where have all the fit,interesting and available men gone PT19

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

blimey do we really talk that much?!
pc

I'll def put it down to exp, that he is just one person in a big world. he was a bolt from the blue, after 5 yrs. I know i will be fine. i just wanted like cake said, and really thought it was my time to love and be loved.

I am just angry with him now. He's quite prolific in doing volunteer work with all sorts of kids, and for reason I thought he had some integrity.

Omg my telly is great. We can see colours again instead of everything being green!

yey!! nice one!!

pc and cake-The first bloke i went on a couple of dates with did this, loads of messages texts etc until after second date then went all quiet. Juice is right about enjoying it, cos whats the point otherwise.

sm01-glad to hear all is well with you are your nm seems keen

Juice-Bet u cant wait to see forces again

ninah-i cudnt think of anything worse that your evening with those mums

As for date last night, he was a nice bloke and we had some funny conversations but he's not for me there was no 'spark'. He was shorter than he said, same height as me really or not far off, I'm only 5ft4 lol was not ugly, but i cudnt imagine snogging the face off him.....so now i have to think what to say if he wants to go out again?

So on to next one lol one thing it did do was confirm i do quite like trucker just wish he wasnt so shy

juicy great post

well he's back on the dating site, after not being on there for a week or so.

spineless cock.

hmm yeah pc thats a bit shady get urself back out there and chatting to other people!

Just act like most men do when they arent that fussed and slowly lose touch with broken finger syndrome and keep it up with the trucker lol.

Oh Pirate sorry to hear that. What a twat! What on earth goes on in their minds. Never mind there are plenty more so just get back on the horse!

I did eventually hear from fireman last night and we're meeting for a quick coffee tomorrow so who knows but I have no expectations this time.

Betty, shame about EA but at least you know so you can concentrate on Trucker. Has he arranged another date with you yet?

Lou is there no end to the wonders of mechanic. Don't let him go - hold on tight!

Afternoon all, I'm stuffed just got back from Italian Restaurant! Good job I've not got a date tonight, stink of garlic! had a couple of nice texts whilst in there.

pc - don't let it knock your confidence, its his loss.

Betty - shame about EA, in what way is the Trucker shy?

Lou - how long have you been with the mechanic now?

Cake - good luck for tomorrow

Its my birthday tomorrow, so hopefully will get a nice birthday text if he remembers! Haven't arranged to see him until next week. Would like to see him but didn't want him to feel he HAD to see me on my birthday so although I've told him its tomorrow I've played it a bit down. XH has emailed me anyway to say he can't see DS, so in a way I'm pleased 'cos that means I get the day with DS on my birthday, but it would have been nice to have had the opportunity to meet nm.

ladies I really need some advice
and no it's not on dating, would start a thread but I'd like to hear from you lot as to what you think
ex cancelled his scheduled visit last weekend to go skiiing, and suggested meeting up this sat instead, also confirmed dates to have dc over Easter
I was a bit peeved as there have been lots of excuses lately and replied oK to Easter dates but the regular visits need to be just that ie regular
he did not turn up today
and when I phoned him he said after Easter he can only make it once a MONTH
as his dad (elderly unwell) is now living with him
I just don't buy it tho
he will no way be hands on carer for his dad and to me it just seems like an excuse
I've noticed little things like instead of taking them to a restaurant for a meal like he used to it's hot dogs, and the novelty seems to have worn off
plus maybe he has changed gf who knows
but I really don't know what to do now, I have come to rely on a fortnightly break as it's the one and only time i get to myself
and on a less selfish front dc are so settled, I was only saying the other day how well ds is doing every time things start to get easier something happens
they get so excited about seeing him
I am tempted to tell him to eff off for good actually, what bloody good is once a month? most dads want MORE contact not less
so and which is why I need sensible advice from people who know the score but aren't clouded by emotion

ninah - is his dad ill? i ask because i have a similar situ with dc dad when he goes to italy at the moment. their grandf is a bit ill and not really in the dc interest to be in his company for very long. poor memory etc. keeps forgetting who the dc are , etc. so at the moment they aren't being allowed to go when he's having a "bad turn"..

i'd say if dc are settling better and ex is guaranteeing that once a month.. it is much better to go for a monthly visit where they wont be let down.. rather than more regular and then being let down iykwim.

betty - at pint tized EA... i'd dwarf the little lad.

lou - new tv sounds fab.

pc - def need to chalk up this one as a bad one. being back on site is bad sign.

cake - enjoy your coffee with fireman

sm - sounding good for you

betty - what did you tell trucker you were doing?

