Recurrent Buns Graduates - Pregnancy and Beyond

[Glitterybits]

Thought it was about time we had a new home for all those lovely ladies who used to frequent the original Recurrent Buns thread, or anyone else who has been through the hideous journey of miscarriage, recurrent miscarriage, infertility, testing etc. and now finds themselves either pregnant and in need of hand-holding (or better yet) with their long-awaited bundle(s) of joy.

I know it perhaps seems a little inappropriate to start a thread in the miscarriage topic but it still seems the most relevant spot for those of us who haven't yet completed the journey - and nowhere else really seemed right or fair to everyone.

I do hope you'll come along and say hello. I do miss you all!

Hi all, posting briefly from hospital because my weekend away with dh has turned into a sleepless night with a feverish F, a temperature of 40 and a day in hospital.

Which became a night in hospital after F had a convulsion. Apparently v common but I thought he was dying. Hideous.

Hoping to go home tomorrow but can't be sure.

Love to all and keep fingers crossed...

Hi. Can I join?

Am here feeding my five day old daughter after 3 mc in short succession.

hairy of course you can join! I'm still waiting for my arrival. I think it would be helpful to all of the girls on the testing thread to advise them of your pg success too.

justmee I can't really offer you any advice. When is your next appointment with your consultant? During your pg, did they give you a scan at 20 weeks to detect possible abnormalities?

frazzled I'm sorry that you have had a scary time with F. My neighbours son had the same thing a year ago and it was really scary. Hope he is on the mend.

I had my 32 week scan yesterday. Everything seems OK. He is a big baby, approximate weight of 5lbs 7oz. I'm still a bit panicky that his tummy is bigger than average, but I am clear of having GD. Apparently I have a UTI as well although it hasn't shown up in any of my urine tests. I've been prescribed Keflex to clear it up. I'm a bit scared of taking any antibiotic as there is a correlation between antibiotics and congenital defects. I don't feel unwell, but I guess I have to trust the advice of the medical profession for it to be safe for me to do this vs. not take it.

yes they offered me on anyway as i had a high nucal fold (if you remember) and they thought he may have downsydrome but after 3 different doctors they all had said it doesnt look like downsydrome as they tend to be smaller his fingers were checked (im not sure why) his brain and thigh bone was checked as downsydrome babys brain mesures slower than there thigh bone and he was actually mesuring bigger so they told me it was a great sign they didnt think it was downsydrome sent me for another triple test and it came back clear so next app they checked the heart for quite a while nothing was spotted but then what my son had doesnt always get spotted untill after birth i would need 3d scanning if i were to ever get pregnant again as its would be the only possible scan to show it clear enough lets hope we dont have to go though it all again i think iv made the decion not to go for more testing as they have told me its not linked i know i have a higher chance having a baby with chd if you have one althought my doctor told me its slim i think i need to try move on rather than trying to find a problem and googling and depressing myself i know kaan would never want me to be like that ..

and my new goal is feel free to tell me what you think ?
kaan ilker trust -
so ım thınkıng of doıng some charity funds ,top sales of everyones no wanted stuff tht they donate and bingo raffle ect and set up a website for people to donate and with all the money i would like to buy toys and teleivisons for the childrens hospital where kaan stayed this willl go on thru out the summer then on the 14th sept (would have been kaans 1st birthday)..
we drive down and give all the children the toys to keep at the hospital just as we wuld have got kaan lots of toys and with the money we would have spent on him we donate tht in too ??? and hopefully have anough to but a tele for each room i myself stayed there for 3 months i saw there toy room they had 3 bikes all broken except 1 they would fight for them there was only 1 room with a tele that they all had to share some kids are not allowed to mix with others due to after op infection risks and it broke to heart to hear them crying becoz they wanted to go watch it or wanted to go play anyway this is my idea just wondered what you guys thought ?

dont know what happened there retype tht last bit again :S

and my new goal is feel free to tell me what you think ?
kaan ilker trust -
so im thinking of doing some charity funds ,top sales of everyones no wanted stuff tht they donate and bingo raffle ect and set up a website for people to donate and with all the money i would like to buy toys and teleivisons for the childrens hospital where kaan stayed this willl go on thru out the summer then on the 14th sept (would have been kaans 1st birthday)..
we drive down and give all the children the toys to keep at the hospital just as we wuld have got kaan lots of toys and with the money we would have spent on him we donate tht in too ??? and hopefully have enough to but a tele for each room i myself stayed there for 3 months i saw there toy room they had 3 bikes all broken except 1 they would fight for them there was only 1 room with a tele that they all had to share some kids are not allowed to mix with others due to after op infection risks and it broke to heart to hear them crying becoz they wanted to go watch it or wanted to go play anyway this is my idea just wondered what you guys thought ?

