The virtual girls' holiday in Ibiza thread - moving on from mc with or without ttc but with plenty of wine and virtual all night dancing

[freelancegirl]

Ok ok I succumbed to peer pressure to create the thread. This is a place for some of us (and anyone else who wants to join) who have been through the downs of mc and are ready for brighter days and a place to chat nonsense away from the How Are You Feeling Post MC thread. The How Are You Feeling thread should still survive, especially for those newly going through the process, but here we can move on to hopefully brighter days.

Really (newly minted with a BFP and therefore the first of the group to be properly ttc) can kick us off with her no doubt filthy dalliance with a Geology student (was it?) in Crete and we can all pretend we are in a girls' holiday in Ibiza. Grab a glass of sparkly and plonk your (this is virtual so we can look exactly as we want to) toned bikini bodied bum on a bar stool! xx

Morning all (well just about)

IC - why do you say IBS? Do you suffer from it?
I was just getting all set to google it as I have a dodgy tummy today - and am in 2ww. I've never had it before as a pg symptom before though, have you?

AF not due for another week though, so probably too early for symptoms anyway.

Are you still 75% sure or have the odds gone up slightly due to another AF free day? So exciting.....

Hi to everyone else - I've got a mountain of marking to do do better get off MN quick before I get sucked in

Blimey! I go out for ONE NIGHT and here you all are running amok (is amok right? Looks wrong).

Phew. I will start where I left off.

Yes the spa experience was brilliant! It was just what I needed. I was feeling like absolute shit and I came out the bath feeling scrubbed, soft and silky. Slathered myself in cream (sorry Cream?) and had a half hour nap before getting dolled up to go out. It was perfect. I urge you all to do the same right now. Really refreshing and restoring. Good on you for the Group On action too Cream! I had a Dermologica facial last year (I really want to have these things more often) and the lady told me how to cleanse every day using a clean flannel. Really has made a difference to my skin.

I don?t think Mr Free (freeeeeee eeee Nelson Mandela....) did come on here but he did once say ?you left your mumsnet thing? open on the desktop computer (I only log it from my laptop) and he jokingly (well, he was smiling) said I should give mn up for the day as it is his birthday. He was obviously joking though, he knows it?s impossible

Cream, I am ALWAYS saying things like ? oh my friend so and so and referring to you guys

As I spend so much time reading other posts too (I am particularly fascinated by the Relationships thread) I have usually say, ?I read somewhere the other day?? and feel really embarrassed as if they questioned me more they would realise I spend most of my day reading things on mn! Especially weird considering the title when I am not actually a mum

Also, it?s a bit odd when you have to stop yourself saying ?My friend Cream, or my friend IC in Madrid or Mopey, Really Useful Engine or Diamonds or Pixie or Blue! And don't even get started on Baby Language Learner in Brisbane. At lease Shell sounds like she could be a real friend, until you mention her surname is Shocked and then she just sounds like an 80s popstar.

I think it is great that Really seems to know my body more than I do

You are SO right, I think I did last go a bit maudlin at the time I was probably having my first AF post mc. So yes, this is probably my second. Ans Jesus, I am bleeding profusely. A big, proper, grown up period now. Weirdly, it feels great! I want it all to flow out of my and make my body normal again. I have stopped feeling miserable I think too. I was so dizzy and weird yesterday but the scrubbing session and nap really helped sort me out.

Great news on the HCG levels Really! you cannot ever leave us. Neither can IC and whoever else might soon get a BFP. How can you even think of leaving when we?ve all just got our matching tatts. Have you not yet dipped a toe in the 'pg after mc' type thread? I would be tempted.

As the resident travel expert I might see if I can get a news slot about your missing period Diamonds. Can?t have you arriving at Gatwick and the AF being at Heathrow! If it makes you feel better I am bleeding enough for Gatwick, Heathrow and Stansted.

Talking of Mooncups I do really want to buy one now. A few years ago there was some sort of Mooncup campaign in Brighton where all the pub loos were covered in Get a Mooncup ads. I never quite got around to it. Pix I am quite offended that the mooncup mantra is that anyone over 30 needs a Large! Had I know that turning 30 would have meant a crater like widening of my bits I would have kept more of an eye on it around midnight that July six years ago. I am pretty sure I would still need a small. It has been commented on and am rather proud of my small bits . I don't like my hands and I would like smaller feet so it's nice to be able to show something off...

