The virtual girls' holiday in Ibiza thread - moving on from mc with or without ttc but with plenty of wine and virtual all night dancing

[freelancegirl]

Ok ok I succumbed to peer pressure to create the thread. This is a place for some of us (and anyone else who wants to join) who have been through the downs of mc and are ready for brighter days and a place to chat nonsense away from the How Are You Feeling Post MC thread. The How Are You Feeling thread should still survive, especially for those newly going through the process, but here we can move on to hopefully brighter days.

Really (newly minted with a BFP and therefore the first of the group to be properly ttc) can kick us off with her no doubt filthy dalliance with a Geology student (was it?) in Crete and we can all pretend we are in a girls' holiday in Ibiza. Grab a glass of sparkly and plonk your (this is virtual so we can look exactly as we want to) toned bikini bodied bum on a bar stool! xx

BLUE - have you tried using the ovulation POAS ?
(heheheh thanks everyone for info on this one !!! - I'm becomming a proper m/n user [yippeee]).

They cost around £15 from chemist (I boughts boots own brand) & you get 7 sticks) - they work in same way as pg test - you count around 14 days from date of last period (or in our circumstances, bleed, clot removal, gunk in knickers etc...) & pee on one a day until you get two lines.

We used these in our circumstances & I got pg 1st time... . & I know of others who used these same ones who also got pg.

I've got some left over from last time, so will use them again.

FREE - this is 1st AF since m/c. & am defintely getting symptoms.
BLOATED, WINDY, CLUMSY, TIREDY (where is snow whitey?) .

LIG - are you pg?
REALLY - any news?

WAves & hugs to MOPEY, JEMIMA, SHELL & IC (where is DIAMOND - MICHY - CREAM - WL?)

virtual creamy/chocolatey/brandy laced cocktail heading your way.

Mary
(AKA - I used to be a PIXIE until I got pregnant & they didn't believe me & renamed me Mary )

FREE - I am working out AF from my post pg dates -
I had D&C op on 12 April.
My (post pg) period would have been due on 17th.

I stopped bleeding on 26th April. so period & m/c bleed should have been together.
My pre. pg date to ovualte would have been 26th April.
I'm pretty sure I did, not long after that, as due to copious knicker checking I noticed change in colour/texture of discharge etc ...
I mentioned ovulation on here & Someone (sorry not to remember who) said that they'd had a scan not long after m/c & was told that they were either ovulating or about to or something similar. & had been told that it was very possible to do so, so close to a m/c...

I don't know as I don't trust my body any more, but my AF should (I hope) come soon so we can ttc again. I really want to.& hope hope hope that my bloody body wont let me down.

MARY x

I'm glad you asked those questions, free! I was wondering what all that stood for myself. (I'm pleased to say I worked out POAS all on my own )

pixie, your hospital experience sounds like one big piece of crapola

Ooh, I'm envious of your temporary escape from the mantle of motherhood with ne'er a care, bll! I'm still too new and PFB about it to have that kind of confidence yet.

Yep, we're well clear of the zone here in Madrid, LIG. Such a shame for the people and the heritage in the area that got hit.

Thinking of you with everything crossable crossed, Really.

Well, it's good to deposit a little anticipation into the thread!
Today's update: still no AF, tummy still feeling odd so things are looking promising for a BFP.
Thanks for the "positive" (!) feelings blue and everyone else.

CD
cycle day (as in menstrual cycle)

DTD
doing the deed/doing the dance (having sex)

2ww
2 week wait -(from time of conception until you can test)

SWI
shagging with intent (trying to conceive)

(ps - I'm not a swat - I copied & pasted them from acronym page )

I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't know much about it all

Yes as pixie says CD is cycle day - you count the day your AF starts as CD1 (i think).
You're probably right in that there are not always signs of ovulation - and I remember reading somewhere else that sometimes its a good sign if there is no EWCM, as it must be inside, where it is meant to be.

I did try the POAS ovulation sticks this time pixie (but cheap ones ). I've never had to use them before to get pregnant but was just curious really. I've been reading a lot about them and they can be quite unreliable. If I don't get a BFP this month I may start temping next month - but I also don't want to get to obsessed about it all. Its a fine line I think.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this website before www.beautifulcervix.com.
Don't look if you're easily offended (but I think I'm pretty safe in saying that none of you are ).
It consists of lots of photographs taken inside the cervix over a cycle - so you can see the changes that occur.
Quite fascinating.
It did inspire me to see if I could 'find' my cervix and I think I have .
I do check it occasionally, and am starting to notice the differences across a cycle.