Hi justmee I think that your project sounds like a wonderful idea.

It is so hard not to panic and expect the worst outcomes when you have known such sadness, but anything that you can do to take the fear out of your life is good. You are right, Kaan would not want you to be stressed and sad. By setting up a charitable trust, you can take your energies into making something good in the world instead of of using your time on Dr. Google to scare you. Please let us know how we can help to support your plan.

I'll secong that LAF, sounds fab justmee :) get in touch with your local press. ill happily paypal over a contribution for the hospital funds :)

im just trying to find a website where i can set it up my week will be busy but hopefully i can make it perfect and can carry on and do this every year i know would have loved to help the children there and i would like to show some apriciation for everything they done for kaan and me and i know alot of the children in the became very close and would love to give them something back thankyou for all standing behind me i hope i can go far with this and keep it on for as long as i can :)

i know it will help me and as i said take time from dr google off my hands and somthing that will make me feel good about myself again something the only thing i can do for my son :( xxx

love to all xxxxxxxxxx

justmee justgiving.com would probably be a good site to use for donations.

yes iv just registered to there thought of that 1st as i have a friend on there but its not letting me i have to donate to uk funds hosp ect as im abroad my hospital isnt even on there :( :S stuck iv just emailed a friends of mine and see if she can help me i hope i dont have to scrap the online idea :(

im thinking of doing a sponsored walk too :) so much to do and .... were getting married this week after waiting 8 years it will feel so nice to have the same name as kaan worst thing in hospital was having a seprate name only having a small registery but it means so much im in no where for a hugee wedding could sit and smile for hours its too soon my partner says next year well have the party :S im not really bothered if tht sounds right lol i use to be but everythings changed ...xx

Oh it's been ages...again. Sorry ladies. Ridiculously busy at this end. Spend most of my life literally running around and achieving very little!

Very quick catch up and I'll be off again, but hello to everyone anyway!

justmee I commend you on finding the strength to think of others at this time in your life. I think Kaan would be so proud of his amazing Mummy. What a fabulous idea for a project and I think it's a brilliant plan to keep yourself going one day at a time and find some positive slant on everything you've been through. Like the others, I am at a bit of a loss on the medical front. I remember your nuchal and the concerns you had back then, but it's so hard to know whether to progress with things which may frighten you further. Massive hugs to you. Oh, and congratulations on your marriage! You are doing so well, being so brave and taking such control of your life. It's incredibly admirable under the circumstances.

frazzled My heart skipped a beat on the convulsion comment. A common occurrence, you say? Terrifying. Hope you're calmer and things are a little less scary now.

Coconuts Great news on the hole being little. Fingers crossed it will heal by itself in time. Glad your wee one loves the baby rice. DD seems to be embracing the introduction to sloppy food at this end!

LAF 32 weeks!!!!!??? Wow! Oh I remember the end bit so well. Try to remain calm. Yeah, right! No, but in all seriousness, try not to panic too much about the size of your little one. DD was a biggun and there's absolutely nothing wrong with her, or her lungs! If you've been cleared for GD, then I'd try to relax. Sorry about the UTI, but Julez will no doubt tell you how common those are in any pg. I think she had about a million!

Waves to mumatron, Lunatic, Julez etc. Hoping no news is good news. Welcome and congratulations to hairy. I agree that you should pop over to the Testing thread and share your good news with those who may be a little way behind on a similar journey to you.

