundo are you normally so in touch with your body? I never was to that extent before getting pregnant. For some reason, I'm sure it's a part of their training, it's not a part of their jobs for medical staff to take our experiences and the "knowledge" that comes with that into consideration.

I can't imagine what it's like to have to have a scan to confirm it. I'm sorry you had to go through that. By the time my emergency scan came around I was done with the main part of the MC so I knew I was going in just to make sure I was done, and that was hard enough. I can't remember now, if that was your first? I think about what it will be like in future to go to a scan hoping for a heart beat.

I'm a little moody tonight, I've been bleeding off and on since March 16th but this is definitely a period I'm having now so the reality of ttc'ing is upon us and I'm not "hey ho" like I was last time. I'm hopeful, it's just a lot more moderated than it was before.

Hi everyone. I've been on holiday for a week which has been great therapy. Now I'm back and desperate for AF to arrive! I stopped bleeding completely whilst on holiday which is good. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since the MC actually happened so hopefully it cannot be too long now can it?
wrigle thanks for posting about your experiences with the ovulation sticks. I think I will stick with my cheapies and see how I go.

Hi wrigle. No, not really someone that in touch, but having had quite awful sickness for 2 weeks, then it tailed off to nothing I knew something was wrong. Stayed sicky for weeks and weeks with DCs.

I don't blame the GP for being a bit dismissive though. Pregnancy is so very different not only between women but also the different pregnancies of the same woman. I just wish I had been a bit more pushy/emotional and got a scan that bit sooner.

As it was, the baby died at about 7 weeks, but I didn't know until 11 and a half weeks when I had some spotting. I phoned the midwife who sent me straight in for a scan. So there was a tiny bit of hope still in me but in reality, there wasn't a huge shock when the sonographer confirmed there was no heart beat.

Do you know, it is still so very very odd to think that I was pregnant for 3 months and now there is nothing. Like it happened to another person, or in a film, or a dream.

Anyway, I am TTC like mad at the moment, lucky DH, and I just hope it doesn't take too long to happen. But even if it does, that wll just be the start of a whole new set of stresses.

Actually, I think what did spare me too much mental torture was that small bit of bleeding. If I had not had any and then tripped along to the 12 week scan that would have been very very hard.

Hi Hee, welcome back and "congratulations" your bleeding has stopped!!!

Tedmundo, that is weird isn't it. I have on occassion referred to the time "when I was pregnant" and it seems to strange, and yet not that long ago I was pregnant. It's such a fundamental shift and yet the world has kept on about its business.

I'm afraid I do blame the medics a bit for not taking our experiences into account, but I am also a bit unreasonable still, and I do hate having to have any medical intervention, and I don't like being told what to do.... oh dear!

I can well imagine that bit of bleeding gave you enough heads up to take some of the edge off the news you recieved at the scan. But I totally get the hope. After passing everything and going in for my scan and having to have the pregnancy test first when the nurse came back and said it as positive my first thought was... twins! I still have one!! And as I thought it I knew it was fantasy and it killed me. FS, I've become a moody killjoy, I'm off for a glass of wine.

To happier times, very good luck with all your ttc!!!

Arrrrgh been so dumb!

Had given up POAS to see if it was BFN - figured it was just a waste of money and I'd just wait a reasonable amount of time and see if AF turned up. Well its 4 weeks since ERPC today so was getting hopeful of it turning up soon and us being able to resume ttc shortly after...

But worried I've now gone and messed it all up as got drunk last night and DTD without protection . I really want AF to arrive so i know my body is back to normal and although i really want to get pg again i don't want to risk another mc by my womb lining being too thin and by having been drinking! Arrgh so worried - feel like a stupid teenager!

Little Spade- try not to worry. The miscarriage association says that you are at no increased risk of miscarriage if you ttc before your first period. Lots of other medical sites reiterate that too.

I'm sure that if your lining was too thin then any egg would be unable to implant anyway and would just come away like a normal period. You can't have a positive preg test until after implantation.

Try not to worry. Hope af arrives soon
X

Littlespade, hope you get your af soon, or maybe even a bfp!