Oh, no TMI here! I am fascinated by finding my cervix. If I wasn't blobbing brown again I might skulk off and check mine now too! I am going to check that out later. Maybe after afternoon tea :)

I don/'t know if this will help but my DP says she can feel her ovulation.
she gets period-like cramps in her tummy& is very emotional around that time (more so than at period) & v.hot body temperature. maybe this is same as clacking ovaries???? .

there is definately a change in discharge/liquid.

Cervical Mucus ? How it Relates to Your Fertility Cycle
... As your cycle progresses, your cervical mucus increases in volume and changes texture. The changes in the mucus that is secreted from the cervix reflect where you are in your cycle. The consistency of your cervical mucus changes during the cycle due to hormonal fluctuations.

You are considered most fertile when the mucus becomes clear, slippery, and stretchy. Many women compare mucus at this stage to raw egg whites...

(I didn't write it - i found it on a webiste, but I think it explains it quite well)

It can start from 12 or so days after your last period. i guess it's hard when you are not sure when this is....

I'm sure that i ovulated as there was significant changes in my mucus (anyone else hate that word?) around 26th April (which according to my pre preg. dates should have been when i was!!!).

How is everyones???? if that's not too personal?

Mary x

THIS WAS INTERESTING ALSO -

The most common ways of collecting a cervical mucus sample are:

* Inserting your finger into your vagina and collecting some mucus.
* Using toilet paper and wiping the entrance of your vagina and analyzing the mucus collected that way.
* The most accurate way to collect your cervical mucus is to insert your finger into your vagina and circle your finger around your cervix or as close as you can to the cervix. This will allow you to actually collect the cervical mucus instead of just it?s wetness.

Monitoring the changes in cervical mucus is the only method that will not require looking back to the past few cycles for analysis, and also provide reliable results that you can trust when trying to conceive. You can do this yourself by getting a sample of your cervical secretions and stretch it between 2 of your fingers (the thumb and index finger) to test for the consistency. Examining the changes in your cervical mucus can help you pinpoint your time of ovulation and increase your chances of pregnancy.

Before Ovulation (low chance of pregnancy):
The first few days following menstruation, there will be little or no discharge present. You will feel dryness around your vulva. During this time, chances of getting pregnant are low.

Approaching Ovulation (chance of pregnancy):
The first discharge that does appear should be moist or sticky and should be white or cream in color. In the finger test, the mucus should break easily. You will only be able to pull your fingers about 1 cm apart before it breaks. During this transition time, first the mucus will become cloudy and slightly stretchy during the finger test (this means that it will still break before the fingers are stretched all the way). As time progresses, the mucus will become greater in volume.
Pre-Seed Lubricant Pre-Seed Lubricant
Pre-Seed is the only sperm-friendly moisturizer! This internal lubricant will not harm sperm. Available in several specially priced packages. Also available ? Pré and Pre-Seed combo for both internal and external moisture!

Right around ovulation (high chance of pregnancy):
At this stage, mucus resembles egg whites. It is the thinnest, clearest and most abundant at this point in the cycle. Finger testing will allow the mucus to stretch quite a ways (several centimeters) before it breaks (if it breaks at all). ) The amount of this thin mucus will steadily increase until you experience your ?mucus peak?. This is the last day of this period where the chance of conception is high. It is closely tied to ovulation. During this phase, the sperm?s survival rate is higher. It can survive in cervical mucus for up to 72 hours, a significantly longer time than during the rest of the cycle.

After Ovulation (low chance of pregnancy):
After ovulation, there is a marked change in mucus appearance. It returns to the sticky stage (does not stretch during finger test) and there is again a feeling of dryness around the vulva.

One caution for this test is that sperm can be confused with the mucus secretions and you could make wrong assumptions. Also, vaginal infections, medication, and birth control can alter conditions and should be taken into consideration when examining any vaginal secretions.

If you are interested in charting your cervical mucus to try and pinpoint your time of ovulation, you can download our free cervical mucus charts.

Wow, every day's a school day! Thanks for all the info guys, will be saving this for when we're ready to go again.

Free I love afternoon tea, never fails to make me feel posh (about the only time I am!), where are you going for it? Think I might treat myself soon, have a great time.

Thinking of you IC and Really and LIG and hoping for some good news soon for you both.

Pixie what an awful experience. Mine wasn't as bad but after we found out at the scan, they kept me waiting for 2.5 hours to book in for the ERPC. They only moved when I started crying because I just wanted to go home. I saw that Mumsnet are putting together a document for the Government on how miscarriage should be treated and I really hope it does some good.