I don?t think have regular man action (!) makes you larger either. I am pretty sure it springs back into place after it has been, er, man handled. I have had quite a bit of man action in my time and it?s all pretty intact

I was worried when pg about the after effects of birth and whether it all goes back to shape afterwards. I mean I realise that visually it can change but I was hoping that with the right exercises it can go back. Thread ladies who are mothers, please describe to us the shape of your vaginas so we can know what to look forward to...

That?s a very good description of the ?friends having kids? scenario IC. Things do change. They have to I guess. And things change with or without children I guess too.

75% sure of pregnancy is pretty damn exciting!! I love what you said about ttc and pg post mc being a bit like falling in love after your heart has been broken. I was out last night with a good friend I hadn?t seen since the MC and we had a good chat about it. She had had one last year but even though it was awful she was pleased it happened as she has two kids already and did not want any more. But she said something very insightful in that she was sorry I had gone through this but more for the fact that when (she said when) it happens again I am unlikely to have the joy of a happy and care free pregnancy as I might forever be worrying about things going wrong. Which is true I feel.

All this talk that BLL kicked off about chips, cheese and hangover food is making me so hungry, considering I do have a rotten hangover and I am bleeding like a, well, heavily bleeding person. But we are getting the train out to Lewes in Sussex for a big pub roast with friends. Carbs be damned. I am going to hit the gym big style next week, now I have got a period out of the way and see whether my body starts to behave itself better now it seems to be getting back to normal.

As when the great big Eurovision musical battle was playing out I was necking wine with a table full of friends and tapas (Had a lovely night, I even got up and danced flamenco ? badly ? with the band!) Got very merry but didn?t wake up with the Fear at 5am which is good!) I am watching it now and have to go as I want to get a good look at Simon from Blue?s rippling abs xx

Free I have to 2 things to say following your post.

1. Yay for the full on AF and
2. Do share the 'how to cleanse everyday with a clean flannel'

I do love a flannel - takes me back to my childhood

The cleansing thing is brilliant. I was getting a bit spotty and I wondered why. It was because I was relying on those terribly un-eco face wipes too much. It is very simple:

Use a lanolin-free cleanser. I have found the best one is actually about £1.40 from Boots.

Buy a pack of flannels - I got two 4 packs from ASDA but other supermarkets are available (and much nicer to visit) and use it to take the cleanser off. Must use a clean one every night - bunging them in the washing machine after use. You will never need to exfoliate again! My skin has been great.

Hi BLB! Actually lived on the Gold Coast many moons ago and worked in Brisbane for Southcorp Wines, loved it. We believe that you lived in the UK for now but be prepared for random spotchecks on your Brit food knowledge...

IC If only I could cavort with 80s confectionary all the time. And thanks for the Mooncup lesson, am going to investigate. You're also giving me hope cos we're in the same sitaution but you're a couple of months on. Everything crossed for you and big hugs too.

Pixie I feel the same as you. We're not going to TTC until September because I'm starting a teacher training course (which I would have postponed) but I've already decided we won't tell anyone until after 12 weeks and just feel that the whole thing will be massively scary. From your posts you sound like a really caring and thoughtful person, and if you can see the faults with your own Mum then that will go a long way to being a fantastic Mum yourself.

Free Glad you're feeling much better. And I will love you forever for designating me as an 80s rockstar. Hopefully I'm a cross between Tiffany and the gals from Five Star.

And I also need the clean flannel tutorial. Have a big spot on my chin and have heard that spots on chin are due to hormones so suspect I'm ovulating, especially as very tearful. Gives me hope if I am though.

Happy Sunday everyone xx

FREE - re the moon-cup -
it says so on the box -

have you had children? I am under 30 : I am over 30
No size B size A
yes viginal birth size A size A
yes caeserean size B size A

Glad you had such a great night out, sounds like just the medicine - also glad your AF showed - mine too. have you decided when you'd like to ttc?

We're off to eat lovely roast somewhere now too.

I'm not sure if my addiction to m/n is becoming un-healthy? is 20 out of 24 hrs in any one day too much?

pixie x

Thanks free I shall dig my flannels out and give that a try. I now use a range of Dermologica products, as I was blessed with Pregnancy spots, and they seem to be doing the trick, but I think I fancy adding the flannel into the mix.

