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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Recurrent Buns Graduates - Pregnancy and Beyond

543 replies

Glitterybits · 06/07/2011 21:53

Thought it was about time we had a new home for all those lovely ladies who used to frequent the original Recurrent Buns thread, or anyone else who has been through the hideous journey of miscarriage, recurrent miscarriage, infertility, testing etc. and now finds themselves either pregnant and in need of hand-holding (or better yet) with their long-awaited bundle(s) of joy.

I know it perhaps seems a little inappropriate to start a thread in the miscarriage topic but it still seems the most relevant spot for those of us who haven't yet completed the journey - and nowhere else really seemed right or fair to everyone.

I do hope you'll come along and say hello. I do miss you all!

OP posts:
julezboo · 27/11/2011 21:40

Evening Ladies!!

TheMummyAbroad CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! Max sounds adorable! Is there a piccy to share? Sorry you had a rough time though x

Banana CONGRATULATIONS to you too! Bless DD1 calling her my baby, so cute!

coconuts take my hat of to you decorating AND looking after a baby and a 3 year old!!

waves to glittery lunatic frazzled and mumatron!!

Also mad busy here, DS1 has had a Dyspraxic diagnosis and we are just undergoing weekly Occupational Therapy with him now to determine if there if there is any ADD or Aspergers. DS2 has been referred to CAHMS over his behaviour. He is quite honestly out of control. I end up in tears most days with him.

Oliver continues to amaze me! He turned 10 month about a week ago and has been walking for about 3 weeks already! Proper walking, not cruising the furniture, Walking with no hands!! Plus he has mastered the art of climbing, so as you can imagine I dont get 5 mins atm! MIL has been ill and was rushed into hospital last week by ambulance! I think its my turn to get sick this week, I woke up this morning with stuffy head and a cough but I have appts gallore this week, plus a school trip so I need it to go!!

Here he is!

He has 9 teeth now and one coming through. Still not a great sleeper, Has dropped his milk intake dramatically and due to him having CMPI he has had to start on calcium supplements. He weighs around 24lb now and is HUGE so considering the rocky start with his weight the HV's have now backed off lol

I am almost finished for Christmas, need to get a few more things for the older two and then I am done. Oh and a dress for DH's works black tie do, Night away from the boys. It is SO needed!!

Love to all xxx

digitalgirl · 28/11/2011 15:39

hello ladies! long time lurker returning...

banana congrats on the birth of your DD, so so wonderful!

coconuts you are mental for redecorating before xmas, but I'm also on a bit of a 'must get this house sorted' spree so can't judge you too much. Thanks for updating us on justmee - so pleased to hear that things are progressing for her DS. Keeping my fingers tightly crossed that they get through this.

julez O is gorgeous!!!! Poor you for having him mobile at such an early age. Have fun on your night out.

I had my anomaly scan last week and all is looking well. No sign of cleft lip which was the risk with steroids, so big sigh of relief. Keeping the sex a surprise so we didn't find out. 20 weeks today Grin

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 28/11/2011 16:44

quicky for me, just seen on fb that justmee's ds has had four big ops and got an infection on the last one and they neary lost him last week :( hes only 2.5months. i cant begin to imagine it.

jules O is so bloody gorgeous :)

hairy congrats on good scan. hats off to you i hate surprises Grin

dh has sickness bug and wallowing in his own self pity so muggins here doing everything. if i get ill i wont be able to just sit on my arse so im pretty fecked off with him tbh.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 28/11/2011 17:11

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002100/

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 28/11/2011 17:11

thats what justmees ds has plus no esophagus and now sepsis.x

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 28/11/2011 17:16

the sepsis has made his kidneys fail and hes on dialysis..

excuse the silly short posts but im chatting to her now and she said i could update.

poor little man has been through so much.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 28/11/2011 17:20

^^ up there i put hairy i meant digi Blush

stillfrazzled · 28/11/2011 21:41

Hi all,

So sorry for long long radio silence. Have done literally nothing but work, come home, catch up with kids and DH, try to get ready for work again in morning, fail to sleep, get up, go to work...

Count me in as a full paid-up member of the Zombie Mummy Club.

To make matters worse, we keep going away for the weekend. Is lovely to see friends and family, but instead of getting house clean and organised and relaxing in it, I'm neglecting chores and getting stressed about my grubby house.

But we're all happy. DH is lovely, DS1 got a certificate for being one of the two best-behaved children in his class this term (so proud, although given he's 4, has no interest in superheroes, obsessed with flamingoes and now officially a Good Boy, we do worry about the social side of things...).

F was officially doing absolutely everything he should be at his nine-month check last week (he's 11 months on Dec 4, but never mind). He has also hit the 25th centile for weight, between second and nine for height (oops) and 75th for head circumference - 91st corrected (yowza). Smiley, flirting with every woman within 20ft, generally enchanting.

