WEST LONDON MEET-UP THREAD - MAY 2007 (Part 1) - Acton to Sunbury everybody welcome

[mellow2]

New thread for May.

Paddle, just before I went on mat leave I wrote a case for upgrading my job too.

Bloody boss has forgotten to action it so am still chasing.

I have done it twice in the past and got pay rises both times as a result.

If you don't ask, you don't get etc...

Paddle have you thought about writing him a note saying that you have spent some time thinking about what he said and that you beleive that the stres is currently being "caused" by the way youare being managed and the fact that you have for 3.5 yrs been paid on a lower scale than your role merits. Say that you have tried not to let this impact on the way you work but that inevitably it has resulted inyou feeling that your work is obviously not as valued as other colleagues. You realise after your talk wiht him that this cannot continue and therefore will be putting in a formal request for your salary to reflect your job role.

If he knows anything about the responsibilities of a company re stress in the work place loud warning bells should go off and he should take notice. It also implies that you have taken your little spat constuctively IYSWIM.

morning all
poor paddle.... i agree with sue's suggestions. i think that no matter what the letter should start saying you have spent time thinking about what he said. then i would put a paragraph on why you like the job - be positive. then what you can bring to the business - be positive. then another one explaining why you cant (project manager bits, and lower pay making you feel not a valued member of the team). finally, that you feel loyal to your team and company for the reasons that you know without being sentimental; and that you can do your job and want to keep it . i'd say get your boss on your side and be positive about yourself, the job, the company and all the things you are managing. you are a great woman paddle and i truly admire you for the way in which you cope with your lot. not many people could manage the way you do and your dd is the proof of the pudding (i love that british expression - am i using it right?). chin up babe; show him what you are made of.
if it helps i am happy to have a quick look at your email if you want to send it to me at work . go for it Sister

good advice, i should take it i know.

but i am feeling very obstreporous (sp?) and not prepared to cow down to the wanker just yet.

will try to do the justification document and when i send it to him will wrap some words around it along the lines of what you are saying.

thanks

btw, he was very careful not to call any personal issues into the discussion. and if he doesn't then i can't really. i did point out that i could've taken long term sick under the circumstances and that was when he made the comment about stress.

i have also told him i am completely unmotivated by the lack of bonus 2 years running. the fact that he told me last year it was because "it's difficult to give someone who's not here a bonus" should've been immediate justification for me to go to the Union. I was on mat leave for 3 months at the end of the year in question ffs.

so far this year i haven't been given any reason for the lack of bonus. my annual review result should have equalled an automatic bonus without question. because our management structure has changed it wasn't this guy in charge at that point.

have long have you worked there? what do you like about the job? why did you take the job in the first place? what do you want from your ideal job? maybe you should write a list and then analyse the answers? one thing is for sure; women get penalised for being women, then women get penalised for being pregnant then mothers get penalised for being mothers... bloody unfair... sorry this doesn't help much but you got me going now

Paddle it isn't about cowing to him, its about outsmarting him. Don't turn it into an angry rant that he can dismiss as a hormonal woman (not that I think you will) - you have to out-think him. Sad to say I have rogressed in many companies by being machiavellian and there are ways of phrasing these things tat make clear you are NOT saying that he is right ie saying you have given careful consideration to what he said does NOT say you agree with him. It's not about being a simpering girlie and pleading for more money by buttering him up, its about being absolutely coldly logical and using what he said to your advantage.

God I sound like a hard nosed bitch don't I? I'm really quite fluffy these days...

would you consider going to the union now, just asking them to read your email before you send it?

thanks sue, good points. i think if i can get this document knocked out it will restore some of my self confidence and make it easier to come back to him in the tone you're advising.

a friend at work has suggested the union too but i think it's a little early for that maybe. if i get knocked back then i will consider it.

you're very fluffy!

"it's difficult to give someone who's not here a bonus"

If that is a reference to maternity leave and you can prove he said it, you could sail through court on sexual discrimination charges.

If someone said that to me I would demand a bonus or see them in court.

(of course I take the word's shortest maternity leaves so no one is likely to ever say that to me)

and I got paid a bonus whilst I was on adoption leave (admittedly not much but then no-one got much). It's not THAT difficult, they're got your bank details haven't they!! I do think it may be worth mentioning the issue of no bonus because you were off on maternity leave. Not making a big deal pof it (yet), just perhaps saying you hadn't realised until he said it that you didn't recieve a bonus because you were on maternity leave when they paid them and that didn't seem the best way to motivate women to return to work with a positive attitude towards the company (and that they should perhaps reconsider their position)

interesting comments Sue! i do regret to have opened my big fat mouth in a few occasions in the past as it has played against me . and i was a fighter for justice!!!... in a lot of cases, it is not even a matter of being right or wrong in the end but how the issue is being handled...

sue... when are you turning into a Kewcumber then?! love the name!

Sue - would like to take some lessons from you in how to be machiavellian at work

PC - I've just been paid my bonus despite being on maternity leave.If it relates to when you were there and met your targets, you should get it. Deffo refer to the lack bonus's and the comment about you not being there - you were there for 9 out of the 12 months, so were entitled.

No wonder you feel peeved if you didn't get a bonus for 2 years!

I had to write to my Co last month as they didn't pay my bonus and they've promised to pay it now.

Do the men there who do jobs of similar responsibility get paid more than you?

The Equal Opps Commission has loads of stauff on its website about equal pay and being paid bonuses if you take maternity leave.

Send me your draft as well if you like and I could send you my one (which hasn't been agreed yet...)

Good luck

ps wanted to say that we might be able to give each other ideas, as mine is still outstanding and I'm having to chase it

lurking lemonaid can take creidt for the name, I think I will change on Friday maybe. Finding it hard to separate from suejonez! I've recommended mumsnet to a few people and decided I wanted to be a little less readily identifiable.

Foxie - sorry didn't mean to ignore you. Its dh-free but I might have AP with us (who is wonderful by the way). So she can take the older kids off to play whilst we can have some time with the babies. How about Weds/Thurs? I'll sort out some directions and bring them along to Quokka's leaving do.

Oi, MrsR, are we still on for tonight?

MrsR - that sounds brill. I'll tell DH we are going away for a couple of days haha Is it in Kent?

Anyway - look forward to seeing you on 25th if not before

Definitely ele - might be able to get there around 7.15 - have you booked a table?

That's great Foxie - its on the Kent/East Sussex Borders. If ds1/dd want to get excited here's some park information here

No, didn't think we'd need to book. I can make 7:15 too. See you then.

Oh, I lost my mobile phone. So don't bother calling it. Should have new one for tomorrow, but not tonight. Actually I have a replacement phone, but silly vodafone forgot to send me the sim card.

MrsR - it looks fabby. Its me whose getting excited!

hi all

sue..that was my grandmother

paddle - bummer. but you should have got bonus as entitled to exactly same rights while you're on maternity leave. and, yes, the cool-headed approach is always best..and, if that fails, a swift kick in the bollocks is particularly satisfying...

foxie - are you wearing your new bag with girlie pride?
toodlepip

No, I don't want to get it dirty (my bag that is...) likewise I haven't used my Phil and Teds buggy in case the wheels get dirty!

Also paddle, I think if you get a raise while you are on maternity leave that raise has to be taken into account when they work out your 90% for the six weeks of mat pay. My payroll depaartment didn't know this, so I informed them. :-)

Also, paddle, what kind of sat nav thingy do you have? Do you like it? What did it cost?