lets laugh, who gets maintenance and how much?

[onlywantsone]

I'm laughing, really I am - my XP doesnt see my DD due to various issues but givesme a voluntary contribution towards her upbringing out of the "kindness" of his heart of

drum roll please

£5 a week

TA DA!!!!!

anniemac - nope. My ex made it quite clear that he would do anything within his power to get out of paying ANYTHING towards his daughter.

I asked him once to pay half towards a pair of shoes for her and he laughed at me (yes, he actually laughed) He needed the money, you see - he had to buy his new girlfriend an engagement ring

Thats right - ex pays for nothing and doesn't share any of the care either.

Thing is, contact and maintainance are not linked for a reason.

Ex actually thinks that because he chooses not to see DD, he should not be exempted from maintainance. I must make very clear that it is his choice. I have tried and tried to get him to see her, as have his family/friends. He refuses to arrange contact, and refuses to commit to anything I suggest.

Its quite right IMO that he should still be expected to pay maintainance - it shouldn't be possible to just wash your hands of your kids and walk off.

I can see it makes things seem very unfair on some - Lostdad for example. But the reasons are sound.

Sorry, I mean ex thinks he SHOULD be exempted from maintainance.

Too tired to MN today

drum roll please £0

He buys them stuff etc but doesnt actually pay maintenance................. I have given up for now tbh

I didnt involve CSA till April last year. I hadn't wanted to but felt no option. He ignored all corespondance and eventually after a visit to his employers who also ignored all letters I was awarded £54/week. I know this is only based on his basic wage so assume his employer colluded in not giving correct figures. I was willing to let it pass as was ok with the amount awarded.

However it has taken a time tho quite quick by CSA standards to get actual money into my bank. CSA did threaten court action and £1400 was paid beginnig of January but none since. There are still quite a sum of arrears. I dont hold out any hope of anymore but CSA do seem to have hit him with a big stick going by accounts from others.

Funnily enough he contacted me last week for the first time in over 18 months

StewieGriffinsMom - have you joined NACSA?

I'd recommend them...they'll help you out.

Just to add in my situation - I've been out of work for 6 months because I moved too when my son was dragged halfway across the country.

I also turned down the best-paid job of my life a couple of months back, because it would have interfered with my son's time with me and my ex refuses to communicate with me, much less be flexible and it would have been used in court against me to `prove' I'm not interested in my son.

Result: Less maintenance for my son.

I am SOOOOOO shocked at this thread.

My Dh pays a fortune in child support and maintenence, but we pay for everything on top of that too - clothes, phones, pocket money, school trips, other holidays, parties... you name it!

Plus we have the kids LOADS - in February, for example, we have the kids every weekend plus one full week and that's not atypical.

I can't believe how many shoddy fathers there are out there!

realityis my valentine,y the hell should the csa be able to access the partners earnings?!
that is crazy!
my husbands ex cheated on him and ran off with the guy saying she wanted a new life with this mug,and wanted my husbands child to see the new guy as her dad.
this was 11 years ago,and my hubs hasnt been able to contact either of them,not having a clue where they were when all of a sudden when i am 6 months pregnant we gwt a letter from the csa demanding money.
i fought it tooth and nail,as i think this is totally unfair,and now we have a 2 and a half year old we have to find nearly 300 quid every soddin month or we have been told my thay would just go straight into my husbands earnings or he could end up in prison.
paying this has left us on the breadline every month and no1 seems to care.
the csa only seems to care about the parent with care,and he still cant see his daughter.
so valentine,maybe in your case you see going into the partners earnings is fair,but in most cases,the innocents(my son) are made to suffer as we are always broke.
what a fucking shitty totally unjust system.it should be abolished.
the ex by the way has now 4 kids by 4 different guys and is doing the same thing to each one with the csa.
that is the fucking joke.

No, I know how useless they are.

I'm expecting to hear from them when my ex hears that the maintenance I pay goes down as a result of my being out of work at the moment and contacts them to try to get out as much as possible out of me.

Seriously - join NACSA. You'll meet 101 people in the same situation as you and if they can't help, no one can.