Haven't really been actively ttc, but have dtd without contraception, so taking vits etc just in case. Not sure if I want my af or a bfp though. I now associate a bfp with an mc, not having a baby (which I really want). All screwed up!

Hi all,
Well the two week wait is increasing by the day, as no AF, but no BFP either . Had v light brown spotting at 10 DPO which I thought hoped might be implantation. Now AF is two days overdue and no sign yet of a BFP. It's been 9 months now since we started TTC and what with MMC and ERPC, it's all a bit of an emotional rollercoaster!
Hope you are all ok

Just stumble upon this thread. Been trying to stay away from MN for a while to keep positive as it does not always help me, but I am starting to ask myself questions as... First signs of AF today after 2nd MC in 6 months - postive progress.. Going to start TTC next month after a darn good holiday (and a lot of cheese and wine). Did anyone get offered extra early pregnancy support on NHS after 2 MC? My doc, said not until after 3 MC, which seems a bit rough. I will be tempted to either lie about having spotting and demand a scan (naughty I know), or say I am so stressed its affecting my health and demand early scans. I know I need to get my BFP before all this, but a little worried about things to come. DH says we can pay for private scans. My first MC was at 11 weeks and awful, second was at 10 weeks but stopped growing at 5, so slightly less awful. Went for natural route on both. Was going to have the drugs first time, but it happened before I took them. Recent MC, was not offered intervention and the whole thing seemed to drag out over weeks and weeks. errrggggghh.

So glad to read people feeling similar things to me. I get fed up with the 'helpful' comments about how it just wasn't ment to be and pick yourself up and try again. It's not that easy

AF is back in residence. so no BFP for me this time...

Hi cotton, very sorry for your losses. I've certainly heard the 3 mc rule for investigations into causes. Would be worth speaking to your go about early scans, sometimes if sympathetic they can help. Some of the other ladies had been discussing private scans and depending on area some are much less expensive than others.

Totally agree about unhelpful comments cartoon. Heart may be in the right place, but mouth is not. You have to give yourself time to grieve and look after yourself (or better still have others look after you).

Hugs to you ethel. After my worrying my af had shown up too :(. So no twins at Christmas for me (not that I'd been calc due dates, assuming super fertility cause my neighbor had twins after mc, planning matching outfits for non existent babies etc). Off on holiday in a couple of weeks, so going to have month off uterus watch, and have a worry free time enjoying the sun and sangria.

Hi cotton, very sorry for your losses. I've certainly heard the 3 mc rule for investigations into causes. Would be worth speaking to your go about early scans, sometimes if sympathetic they can help. Some of the other ladies had been discussing private scans and depending on area some are much less expensive than others.

Totally agree about unhelpful comments cartoon. Heart may be in the right place, but mouth is not. You have to give yourself time to grieve and look after yourself (or better still have others look after you).

Hugs to you ethel. After my worrying my af had shown up too :(. So no twins at Christmas for me (not that I'd been calc due dates, assuming super fertility cause my neighbor had twins after mc, planning matching outfits for non existent babies etc). Off on holiday in a couple of weeks, so going to have month off uterus watch, and have a worry free time enjoying the sun and sangria.

Hi

I had a scan yesterday to confirm I've miscarried.
I'm swinging between wanting to TTC ASAP and not wanting to TTC again at all incase I miscarry again :(

How long have you all waited before trying again?

Well I'm jumping on here a bit prematurely since I'm still waiting to miscarry following a mmc, ercp booked for wed, getting cramping but no spotting ( have put a towel down under the bed sheets just in case but I'm sure that just about guaranteed it won't happen naturally, bet if I put on something dry clean only I might have more luck)
Since I'm banking on diverting my thoughts to ttc when this is over to help me get over it, I'm just wondering as a general consensus did most of you wait until after one normal AF, or just until the bleeding stopped, or even 3 months after the mc? From what I can gather everyone receives conflicting advice from the medics...

Just poking my nose in the door. I lost my daughter at 17 weeks on the 10th April due to pprom. I am absolutely desperate to be pregnant again but can't ttc untill I've had some surgery ( transabdominal circlage) and my bloods have been tested as they think I have Hughes syndrome. I'm still bleeding after the birth anyway so will no doubt take ages to get back to normal.

