Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part ELEVEN

[lou33]

dollparts he messaged me through a dating site i forgot i was on

South- know exactly what you mean don't think its to much to ask. Well at leas for my sake as well as yours I am hoping not! Stubble is nice

lol. seems to be thou.

can i ask u gals - casual relationships - favour them or not? am thinking that's what gymboy is after, but not sure - is 'seeing what happens' defined as that? if it makes a difference we talk daily on the phone, usually he'll ring me thou, text 2-3 times a day - usually i'll text first unless i'm manic then he does. see each other about 2 times a week. (well at least once) does that sound like casual? am a little confused as not done the whole se what happens things b4, it's always been yep I like u right lets date.

also long n slow burning in developing, or the whole fast n furious developing/ (have had 2 of the fast ones - XH & XP, and am now favouring slow burning)

Personally, I think slow is usually more long lasting but I could be wrong.
I hate the whole see how it goes thing, he obviously likes you as he wouldn't see and contact you so much otherwise. Maybe he is a bit frightened?! Not of you but just of committing too soon?
Anyway not sure what you should do, is he seeing anyone else that u know of?

nope says not, which tbh I now believe - didn't last week thou!

quite philosophical (sp) about it all now really, if it happens it happens, he's lovely but not gonna force/pressure the issue in any way to see him running for the hills. He did say last time he had a serious relationship they did the 'seeing how things go' but for about 5 months b4 being together for 4 years. maybe that's where i've been goin wrong all these years!

slow's deffo better.

so have you/are you seeing your chappy - have you got a name for him yet?

He sounds lovely just give it a bit of time I guess ( I find it hard as I am an instant answers type of person!) He is giving all the right signals so as hard as it I guess just sit back and enjoy!!
No name yet, he is very nice much nicer than expected. We texted afterwards and he said I made him smile when I suggested meeting up he said he you love to. So now I am not really sure what to do next, except wait?
There is one other man but he isnot serious just bit of fun!! Which I think from my side has just about run its course.
Advice on next step much appreciated.

casual can be ok if you dont want anything too intense

am glad your date last night went well

lunchbox is still in daily and regular contact, tho he is working stupidly long hours atm and dying on his feet from tiredness, because he is a member of staff down

plus he is trying to clear the decks a bit as he is away yet again this weekend and next (hence me not being able to see him, they were planned before we met), so putting in extra hours trying to get stuff done, and also making sure he goes to see his dc every even before they go to bed

Its been a long time since I last posted on here. My man of the time was reported as abducted by aliens after a really good date. Turned out he'd been taken ill. Anyway long story short, he proposed a few months ago and we're getting married in October in the village chapel next to the house we've brought together. Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement I think I could have so easily given up on the dating game without them.

oh thats wonderful news, how lovely

congratulations

should we all buy hats in anticipation of our invitations in the post?

Invitations I knew there was something I'd forgotten - along with sorting a venue etc etc. Still got to find something to do now I've only got the one man to deal with.

Ant that's fantastic, look forward to seeing the wedding photo's lol.

Lucy, glad it went well. I would advise to wait until he contacts you now.

Aww, lovely news ANT! Congratulations.

Well, I have to have a quick moan here as I know lots of us will have been in same situation. I thought my ex was being unusually pleasant and had co-operated with the CSA and I was gonna get a reasonable amount of maintenance. Enough to really help out and make a difference.

Of course I should have known better than to expect him to behave decently. He has just rung me to advise that he has left his job! Oh and I can only contact him on his mobile phone.

and but not surprised.

that's terrible janos, i am so sorry

Has he given up his job to avoid the CSA? The lengths some men will go too it's just diabolical. Don't let him off the hook with this one Janos. He will have to get another job sometime and when he does get it reassessed.

janos - at your ex. charming as usual i see.

lou - still sounding good with lunchbox.

lucy - also sounding good.

re- casual. em... ok if that what you fancy. i prefer an actual relationship but on a basis where you dont see them too much due to limited time. ... but my commitment phobia gets in the way here , must admit, if your in right place at the right time a sport f*ck type situ can be fullfilling.

as for me - well, this morning was arranged to see beachbum tonight before he goes away. then things went bit tits up with his plans for a lift to airport. so not meeting. but he has asked me if i would like to pick him up when he gets back. so we'll see how it goes with contact while he's away. we're back on even keel, i have his phone number again , we seem to have forgotten all about me dumping him and avoided the dreaded "chat" - phew!!!

nearly forgot

ANT - fan bloody tastic. cant believe it. wow!!!!! someone from the thread is getting married. bloody hell. wish you all the best.