Hi Blue, thanks for asking, am still doing OK. My best friends came round last night with wine and really helped me feel normal again. Have been shopping with my Mum this morning and have come back to the wonder of Dawson's Creek on Sky which I can highly recommend as medicine.

Right heading off to the sun lounger to hopefully perve on a pool boy called Jose.

Erm, I leave you all alone for a morning, I come back and you're all having a good finger and comparing your cervixes .

Sorry not to namecheck, but I raced home to tell you that I had the scan and I am 5-6 weeks pregnant after all. There was a heartbeat and a yolk sac and a fetal pole so it is clinging on for the time being. I was so scared and couldn't stop shaking and the only thing that got me through the hour before the scan was thinking I had you ladies to come back and tell, whatever the outcome, and you would all support me if it was bad news. So a big thank you to you all.

I am waiting for the hcg result, I should get it late this afternoon so I am hoping it has doubled since Tuesday. The gyne says I am not out of the woods yet, I have progesterone pessaries to use but I am back in two weeks for a follow up. Fingers crossed.

Big kisses, I feel so lucky to have you all to tell. xx

Yay!!!!

And yay, yay, yay!!!

That is such good news, Really!!!

It's brightened up my whole day.

Really So happy for you! You must be going through lots of emotions but stay positive, sounds like you're getting the medical bits to help you through. Friday the 13th has turned out to be very lucky for you. Big hugs and virtual cocktails x

Is it Friday 13th? Thank heavens I didn't know that this morning, it would have finished me off. Thank you IC and Shell

Fab u Li cious x REALLY. WOT great news. I have to dash now but will log in later. I'm so happy for u x

Yippee Really! That is great news. it does however mean you can't resort to brie and wine now.....

My pg test confused me more as the less sensitive one was +ve and the more sensitive one was -ve. It should be the other way round. Sort of know that it is probably a bit of left over stuff as it seems to like it in there.

pixie and blue good to hear about mucus. i got some knew things to pee on last night and was very excited about it all. (my DH thinks i am going mad but finds it very funny as our bathroom and house is full of wierd home testing kits!) discoved i do not have glucose in my pee, my cholesterol is fine and my FSH is inexistent which means that at 10pm last night i was not ovulating! now i am thinking about mucus checking but to be honest my mucus has been fairly quiet since the mc so not sure what i will find! i was considering creating my own lab in my home as a second business.

shell glad you are doing ok and trying to do nice things. i am trying to now get out of my hedonistic phase as i have spent too long drinking too much, eating too much crap and only doing fun stuff and now our flat is a state, we need to move in a month and have nowhere to live and loads of paperwork to do and my to do list at work is so long and people are starting to forget who i am from my lack of attendance at work over the last few months. having said that for a while i was more than well enough to go out with friends but too sad and depressed to do the ironing. so was my dh

this looks like a long rant rather than a quick congratulations to really. bye for now x x

Just a quick one to say 'great news' to really that is brilliant - take it easy now and try not to stress about it - easier said than done.
I've been hit by af - knew it was coming so actually quite a relief really.
Will pay attention to all the ovulation tips for hopefully a more successfull next month!
Have a good weekend everyone x

Oh really what a turn around! Your emotions must be all over the place. Positive news though yay!

Mopey sorry to hear you got a bfn, fingers x'd next month is your month.

IC we're all watching you now. Actually I was expecting my AF this week, based on the cycle I had following the mc, but it's yet to arrive. I do have AF type symptoms though so think it's coming. It's strange as part of me doesn't want it to come but the other part of me wants it to come to know everythings working ok, if that makes sense!

LIG what a confusing test result. Do you think it's def retained products? Have you seen a bfn since the mc (apart from the cheapy one you just did)

BLL sounds like you have a fun filled social life at the moment - enjoy!

Hello also to iloveblue, free, pixie, shell, arti, who's prob living it up in China and everyone else

Great news really - I'm so pleased for you. xx

Evening all! Gosh what a day. So pleased to hear of Really?s good news. How incredible to think you had to work that out on your own, with the flipping idiot of a sonographer telling you otherwise. It?s amazing news and we will all travel hopefully with you. We are right behind you on one big Travelling Hopefully Bus.

I have something of a confession. I said to my DH today that I think it?s been the first time I have been genuinely delighted that someone close to me (and I feel you are someone close to me) is pregnant.

