Xmas gift ideas for your horrible ex/h/p....?

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

a hamper full of ready-meals for one?
anger management course?
good-parenting workshop?
any other recommendations???!!!

An 18-month lock-in mobile phone contract with a very expensive network?

Well, that's fraud, but you might find it fun to think about! As for actually doing, what sort of money do you want to spend?

Lol

An ironing board
A lawn mower
A pass to leisure centre for weekly swimming etc for him and dcs

And some books:
'How to Lose Friends and Alienate People'
'Catcher in the Rye'
'Women are from Venus...'

etc

a healthy dose of crabs from his skanky ho

ewwww!!
winged as little as poss.seeing as he has neglected forgotten the annual maintainence review
arsenic pill?
personality transplant?
big box of tissues?
mind you did see a state of virginia from lovehoney which was only a fiver
could go with the bumper box of tissues seeing as he's going to be on his own for a considerably lengthy period being such a miserable bitter arse
saying that he'd prob.enjoy it too much

ooh, what about if the tissues were the woodchip sort?

rofl ooh don't give me ideas

or ones laced with deep heat?

shit on a stick

yay!
hope this is giving you plenty of ideas leslaki

yeah and a poke in the eye with it too lol

ding dong merrily on high!!!! could have fun this Xmas!

rofl yeah too bloody right!!
actually we could start our v own cottage industry..fancy being my business partner?
oh and more ideas..
1 way ticket to the back of beyond
itching powder which the kids will accidentally on purpose empty into his pants
a hitman
specially framed copy of decree absolut and/or the petition
keep em coming!!

letter from the csa

a big helping of guilt
a large portion of honesty
a medium serving of reliability

ooh think thats a big ask ivy

another 1 that's sprung to mind!!
a photo of his reaction when he met my new bloke
absolutely priceless..!

A sense of humour, some manners, a cookery book so he can stop feeding the kids junk!

A pair of scissors so he can cut the cord between him and his mummy.

Or perhaps that book, How To Win Friends And Influence People.

Even more hilarious - a framed photo of me and xh on our wedding day for his NW!!!! And the video - I could even put it on dvd blu ray hd or whatever fancy system he has now!!Forsaking all others - until death do us part...

sounding good ladies!
a few more....
a calendar to remind him of when he has the dcs.
a watch which delivers electric shock reminds him of when he should collect/drop-off
shoe polish,brush and washing powder so he can manage to have clean school clothes when he drops them back to you at bedtime on a sun
oh and above watch includes extra shock alarm to remind him to make sure that all homework is done instead of you frantically scrabbling thru book bags on a sun night

another!
a doormat-as you're no longer there to be one

these cheered me up on a shitty day

good stuff!
always pleased to give us all a much needed smile
mlm please feel free to add..have actually been considering a compilation cd..any suggestions?
i def think it's worth cobbling together doing
ohh and it can have a personalised pic relevent for each MNer too..
...a winner ladies?!

A bag of shit from that Oxfam Unwrapped catalogue.