Dh and I are on completely different pages re ttc :(

Hi all, I lost my baby at 13 weeks last month. I went for the normal dating scan and was told that the baby had a very severe form of spina bifida and that it's head had not formed properly. :-( The baby was alive and kicking away but I was told that it would not survive after the birth and that my uterous was contracting already. The skull had not formed and its brain was exposed. I had to have a termination the next day. It was the worst day of my life, DC1 was an IVF baby and I had never realised I could fall pregnant and we were overjoyed when I discovered I was. Hoping to try again but considering I had not used protection for 8 years and that was my only successful chance I am not convinced it will happen. Waiting for AF, it was almsot 5 weeks since the termination and feeling very periody. Hope everyone here had good news soon.

Evening all, especially to you new posters. I'm really sorry for each one of your losses.

Dilly and First, as for TTC again, the medical advice is that you can start ttc as soon as the bleeding stops (unless there are particular medical circumstances which mean you have to wait). If you conceive before you're AF the problem is with dating, although you should be ok if you knew when you ovulated (ovulation after MC will not necessarily be 'normal' schedule, so you would have to stock up on the opks and test daily). As for when you are ready depends on how you feel. With the hope of a real live baby comes the risk of another mc. I change my mind on a daily basis!

Methe, hope your surgery is sucessful. I don't know anything about Hughes syndrome, but I'm sure if you can find someone who does is will be on MN. Remember it's very early days, and you and your dh must still be in shock. He may not feel the same in weeks and months to come.

KelBelle, hope you have good news soon too. Your body can do it, and think a little miricle is the least you deserve after what you've been through.

Big hugs to all in need (and one to me too, as feeling a little in need myself) xx

Hi everyone. I'm hoping ill find sharing experiences therapeutic. So I'm just gunna put myself out there abit. I really struggle with the fact that my baby didn't develop after 6wks but only finding out at the first scan, I did mc naturally 4 days after. But why not before I don't understand why it stays there when there's no hope. Can I even call it a baby wen it was only 6wk, some people make me feel like I can. But when you thought you were 11wks preg its hard not to have been thinking about the baby and making plans.

Firefil, Thank you :) Hughes syndrome is basically sticky blood, It's also knows as antiphospholipid syndrome. It can cause miscarriages (i've had 5 now), premature rupture of membranes (three times) and abruptions (just once!) also lots of other stuff which is apparent in my family history. I think they'll treat me for it even if I test negative, it's treated with aspirin/heparin.

kelBelle I am sorry for your loss. I think sometimes once you have been pregnant after a period of subfertillity it kind of fixes your body so it knows what it's supposed to do :) hopefully this will be the case with you and you'll have some good news soon.

cartoonface I am sorry for your loss. You have been though something terrible, it's no wonder you are struggling a bit. Of course your baby was a baby, you can call it what you like, don't pay any attention to what anyone else says :) fwiw, I had a similar experience to 4 years ago; I had my 13 week scan to find the baby had died at 8 weeks, it really knocked me sideways because I wasn't expecting it at all and it took me a long time to get over but I was pregnant with my son 5 months after. Of all my miscarriages I think that was the hardest one to deal with, MMC are devastating, don't feel bad about feeling bad!

I feel people around me just getting a bit fed up with my misery. It's been just over a month and don't feel much better. I want to pregnant again as I think that'll help but it also terrifys me

I bet they are not getting fed up with you, they probably just don't know what to say. A month is very little time, be kind to yourself, you cannot expect you to be back to normal already, you are not superwoman!

thank you methe, im stressing myself out so much i dont know how to stop at the moment. me and my fiance are goin on holiday in just over 2wks hopefully getting away will be a huge help to me

Hi everyone

Welcome to the newcomers and sorry for your losses. You'll find lots helpful friendly information on this thread.

I got AF at the weekend - really pleased it arrived and only a few days later than I would have expected from my cycle pre-mc if i take the ERPC as day 1. So looking forward to getting back to ttc, especially as we're off on holiday in just under 2 weeks :)