Pixie I think 20 hours a day is fine. If you'd said 21 I think I'd be concerned there was an addiction forming, but 20 is within the normal range

Wish I was off to eat roast lunch, bring some virtual leftovers back for me please x

The Dermologica cleanser is lanolin free I think, if you have that.

I am pushing around 22 hours a day but I do stop for occasional food and wine. I think that's fine. For the other two hours I am on facebook and twitter.

I am still rather perturbed about the Big Mooncup for the Over 30s situation. I am clenching my pelvic floor as we speak.

I loved Brisbane actually. Must have been nice to live there for a while Shell. I was in Melbourne in Feb and really loved that too.

MMMmmm. Pub roast calls xx

Well said, IC

Posted that without realizing there was a whole page (on my phone) of comments yet to read. Still mean what I said, but did not intend to so blithely ignore all posts since.

Goodnight all.

Going to sleep dreaming of pub roast. Though DH's roast chicken for dinner was just as worthy.

Will think of something more to talk about than food, next time.

I have just washed up all the remains of sunday lunch. I made roast chicken, mashed potato and vegetables and homemade stuffing. Yummy. I wish you were all here. That is a terrible lie, I ate nearly all of it, so you would have all starved and looked on with horror as I sat stuffing myself. No manners. I am sure there are pools of gravy in my cleavage.

Pixie I think you tend to parent entirely differently to your parents. One of my friends parents like a 1950's housewife and you would never know that she grew up on a hippie commune with dope smoking naked parents. Extraordinary. I think it's a bit like taste, you would NEVER buy a sofa like your parents, would you?

Absolutely agree with you IC about pregnancy after MC (and fx crossed for you by the way, am hoping your funny tummy might be concealing something exciting ). A broken heart indeed. I dug out all my early scans and records for DC today and started comparing gestational sac sizes and Crown-Rump lengths etc and got myself worked up again. I suppose the assumption that all will go well has truly gone and you have to replace it with hope instead. Having said that, I don't usually like being pregnant but this time I am grateful for all the sickness and all the symptoms, so maybe you feel appreciative even if you can't relax.

Cream and Free I love dermalogica too, they're the only products that don't make my skin hurt, I have really sensitive skin. They're quite pricey but they seems to last forever. I love the idea of the flannel, I must get some. Are flannels those little towels you get in hotels? Have no idea. Maybe I could go to the shop and ask if they have any of those flannels that my friends Free and Cream have, they might know you too.

Free Hurray for the proper bleed! I hope you're having a lovely lunch in Lewes and feeling relieved to know what was going on and why you were feeling sad. I know you're fab at looking after yourself but do you reckon you might need some extra iron? I do remember you mentioning you were taking it a while back, but when you said you felt dizzy yesterday, it sounded like you might need a boost. I took Floradix, which doesn't upset the tummy so much.

Regarding mooncups and fanny sizes, I was going to ask IC the resident Mooncup expert whether they feel too big if they're not inserted properly. I found you could kind of shift it downwards if you do pelvic floor exercises and am not sure if you could possibly push it out. You could in the right situation KILL someone with it, they should come with a warning.

And yes, I think it does feel a bit different after having a baby. You have to do lots of pelvic floor exercises to tone it up, if you have stitches it is usually a bit tighter at the point of entry though (am I really actually writing this? ). But yeah, not sure why your fanny would just be bigger cos you're over 30. How strange, am sure it gets bigger with age (like old men's ears, they keep growing don't they?) but 30? Seems unlikely. Pixie I don't think willies have much to do with size, surely? I can see why a 7lb baby squeezing out can have an impact, but willies aren't that big (unless you're shagging King Dong )

We do talk about some funny things here

BLL Oh I would love to go to Brisbane. All my Aussie friends have happened to come from Brisbane, even though I met them all separately (they all seem to know each other though, it seems to be a small world!) Am intrigued by the crisps and cheese thing, how fantastic. Where did you live in the UK? Is it lovely being home? I bet you don't miss the weather here. I love the time difference, it always makes me giggle when new people think you're just a crazy lush when you're heading off to bed at midday after a few glasses of wine.

Free I am glad you're going to do an expose on the shocking mismanagement of Diamonds AF at UK air terminals. The public deserve to know.

Shell Teacher training sounds interesting, will it be full time?

IC When are you going to test? Can you do it in front of a webcam so we can be with you real-time?