Not much to say from this end, except I'm a bit stressed out generally. My DD is getting to the age where she's too old to come to work with me (6 months now - where did the time go?) and I'm still at the point where I can't leave her with anyone else. Torn between sacking it all off and being a full-time Mum, but I think the odd few hours of work a week might be a godsend for me in a very short while. Also, it looks like I've got an umbilical hernia as a present from carrying my giant daughter. I noticed a bulge after I'd had her and thought it was just my belly button pooching out, but it would seem I may have to accept that I've been rather lucky up to this point and that something finally had to happen to make me believe it's all real! It doesn't hurt...yet...but they recommend you don't leave them untreated in case they rupture. Apparently they're very common after pg, particularly with larger babies.

Love to you all. xxx

Hello there, just realised I never did check in again after the whole hospital drama. NVG, sorry. As it turns out, it wasn't really a drama; they just let us go the next day. However, we did then promptly all get the same vile cold and I have spet he week knackered and sick, looking after children who are also knackered and sick. I have had more fun.

justmee I think your idea is beautful and it's so brave to want to bring some good to others. I would be proud to support it, too.

LAF, hope you're hanging in there.

Coconuts like Glittery said, fab news on your DS. He's obv thriving, long may it continue!

Glittery I sympathise on the work dilemma. Do you mean that you can't leave her practically, or emotionally? FWIW, if the latter it really tore me up to hand F over to someone else - but she's lovely and he loves her and it is, for us, a Good Thing all round. Ouch on the hernia, i can think of nicer souvenirs!

Love to lunatic, julez, mumatron and everyone I've forgotten, and welcome to hairy - congratulations!

Morning all. Making the most of some time off work by catching up with mn and avoiding the housework.

justmee your idea sounds lovely. keep us posted when you get things set up, I would love to contribute in any way poss.

hairy Welcome and congratulations.

glittery ouch! hernia doesn't sound good. My cousin has one after having a baby last year. she is having the op this year to fix it. I have been lucky so far in that we have been able to leave E with family members rather than using cm/nursery. Not sure I would be able to actually leave her with anyone. I did with the elder dc but there were older (2+) and felt a b it better as they could speak a bit.

sf glad to hear you were not in the hospital for too long, hopefully you are all feeling better now?

lf sorry to hear about your Nan, and L's ear. I have had a burst eardrum and it was not nice at all. how's the cat? hopefully your parents visit went well and things have now calmed down in the lunatic household now.

Laf how are you? the end is in sight now! can't wait to hear your birth announcement.

to julez and coconuts

Not much to report here, I have been in absolute agony with my jaw the last few months. I'm waiting to see a specialist as the medication I am on is pretty much useless. Work have been utter shit over the whole thing :( . despite having Dr's note etc to say I need to be on amended duties (call centre based job, not good when you cant open your mouth) I@ve pressured to just get on with things.

on a brighter note, E is doing fab. she is a right little comedian and has us laughing all the time. she is finding her voice at the moment and her favourite thing is saying 'no' to everything . she can point to most of her body parts, if you say to her 'where's your toes?' she grabs them and says 'here is' very very cute.

She has also perfected climbing on things and falling off. we has started waking up in the night again though, usually about 4am

all in all things are good. Dp is hinting for another baby but I am just not even considering it. as much as I love my dc, 3 is enough. I hardly get a minutes peace!

E has just woken up from her morning nap so will be off now, we have to get E weighed as she hasn't put on any weight for almost 2months.

will catch up again soon.

Hi mumatron hope E has put on some weight. She sounds like she is a delightful daughter. Sorry to hear that your work is unsupportive about light duties. That is really rubbish. Could you go off sick for a period of time since they won't work with you? When do you see a specialist?

Lunatic sorry to hear about your gran. You sound like you have so many plates in the air. I'm in awe as I have the pace of a slug these days, just over 5 weeks to go.

I moved last week, so DH and I are together all the time now. I'm impressed by the care I've had since moving last week. I got a GP, MW, and consultant appointment all in 1 week! I don't think I would have had that if I moved to the area where I just came from. Miss G is no longer "managing" my care. I liked this consultant. She seemed pretty down to earth and no nonsense. I'm not allowed to go to the MWLU though. The hospital here said that there isn't a policy to induce on EDD if the baby is large. If they are concerned about placenta function because of my condition, that is another story. I have a scan and appt next week to see what is going. Baby is likely to weigh around 3 kilos right now. The consultant said that she would be more worried if my baby was small based on the height of DH and I.

