Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part TWELVE

[lou33]

starts here

why would you bin off gymboy before asking about it?

he may well just have been checking mail or hiding a profile or something, talk to him before you dump him

RJ is very wise (with other people's issues) - she asked me the right question yesterday that's helped me think. So, sb, he may be confused - work is such a long term thing and you just never know with new people - but no harm in telling him you AREN'T confused about him.

The trekker is away with work - just sent him quite an explicit e-mail but am feeling good about him. Still tired and stressed about work.

mousie at the explicit email. sounds like fun. bet that cheered up his usual email reading

BB msn today to say he would text me later and wants to meet asap.. eeeek.

he wants to come round here. i was hoping to hold off till the wkd so i could go to his, then i could make a quick exit if required.

another question for you girlies. i asked both irish and BB about visiting GUM for a health check.

just i feel its time i had another as i like to do it regular
good health and all that. keeps my mind at rest.

1 of them refused point blank and their response was "i give blood, and if you are clean then surely i am"

the other is ridiculously scared of needles, but would do it if i wanted him to.

who said what?!

ah.. see this is the suprising thing.

safe reliable "nice guy" BB refused.

ever suprising irish was the one who would.

i was kind of hoping that would be the answer, as you seem to get on with irish so well

i guess that helps sort out the wheat from the chaff

so.. think my choice is irish ladies.

agree with lou juicy - irish all the way for me i think. i'd have reservations about a partner who wanted to sleep with me unprotected or not and not be checked out first.

well say NS up at the gym - he's going to get promoted to NG now. has had the seal of approval from my aunty/uncle (who's hand he shook!) it's good all around.

juicy - you're right I do care v much so just don't want to a) hold him back when neither of us knows if anything's even gonna be coming of this, and b) being the sort of person who says you can't do XYZ cos that's not the sort of person I am.

gonna talk to him once he's finished in the gym so will tell him then, we've already both agreed we want to see more of each other time allowing. got a date deffo pencilled in for Thurs & fri of this week. missed the chance to tell him i'm ready for the next step - or not??

Lou - been chatting since start of aug & met him on the 15th aug (only know as it's when my outlaws came to stay)

saw**

ok so only a tiny bit longer than i have actually been seeing lb then

in my case i think i would freak out ever so slightly if there was any discussion whereby i felt any job relocation would have even the slightest influence by me

i mean at this stage of a relationship, btw

but it may be me who is the odd one out

that's my thoughts lou. as I say i'm going down the whole whatever you choose is fine by me not wanting to influence things.

i mean its ok to let him know how you feel about him, but i wouldnt incorporate the two conversations , so one would influence the other iyswim

we had a kind of talk on fri night about how we view each other

and... how did it go!

God don't you just hate all this, can I say this now, how many weeks etc stuff, guess it's necessary though to build a healthy relationship.

I only met mine yesterday but am feeling the angst. He text me tonight, I had mates round so didn't hear it, then left it to make a phone call before replying, then he text back to say night and I'm thinking do I leave it now or text back!!! Decided to leave it. God I hate this stage. Don't want to appear too keen etc.

eve - just bloody reply.. its been a while since you received it after all. not like you have jumped to reply the instant you got it. come on woman... REPLY.

its ok to leave it a while if you like that game. but to leave it till next day just looks uninterested

jeeze i'm bossy today. right heading to bed ladies. night

lol Juicy, I did reply to the first, just not to the next one. Going to leave it for hin to text tomorrow.

Isn't it always the case when you are not bothered there is no probs you reply as and when you feel fit so they are all over you.

Then the ones you like you let them know and they get scared off. God I hate all this, but love it really. Want to get the balance right.

go juicy.

eve fwiw I usually respond to NG's texts within an hour. unless i'm not interested and then I don't bother replying at all.

had a nice chat with him last night n told him what I thought said I really liked him n think he's one of a kind (cheers for the shove out the door juicy) was expecting (sort of) something nice back but all he said was 'thanks, that's a really sweet thing to say I like you to', followed by you know i'm not very good at saying stuff like that! all he had to say was backatcha and i'd have been made up!

sounding good belle.

i just reply when i see messages. trick is i suppose when your in first flush. be busy so you genuinely dont see them quickly, or hide your phone in the abyss of a large bag.

juicy is right eve, i think you overthink this sometimes

i went to bed and spent about 40 mins on the phone to lb before i went to sleep

the conversation on friday kind of evolved from other things, but basically ended up saying we are going to see how it goes and not see other people

right now its a bit manic wrt his work so we cant meet more than every few weeks but he reckons it will ease off in a couple of months which will make it easier

my phone is always on silent, but i reply as soon as i see a message, to anyone

i dont expect an immediate reply though

just having a catch-up
eve-way hey!am pleased for you and you've already secured that elusive 2nd date!if he asked you there and then then he's def keen.IMO you're handling the texting situ spot on here let him take the lead,men like the chase
scl-have you any RL friends in same situ who have moved on who can obv.relate to what you're going thru?fwiw i had major wobble but was talked round by a friend.have you met any of his family or close friends to get a better understanding of him and what he's like?one thing worth considering here which my friend pointed out to me was that as much as your dcs are what its all about at some point they will leave home and have lives of their own and what is left for you then?there has to be some point where you let go of your doubts and negative thoughts re:relationships.not wishing to speak out of turn here or sound bossy iyswim
RJ and Lou-looking good for both of you as well.
SB-would you be prepared to have a LDR?
mousie-the latest please!
LLAJ-you gone awol again?

Another overthinker here! But am also in those early days of wanting to get it right and having no idea what he might be thinking - I keep having to remind myself that this is the exciting bit, it's not supposed to be for worrying about.

As for texts, often not all day whilst at work - to anyone, not just him, am much quicker otherwise. But then we spoke every night between our first and second date and I am sure that breaks all the 'rules'!

sb - it took a while for you to decide what to say, maybe he'll take a little while too?

RJ - good for irish - he sounds great - would be worried by anyone who refused to go to GUM tbh.

scl - you sound very ambivalent about him. You don't need to 'settle' for someone - but you know this. If he doesn't want to meet your dc (at all? after all these months?) then I guess only you can know if you are happy to live with what you have at the moment.

i would start to wonder about a relationship if after all that time he made no effort to want to meet the kids as well, scl