Waves at everyone - have I missed anyone? I hope not xxxxxx

Laughing myself silly here! I too am stuffed from all the kebabs, and outdoor made paella: wanted to continue the Spanish theme for a while longer. Am missing all the beach time already. As always on phone, name checking useless. Feel free to slap me. Glad that the afs are arriving, fx for IC. Really: just watch comedies and romcoms. Try to maintain a positive attitude. Fx everything will be a ok this time. Freelance: fantastic news that your uterus is having a spring clean. It needed to get rid of all the cobwebs!:-)mooncup sounds a terrifying prospect. Please post link of flannels. Very intrigued. Would you remove your makeup with remover first, or straight with the flannel? Fascinating the breadth and width of our conversation! We even travel the whole world over, down under and back. Amazing! x

Hello everyone - had a manic few days and completely exhausted but at least it has taken my mind of the irritation of bfn and af (which is in full flow - just to keep you lovely ladies up to date on the exact workings of my ovaries!!)

Very jealous of your pub lunch in Lewes free which pub were you at - we are about 15 mins from Lewes so often there - I love it. Maybe the next MN meet up will have to be there!!

So going to try and not obsess this month about ttc - maybe I'll concentrate on getting more groupon offers I'm obviously missing out on this - but I like the sound of lots of facials and massages!

Wishing I had some of your roast chicken bll no energy to cook here so will be cheese on toast I suspect!

The whole cleanser flannel stuff sounds like Liz Earle system - got given that for Christmas - its great.

Hope everyone has a good week x

Evening all, your lovely and hilarious posts have kept me going through a sad afternoon. Fortunately have just had a lovely pub dinner with Mr Shell. Was our first chance to talk properly about everything has happened and has really confirmed to me that Mr Shell is the one for me in every way. Don't think I could have gone through this with anyone else and he has been very complimentary about me too! (sure the red wine helped) Hope everyone else has had the same.

On another note, q for my ERPC 'buddies'. I've had very light bleeding / discharge since it happened on Wednesday. Now getting a bright red blood, not very much but just wondering if anyone had the same?

Hugs to all and happy Sunday xx

Hi shell I had the same following my ERPC, I had red blood straight after the ERPC which soon turned into brown blood but a few days later it went back to red blood again. This worried me slightly as Red blood indicates fresh blood, however I went to the doc and he checked me over and said it was all normal. Were you given antibiotics after the ERPC?

Sounds like you've had a nice afternoon (under the circumstances) and that you do indeed have a lovely Mr Shell, compliments always help to boost one's self

Right off to dust off my flannel, may even extend the face cleansing to a 'full body' sink flannel wash - or was I the only one subjected to those as a child!

Really yes they are those little little towels often found in hotels. My flannels actually match the colour of my full size towels, as I'm a little sad like that!

Thanks Cream, sounds like all is normal. No antibiotics and no suggestion about doing a pregnancy test at some point either. in fact no after care at all really. Quite suprising as St Thomas' is meant to be one of the best in London. Am going to go to my GP next week to check on everything though.

And have also had a full body flannel wash in my time!

Hi. Just doing my 20 hour check that everyone is ok before go to bed x
All these late ibiza partying nites starting to take their toll. But rest assured. I'll b back x

Good nite everyone (morning to baby tho ) x

Pixie x

Hi all sorry i disappeared for sooo long! Had a littl hospital stay and no internet access ahhhhh! Way too much to catch up on but will go back and check over in the morning!
really so glad all is ok please stay :)
From what ive skipped through about small fannies and king dongs i will definately be back tomorrow to have a good read! Hope everyone is ok x x

Good morning campers. Or rather, luxury villa dwellers on the white isle. I have been up since 5am with another drinking guilt-trip so been randomly reading online before I head back to bed.

Hi Pnj, what do you mean you had a little hospital stay? I do hope you are ok! Yes there's lots to read about here. Mainly talking flannels :)

I too was subject to many a flannel body wash. I actually remember the sensation of sitting in a sink and remembering thinking the taps were uncomfortably digging into my legs. I am pretty sure my parents weren't sink washing me until I was ten so it must be a very early memory.

Shell glad you and Mr Shell sat down and had a good talk. It needs to be done sometimes. It's such an emotionally up and down time for both of you.

