Style would it be a mumsnet first for us to storm the other thread - to the tune of The Lunatics are Taking Over the Asylum of course.
I don't have the energy to reply and thank everyone individually for the good wishes, offers of help, food deliveries, offers to storm the GP surgery and ideas for dinner. It's awesome, you lot are awesome what the hell will we do when bootcamp finishes.
There were lots of comical moments today, there always are when I arrive on any ward, HDU view me as a set of dodgy lungs attached to a body - what they're not used to is dealing with a body as broken as mine and definitely not one that comes with so many bloody attachments, no nurse can ever get there head around the fact that I put my own indwelling catheter in at night and when I'm not well enough to do it DH or my PA will do it. So where I go there is a lot of kit that goes too, especially if I'm expecting to stay the night.
You are only allowed one small bag of toiletries in HDU and of course any special equipment that you need, it all fits into one case but that case is the size of a single bed.
The nurse that met me to do my admission today started by telling me I wouldn't be needing the case, so I asked her if she would take out my medical equipment and special dietary supplements, poor girl she pulls out day splints for legs, walking splints, night splints, resting arm splint, grip splint, function splint, night arm splint, bandage to go in night splint, catheters lots of catheters, night bags, indwelling catheters, pump for irrigation system, irrigation system, rectal catheters, barrier creams to prevent pressure sores, ventilator, eye drops, medication, more medication, cuddly toy, iPad, chargers and pork scratchings lots and lots of pork scratchings. I'm sure she was looking around for hidden cameras thinking she was being set up at one point.
The really funny bits were all about ketones, I wish I'd written them all down some of the best were:
Your body produces ketones when your internal organs begin to shut down - it's taking a long time to shut down because it's been six weeks already and I'm still here.
Ketones are a sign that you are overwhelmed with infection - um no they are not
You've got a UTI because you've put yourself into ketosis - no I've got a UTI because my bladder doesn't work.
If you're in ketosis for more than a few hours you will fit - WTF
Ketosis puts a strain on your heart - WTAF
the staff are fantastic, don't get me wrong but they work within such narrow specialisms that when someone comes along that crosses over loads of them it doesn't work at all and you have to be really proactive in your own care.