In my previous life, before pg and mc, I was never really pleased when any of my good friends told me they were going to have a baby. It?s hard to explain, I was pleased for them if they were happy about it but weirdly selfish, thinking about how it would affect our friendship and social life. I wanted the girls to stay out with me! Over the years the female contingent for my night time gatherings has been dwindling. I see my friends with kids, and am just as close to them to a certain extent, but we really have to arrange things far in advance and then sometimes they have to cancel. Much as neither parties want things to change, they inevitably do. I think it must be different for those of you who live near close friends, but my good friends and I live so far away from each other. I would love it if they lived close by and I could pop in for a cuppa and hang around with them and the kids, but the nature of our social lives together has always been very much about meeting up for drinks after work and at the weekends and inevitably when you have children these things take more planning. These days it means myself and DH going to spend a night with them over the weekend. Which is always lovely but sometimes you want to stay in your own home on a weekend (particularly as we both work 'away' all week).

I would be (and am for Really) totally over the moon to hear about anyone here being pg, especially after what we have all been through,

It?s ironic that just as I was thinking if you can?t beat ?em, join ?em, I get pg and have a mc. I think I am growing up a bit finally now though. I only feel able to express these emotions here. Although actually I could tell my best friend as she was exactly the same as me and even though she loves her little girl and wouldn?t change things for the world she can still relate. Half of me is so tempted to go back and delete this, in case you all think am horrible. Actually, I am reading this back and something that also strikes me is my naivety that people tell you there ?are going to have a baby?. I think I have been reading way too much about mc at the moment as I certainly can?t equate being pg with definitely ?going to have a baby?.

Talking about reading too much about mcs. I feel rather exhausted by the new posts on the mc board. II almost can?t bear to think that other people are going through this. I really want to reply and help them through it, but the whole process is exhausting. Sometimes there seems to be so many of us coming through! If people join us here it is much easier to talk to them as you know they have read our posts. I want to reply to everyone ?new?, scared person who is asking about bleeding, symptoms, treatment etc etc but just don?t always have the energy. It?s almost like I feel I am wearing myself out worrying about everyone else?s mc as well as my own! I was even thinking about poor Kelly Brook and hoping that she manages to create a pseudonym (not that I was born Freelancegirl?) and comes on here and gets some support.

Maybe my hormones are just screwed today, what with the random bleeding? I have also been getting, albeit very much milder than the excruciating pain I had when starting to mc, slight pains running down my pelvis and upper thighs. So strange.

Am I being a bit too pensive this evening? I blame the Blob. Over 8 weeks since I first started to mc and dark brown goo is still with me ? I really am the Incredible Bleeding Woman! Do I get a prize?

Now, about cervical mucus? I thought I had a couple of blobs of it in the last couple of days but then it went brown! But what I was going to say is I think I might usually feel it come out in a short of a blob type thingy ? does anyone else get that. And then after it has been left to set (!!!) for a while it can get a bit viscous!

Pixie that was v good info about ovulation. I am really going to try to get my head around it soon so I know when I go for treatment. It was me who was told I had just ovulated and this time I really knew I had. I had aching, almost like a tiny stitch, in the left ovary. Maybe it was so pronounced as I had not ovulated in such a while.

Hi Shell! Afternoon tea was fab. Yes it did feel rather posh. Lovely scones and thick clotted cream. Cucumber sandwiches were lush too.

Bloody hell LIG, what different sticks to pee on you have! I want some too. When is your next docs appt?

I am weirdly jealous of your AF mopey. I am not sure, what with the constant stream of action in my pants over the last 8 weeks, whether I have actually HAD an af or not. Ok it means you are not pregnant but it must be strangely comforting to know your body is at least doing what it should do.

Waves to everyone else xx

Really, fantastic news. I feel more than just a little flutter of excitement for you, imagining what it must be like to see that heartbeat after having had a mc. Wonderful news.

Still waiting to hear from my sister. Either she is still waiting to test, or her AF has arrived and she is processing her disappointment before telling me (she volunteers this information to me, I never ask her outright).

Free, that is a great post, I am glad you didn't delete it, isn't the point of this thread to be a place we can share our virtual drinks but our real thoughts, without fear of being judged? I think I understand a little of what you are saying, but from the other side. The friend's 40th lunch I had the other day - when I ended up making last minute arrangements to make sure I could stay on all afternoon / evening - I did that partly for myself because in 3.5 years since DS was born I've not done that. But I also did it largely for her, because before I had kids we use to share loads of really fun social occasions together, always being the last ones standing for a night out. I wanted to show her that I can still be that person to celebrate the good times together, even if it is not every weekend. She is someone for whom life has just not turned out at all (so far) the way she wanted it to (eg she is single, no kids, overweight and she is surrounded by people who have the partner and kids that she hoped she would end up with). I know much of her social life involves her doing things that are "family friendly" for all her friends with kids, and I can imagine that must have its moments of being kind of frustrating. So for her birthday it was great to be able to participate in a way that made it all about her for a change.