Banana embarrassingly belated congratulations. Olivia was on my list too, until DH's niece turned out to be one. It's a beautiful name and I'm so glad it's all going well.

Mumatron E's still in a hurry to grow up, then! Walking at ten months, bloody hell. Really sorry about your DP, can understand why you feel that way - I would, too. Have fingers crossed for you, too, that things keep picking up.

Coconuts ouch on the stitches front. Why decorating why why why? You are Superwoman with a wince... Thanks for the update on justmee, I have been thinking of her often. have goosebumps thinking what she's going through, hope her little man continues to hang in there.

Glittery I have nothing to offer but boundless empathy and profound sympathy. And my latest discovery - that baby wipes can be used to clean very nearly everything, including the bathroom and anything that requires dusting. I told you things had got bad round here...

LAF congrats on getting to 23 weeks, or actually 24 now. Are you feeling much movement now?

Lunatic I'm the same, can't face idea of posting long comments via my phone, can't MN at work, don't want to sit in front of a computer when I get home because if I'm staring at a screen too soon before bed, I don't sleep even more than I don't already. IYSWIM.

I will confess that although I was a dreadful PFB mummy with DS1 (no sugar or salt in ANYTHING till one, no weaning at all till six months), F had his first chip at about eight months and adored it. He has also had bits of ice cream and crumble and things. I waited till six months for F, too, but he was so tiny and floppy that food wasn't something he was that interested in.

Julez, god I'm so sorry, that is FAR too much to cope with. Is there any silver lining in actually being in the system now? Is there any decent support out there?

O is absolutely squidgeable, bless him. Cannot believe he's walking, too. Must put F in boot camp and get a bit sterner Grin

digital Yay! for good scan. And I admire your fortitude in not finding out. I am entirely hopeless at waiting for surprises so it's something I v much respect.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 03/12/2011 09:25

Hi all, hope everyone is well and the lurkers are okay too :)

frazzled cannot believe F is 11 months already, that has flown by so fast. Well done to DS1 too. My DD is officially the class bully at playschool so don't knock him for being good!

Just a quick question from me, have you all found it emotionally a bit tricky going back on a contraceptive? My pill is on the side in the kitchen and it keeps winking at me. I'm finding it hard to take it, to do everything I can to prevent a pregnancy after so long trying to do the opposite.

I'm struggling with periods too. I hadn't had one for about 2 years and now since having T I have had two, regular as clockwork so far and I find it a bit much to deal with as I'm so not used to it. They are excruciatingly painful too, I guess that's due to the PCOS. I think that is partly the reason for the struggle with taking the pill too. If I start the pill I will have a period every four weeks, when I'm not on the pill I don't have them regularly. I hate having them and it's getting me down. They make me feel dirty Hmm I don't get it.

I want a hysterectomy Grin

justmee · 03/12/2011 17:58

i cant write to much as i dont even know how to find the words to say my beautiful baby boy passed away last night at 7pm i feel like my life is over i cant live without seeing his beautiful face everyday why did this happen to me why did i get picked i dont know how me or my partner are going to get through this i may not be on here for a while as i just cant find the strenth to read anything about pregnancys and babys please dont take it offensive im sure in time i will be back on here thankyou for eveything you girls have ever done for me you helped me so much throught eveything

r.i.p my beautiful little baby gone with the angels i miss you more with every second that passes :(((((((((((((((((((((((

LAF77 · 03/12/2011 18:58

justmee Words cant express adequate feelings on how sorry I am. It is every mother's worst nightmare. Thinking of you with love and may you find peace in these sad times. May your son be at peace now.

digitalgirl · 03/12/2011 19:32

justmee I'm so so sorry Sad, he put up such a strong fight, may your beautiful little boy rest in peace. My thoughts are with you and your dh. Sad

LunaticFringe · 03/12/2011 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

julezboo · 03/12/2011 21:14

Sad justmee I'm so sorry. There are no words xxx

mumatron · 03/12/2011 22:02

justmee I've only just seen your post. I am so so very sorry for your loss.

I wish I could find some comforting words for you right now :(

RIP little one xx

stillfrazzled · 03/12/2011 22:36

Oh no. I am sorry from the bottom of heart for your loss. Can't think of one useful thing to say, but you and your little lad are in my thoughts. X

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 04/12/2011 21:58

I have passed on all your messages of support and condolences as it is a bit hard for her to come on here as you can imagine. she thanks you all very much.

she is organising to bury her special little boy next to his grandad and she has promised to visit him every day.

i have put her and lunatic in touch so hopefully lunatic can offer her some support as someone who has been through it.

there really are no words.

digitalgirl · 05/12/2011 00:49

Thanks for passing our messages on coconuts, I can't even begin to imagine her pain.