Ninah - some things about this don't add up. If his dad is unwell and living with him, how come he can go skiing.

How long have you been split and he's been seeing them like this?

For the kids sake its best if he can see them regularly. However, unfortunately you can't make him see them as I well know. My XH sees my DS for an hour a week - and this week he's cancelled again. Its crap, it messes with the kids, but all you can do is be the one that is there for them

visits are up here, ex comes down for basically lunch and a bit of time with dc
they are supposed to be going to his for a few days soon, so it's nothing to do with being kept away from gf
I don't know how ill he actually is right now, not ill enough to prevent ex going skiing anyhow
I suppose you're right it just seems so v v little
nothing I can so except suck it up
and s m i l e

x posted sm1
you're right the whole thing is a crock of shit
like losing his car keys
he knows I will swallow a family reason without asking questions
his dad is old and has been unwell but I know from past experience of ex there is no way he is the one holding the thermometer
he has either met someone OR just got bored

oh he has been doing the fortnightly visits a couple of years now
nothing at all for the first year until I asked him to see them, wishing I hadn't now

ninah - this is the problem. you cant really accuse him of crock of shit. you do have to just accept it with all the other crock of shit excuses our delightful exes on this thread provide.

sucking it up is pants. but not really much else can be done. dc are enjoying no matter what time. but if you do sincerly wish you hadn't bothered starting his access.. let it go to once a month... maybe it'll dwindle to once every 2nd month.. and you wont be the big bad wolf who said the dc couldn't see their dad.

thanks everyone
I know what has to be done and feel a bit calmer about it all
on a purely selfish front I sooo rely on the odd child free saturday to stop going completely insane - no earth mother me - but I managed before and I will again
sorry to launch straight into this but I don't have rl friends I could ask as I think you need to be a lone p to know what it's like
thanks again

no problem Ninah, its not easy being a lp.

good luck ninah. your doing fab as you are

Hi everybody

Ninah for you and dcs. I think I'd probably have to accept it. It's better than nothing. Me time is so important, can really understand where you're coming from. It really does keep us sane. You might find a way to work with it.

Lol at your friend who admired the charity shop item.

Lots of angst on here with broken finger syndrome.

Juice - that was a brilliant post before.

Ninah, I know it doesn't help particularly if you think xh is talking a pile of dog-do but once a month is better than what I get - f*ing zilch and not likely to ever get any break either seeing as sperm donor ex got himself deported and appears to be unable to get a visa (or pick up the phone but that's another story!)

See, always someone worse off - least I've got my mum who's usually okay about babysitting if not at having kids on her own while I swan off get a much needed break for the weekend!

Yummy, hair of the dog poured!

Betty and DTMSJ - yep seems to be going well, still early days though. The only thing thats bugging me is i don't think he's paid me one compliment yet, you know, like 'you look nice' or something. I mean he must like me otherwise he wouldn't bother wanting to see me again. i think he is probably quite shy and inexperienced in the dating game so maybe he just doesn't know what to say. We haven't had a 'heavy'/how do you feel type chat yet.

sm1 sometimes quite nice men feel shy about saying that stuff, you can tell if they like you tho
imo players are much more free with the compliments
have you paid him any then?!
ta everyone for the support, you know how ti goes, and kdk
I don't have family round so if I want childcare I have to pay for it which I find inhibits the experience lol
to all those suffering from broken finger by proxy print out juicy's post and frame it
I

thanks ninah, that's what I hope and agree with players being more free with compliments. and no I haven't paid him any either!