And about a pg necessarily equating to "you are going to have a baby", when I was pg with my DCs, it was always strange to get through the first 12 weeks worrying about "what if", only to announce the news and be somewhat surprised, but ultimately comforted by, everyone's delight and their ABSOLUTE certainty that nothing will go wrong. Because we can get caught up into the world of MC (especially on these boards) and forget about all the people who have never had to find these boards because everything actually did go just fine for them. I know they exist, because I use to be one of them, until I started TTC for number 3.

It is hard to express this in a way that won't make me sound a little selfish - but, Free you need to take what you need from these boards - you came on here for support yourself. If it is getting to the stage when you feel a bit drained feeling like you need to respond to every new person's thread who has just had a MC, that is understandable. So do go back to what I am sure was the original advice given to you (when you first came on these boards after your MC) and look after yourself.

Sorry if my post has missed the point of yours entirely!

LIG I can relate to your hedonistic phase! We have a close friend's wedding next weekend and I really think after that a bit of a detox will be in order for me.

IC yes I've definitely stopped being PFB, but almost without realising it instead I sometimes slip into becoming the matyr who feels guilty for leaving the kids. Even though DH never experiences the same guilt-type emotions. I am sure this has been discussed on the feminist boards, might go for a bit of a poke around there.

Until next time, ladies. Great to be keeping in touch with you all.

Morning everyone.

REALLY - any news on yr HTC levels?& how r u?

FREE- PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF. BE KIND TO YOURSELF. YOU DESERVE IT TOO. YOU DO NOT NEED TO RUN AROUND LIKE BLUE-ARSED FLY SORTING EVERYONE ELSE OUT JUST BECAUSE U HAD M/C. TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU X WE LOVE YOU X (lots of hugs & virtual wine/brie/icecream/sandria/mojitos your way)

Sorry not to name check everyone else, especially as there r lots of posts.

Finally I wanted to let everyone know my body didn't let me down & my AF has arrived... its a bit more painful than it used to b. But at least I now know When we might b able to ttc again. ... I never thought I'd b happy to see my period.

I am bit hormonal today, am so happy to have u guys here. It's such a tower of wonderful support x thanks x

I'm off to cry into my 3rd cup of coffee of the day x

Hey fellow hormonal one, Pixie. Congratulations on the 'BAF' (I haven't seen that on here so if I have made that up I feel rather proud of my hormonally addled brain...) :)

I never thought I would be envious of anyone else's period...I just had a weird cry, left the gym and just needed to lie down for a while. DH brought me a coffee and a piece of cheese and I feel ok again. But there are definitely weird feelings in my nether regions. Actually it feels like I might have a period. I am dizzy, hungry, tired, feel like my face looks like shite and I have some odd aches in the womb area and lower back. AND there is a bit of what might be newer blood mixed in with the old stuff.

How are you feeling Pix? Mind me asking, is it a proper period? Does it feel like it did before? I think this might actually be my first af post mc, so it has been since 26th Dec when I last had one.

Actually, just looking through my 'period diary' and it looks like this:

March 18th/19th - Started bleeding with MC.
April 20th - was still having brown stuff but there was a bit of red mixed in
May 13th/14th-started having brown and now there's a bit of red too.

Er... I guess I am noticing a pattern!

Thanks for the big post BLL. You talk a lot of sense.

Sorry this is a bit me, me, me and not very Ibiza...

You know what I really feel like now, I feel like I am moving on from Ibiza and need a Spa day. Maybe we should start a Post MC Chill Out Luxury Spa Retreat if we have ticked the hell out of that hedonism box for the moment.

Hi girls! So, had a fantastic break in Barcelona. Weather was similar to here, but the change of scenery did us good! You lot have been very busy! You've moved home, had a very quick skim read. Apologies to all: CONGRATULATIONS Reallyusefulengine! FX that this one is an uneventful eight months! xxxx Fantastic news to come home to.
Will try and keep up with you guys from hereonin! One question to the resident exper: Freelance! My period has still not arrived! Should I be worried or concerned? Ovulated a few days after ERPC (15th April), ovulated on 24th, definitely not pregnant as didn't dtd without condom: wheres my period? Been googling like mad. I know I ovulated as had all the signs and opk confirmed it. I know patience is a virtue, guess I'm no saint!
Nice to be back girls! Feel all rested!

Expert: freelance! Normal cycle: 28 days ( like clockwork) - will I ever get that back? And when? Am getting quite impatient now and working myself up into a frenzy. Where is that Bacardi? I'll be back shortly!

No, don't go on a spa day, let meounge a little here: I've only just arrived in my designer bikinis bought in Barca!