Glitterybits · 09/12/2011 00:45

justmee I am so terribly, terribly sorry. I can't find the words to express how deeply saddened I am to hear this news. I don't know where to begin. He fought so hard to get as far as he did. I know that is no comfort whatsoever.

Much love to you all. I wish I could do anything at all to make it even a little bit better. I wish I could give you a hug at the very least.

We'll be here, if you ever feel capable of coming back for support. I'm so very, very sorry. xxx

OP posts:
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 12/12/2011 17:50

hi just to let you all know that DS hip scan was all clear last week, however we went to gp this morning with a wheezy cough and have been diagnosed with a heart murmur which means he'll prob have a hole in his heart :( really worried now

Silver6 · 12/12/2011 22:35

Just found this thread. Am mum to one wee boy (11 months) after 8 years of trying and 6 early losses. Firstly, so so sorry to justmee - as others have said, there are no words for it. ALovelyBunch - try not to worry too much - I had a heart murmur as a child but no hole in the heart - bizarrely, it wasn't heard again until after my wee one was born and they did tests, scans etc and said it was "benign" (ie no hole in the heart & not dangerous). Apparently, it's very common. Most kids grow out of it and they think mine is a recurrence due to pregnancy etc.

stillfrazzled · 13/12/2011 16:53

It feels a bit wrong to be posting about everyday stuff after justmee's terrible tragedy - if you ever see this, I have thought of you all every day and continue to do so.

Hope the rest of you are all OK.

Am keeping head above water, work seem happy enough as do kids. House a wreck but I can't do everything.

DSis invited herself over to help with the boys on Sat night because DH was away. We had nice takeaway, few glasses of wine and XFactor final etc. Then she got maudlin saying that DS1 def (to her) feels that I spend more time/care on F, and that we'd got so close after DH's op when I had to do everything for him, and now he's back onto being a Daddy's boy, and I do things for F that DS1 never got away with like letting him have a dummy still/sleep in my bed when ill etc etc etc.

Wanted to brush it off and say DS1 is a first child and it happens; that why shouldn't he be a Daddy's boy? He has two parents and DH loves him no less than I do; that F gets things like dummies because I've worked out I was a PFB idiot and insisted on lots of things that made life harder with DS1.

But am still rather hurt by implication that I favour F. And possibly just a little worried that maybe she has a point - as a few of us have confessed before, the crazy-protective thing with the baby I had to try so hard to have...

Bloody family. Need to keep beaks out. Hmph.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 13/12/2011 21:27

frazzled Justmee would want us to carry on chatting, she is doing ok, good days and bad, i was speaking to her tonight and she is happy to talk about things and has even been giving me advice on my DS's heart thing. this life is bloody unfair but i have every confidence that she will get there. She and lunatic have been in contact too and she has so much RL support.

I think you always spend more time on second children, when they're babies as they need more doing for them than the older more independent child.

I do stuff with DS that I never did with DD, doesn't mean I favour him, just means that I'm npt as PFB and anal about everything as much. DD is definitely more of a daddys girl since I was in hospital and since we've been home with DS but that isn't necessarily a bad thing as she's with me all day anyway.

But, otoh, I am more protective of DS than I was with DD. Confused And even more so now I know there are possible health problems with DS.

mumatron · 16/12/2011 17:00

coconuts I hoped It was nothing to do with ds when I saw your fb status :( when will you have more answers? I really hope he is ok.

sf I have to admit I seem to be favouring E over the other dc. that is quite simply because she needs me to. I would think 99% of parents would be the same.

absolutely shattered here atm. I'm starting to think about a trip to the gp as this seems to be more than just normal tiredness. I'm getting a good nights sleep most nights. E is walking properly now which makes life interesting Grin

I've had to cancel her birthday party as the hall i booked has shut unexpectedly and I cant get anywhere else local enough for 10 days after. Tbh i could do without the expense. luckily I've only lost the one deposit.

had a bit o a kick in the teeth last week when work announced I had been overpaid by around £2500 while on ML Shock After looking into it a bit more it was more like £1040 but still it's a hell of a lot of money to me right now. great news just before Christmas.

Anyway, hope the rest of you are doing ok.

justmee thoughts are still with you.

julezboo · 17/12/2011 01:45

Can't do a long post as have a poorly boy who is finally sleeping so need to do the same soon.

Justme - thinking of you Sad

coconuts - ds1 has a heart murmur, they discovered it when he was 9 months old. Funnily enough he was at the hospital on Wednesday getting it checked. It doesn't always mean a hole in the heart/surgery. Ds1's is completely innocent. He is almost ten yrs ol now x I hope your ds's is too xx