How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

CC My thoughts (and slip ups!) are mirroring yours exactly. We had a few slip ups last week and I spend half my time thinking it would be amazing to get pregnant again, immediately, and the other half having doubts and wondering if perhaps it would be a terrible idea, and I would have no idea about dates and it would go wrong again and I would be in floods of tears and heartbroken again,blah, blah, blah.

Freelance Apart from the ladies on this thread and IC's gyne (erm, will she be sending us an invoice?) I feel like nobody has a clue when it comes to answers.

Calling all Ex Nazi nuns I have my acupuncturist appt tomorrow. She is a fertility acupuncturist and is very well informed. Can I ask her anything on your behalf? She is lovely.

Sorry to be a pain freelance and BIG, but can you explain the whole antibody thing to me? I don't think I understand it properly and it would be helpful to know.

I have decided to avoid anyone possibly asking me if I am planning anymore children by wearing obscene amounts of make up and my new high heel clogs when I am out and about. Am not entirely sure how this theory works but I can only give it a go

BLL I am a SAHM too and I absolutely agree. Exactly like working. You have wonderful days and bad days and some days which are plain boring. You do however get to write your own appraisals. I also wanted to say that it was touching that you and your DH planted a tree to remember your pg by. So lovely, did it help you to come to terms with it too? I listened to the same song on my ipod to and from my doctor's appts and have mentally dedicated it to this big little sadness of mine.

Big I hope you have a great break in Lanzarote. Sounds like you'll have a lovely time. I actually have my m/c in Tenerife (yes, terrible, terrible timing, we had had it booked and it seemed even more appalling to cancel it). The weather was lovely although I didn't get to see much of anything apart from the bathroom . It was an incredibly nice bathroom though.

I just thought I would have one quick look before I started work and now I have someone to reply to :) (Note to self to get a life/get to work before I can't pay the mortgage). I think I would be tempted to 'slip up' if I wasn't worried about the antibodies. Yes maybe IC's friend can tell me about them too...?

As a key player in the Ex Nazi Nuns Movement (with or without obscene make-up and high heel clogs) I can say that ENN's are very interested in acupuncture. I was thinking of looking one up myself. Tell us how it goes. Yes I am sure we have lots of questions about starting again, getting AF, ovulation (I know nothing about this having not really charted anything before) and those damned thyroid antibodies.

Which - as you ask - mean you have an autoimmune disease that basically attacks anything it sees as a foreign object inside your body including, as you might have guessed, a foetus. I knew about mine already (hasimoto's thyroiditis - underactive thyroid with raised antibodies) but did not know to the extent the antibodies mattered re mc. I always thought it would be hard to get pg but my thyroid levels are controlled by drugs so that part was ok. It's the damn antibodies that make you 50% MORE likely to have a mc. Bugger.

BUT on the flip side people do go on to have kids with autoimmune problems. You just have to be lucky. My fear is I will get pg and either a) will have a mc again or b) WON'T have one but the baby will be attacked and damaged and therefore significantly disabled. I can't find any info on that latter point, just that they can cause mc. I would like to have someone to ask about that latter point so if anyone has any clues do let me know! That's what might put me off ttc after af until get a referral. But am also conscious of age, impatience, not wanting to put it off in case it takes ages etc etc.

Really what song was it - do you mind sharing? It will probably make me cry listening to it too. Unless it's say, ACDC and you just happened to listen to it at the time...Can't believe you had your mc on holiday! Must have made it even more strange.

How bloody awful Really a bit of a no win situation that one i spose. Not sure where we're going yet, anywhere warm with a bar really, very open to suggestions. The whole anti body thing is a thing I don't really understand either to be honest, the ones I have I aquired are called anti c and from what i understand if i was carrying a baby with this particular blood type it could cause a problem, however not till much further on in the pregnancy. My doubts have come about as following my youngest daughters birth I had another transfusion, and i'm now worrying that I've collected something new thats causing my miscarriages.....could be absolute gibberish, but not sure who to ask. I have an appointment with a specialist but not till July, which seems yonks away. Please let us all know how you get on tomorrow, i've never had acupuncture, but would deifinitely like to give it a go.
Love to all x

crossed posts there, you seem much more clued up about antibodies than me Freelance I've been told, but being a bit thick, I never really understood, with what I've got it just means that they check em every four weeks so far through pregnancy then for the third trimester they check em once a week. Having said all that, I've had two succesful pregnancies whilst I've had them, so probably not the same as yours at all