Not good Janos - I would be in deep trouble if maintenance stopped though I have to face the fact that it will reduce heavily when ds2 is 13. (Exh is old!!). Someone suggested I take out life insurance on him but I'm not sure whether this can be done.

Lou - lunchbox sounds good - muso def too thin - I like my men with a bit of meat

ANT - great news - did you know quite quickly that NM was the one for you.

As for me I met samename briefly last night for a couple of drinks (had to go as exh had to leave to get back). Had a lovely time as always and I suggested to him he think carefully about 'us' when he was away on holiday - he looked quite hurt and said he wanted to carry on, he realised the difficulties I faced in terms of availability. Think we might try to go away for a weekend soon.

Have still not resolved the issues with dcs not wanting to stay over at exhs - it seems that his new p is the prob with her fanatical views on eating. Hopefully can resolve something next week otherwise I will not get any free time to do anything!!

scl - so if he comes back and is up for serious relationship and wants to meet dc will you go for it and see where it leads you?

also.... whats this about maintenence with exh being older? my dc dad is ALOT older than me too. when is it reduced? is it an age thing or do you mean retirement thing?

Yes he will retire then. By that time DS1 will be 18.

As for samename - I didn't really mean it in that way more from the point of view of did he want to carry on seeing me given my time is so limited. If he wants to meet DCs I am happy for that to happen though don't think I would want him around every weekend - we are always running around to football practice/matches at weekends. But it would be nice if he could come over some weekends and also I would like to see dcs reaction to him.

I'll talk to him again when he comes back.

scl we must catch up on msn

ds will be 13 when exp is 60, and dd 12

that is if he doesn't retire early.....

doesn't make a difference to CSA as my ex pays zilch due to clever bookwork

but.... doubt his pension will allow him to continue maintenece he pays just now...

so..... he will need to keep working till he's almost 70 to keep up maintenece till they are 18

SCL I did feel I clicked with NM quickly. Bizarrely after we met and seamed to really hit it off he disappeared off line and I didn't have his number. On the thread we came to the conclusion he was abducted by aliens but it turned out he'd been taken very ill. With a lot of nothing to loose support I emailed and messaged him and then heard back. It all kind of went very quickly from there. My DS now 3 and 5 really get on well with him and he's helping out with the daily routine with them so we feel like a family. I don't suppose I'd ever trust anyone as deeply as my ex but it is good to feel life is back in control and moving forward.

Janos even if he has quit his job isn't he obliged to pay a percentage of what he has be it benefits or anything. I believe the minimum is something like £5/ child/ week but he'd be in the system if its taken at source and if he gets other paye employment you'd be able to get your rightful entitlement.

waving at lou

Yes Lou - I just need to prise the laptop off the ds's - I am on the Mac atm and MSN doesn't work on there.

Sorry we never made it to MB world - we didn't do any trips in the end except for street cricket and a short stay with my mum/

hello
at janos's ex
lou it must be kind of a relief to be able to concentrate on lunchbox now
eve hope you meet keyman
lucy glad your date went well
hadn't thought about ex retirement! hope by then to be earning more myself
went back to work today, it was really draining, not so much work itself but getting home and house a tip, what to cook etc, all that

i will let you off scl

concentrating on lunchbox is not a chore

Gosh Juicy how much older is your ex than you?

Had a funny message on POF today from a 26 yr old who asked if I would consider dating a much younger man, that would be 22 yrs younger, then added if not would I adopt him. Did say no but I just had to reply

Weird how I always reply to the fit younger ones but not often to the balding oldies.

Anyone heard from ASBM, hope she is OK.

balding oldies are not as fun to flirt with or look at thats why