Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone? Part 21

[Monty100]

Did anyone beat me to it??

That would be my cervix being discussed heh

Right I am now in bed and going to pass out as I still feel rough as a badgers arse. Night all

Lou - NN get better soon.

asbm I know I was like you but sorted out password etc cos friend is trying to promote her website
have had a reckless couple of evenings dredging up the best forgotten past
I'd leave it be if I were you. I wish I had, but there is no closing the box ...

belle i had this with dp at the beginning and i just couldn't take it all in tbh as hey asbm dates/marries tossers and he also did/said alot of similar things to what i've experienced/heard before,so i held back and yes i prob did lead him a merry old dance for a while..but it wasn't until i had actually met his closest friends and folks that i realised that yep this bloke was for real.i'm sure that lou did the same thing.
btw lou hope you're ok tonight and getting lots of r 'n' r

ninah you haven't been seeking out exs have you?

no, more drinking cronies from my single girl about town days ...
did check out dc dad and tho nothing unexpected it did leave me feeling grubby

monty-your ex will realise his loss when he is old and lonely, as my dad seems to do now It just doesnt wash after years of knowing they didnt give a toss, sad but in my case as will be your dd's I have my mum an she has always been there

ninah-slow down lol bf woul be enough for now

pmg-sorry think i got u mixed up with pc earlier, hope your ok and a few glasses of wine helped...for now anyway

clara-always nice to have friends

belle-sounds like you'll be joining me on the marital sofa soon....omg did I just say that lol know what you mean about thinking there must be a catch somewhere tho!

sorry ladies, I have been on the phone all evening discussing the days events seeking advice etc but I will give you the low down

essentially shitface, has been telling me that he will be moving into the flat with me and the dcs!!!! , so i went to court today to file for an occupation order, I am trying to get a judge to decide if he is legally entitled to move in, rather than live under his threat. As I am completely broke I had to do it completely on my own, its so scary!

I got a court date for 2 weeks time

mean while I go round to his place to deliver the letter from the court and get handed one back in return telling me he is taking me to court in order to get 50% custody of the dcs

I don't think I have felt this bad since he first walked out on me and the dcs, I really can not believe that he is such an arsehole

but I am so not going to let him beat me, he is so going to wish that he had never tried, because boy when I get mad I get mean, and I have the determination to achieve what I want (the power of positive thought goes a long way!)

PMG - I'm sorry to hear you're going through that crap! WTF is the matter with these exes??? Right ok, a) you know there is no way a court will give him the rights to move into the flat and b) How does he propose to look after the dc's? No, he probably can't. How old are dc's? At a certain age they have a say in the matter. Are you representing yourself in two weeks time? I wouldn't advise it unless you really know the law. Have you been on the legal boards here? I'm sure you can pick up good advice here.

Keep your chin up. He is winding you up, the twunt.

pmg hope you can get some good advice
he wouldn't know what to do with shared access, would he? call his bluff and stay determined

ninah
pmg omfg i do feel for you..jesus it's been hard enough as it is and god my divorce took time but you were separated a good few months before this thread began
i do hope to god that he has some kind of lightbulb moment or that a friend tells him what a complete and utter bastard he's being as the damage that this will do to your dcs is just too awful to even contemplate.
my exh stayed under the same roof as us for nearly a year and the damage it did to mine was hideous,i wanted him out but he wouldn't budge..i think that your exh is a thoroughly despicable man who is trying to bully you and his probs with you far overshadow the needs of your dcs
wtf???
wanting to move back into the family home after all this time?????
what a complete c u next tuesday
i'm so angry and sad on your behalf
am also admiring your spirit as this would have broken alot of people
believe me as if you need telling but the kids will remember this when they're older and able to make choices/voice an opinion,not much help to you now in the short term i know but both you and i know that this man is in the long term alienating himself from his kids

actually mont has a good point there as your dd is the same age as my ds1 and i recently checked the law as he was adamant that he wasn't going to go and i was preparing myself for the inevitable
ds1 even said that he was happy to tell a judge all about his dad too!