It's a bit surreal to think that I could have a baby soon. I'm feeling pretty good, just tired, waking up 3 times a night.

Get used to that feeling LAF as you will have a baby soon!

And believe me, the weight estimates are very very inaccurate. Try not to sweat the small stuff. chunky babies are gooood! stronger to get themselves out.

mumatron E sounds and looks super cute. I love her hair! sorry to hear about your jaw :(

lf things sound hectic your end, sorry about your nan :( and poor L's ear but I hope he had a super 1st birthday :) :)

Have an awesome birth sotry from my friend in RL. Few contractions in the evening, decides to go to hospital, arrived at 0130, quick VE and a push and baby pops out at 0146! Now thats how T should have come out lol!

www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Kaan-ilker-Trust/297379353651412

^^ link to justmee's trust page on FB. Get liking and buying, her teddies are so darn cute!

Nothing to report here, T doing well, huge and chunky, he has fat rolls and chins everywhere! 16 week jabs this week, even though he is 21weeks. the bronchiolitis delayed things drastically. DD will be having her preschool jabs then too so weve been playing Drs all week in preparation.... EEK... She's excited, I'm not so!

Waves to the lurkers xxx

Hello... don't know if I've always just lurked here or actually posted before...

anyway I'm 27w pg with twins after IVF with PGD, I was diagnosed with a Robertsonian 13/14 translocation in late 2010 after 3 mcs.

All seems to be going well... just ticking along hoping I won't go early or anything. But I heard a bit of news about a colleague and I just feel a bit funny about it.

She's just left our work - she had a mc in December (early one I think), about a month off work, came back briefly and then resigned. She'd moved departments since I last worked with her so I didn't actually talk to her before she went, just heard the story second hand.

It makes me feel odd because I never had more than a day or two off for a MC. Never really knew how to mourn them - a lot of the medical profession encourage you to think of it as nothing more than a delayed period as I'm sure you all know. And that never really worked for me - I felt like, if this is not worth mourning, then what is? Really, what should I care about? Here I am 27w gone and the world's now full of people who give a sh1t, and it seems odd, because I'm so used to going through pregnancy more or less alone. My OH tried his best in the previous pregnancies but his approach was to ignore the MCs as much as possible, just put them out of his mind - protecting himself, but leaving me very much with my own thoughts. It was as if recurrent miscarriage was like some big smelly cloud that followed me around but didn't touch anyone else. (He's been better this time, starting from the IVF where we were really close and just living the stress together - god I can't tell you how much easier it was than during the MCs. Of course it helps that it worked...)

So why does it matter to me now that I was in that sad place on my own? Well, for various reasons I feel like I never really left. I'm much more spiky and prone to distrust people nowadays, specially the NHS, who were as little help and as much hindrance as they ever could be. I made a really stupid work decision around the time of the second MC too and am still paying for that - I worked in an industry where the jobs were insecure and I was in labs with nasty chemicals so it wasn't exactly the perfect situation for someone with recurrent MC who wants to have kids... nevertheless I loved the job but I left anyway, started a new career that is much more secure and the maternity conditions are better and I sit at a desk. But I miss the lab, I'm not all that good at this, and I can't make the grateful enthusiastic face that's needed to get on here. I'd do anything to be able to go straight back out of here and go back to a lab - anyway this isn't about my job dilemmas it's about trying to live with the idea that I made such a stupid career decision, there are tons of things about this job that I should've known I would hate. The bad job decision means I've been in the sad place for over two years now after the last MC, and I'd like to get out! I knew that at my age I needed to do the IVF as soon as possible if it was to work, so I accepted that I'd need to carry on in the job... and now I've got 7 weeks left to work, and they've agreed to let me take a year's unpaid leave so I've got 2 years of messing about with the wee ones and I should be able to figure out something by then, I could try and get back into the old industry or do a master's or even something creative, as I'll have time like I never had before... I'm in a good place. I have this massive opportunity of getting away from work for a couple of years and making my mind up what I want to do - it's just been so hard to believe I could make a decent decision, having made such a rubbish move last time... and I guess the punchline is that watching my colleague resign a job she's good at because of one miscarriage makes me think, OK, people do mad things because of grief. Maybe I can once trust myself again to know what I want.

