Hi singlemum, juice, mrsm and everyone else
Meeting NM is a long story - I first met him four years ago when I was at college, through a mutual friend. We liked each other but nothing happened, until one night when we got drunk and then something did happen! It was a lovely night, but I was in an open relationship with someone else at the time and it all got complicated, so I backed off for a bit. We used to chat online sometimes though. We ended up flirting online and then eventually something else happened - but it was weird and awkward and I didn't like the way he handled it and I said that there was no way we could go out now. Then I met XP (DS' dad) and he was really controlling and definitely did NOT like me talking to NM because of the history between us. So we lost touch, but I still had him as a friend on facebook.
Anyway, fast forward to now, a month or so after I had left XP I started to contact all my old friends who I had lost touch with. I was quite thrilled when NM replied and realised that I still fancied him - but I was very cautious/wary because of it being so soon after leaving XP, I wanted some time on my own, etc. Just chatted with him for a bit, didn't make a move etc. He is at uni at the moment hence the distance (not sure of driving time because I don't drive - google says about 3-4 hours) and then he mentioned that he would be home (20-30 mins driving distance away) for good from July. So I thought oh - there might be a chance after all. But still said nothing because I didn't want him to think that I'd only contacted him because I fancied him, IYSWIM.
So we chatted on and off for about 2 months, and then finally I said something, and he said back that he was interested too - so I walked around like this for a few days we have been chatting most nights/a few times a week since then. That was actually about one month ago now. (Though it feels longer ) I bought a cheap webcam and we started to chat on webcam, which was weird, seeing him again (and the fact that he was not unattractive at 18 was not lost on me but he is now a VERY fit 21 year old...! And of course I look like crap compared to what I looked like at 18 ) but it was nice too. And then this week it has been the holidays so he has been home and he ended up coming round the other night when I was talking to him online, so we stayed up all night (mainly just talking!) DS (18mo) obviously chose to wake up right at all the worst moments! But it was fine and NM completely understood and was lovely about it. I am seeing him again tomorrow when DS is at XP's. Not sure how often we will see each other when he is back at uni but I am quite happy with this - I think that I went in way too quickly with XP so don't want to do that at all this time. In fact I have resolved not to think about the future or make plans or anything and just take it one day at a time and see if I am happy - I think he is thinking similar which is good. I am not too fussed about being in a relationship or not, but I do like him and will be happy if it works out. But equally if it doesn't - being single isn't the end of the world!
Sorry, I have written a whole essay there - I said it was long!