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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Can I be really nosey and ask how much maintence you get?

127 replies

returningstress · 14/04/2010 23:20

Just out of interest really, my dd is nearly 3 and I get £30 per week. And exp will pay for clothes etc when I tell him what she needs.

He has only recently started paying and I am finding from this amount of money I feel so much better off.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ChasingSquirrels · 16/04/2010 23:50

no need to be sorry - my post wasn't clear, and coming as it did just after yours you would obviously assume I was replying to you.

Unlikelyamazonian · 17/04/2010 00:35

Awww meglet your two are scrummy gorgelicious too.

pithyslicker · 17/04/2010 07:45

We do it a bit different, we both earn similar money, so we worked out the costs for activities etc. and split it 50/50. We split the tax credits and family allowance. And the children see each parent as equals and an equal amount of time, but luckily for me I didn't marry an arse.

Manda25 · 17/04/2010 10:02

Nothing ...for 19 yrs

Original poster

returningstress · 17/04/2010 11:42

Sorry I have not returned to this thread my computer has been playing up.

Exp does not pay for a mortage or rent for us, we cannot afford to live anywhere at the moment so live with my mum

But he would not be able to pay full rent for us and I am not in a steady job yet.

OP posts:

elastamum · 17/04/2010 15:24

I am shocked by how many men dont contribute here. My ex gives me 20% of his salary by standing order, as per the CSA formula, for the kids and he is a high earner. He also pays half our school fees. I reckon we now have about the same to live on, except I keep 3 people on my half, run 2 cars and pay my au pair so I can go out to work. There are lots of things I could say about him, but he has been straight down the line on supporting his children. He would never walk away from his obligation to his kids.

HanBanan · 17/04/2010 16:37

Well this is an example of my ex. I live in spain and work my butt off to look after my dd. He pays when he wants, supposed to be 20 euro a week but that often is once a month.
I am moving back to the uk in sept and spoke to him about my plans (can´t afford to live here anymore).
He said nothing apart from ´what about the money´I said úp to your conscience (CSA can´t touch him here). He said í´ll save up for flights then´
He doesn´t buy her anything, doesn´t help with school trips, his parents babysit for me when I´m working if she´s not at school.
Then he told me his GF who he started dating a couple of months after walking out on us was úp the duff´but then had a miscarriage (sorry for her but she doesn´t know what a shit he is).
So he will never pay for his only child and is trying for another that he will probably never pay for.
Twat.

misterbump · 18/04/2010 07:19

I contribute 300 Euros a month towards my daughter. Plus any extras.

dct · 18/04/2010 08:49

I was getting £5 a week, but that stopped about 6 weeks ago. I rang the csa and they said that it looked like a change of circumstances and they just happened to have sent him a letter about it the day before . So it looks like for some reason hes signed off. The csa are giving him 2 weeks to respond to the letter, but considering he has never responded to anything before I dont know why they are bothering.

If he has returned to the world of work I doubt I will ever get anything again because he was self employed before, so even if they can work out what he should be paying how will they get it? They can hardly take it directly off his wages and he wont give it willingly.

Pronoia · 18/04/2010 10:22

My ex does not pay for a roof over my child's head. That would be me. I opay for a roof over my child's head. As I've already stated, my ex pays £30 per week.

twopeople · 18/04/2010 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thesouthsbelle · 18/04/2010 16:43

can't believe how little some of you guys get,

I get £300 per month XH earns £30 ish K p.a plus he pays our joint loan still. if he has DS for a week thou I give him the full tax credits money. I have more income (incl top ups etc) but by the time all the bills are paid he has far more disposable income thank I do.

it works for us - am expecting it to drop majority thou prob by half when he signs off the army in April.

foureleven · 18/04/2010 17:00

My daughter gets (I say my daughter because I dont think saying 'I get' is really what happens) £200 a month. Thats exactly as per what the CSA calculator says. I beleive its 15% then pro rata for the days he has her out of the week. He literally counts EVERY day and recalculates it in case he loses a pound or two here and there

But gosh reading some of these responses Ive really nothing to complain about!!

jellyjelly · 18/04/2010 20:53

For the last 18k nothing at all which was a kick int he teeth as he had a huge payout but wouldnt even buy shoes/clothes.

He is refusing to set up standing order or work it out but i think that another thread in itself.

Wish the ass would sort it.

maristella · 18/04/2010 20:59

£0

Dollytwat · 18/04/2010 21:12

Another ex who is self-unemployed here too. So I get 5 a week for 2 children.

Sometimes that stops as they've stopped his benefits for some reason.

Took me 2 years to get that as well.

The CSA has finally sent the 2,500 debt to enforcements, not that they'll get anything when they send the bailiffs in.

He never paid the mortgage when we were together, or anything else, so no, nothing towards anything else either.

He had 25,000 off me as a settlement as well, no idea what he did with that.

Would have been much cheaper to have had him bumped off

EpsonPrinter · 19/04/2010 13:52

just got back to this. Feeling really and that these ex partners are not contributing to the mortgages/rents let alone general day to day stuff for their own dc upbringing.

No matter what the acrimony in the split, they have deserted their children. Am fuming on your behalf.

Original poster

returningstress · 19/04/2010 14:40

There are alot of crap fathers out there and a few that will atleast pay for their childs upbringing.

It is shocking how many don't pay...

OP posts:

lauramarie · 19/04/2010 23:55

Absolutely nothing for nearly 8 years now, despite the fact that he works whilst claiming JSA. I have informed the CSA of this but they seem incapable of doing anything. My son sees his father once a fortnight, and we are civil to each other for his sake, but I would appreciate some help with things like school uniform,birthday parties etc., which cost a small fortune, as we all know!

LoveMachine · 20/04/2010 00:15

i get £100 a week from a man who can barely afford it,

i wanted to post this just so sometimes, men get a fair hearing...

i earn enough, as does my new partner but my exh still pays for his daughter...

the only person to benefit from this is our dd.

she is loved and cared for by her extended family.

i didnt realise before this thread how lucky cared for she was

Janos · 20/04/2010 16:11

Nothing from XP. Think he'd probably rather set fire to his money than give it to me tbh.

Me and DS aren't well off but we do ok, somewhere nice to live, enough food etc.

LoveMachine tis good to hear of a decent ex supporting his child.

foureleven · 20/04/2010 17:53

Lovemachine, that is reassuring and restores my faith somewhat. I wish there were more who did this. You think pride would set in wouldnt you and make men want to pay even if the mother doesnt really need it.
Although my daughters dad does pay bang on the nose what he is supposed to, he always makes comments about how my new partner had money so my daughter and I are ok.. I cant imagine taking that view if another woman was paying my daughter's way...

Some of these men are odd creatures.

charlee09 · 20/04/2010 20:33

i have 3 girls and all i get from ex partner is £5 a week. thats basically £1.50 for each child

Penthesilea · 20/04/2010 23:10

Nothing.

He has sent us supermarket vouchers in the past, though, which, it hurts my pride to say, we really do need and they make a huge difference. He's coining it at the moment, earning tons. I could be bitter but I'm not. Just glad we're on our own now.

TinyPawz · 21/04/2010 00:25

not a single penny for dd 3. He left when she was 4 months old.

When he went he left me with £20k in debt ALL IN MY NAME!!!! Ballbag

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