Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part ELEVEN

[lou33]

dollparts he messaged me through a dating site i forgot i was on

not working as he's in civial service that much I know.

Was just ringing to say change of plans my end, not going to the gym and to come over when he wanted to - he's coming to get me but will be the first time he comes to my house. Was 'around 8' as I said i'd finish the gym about half 7 ish. so now do I wait for a call, do I text or what? need to get in the bath either way n wash my hair.

get in bath. get ready and wait for him to call for directions. he WILL be coming.

no more calls or text. you have left him a msg and a missed call.... he KNOWS you are trying to reach him. probably not replying as expecting to see you at gym.

PUT THE PHONE DOWN

do you think, he said y'day hes the sort of person who says it as it is. don't think i've had a 4th date with anyone b4 and been this unsure/nervous. GBF's words are still echoing in my mind as well which isn't helping - that I'd never trust gymboy & would always be wondering what's going on, but mum thinks he's only saying that as he wants to have a chance together (which he's already admitted as much).

if i've not heard by 8pm shall I turn the phone off?

not ringing or texting don't worry. lol. got to go n sit and read that book.

you will be pleased to know janos, that i am now bathed and perfumed and looking a lot more respectable

I agree with rj, southsbelle!

Lou - I am now in my pyjamas, maybe we just swapped!!!

I just don't know if I am ready about this given all that has gone before - my friends are all childless (I am 28) tho I have a 16 yr old cousin but she is busy with her friends all next weekend, well fri and sat pm.

New job is teaching medical students. Have made myself sort things out so I look smart and professional. But I still feel like this tired, emotional glad-but-worn-out single mum... does that feeling and "look" ever go???

I agree with rj, southsbelle!

Lou - I am now in my pyjamas, maybe we just swapped!!!

I just don't know if I am ready about this given all that has gone before - my friends are all childless (I am 28) tho I have a 16 yr old cousin but she is busy with her friends all next weekend, well fri and sat pm.

New job is teaching medical students. Have made myself sort things out so I look smart and professional. But I still feel like this tired, emotional glad-but-worn-out single mum... does that feeling and "look" ever go???

Oops

he rang, just sorted out half 8, now need to be firm n both not ask him in for coffee after & also actually get out on the date lol. apparently his phone is knackered?! god i'm sceptical. face value.... face value....

how are you girls all getting on anyhow?

have 45 mins to kill so will get n watch a bit of titanic - don't ya love it!

course it goes. (least for the first few weeks! )

no honestly it does go, when i'm at work i'm smart, professional (I hope) and do my job, no messing, with the odd chat about DS etc (unless nursery calls) but at home i'm a woman, and a mother, the accountant who's professional stays in the office then. I think it's about separating & compartmentalising things in your own mind.

ooh south, i've started on the proper accountanty bit of my course. previous course was more about financially advisory stuff.... i absolutely lovely dealing with good old numbers and figures.

really really want to get get in a job where they will let me study on the job and learn as i work

lol.

they do have them out there, infact I had 2, what you're after in general is a pratice, they tend to be more giving towards study packages - but usually as a consequence you have less pay. I studied for some of my CAT before DS came along when I stopped, have carried on & picked up roughly at the level I was at just with a smaller firm (and single currency) but it's great. Pratice taught me a firm foundation for the basics and it helps me in industry cos I know how the accountant will like things layed out to finalise the year end (I can't do that bit as not qualified to finalise) but do the rest thou. Industry gives you a good basis thou if you want to be a bit more restrictive in your jobs - is I work now in the roofing industry, previously i've done various bits, but I think given the choice i'd stop in roofing. Practices can be v v stuffy if you catch my drift.

good luck to you thou, so far i've found it's reasonably paid and also hopefully will have a job doing this for as long as I want it (maybe not this company) but everyone always needs an accountant/acocunts person right?!?

10 mins and counting... off to brush me teeth - I bet he's gonna be 15 minutes late!