Sorry for the novel!

Hello!!!

I have been AWOL for far too long!! Things have been hectic here; Thomas has had another chest infection, DD a sickness bug, I'm doing a college course, trying to read more (on my new Kindle!!), trying to keep on top of the house and other general mum things. There aren't enough hours in the day.

T is growing fast, almost 6mo, and is currently sat in front of me munching a dairylea sandwich and a yogurt while DD does the same on a grander scale! Where does time go?

Glad the funeral went ok LF. Did you manage to sort out DD's fringe debacle? Good news on the leg and ear. :)

Waves to everyone else, who are apparently all lurking in the shadows :o

Yes, I'm still here, wearing my baby! I've reached term, something I never thought possible. The next big dream is holding my real live baby. He's a big boy, 7lbs 9oz a week ago, so just over 8lbs now I'd imagine.

I will just have a little whinge. I finished NCT and liked everyone in the group, but there was one girl who I wasn't so keen on as the others. She and I had the same EDD and she has just smugly posted about how she has given birth, fast labour, water birth, no stitches, aren't I wonderful, sort of thing. It really got up my nose. She had the smallest bump in the group, like how I would have looked at 20 weeks.

Believe me, I am grateful and happy to be pregnant. If I have a 10lbs baby, I am OK with that, but it is just the self-satisfied tone that drives me nuts! Aargh!

Waves to all! I do still lurk, netbook isnt very good at posting and life is pretty hectic. Someone might have wanred me once you turn 30 you dont ever stop!

Welcome to Hairy and buonasera

Laff Any day now by the sounds of things, then it all finally becomes real :o I was a huge pregnant lady with a 7lb 3 boy at 35 weeks! I used to HATE people telling me how big I was!

Frazzled how is F doing now? Convulsions are scary, M had a few when he was a baby.

Lunatic did L have a nice 1st birthday?

mumatron hope you are seen quickly! Jaw pain is as bad as toothache in my eyes! How is E doing?

Glittery and coconuts hope you are all well?

Justme I think of you often, I am glad you are making goals :)

We have a dx for M - ADD and Dyspraxia, waiting on an appt for A with community health over his behaviour but HV is 90% certain he is ADHD :(

O is as gorgeous as ever, climbing monkey though, i dont sit down for a min when hes awake, he still doesnt sleep through (up three times a night most nights) Finally able to have his jabs next week, nurses at GP refused to do them until we had seen consultant over his allergies, which he also has blood tests for next week :) Audiology appt on 12th Mar to see what next step is on the hearing front. It's all go here, we are having bathroom refitted (almost done!) next is to sort out the bedroom situation! I have too little to fit everyone in lol

laff any news?

will try to do a catch up later, off to take dd1 to dance.

Hello everyone. Missing you all and any semblance of freetime I used to have. Beginning to think that I'm just a bit rubbish at time management as everyone else I know seems to manage to juggle work, family time and everything else which needs to be done, but I feel like I'm drowning. I know I need childcare for the days I'm at work, as I get very little done with a baby in tow whilst I'm there and end up bringing it all home with me anyway. Unfortunately, I can't be a very good Mum and work at the same time. Who knew? I just wish there was someone (anyone) I could trust enough to look after my little girl. No real family options, which would make life easier. Feels like it should be me 100% of the time rather than some random I don't know anything about. DD is 7 months now and absolutely gorgeous. Smiley and desperate to move. She can finally sit up by herself and is permanently trying to get going by rocking forwards and backwards. Makes the feeding process interesting!

One good thing to come from all of this mania is that I weigh less than my pre-preggie weight and just have the extra stone I was carrying through comfort eating whilst TTC. Just need to find a bit more willpower to stop eating crap. I'm still feeding DD a few milk feeds myself, so I'm blaming that on bfing weight as opposed to all the biscuits and cake! Nice just to have the one chin again though.

frazzled I know it'd be good for us to get a bit of childcare too. Hell, it'd undoubtedly be good for her too. If I could just stop being so clingy with her. I never used to be this way with DS at all. So, at the moment it's a practical and emotional issue, along with a bit of financial thrown in for good measure!