I am a little at asking the dd as I have done my best to protect the dcs from most of the fall out. However yesterday I found out that he has been telling them that they would have to choose who they want to live with!

ffs how low can this man go? I have explained to them this morning that daddy wants to move into the flat and possible make us homeless they were shocked and the blinkers are beginning to come off.

I am so sad for their loss of innocence, but I no longer have any other option,

((((((( ))))))
and will be pouring you a large glass of something nice later...words fail me
is he still with the gf?

pmg-what a complete arse, these men dont see what it does to the chilren do they!! It makes me so angry for you. I really hope you can get some legal help on all of this.

PMG - presumably the flat was your marital home, not that that matters in this case, I'm just getting a picture? Who's name is on mortgage/rent. How far on is your divorce settlement? And in answer to your question about how low these men can get, the answer is lower than a snake's belly.

PMG - there is no way he can move in without your consent. He's winding you up!! Get legal aid/CAB advice now!! Involve women's aid if you must or at least give them a ring and see what they say about it. Sorry about exclaimation marks. But grr. If he comes anywhere near your door and starts banging to get in or whatever (assuming he doesn't have a key), call the police straight away, don't think twice. OMG he's started a war hasn't he. Something's rattled his cage and he's bitter. That's what they do, turn on the exw. Ffs.

Poor dc's being dragged into it too.

prob is mont as we well know that despite pmg being a lp on a low income that legal aid is always claimed back
i have to cough up when i finally sell the house
let's face it it's only really free if your names sutcliffe,hindley or west

ASBM - well, that is true. On all counts.

Can't believe the asswipe.

Exh did everything in his power to wind me up.

The luxury of hindsight tells me that I simply should have just laughed in his face instead of getting myself in a state. Twats.

Sorry, posted instead of previewing.

PMG - what I mean is, please please try and not let him see a reaction out of you, that's the bit they enjoy.

thanks for the support ladies

I have managed to speak to the right people this morning and am feeling slightly better.

marathon man has suggested he have a word with him much as I would love that to happen I need to do everything by the book.

It would seem that for the most part the general feel is that I will not have to move out of the flat, thats from my solicitor but I have further appointments elsewhere.He wants to undermine my confidence and gain leeway with the dcs . Unfortunately for him I am not going to cave in under the pressure.

I am away next week, as are the dcs

I really do need a complete break from all the stress.

anyway enough about me, who is of dating this weekend?

oh yes they do don't they..but at the time you're in such a heightened state of rage and motherly instinct kicking in that you don't act rationally and do bite
it has taken me a good year to actually deal with my exh and now i just look at him with an almost bemused expression as he is such a thoroughly pathetic poor excuse for a man and i feel so desperately sorry for the kids that he's their dad
i know that ds1 is totally mortified by him

pmg i know that it's a dating thread but feel free to vent we're happy to listen
dp could have a word yes but i don't imagine that exh would take too kindly to it unless of course he's wary of him!!!
my exh is scared shitless of my dp which is hilarious as exh was a nasty nasty bully, do so wish that i'd had a photo of the moment when the kids forced him to shake his hand
oh it was priceless lol
anyway what are your plans for the w/e?

PMG - as ASBM says, if you need to vent we're here. A week away is just what you need .

ASBM - that must really have been truly priceless lol.

Following mucho domestico this weekend, I'll be partying with a db and dsil who will be here (not staying with me tho ) this weekend, and there's an airshow near here that I may go to if I've made enough progress on the domestico side of life. I can see a shopping sprint with dd coming on too! lol

PMG- what an awful thing to have to try and sort out by yourself, so sorry your having to go through this. I do echo what the others said tho- dont let him see he is bothering you, that will p*ss him off a lot more than any shouting ever will! But I really feel for you, I couldnt imagine my dd living somewhere else half the week, dont think I could hack it.

Oh, and Ninah-Im the worlds worst fb stalker. Cant help it, even though I know I shouldn't I check out EVERYONES profiles!