The Brand New WEST LONDON MEET-UP THREAD - EALING, ACTON, CHISWICK, KEW, RICHMOND, ISLEWORTH, KINGSTON ETC.

[MrsBigD]

As Nanou01 has declared me group leader here's a new thread to try and arrange our next meet-up

Oldies and newbies equally welcome :)

I'm pretty free for the rest of May, bar some dentist appointments

June is very barren so any entry in my social calendar would be most welcome.

Meet without the kids any evening
Meet with the kids only weekends

When and where would whoever like to meet?

No offense intended, of course, to anyone's personal political sensibilities (or employers or clients).

Uwila, your upcoming possible-trip reminds me of the Dilbert cartoons that involve "Elbonia".

Gonna hijack again...

The Glucose test came back fine, he just a whopper! Have had a thing for cucumber but then i end up belching like a man....
Finish work next week and really can't wait. Dh had to drive us all in today as i can't fit behind the wheel so he will be glad to get rid of me for a while.

As for High St, just about manage the Manor! Waddling like a proper preggie!
Once i've given up work and have a bit more energy will have to meet up.....! Missing out on all the other meet ups, have to try and at least grab a coffee (decaf, no sugar, no taste)...

Hijack over.

Hi SnowBoo! No worries from me about "hijacking". Glad to hear your hulking baby is doing so well! I can totally relate to the waddling. My ds was 2 weeks "early" but 8.5 lbs and was clearly all done by that point. As was I! I took off work 2 weeks before my due date (thinking ahead! leave myself some time to tidy up loose ends and get ds's room ready! smart me! ), so naturally I went into labor 36 hrs after my last day at work....

And what is it about cucumbers, anyway?? I like them, too, and I'm familiar with the burpiness thing, but haven't decided whether they actually make me burp a lot, or if it's just more noticeable because the burps taste like cucumber.

Apologizing in advance for my own hijack (and also to explain my random absences from mumsnet posting)

Hey y'all -- I just got off the phone with my sister a litle while ago and was told that our mom is back in the hospital again for the 3rd time in 3 weeks. (our mom lives in the same town where my house is (Raleigh, NC) and my sister lives in our home town of Baltimore, MD, which is about 300 miles/6 hr drive away)
Unfortunately it isn't because our mom is "ill" in the usual sense of the word, or the way you expect old ladies (but only mid-60s in this case) to be. She just likes (and always has, unfortunately) taking pills and getting high (alcohol being acceptable when nothing better is available), and apparently is becoming increasingly less interested in spending any time sober (especially since her 18 yr-old cat just died). Which results (on my part) in a very weird combination of feeling sorry for her and feeling responsible for cleaning up her messes and needing to deal with her issues, while at the same time exasperated at her continuous lifestyle of a tearaway teenager (especially since my sister and I both now have small children of our own to take care of). Unlike some grannies, instead of enjoying the opportunity to spend time with her grandsons, she's requiring me, and my sister, to find someone to care for her grandchildren while we deal with her. It didn't occur to me before, but it now seems to me that maybe she's jealous of the fact that we now have other people to focus on besides her.

Anyway, it may mean that I need to go there soon to deal with crisis-issues about her dwelling(horribly unsanitary, of course, not that I've been able to do anything about it from here) and purging and packing and moving her stuff to wherever she's actually going to be able to live. Because her landlord will not allow her to continue much longer where she is unless she (a) cleans the place up and keeps it that way (unlikely, in my opinion) and (b) stops bothering the neighbors with yelling, naked, on the front porch, and visits from paramedics and ambulances.

So I may need to be out of town for a while soon. We already had a trip planned, but her issues will either hijack how we spend our time there, and/or require me to go there sooner, or again, to clean up the mess(es). Just don't know when exactly those will be.

Sorry for venting, but I hope you all understand somewhat if I mysteriously drop out sometimes. I'll try and let you know when I need to be out of town.

Okay, end hijack!

Blimey, that sounds crazy. I think I'd stay away. Can't your sis deal with it whilst you live across the water? On the other hand, I could use a few more sippy cups... Just kidding. Love the ones I have.

Snowboo/Yanks hijack away... it technically isn'ta hijack anyway as I see this thread as our Ealing discussion board

Snowboo, do you leave the skin on the cucumber? I find it makes me burp something chronic

Yanks, sorry to hear you're having such a rough time re your mother. Hope you get it all sorted and feel free to vent anytime

Crikey, Yanks - I thought my mum was difficult when she was having her cchemo but yours sounds like a nightmare. I have some experience of dealing with alcoholic members of the family though thankfully not my mum. Sadly her mum was an alcoholic and deteriorated similarly when my grandather died (parallels with the cat I suppose!), though without the naked shouting. I don't think she was jealous of her childrens families per se but I think she felt that we were self sufficient and no-one needed her. Have you tried calling Al-anon (for families of alcoholics) they can be very helpful. Tel: 020 7403 0888

Would she clean up her act a bit for a new kitten? Perhaps that would help. As I said on a similar thread today, I'm afraid alcoholics have a way of dragging everyone else down with them if you're not careful.