Really your roast chicken sounded lovely! And that's coming from someone who hasn't eaten meat for 11 years (Did you know that about me? Probably not. You can all tell me when my period is due and many more intimate details but probably don't know I am a non-meat eater as that's way too trivial a conversation for this thread!). Diamonds your Spanish food sounds luvverly. I am off to Spain myself in a couple of weeks and can't wait. Spain is home rather than a holiday but it will be lovely to be on the beach and to be sitting chilling out with my parents in the evening.

I think those little towels found in hotels are actually more like little towels than flannels. I couldn't explain it but I just feel it in my waters that there is a subtle difference between a flannel and a little towel. Reading that back I am now pretty sure I am wrong. But what I do is rub the cleansing lotion over my face and then take it all off with the flannel. Oh, the flannel has to be in really hot water so sometimes I boil a kettle (although don't put a boiling hot one on your face obviously). And then smooth off the cream with hot towel. Works well in Indian restaurants.

I had a great day yesterday (apart from the guilt-laden 5am wake up this morning). We were at the Snow Drop Mopey, where are you? Had a huge nut roast, sitting around a large wooden table with a bunch of friends, and shared a banoffee pie. Then we ended up back at a pub in Brighton watching a friend's band. Actually the others were watching the band but I was making a new friend. An 84 year old man who I chatted to all evening. He was fascinating. Very well spoken and lived and travelled all over the world. We nipped outside for a couple of cheeky smokes together. He had some amazing stories. We swapped numbers and said we would meet next week! Whether we will or not I don't know.

Thanks for indulging me with the Bits after Birth conversation Really. I am sure there must be some changes. Stitches probably do help! Not sure why I am worrying about it being that I might not even ever get to that stage. The idea of being pregnant now terrifies me. I held a baby yesterday though and it was a positive experience so that's something. He is such a cutie. He was thrust upon me as my friend (a good male friend) knew I was a bit scared of dropping him/him screaming as soon as he was with me, but it was fine.

Gosh I've done a lot of bleeding this weekend! Even though I've eaten and drank for England over the last week my tummy feels strangely flatter. I am really hoping that the bleed now really means that my body is getting back to normal. I have to call Dr S's office this week and see whether I have been put on the waiting list. I know they have accepted me and I am down on the list to be on the list (spoke to them last week) and they told me to call again this week and see whether I have been moved from the list to be on the list, to the actual list. Geddit? When I am on the actual list I will be given a date. When I am given a date I will be starting to ttc. Scary stuff.

I tell you what else is scary stuff. I have been reading about that poor women in Tenerife. I actually had a bit of a cry about is yesterday. It was just such an awful thing to happen. There's not much to say about it really I guess.

Is it almost 7am already? Might be time for me to go back to bed. Must stop drinking and beating myself up about it. Apart from dinner tomorrow night in London, which will no doubt involve a significant amount of wine, I foresee a healthy week needed.

Really how are you feeling? Are you having symptoms? We haven't really discussed the possibility of a baby yet have we, but I was wondering when your due date is? Are you allowing yourself to think that far or just getting by day by day?

It's funny that, now I feel I am getting over the mc to a certain extent, is there any more reason for me to be on here? Probably not, but you are my friends and I am very fond of you all so, like Really and anyone else who gets pregnant soon, I am probably going to stick around too.

Also, I've just been reading this (apologies now for the unhealthy addiction to the DM website, I realise it's sacrilegious):

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1387142/Kate-Silverton-reveals-trauma-IVF-treatment-ended-joy--natural-way.html

good morning all, I am too doing a quick sneaky check before I get into the shower.
Glad you had a good day yesterday free the snowdrop is great, we live about 15 mins norht of Lewes in a small village. Hopefully with all that is going on your body is getting itself back to normal. Hangover for a monday morning is quite impressive, I'm going to try and have a calmer week this week!
Time to get ready for the day!

pnj are you okay? Hospital sounds a tad alarming (although from the tone of your post, I'm guessing it wasn't too traumatic)

Shell, no antibiotics or follow up as such here, either. Not all hospitals think it's necessary. After all, anti-bis only lower your immune system and make you more susceptible to things like thrush. So don't worry, you'll spot the symptoms if you do pick up an infection and then anti-bis will do the job.
I did a pg test off my own bat to confirm a negative.

OK, flannels/towels:
The difference is the type of material.
Flannels are made from - erm - flannel and towels from toweling. Flannel is more absorbent, which is why they are good for washing with and towels slightly less so, which is why they are good for drying with.
Does that make sense??!!

