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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Child Protection is a coming...

97 replies

PurpleOne · 12/08/2008 22:36

and I really don't know what to expect. My house is a total tip.

Does anyone know what an assesment entails?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

StarlightMcKenzie · 12/08/2008 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

objectivity · 12/08/2008 22:44

You mean Social Services?

My children have had an assessment (my request) under Child In Need rather than Child at Risk (whole different kettle of fish).

What's the background, maybe I can help?

Mamazon · 12/08/2008 22:45

they will want to see around the house, including teh children's rooms. it's nto your housework per se but they do want to ensure the children are living in a clean enviornment. they will look for safety issue's and thinsg like childrens toys...to make sure they are adequatly provided for.

they will ask you lots of questions about your daily routine's whatyou do with the kids that sort of thing.

it depends on what they are coming to see you for. if an allegation has been made then they will concentrate on that.

objectivity · 12/08/2008 22:47

They may also ask to speak to children in private, i.e. away from you.

by the way, it is seemingly ok to have a stinky puppy bounding about all over the place, too look like you are running a public laundry and to have not hoovered the stairs for weeks!

Original poster

PurpleOne · 12/08/2008 22:48

Cause I was a little too honest to the EWO and the school. A referral was made behind my back it seems, and I've only found out about it today.

It's either probably to do with my drink prob, or the court summons...one or the other. Maybe my neighbours reported me for yelling too much!

My kids are washed, fed and clean most of the time.. What the hell does 'child protection' actually mean anyway? I don't beat them with sharp sticks or anything. I don't even smack them.

OP posts:

objectivity · 12/08/2008 22:51

In that case, see it as an opportunity to get help. Are their basic needs met every single day, even if you have had a drink? If not, they will look at ways of supporting you and them to ensure they are.

They want to see evidence that they are fed and clothed and interacted with.

Original poster

PurpleOne · 12/08/2008 22:51

Will they be looking in my cupboards and my fridge too?? Cause there's bugger all in there.

OP posts:

objectivity · 12/08/2008 22:52

If the referral was made by people you spoke to and it was Child in Need and not At Risk then they should have advised you they were to take this action.

objectivity · 12/08/2008 22:53

Not unless they see other evidence that the children are not being cared for.

Do you ALWAYS get their meals without a problem, do you manage to dress them and play with them?

What support would you like?

StarlightMcKenzie · 12/08/2008 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

PurpleOne · 12/08/2008 22:55

They prob think they are at risk, that I'm some lush ol' drunk or something. I really don't know.
All I remember from the phone call, they def said it was 'child protection'.

Honestly, the past couple of hours, I've had really bad pains in my stomach..

OP posts:

objectivity · 12/08/2008 22:56

Ok, what would a 'worst day' be like for your dc?

Understand if you don't want to share that though

Mamazon · 12/08/2008 22:58

they will deffo want to talk to the childre if they are old enough.

yes they should look in your cupboards...we were told at uni that the best way of checking for cleanliness is to look in the microwave...people always tidy when they know were visiting but they forget the microwave. i went staright home an scrubbed mine!

basicly there is a difference between untidy and unlcean. untidy is fine unclean is something they will want to discuss.
If its your drink issue's then they will want to see that the children are not suffering because of it.
TBH don't panic and just tell them how it is. they will then be able to help you get back on your feet again. there are a number of resources out there and this is one way of accessing them.

look at it a a positive.

Original poster

PurpleOne · 12/08/2008 22:59

My dd's are 13 and 10 so their old enough to dress themselves. Evening meals, lunches are all sorted with what money/food I have, although we eat.
They are washed/bathed/clean depending on if the gas meter has run out or not If it has, a boiled kettle and a strip wash in the sink...but they always wash.

Just a tad embarassed really.

OP posts:

objectivity · 12/08/2008 23:03

Right,so you are doing Ok. But you DO need support. Tell them the complete truth.Tidy up but don't present an unrealistic picture.

Imo,it is better to show the side where you don't cope because A) Then they know what help you need and B) Recognition of the fact means you are aware of your family's need and that is a GOOD thing and shows comprehension of your children's needs.

Original poster

PurpleOne · 12/08/2008 23:04

OMG lol I forgot the microwave Hardly ever use the thing, so forgot about it!

The worst poss scenario is me being on a bender the night before and dragging my arse out of bed at midday.
It doesn't happen much now though as I'm on a reduction thingy and tend not to get 'out of it' unless things have been going really wrong.

I cleaned out my oven a week ago, will they look in there too?
My yard is disgusting though. Best do that tomorrow.

OP posts:

StarlightMcKenzie · 12/08/2008 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mamazon · 12/08/2008 23:06

agree totally with everything objectivity has said.

think now of the area's you could use help with. make a list if you like, of all the things that you find you struggle with. some they may not be able to offer anything but advice but im sure there are some where they can offer you real help.

the main thing to remember is that this is an initial vist to asses your situation. no one will be taking your children away. they are coming to see how they can HELP you.

good luck.

Mamazon · 12/08/2008 23:08

for the few days before they arrive do not have ANY alcohol in the house.

if its not there you can't get tempted if you get a little panicy the night before.

lisad123 · 12/08/2008 23:10

not sure if anyone answered but have only read OP threads.

Yes they will look in the cupboards and also the childrens bedrooms.
From what you have written my guess would be the drinking, but could be anything.
Wy are EWO involved, if you dont mind the question. It sounds like you could do with a little support, they are there to help too.

Original poster

PurpleOne · 12/08/2008 23:11

The only way we are disadvantaged is my pure lack of money. We get by on benefits.
And my total lack of support. Billy no mates, parents disowned me, no contact with any other family. So it's very lonely at times.
Every onus with those kids is on me. Apart from exh (kids father) but he's as much use as a chocolate firegrate.
He also doesn't know as he would use it as a stick to beat me with. Anything to criticise and 'put me down'. He has them every Friday eve, but the girls don't sleep over together, as he doesn't have the resources either, and dd1 doesn't get on with his wife...and his wife is like a total child to dd1 too.

OP posts:

Mamazon · 12/08/2008 23:14

sadly they may want to talk with your xh. they should tell you if this is the case though and you will be able to voice the reasons for any objection you have.

Tortington · 12/08/2008 23:15

if there is naff all in fridge and cupboard how are they fed - just an enquiry - not putting boot in or anything - just asking

Original poster

PurpleOne · 12/08/2008 23:15

Lisa - EWO involved for dd2's 90% school attendance and dd1's 92% attendance.
That's what the court summons is for.
Thanks for all your wisdom and advice, I feel a lot calmer now!

OP posts:

lisad123 · 12/08/2008 23:15

being a single mum wont be a reason for a visit. Does Ex have PR? Im not sure where you would stand with hiding it from him

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