Is there anyone you can get to keep an eye on her locally? I don't know the set up in the States, but how about an organisation like the Salvation Army.

Yes, the skin of the cucumber is where the "burpy" thing resides. Whatever that's about. At least according to the garden/seed catalogues that I used to get when I lived in a house with a garden and actually grew plants. Often I can't be bothered to scrape the skin off (especially since I stupidly forgot to bring my favorite vegetable peeling/carrot-skinning tool over here with me from my house, and have been too cheap/forgetful to get one here), but supposedly cucumbers are less "burpy" when the skin's peeled off. But it's also (like a lot of fruits/vegs) where a lot of the flavor
(and colon-healthy roughage ) is.

Hell, yes, it's crazy and hell, yes, it's a nightmare. But nothing that I'm surprised by. Unfortunately I've been painfully aware for a while now that this was a possible/likely outcome. While she still had a job, something to schedule her life around (and that includes her (reasonably decent) care of me & my sister when we were little), she didn't get into this sort of trouble. It seems like, in the absence of anything to manage in a scheduled way, she just totally freewheels into staying stoned as much of the time as possible. I should point out that CAT & MRI scans etc. have revealed no evidence of actual neurological damage from Alzheimer's, stroke, etc. Just opiates and benzodiazopines in the bloodstream.

Ah Yanks, how awful for you. Why is it some parents are more like kids than our kids??
My dad can be a handful sometimes, forgetting things and such but his is due to an accident 10 years ago so i shall forgive him.
The sound of a kitten (or something needing care) sounds like a good idea, my aunt gets like this when she feels unloved and abandoned. It's not fair to you and your sister to have to pick up the pieces time after time. Will she not go into a sheltered housing type of place? At least they have people to watch over them.

As for cucumber, yep, skin MUST be left on and has to be cold and crunchy. Can't believe how much one person can eat in a day. The weirdest thing is normally if there are sweets in the house i can't leave alone but at the moment we are having to stock up on cucumber! And ice. Dh bought a big bag from the petrol station and i have a glass every night before bed. Wonder if i'll ever be sane again!!!!

Thanks for the ideas, SueJ. You're right, those are exactly the directions we're going. Thanks also for the UK Al-Alon phone #; they do have helpful ideas, though I also need to contact more local US chapters for info about assistance programs, council support, etc. Right now, the idea is to help our mom get her flat sorted out and cleaned up and get her moved (with her remaining cat -- she's not totally without someone to take care of even now, though she's pretty much blowing off that responsibility these days while stoned and/or in the hospital) up to the Baltimore area. Which is closer to my sister and also an area with more medical and state-support options (and also closer to where our mom grew up, in the Washington area), though housing is a bit more expensive than Raleigh (but not as expensive as London, I might add ). (I should point out here that even though the US doesn't have a universal National health care program, there IS one for pensioners ("Medicare", which my mom has), and for handicapped/disabled people ("Medicaid"), and for everbody else there are a lot of different state/city/council state-funded programs that provide assistance. It's just a matter of wading through the paperwork. Which you have to do no matter where you are...
(though there's a bit less here, I must say.)

Just a random thought, a social worker once told me that the commonest sign of depression in people living alone (after good old fashioned tiredness) is letting their environment deteriorate. Not suggesting that you offer her antidepressants (may not be appropriate!).

Yes, I'm aware of that. She's always lived in a "deteriorated" environment, though. Our/her house was already a pigpen when I was still in school 30 years ago (and, fortunately for my friends/mate/child, I have always chosen to live otherwise), and it was a pigpen over the past couple decades while she was busily & gainfully employed, and only got very much worse in a very gradual and insidious way. There have been no sudden shifts or changes at any point; just a gradual and inexorable progression along the same lines they've always been.

Yanks, reading all this I shall never ever again complain about my mother! I so feel for you. It must be so frustrating at time. Hope you find a local chapter that can help, even if it's just for your peace of mind

SO WHO'S OK FOR 27 JULY 2006?

VENUE IN KEW?

I'm Ok for 27th - but thought we'd agreed on Pizza rustica in Richmond - or did that convo move on and I missed it...?

Hello, can I come to this one?

rabbitrabbit of course you can

SJ you are correct! Pizza in Richmond... it was me who get confused

Here's the address for everybody

Pizzeria Rustica (Italian)
32 The Quadrant, Richmond, TW9
Tel: 0208 332 6262

I'm happy to coordinate again ;)

Yanks so sorry to hear about your Mum. Never again will I moan about my Mum turning up with a mini skirt and a leopard print see through blouse just after I'd spent 48 hours in labour. I do hope you manage to sort things out when you go back. It must be awful for you being so far away but a blessing at the same time. My friend who helped Uwila that Sunday has problems with her mil, and it stems from her living alone. I might see if she wants to come along on the 27th and you can compare notes.

So I'm definitely up for the 27th - don't mind where. RabbitRabbit course you can - no need to ask we all jump in!

Thanks everyone! Looking forward to it.

MrsR at mini-skirt and leopard skin blouse... though after 48h of labour I probably wouldn't have noticed

Yes I did think the gas and air had got to me!