Buonasera buonasera (!) and sorry for such a delayed response. I can completely understand why you're battling all these emotions. Women give up a lot to have it all and often we don't get it all or anything remotely like we feel we deserve. Everybody copes (or doesn't) with their grief in different ways and I was appalled by the lack of aftercare after my horrible miscarriage. Some of us have an amazing support network and some of us go it alone and suffer the resentment and anger about it all later. It could be that changing jobs was a very good thing for you at the time. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but I imagine there will have been some deep-seated concern about being surrounded by chemicals and trying to get pregnant. I'm not saying they would have in any way hindered but, in my limited experience, there are always what ifs? after any miscarriage about trying for and sustaining a pregnancy.

Huge congratulations on your pregnancy! And twins! Perhaps you will be in a more focused place to restart your old career or embrace a totally new one once they're here safely and you've enjoyed two years with them. I can also vouch for the fact that some (maybe not all) of the madness I felt when trying to get pregnant for so long and battling loss is completely alleviated when you're holding your precious bundle(s) in your arms. A lot of stuff ceases to have any importance in the same way as it did before.

Lunatic Life sounds mental as ever. Sorry to hear about your nan. I would have not only fallen after the eulogy, but probably sobbed incoherently through the whole thing if it had been me. Hormones are bonkers these days.

Coconuts Love the idea of your little chubster necking a sandwich. How cute. Don't they grow up fast? DH made the fatal error of saying he'd have more babies if if were practical or remotely sensible, but it isn't. Still, it got me thinking....stop it, stop it, stop it!!! Thinking I need a hormone extraction. Hope everyone at your end is a little healthier than they were!

LAF So very excited for you. My baby girl was a whopper. You'll be fine. I know what you mean about other smug birth announcements at this stage though. So not what you need. Best of luck with it all and sending lots of luck for a speedy, painfree labour.

Julez Things sound manic as ever at your end. You must be exhausted!!! DD doesn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time most nights either, but she's so gorgeous, so I try not to complain!

mumatron E sounds like an absolute delight. Very cute indeed. My lo hasn't put on much weight either. She eats well, but she's so much more petite than DS was at this stage. Maybe it's a girl thing, but I guess they're all different. Yeah the hernia is a real annoyance as it can't be fixed unless I'm sure I'm done having babies. Talk about decision time. Yes, I know I already made my mind up about being done, but I'm a hormonal nightmare!

Anyway, back to it. Love to all. xxx

mumatron no news from me. Baby is 3/5 engaged, 2 more weeks to go until EDD. Bump is measuring 43cm even though I'm 38 weeks, so I'm not in the "cute" pregnant stage. I'm a Pregosauras rex! Perhaps I will have the world record for biggest bump if this carries on for the next 2 weeks.

julez you sound like you have your hands full. Hope that you are OK.

glittery I can't believe your DD is 7 months old. That's amazing! I wonder how I will cope with work and baby, but I am not going to worry about that for a little while.

justmee thinking of you. Have you had anymore appointments on what your next steps should be? BTW, I put in a request for one of your monkeys on the FB page.

buonasera welcome! Good luck in the rest of your pg. We never forget the ones we lost and that is OK.

lunatic hope that you are OK. L is a year old???

Hopefully, I will be back with news soon of our baby.

LAF Sorry love, I won that prize five months ago! I was measuring 52cms at 38weeks when I was in labout with DS! When they'd popped my waters I dropped a massive amount down to 46cm! It's no fun being big so I know how you feel I hated the stares and the 'gosh aren't you big' comments. Everyone was so amazed the DS came out at only 8lb 12. We were all expecting nearer to 10lb!

glittery Great to hear from you. Wowsa at DD being 7mo now! DS has just started to sit - with zero balance at the mo - but he's trying :) We are much healthier than before! DS has had a couple more chest infections but he gets over them pretty quickly and they've become part of life now.

julez life sounds hard for you at the mo, dyspraxia is not an easy condition to live with so you have my sympathies (I used to live with a boy that had dispraxia so I know first hand how challenging it can be). Hope audiology goes well next week.

Waves to all.

justmee has a website set up for donations now and DD and DS have a monkey on the way. There is a link to the website on the FB page - kaan-ilker trust.