Ah yes, nature has an amazing way of coming through when the medics have tried everything, eh free? I have friends who conceived naturally and unexpectedly after one baby was produced from numerous attempts at IVF; another couple who conceived naturally (she at age 42) after no luck conceiving naturally or with IVF (and years of trying) - they had given up. I also have a friend who had six mcs then successfully had a baby. Life will find a way!

PS Still no AF....

Test, test, test! Can you test yet IC? I am still up - seems a bit odd to go back to bed now - and was just reading a very large thread about children/no children at weddings. Since my wedding was last year I am not sure why it is relevant but I find it fascinating from both sides of the argument and there were some, shall we say, impassioned posts :)

That is a very informative, educational and revelatory insight into flannels versus towels (flannel and towelling - why didn't I remember that?). I feel like I have learned something and it is only 8am.

PNj Are you okay? Sorry to hear you had a hospital stay, how are you feeling?

IC Get thee to the pharmacy and get a test! I am waiting with baited breath. Thank you for the flannel/towels clarification. Along with your extensive knowledge of sanitary protection, you ought to be a school matron.

Free Interesting that you should wash your face with a hot flannel, my dermalogica lady said my skin should never be washed with water, just the ultra calming cleanser. But I think that's because it's sensitive. I have never had a full flannel wash and I imagine I might have to wait 50 years until I get my old lady bed bath. I will probably still be on this thread too, I don't want to leave either! Am sorry you had a 5am wake up, I always, always used to find it happened during AF, I think you might get that little bit hotter which always woke me up. Do not beat yourself up, you are doing amazingly and pretty soon you will be on the list for Dr S, not the list for the list for the list, but the actual list, and then you will be as good as gold whilst ttc. Make hay whilst the sun shines, I say. You day sounded lovely yesterday and your new buddy sounds interesting. What were you talking about? (Being nosey).

And you're vegetarian. Ooooh. Never knew that. I have terrible iron levels so eat tons meat. I spend most of my life craving bloody steaks and liver.

Okay, today we must all reveal something mundane about ourselves. Since we know all the big stuff, lets do the boring stuff. Mine is: I am a bookworm and read all the time. Mainly novels, although occasional history books about victorians.

Mopey That area is stunning, you lucky lady. We should do a weekend Brighton meet up! Us London ladies can travel down together . Another groupon offer definately sounds in order.

Shell I had a natural m/c but the bleeding did change from brown to red to brown to red etc over two weeks. A bit like pant traffic lights I suppose. I think the rule is that just when you think you will keep bleeding forever, it will stop. Apart from Free who is mentioned on page 573 of the 2011 Guinness book of records for 'Record Number of days bleeding in recent history'. I am sure there was a wife of Moses or summat who bled for longer. But that was a good 2000 years ago now so doesn't count. It's great you and Mr Shell had a good chat, you both deserve it.

Am sort of aware of my due date but am trying to ignore it, after last time it will just be another day to dread if this goes wrong. Am not feeling so sick this morning so am worrying that my hcg is dropping. Oh flipping hell, don't want to be worrying all the way through.

LIG hello lovely, am sorry I didn't respond re, your SIL ignoring you. I think she might not know what to say. Pathetic but possible. Is she pregnant too?

Heh heh heh....think I might just make you all wait for the fun of it....

I arfed muchly at the thought of being the school matron. It would have to be a girls' school, given the niche aspect of my knowledge (!)

Another veggie here - for almost twenty years now, eek! DH and DD are also veggies. If DD decides she wants to eat meat when she's older, I won't stop her, but it'll have to be a treat when we're eating out.

Ah, I remember interviewing a fabulously spry woman who was 80 and found her totally brilliant - she'd had a really interesting life and was still living it to the full. She put it down to the fact that she'd never married or had children (!)

Kids at weddings, yesish, is my view.
We realised we'd have about forty kids at ours if everyone brought their offspring - which we simply couldn't fit in. In the end, all the niblings came (they were brides/bridesmaids too), babes in arms were welcome and we said to everyone else to find childcare if they could, but by all means bring their children if that was too difficult. It worked out fine, in the end. We had a fair number running around, but not enough to turn the reception area into a school playground.
Most parents wanted to get a bit squiffed without worrying about their LOs anyway, so it didn't take much persuasion for most to offload theirs.