First date in years, advice please!

[SingleMum01]

I've got a first date next week - a lunchtime drink in a busy pub. Met the bloke on the internet so as well as feeling nervous I feel a bit unsure. Any advice please?

Nerves are normal before a date and part of the excitement and fun. So try to relax a little and make them not-too-serious nerves, just exciting ones.

As far as being a bit unsure about meeting a man from the internet goes you have taken the right precautionary steps by meeting in a public place. Another you might want to do is make sure someone knows where you are meeting him and waits for a call/text from you to know all is well(and that you're having a great time!)

Hope it goes well and you have fun!

p.s I met my partner on the net and we've been together for 3 years now, net dating can work out very well!

Its a lunchtime drink - your not eloping it will be fun- you have a week to prepare enjoy it!!

am in the same situation and am also meeting in public place. am nervous too lol good luck sweetheart xxx

mrsharket, lets support each other in our nervousness! When are you meeting? Did you meet them on the net?

hi singlmum01 yes we are meeting tonight lol
yeah met him on net, don't really want to say too much - don't want to jinx things.oh gawd getting butterflies now lol. i didn't want to hijack your thread - sorry xx

Good luck to both of you, just be yourselves and don't take any shit

I met my partner last feb on the net, its the way to go, have a fab night ladies

lol @ pmg
relax and enjoy yourself and obv.from a safety pov remember to let friends know where you are
hope you have a fab time and you do realise that we will all be expecting an update!

hope all goes well, you MUST update us tomprrow!

mrs harket - how did it go?

would have said get drunk and get laid if you had not met on the net
Hope you have a lovely time!

probably healed up anyway, its been so long!

LOL

Anyone heard from mrsmharket since her date .

I think going on a blind date is one of the most nerve racking things to do in life. Going on a date full stop is butterfly inducing but in RL at least you've actually met before even if you were drunk in a nightclub or something.

I'm not helping am I. I have done it a few times best to just try and relax, glass of red usually helps me.

Have fun.

well, sorry haven't been able to get on pc, i have to rely on library lol

anyway. we got on really well, it was nerve wracking and am looking forwards to meeting him again i did get a bit tipsy so i had to stay at one glass, we ended up tlaking all night

Well done MrsHarket. I can't go on my date. Picked my DS up from school today with the squits so got to keep him off tomorrow and therefore have to cancel lunch date. Maybe not meant to be.

Was thinking about it last night and realised he's only ever messages me when accessing the dating site from work. Seems a bit suspicious although he has said he is single and knows from my profile I'm not up for a one night stand. Maybe he hasn't got a pc at home - although he'd be the only one I know who hasn't! He's said he hasn't been in a relationship for a year and I'm the only one he's messaging. How can I find out if he is without obviously asking?

i haven't got pc either can you ring him to apologise for having to cancel then rearrange?xx

I rang him in the evening and he didn't answer his phone. So I text him to explain why I needed to cancel. He text me a bit later to see he was in the gym but would ring me after if I wanted. He's text me again today to see how things have been.

he's now dumped me by text - i thought i'd warn you but i'd still like to be friends if you don't mind. wtf?

oh what a shit!

online dating can be hard, one has to toughen up emotionally otherwise it can be hurtful.

I was stood up twice!

I was gutted at the time but looking back on it I am bloody glad they did, it showed their true colours, and they obviously weren't the right man for me, the next one I met, was

break out the wine chocolate, and pass it round

you are well rid

Oh no mrs harket - had you arranged another date?

Sorry to hear MrsMharket. Onwards and upwards tho!

SingleMum01. From what you've said I hear some alarm bells ringing too.

Before I met my now GF, I used to frequent dating sites. Knowing how they work, if he's only messaging you then either he is clueless or lying. In my experience the odds of getting a reply are about 1/10. Out of that 1 contact, the odds of getting a date is about 1/4. So if he's got half a brain cell he won't be just talking to one.

Of course he could be nothing like me & some of my friends who used the machine gun tactic.

However, if he's only messaging you from work and not answering calls/texts in the evening, that's another alarm bell.

What I would suggest is that you go on your date but just take care. Certainly don't progress anything until you know either exactly where he lives, his landline number or something which confirms he's single and not playing away from home. You can do this for example after the first date by calling him up for a conversation and then saying "oh can I call you on a landline, its cheaper".

Lastly but this smacks a little of desperation at the moment, you could set up another profile on the same dating site, use someone else's photo and drop him a message. See if he replies.

Thanks niceguy - good suggestions. An update, we met yesterday and got on well. I don't think he is married ort living with anyone from things he said - he actually has a life (unlike me!)so doesn't spend hours on pc at home and is not big into pc's at home. We're meeting again next week for lunch. Still early days and I'm still very wary and listening for clues. He originally arranged to meet in a pub near him (but I needed to change it), so you would think if he has got something to hide he wouldn't be willing to meet so local. Anyway, whatever happens I'm very proud that I actually went (1st date in years) and he wants to meet me again! Even if it ends up as no more than that I feel its given my confidence a boost.

PS If we do go ahead and do lunch, what's the etiquette in paying for it these days, should I offer to pay half?

I think you should offer but if he's insistent then let him pay.

As for wary, the easiest defence is to just take things slow. Players will have a naturally short attention span due to the fact they have multiple ppl to juggle and/or a GF/wife at home. They need to "seal the deal" quickly.

So if you make him wait for it, automatically you weed out the players.

But step 1 first, don't jump to step 32 before you reached step 2!