Freelance Okay, I have a sober brain today and understand now. Yes, I can see why you want to see a consultant. Even if it is just to put your mind at rest, since you are having to research this on the net and presumably you haven't got a medical degree! Are there any relevant books on Amazon? My mum has an underactive thyroid and I know it is actually quite hard to get info on that matter, let alone the antibodies. I think she contacted the British thyroid Foundation at some point recently and I remember someone telling me that there is an amazing endicronologist (sp?, clearly wrong) called Dr Michael Besser. Supposed to be great and based in London.

I will ask my acupuncturist too. Some fertility things seems to be water of a ducks back in chinese medicine but are seemingly insurmountable in conventional medicine.

ACDC . The song was Spanish Harlem by Aretha Franklin. It found me on the ipod on the way to the first appt before I knew anything was definately wrong (I have to have early scans because of the previous ectopic) and then I would automatically find it over the next few weeks whenever I was off to my next appt. Am trying to resolutely listen to bo'tox these days so I don't weep my way through Richmond.

Darn, had to run off for half an hour whilst writing this so hope I haven't lost you to the throes of work and mortgage paying

I think it is very positive to know you have raised antibodies Big and have still had two successful pregnancies. I THINK - again only my research internet research and ordered a few relevant books - that the antibodies only cause problems 50% of the time. They do not necessarily always result in mc. BUT they can cause mc the other 50% of the time so that might well be what went on with both of us.

Have you had yours checked recently? Might be worth doing. I have forgotten what stage you were at with that.

LOL! You did lose me to the joys of work and mortgage paying Really, but whilst am on hold to the bank am having a quick fix and crossed posts with you.

Spanish Harlem - ahh, I can see why that would get you going. It brought a tear to my eye just thinking about it.

Sadly no medical degree but I can tell you all about the impressionist movement and how structuralist theory affected 20th century design discourse... Actually I probably can't being that that was 13 or so years ago and I have forgotten most of it. But I do still like a pretty painting.

Yeah, thyroid is a minefield of non-information. Luckily I have become what they call an 'informed patient' meaning I am probably really irritating to treat and I tend to know more than your average gp about thyroid testing and 'normal' levels. I did buy what is meant to be a great book with a lot of new research on the subject:

www.amazon.com/Still-Thyroid-Symptoms-Tests-Normal/dp/1600376703

But I think I would need that medical degree to understand it all. I am trying to make sense of it with a bit of light night-time reading but there are a lot of equations and, well, complicated stuff. Too much for my tiny, distracted, post-mc brain it feels sometimes. I might look up that doc your mum saw too but hopefully I am being referred to the right people. Just would like it to happen quickly!

OOh - exciting news. Just called my docs receptionist to see if the referrals have been sent (they hadn't the previous week, system was down rather annoyingly) and they were both apparently sent on the 5th April. Just got to see how long they take to come through now but it is a VERY good step) :) :)

Sorry if that is boring and irrelevant to most people. But ooh, it's lovely to be able to 'talk' to people about this and know they might have half an interest.

Big I think we should all come with you to Lanzarote. We can sunbathe in our habits . Do you think Immaculada can bring her gynae friend so we can quiz her.

Immaculada I am so sorry to ask you this but how's your spanish? When we were in hols there was a children's song they sang in the hotel and DS is in love with it, have tried to do a lyric search online to no avail. Can I possibly relay it to you? Everyone else - stop laughing!

Am fluent Spanish so I won't laugh. Well, maybe only at your interpretation...

Freelance Fantastic news on the referrals and no, absolutely not boring or irrelevant. I just hope the appts don't clash with our trip to Lanzarote .

Oh I do love a pretty painting also. Did you do history of art? You lucky girl.

Talking of books, I read this a few years ago and then lent it to a friend but it was amazing and full of good stuff.

www.amazon.co.uk/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Reproductive/dp/0091887585/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1302522168&sr=1-1

Not too medical but not at all condescending. I found it incredibly useful and informative as an overall guide.