(oh btw that's not sad - what's sad is actually enjoying analysing out where people spend their money and then saying.... HOW MUCH!!! )

have a good night south

have a nice time belle

thepianist has been trying to get me to agree to go to his place for the weekend almost since we met. He lives 2 hrs away. Today I have said no, meet me half way, we need to meet before I can do that. He mailed me back saying he thought we'd never meet because I am so busy. we have had this weird messaging session tonight where he has said he wants a superficial sexual relationship with me & nothing more and doesn't understand why that is a problem!!!

I have a date planned for Sunday with thetrekker

Hope you had a great night - tell us all!
It's great hearing of people enjoying what they do. Have not had time at home in 18 months and it has been a real revelation - at 13m, DD was quite hard work and I was glad to get back to work. At 2.8, when I thought she'd be very difficult, I have loved being at home with her and so wish I could afford to do it more or permanently. Very unexpected feelings.

Does anyone else go through a "hating men" phase when their ex is being spectacularly useless or problematic? I need to get over that - not all men are like him, I know, but how did I ever not see?

yup. last thurs. hence the binnng of beachbum.

quite refularly actually.

mousie I know what you mean about the 'feeling' and 'look'! I work with children so no need to be smart luckily. But I do feel jaded sometimes. It's so hard now dc are getting older but the time when dd was baby and ds toddler, well I think it took an irrerversible toll. Still, love my job, my dc and where we live now, and I've rediscovered the joys of hair dye.
I don't really hate men but sometimes I can be quite bitter; I closed my eyes to my ex's warning signs too. Basically, some people just aren't good combinations. It would be easier to leave the past behind if we didn't have to stay in touch for dc. Just have to leave it behind mentally and treat them as business I suppose.
Winnie sounds like pianist is eliminating himself in favour of trekker. Look forward to hearing about your date.
South . relaaaaaax! hope the date was great.
rj have you had the chat yet???? am waiting!
good to hear that I'm not alone in the pj department. Work next week will be a shock!

just quickly,

good date, he stayed at mine - ARGHHH!!! there's no one else apparently for him either, talked about being 'official and decided not yet - not sure waht that would mena but for now gonna be having some fun getting to know each other - he's lovely thou, really like him. ho hum.

will give a full account tonight after work.

aw, thesouthsbelle, how exciting

mousie, def know what you mean about ex behaviour sometimes impacting on how I am feeling about men generally. Also there are certain 'traits' that I just know I will always stay clear of now.
ninah, I don't think you sound bitter. I think you sound quite philosophical.

no "chat", but have said good morning on msn as usual .... hopefully dont need to have the "chat"

south - your decision or his not to be official?

ninah - @ treat them as business. very good way of looking at it.

joint really, on the one hand i'd like it to be, but on the other hand I don't cos I want to get to know him b4 coming out & saying yes this is my partner/BF etc. tbh I was more bothered by the fact he's possibly seeing someone else & fooling around with me at the same time.

right, time to catch up & fill you all in properly.

firstly...

RJ - fingers crossed he won't want a chat then?

winnie am the same re: steering clear of the same traits as an ex - for me the first thing would be not working or controlling etc.

ninah - that would be fantastic if we could leave them behind - i'd vote for that choice every time! certainly not alone there.

right so he came over at 8.45 (as expected) which I found a bit annoying, but ho hum.. I got in the car n had the peck which we usually do. has shaved his beard thou which i'm not right keen on funnily enough. anyhow went and shot some pool for a few hours, talking/messing about etc discussing music usual stuff. Sat on the hill eating a bag of chips n hot chocolate, then he came to mine, (got in about half 11, went to bed about 3am!) were talking about ex's n previous stuff etc a bit, i'm the first single mum he's ever dated so not sure if that's a good thing or not.

Mum seems to think he wants to be a 'slow burner' all I know is i'm quite taken with the young man & loved falling asleep in his arms the intention wasn't for him to crash at mine, but at that time we were both half asleep anyhow, and I had to get up at 7 so got him up as well.

So what do we think then? oh last night arranged for a date on fri as well b4 he goes home, said he'd text later, but I know he's got a big race on tonight and tbh i'm sooo sooo v tired!! lol.

i had a lovely time with lunchbox

i didnt enjoy getting up at 7am ready for the drive home tho