Waiting to hear if Immaculada has agreed to my strange request

Immaculada

I love you. Okay, bear with me. I failed my French gcse which gives you an indication of my language skills.

[blush

Oh dear god, this is like the French Aural all over again.

I will do it phonetically. It is a mixture of Spanish and English.

Coo Chee Ra, Coo chee ra, coo chee ra ra ra
Shoulders back!
Head forward!
Tongue out!
Coo Chee Ra, Coo chee ra, Coo Chee ra ra ra

There are a couple more verses in a similar vein. And there's a funny dance that goes with it

I need some .

hahhaaaaaaa Really my kids luuurved that song on a french campsite last summer too!!! I may even have a pic of em with their tongues out doing it. They did loads of great songs that we don't know and like you can't find

oh and of course you're all very welcome on my Nazi nuns tour of Lanzagrotty

What our Ex-Nazi Nuns Post Mc Support Group group trip to Lanzarote? I can't wait! We are going to look like the cutest hen party ever with our black and white habits and crossed out swastikas singing Spanish nursery rhymes as we knock back copious amounts of booze and dance on the bar. Actually, joking aside, I could really do that right now :) If I had a load of cash I would PM you all and tell you to meet me at the airport. We'd have to bring nannies of course for those of you with sprogs but we would make sure they stay relatively sober (nannies and kids - see am a natural born mother!).

Yes to degree, did History of Design. Really interesting but not much use in the real world. Great for dinner party conversations!

Am so tempted to click and buy that book as it looks really good too. But I am already waiting delivery of Lesley Regan's Miscarriage one, Dr Beer's Is Your Body Baby Friendly and a specialist thyroid one as well as the medical tome I have sitting on my bedside table so I think I WILL actually be medically qualified after I get through this lot I already have. Annoyingly the three ones I am waiting for apparently aren't going to get delivered until after the 20th.

But I feel very chuffed that my referrals have been made. Am going to give it a day or so and then call up both hospitals to see if they a) have a record of me and b) how long their waiting lists are.

I don't know about IC but I for one am waiting with baited breath for the Spanish nursery rhyme :) Aghh - just refreshed and got it!! No, I don't know that one. Am afraid you are going to actually have to sing the melody and record it onto a link and post it so we can experience it in its full glory. Although Big seems to be able to concur it's existence in RL :)

just tried to post a pic of one of my daughters doing the actions for it, but it won't let me do it..... bugger
Dunno if this is helpful or not, you can tell me.
After my first miscarriage over Christmas and into January 2010, i took absolutely months to get over it. I can pinpoint exactly when i started to feel human again, it was September, I joined the gym (not sure if the two are connected) and suddenly seemed to feel about 1000 times more positive about life...This was I have to add short lived as I was pregnant again by the end of the month and misscarried by the end of November.....however i pulled my self together fairly quickly that time....Not helped by the fact that by January i was (you guessed it) pregnant again, and of course we all know how this story ends. What I'm getting at is I seem to have got much better at compartmentalising my pain, I also feel I have learned not to become so "connected" to my pregnancies........i think. Sorry for that ramble, just felt the need to share
As you were

One other thing before i shut the f**k up.
Something that helps me with the whole pregnant ladies and baby avoidance carry on is to remember that I want "my" baby, not "their" baby, and them having a baby won't make any difference at all to me having one, there isn't a finite number and they've just nicked the last one.....Sorry.....again.
Is it too early for ?

I was wondering about that ability to learn to 'disconnect' with the pregnancies actually Big as I have read a lot of posts by people online (here and elsewhere) who seem a lot more matter of fact about their pgs than others. I think it is because you go through the grieving and then you know you just really have to get on with it. Also, after one and then another the choice is to either become more pragmatic about it or descend into horrible despair. So many of us would consciously or subconsciously choose the former. That whole "my" baby, not "their" baby thing rings true to me too.

Oh and please don't shut up as that will mean I have to and I want to carry on :)

It's not too early for thinking about certainly. OH, you know I said I was off the alcohol until at least thursday? My best friend who for various reasons relating to distance, work, her working full time and having a one year old, I haven't seen since the mc has just called and said she is taking me out to dinner tonight. ahead me thinks !

PS sorry for all the bold bits in my last post - unintentional as I am sure it obvious :)

PS sorry for over use of smileys and exclamation marks today (as a prof writer, one of my pet hates). I think I am just chuffed to know my referrals have been made and enjoying feeling positive until something comes up and bites me in the arse and triggers another negative feeling...

Ooh thanks for that freelance glad you get where I'm coming from, and you're quite right, you certainly have to adopt a "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" approach to life. The other thing is, if you want to carry on and try again, and you want your partner to agree to it...you kind of have to recover, as otherwise they may well decide that the whole process is just too stressful and pull the shutters down (metaphorically speaking)...just a thought, not sure if thats a conscious or subconscious one to be honest. I also feel a certain responsibility to the one friend who knows whats going on, and thinks I'm a complete mentalist....Can't have her being proved right now can I?

oh and don't get me wrong, I was absolutely devastated on all three occasions, I just seem to have got better at speeding up the grieving process, and learnt how to cope day to day I spose. Where as as I say, the first time it took me seven months to get a handle on it....Good for you by the way, on your referral, and the lovely evening out you have planned....enjoy!

Blimey, I only popped out for an hour.

Big I want to see the photo! So funny that they sing it in France too, clearly they're all living the dream on the continent. I imagine that's why IC has gone quiet; she's dancing in circles on the veranda doing thumbs up, shoulders back, tongue out etc. Freelance You must learn the song so you can sing it tonight

Big On a serious note, thank you for sharing. It's awful that you have gone through this more than once but your advice and experiences means alot. Alot of it rung true for me too. And, to be honest I do wonder how I would deal with it, if it did happen again. It was so gruelling and it's only now that I am starting to feel part of the real world and get back into a routine again.

Freelance The exclamation mark appears to be my best friend these days. I worry that I'll start handwriting it with a circle for the dot soon. And, heavens, that sounds like the coolest degree in the world.

So am the only one off the wine tonight?

I think we should start peppering all our written correspondence (letters to the bank, emails to colleagues and of course the all important mn updates) with exclamation marks that not only have circles but the circles also double as smilies. That way we can kill two birds with one stone. And also add a few for good measure :0 :)

And yes, it was a pretty good degree. Well, interesting, and I think that really helps. I tried a business degree before that and almost slit my wrists :) (Another smile, woo!!).

Yes Big, thanks for sharing. I completely understand the kind of shutting off but not shutting off thing. You know it's devastated and you are devastated but you cannot spend your life devastated as otherwise you will never get back in the saddle, so to speak, again.

My Worry of the Afternoon is: here I am spending so much time worrying about ttcing again as I might get pg very soon and than have problems, BUT what if the think that bites me on the arse first is this time I (we?) find it very difficult to get pg again.

Freelance I like that suggestion, I am going to redraft my will straightaway with all sorts of exclamation marks and smilies.

Worry of the afternoon: I worry about this too, alot. I am putting all my eggs in one basket, as it were. I am hoping to get pregnant again, quickly. I don't even want to think how I'll feel if that doesn't happen at anytime soon. Anyway, I intend as of the arrival of AF to do every single possible thing to help it all along. Which I imagine will be so time consuming that I'll barely have time to have sex .

This is indeed time consuming - how on earth will we fit sex in (wishing for an exclamation mark with circular smilie face emoticon)?

Second worry of the afternoon (although this was worry of the morning and yesterday too): Just called Dr Shehata's clinic and they haven't received my referral and and also the wait for an appt is over 10 weeks. Should I try or should I wait? Oh well, no bloody AF yet anyway. Hmmm. What did I do in my life before there was an mc, ttc, af, nk cells and anything else with a made up acronym to worry about? Must have been so damn boring....

hahhaaaaaaa very good really I'm pleased to hear that I'm not a looney....well if i am, you are too...here it comes are you ready? The whole issue of will it happen again, is completely unaswerable, it took me 8 months to get pregnant with my youngest, then eight months for both first and second misscarriages, but then this last time I only had one period, so completely caught me off guard. Best advice I had was to try...emphasis on try to take a chill pill, and go with the flow maaannnnnnnn. By the way, still can't load this photo up, don't know what I' doing wrong, has anyone else had any success with uploading pics to their profile?