Child Protection is a coming...

[PurpleOne]

and I really don't know what to expect. My house is a total tip.

Does anyone know what an assesment entails?

Custardo, I was reminded a lot of that thread too. And yes, that was the consensus.

Not sure there was one tbh.

However, whatever my view was on that at the time, right now, having found a job that I could ONLY have found on the internet and having also been unable to afford other basics from time to time; and as a result looking forward to having RESIDUAL income for the first time in years, I can't really argue that getting rid of the net is a good thing.There are other reasons too.

See your point but is possibly a little Black and White thinking?

was without computer, internet, phone, telly etc when first separated from ex. Have gradually built up to having them again and internet is great and I will need it for work.

However, I don't know that this discussion is very helpful to purpleone at the moment?

Custy, my internet is free with my landline. I don't have a mobile.

And if I never had my internet - I really don't know what I'd do. It's the only way I have of reaching out...

And when I left ex dv relationship bastard 6 years ago, we fled and had nothing but what was on our backs plus a couple of black bags thrown in a boot of a car. I left a whole houseload of stuff behind...so I don't feel this is relevant right now.

purpleone, my internet is also free wit phone line and is cheaper than just a normal phone line with BT, and i agree its a way for you to reach out.

I'm sorry I don't have any practical advice for you, but i hope all goes well and wish you all the strength and support while you combat your problem. keep strong and believe in yourself that one day you will beat the drink.

have you tried a for and against list? maybe list the pros of being drink free vs the cons of being drink free and keep it where you usually keep your drink. it may give you some positive focus to concentrate on.

good luck
x

I've been to AA but felt such a fraud as I was still drinking, but met some nice people there.
Thanks for the blessings RH81.

My oher thread lower down about suicide might open things up a little?
Am off to bed now, thanks for everything. It's much appreciated.

i apologise.

your not a fraud for still drinking.
Its the AA because it is for alcoholics...not former alcoholics who have got themselves sorted.

please give it another try.

As for not being able to meet with your support network due to it being the school holidays. why not see if you can get details of a holiday club that the children can go to whilst you are seeing someone. that way they get a bit of time away fro everything and you get the help you obviously want and need.

Just to add, i fully understand some of the more criticle questions on this thread, but i don't think they are really helping at this stage. everyone can do with a boot up the bum at times but i get the feeling that this just isn't the right time for PO.
Let's tackle one thing at a time. at the moment your priority is this Assesment. you need to make sure they see you are coping but finding it hard.

If the house is in a bit of a mess spend the next few day's tidying it up....get the girls to help you.
if your online see if you can research any local charities near you where you could pick up a few bits and pieces and get some food hampers. it will bump your cupboard stock and give you a bit of a headstart on this week's food bill. put what you save straight into the gas meter.

If you have a phone number for the SW that is going to be calling round you can phone them and clarify why she is coming and what she will want to discuss.
They wont be able to giev you exact details but it may help put your mind at ease.

You see, I got rudely awoken this morning by exh on the phone.

He's just found out about the final school uniform payment from the council - and has asked me for it. . Last week, he only asked me to pay for half the cost of one blazer.
That's the man who pays me just £17 in csa payments and has just got back from hols in the Maldives. Then moans at me cos I have no gas!!!

He bought all the uniform last year, and I used the spare cash on food and topping up both the meters.
Right now, I am just furious.

does he want the money from the uniform payments for himself? If he wants to put the money towards the children's uniforms then im afraid that is what they are there for.

I do see why you are angry at him but there are many women who are on benefits and recieve nothing from their children's fathers (me for one)

It's not an ideal situation but you need to adapt to not relying on him for anything.
Learn to manage alone, anything you get from him should be seen as an unexpected bonus.

Xh aside, how are you doing today?

u dont normaly get told their coming round, they just stop by, good luck i had deals 10yrs back and they were tw*ts

It does seem harsh of your ex, but with the greatest respect he probably thinks you may spend a lump sum like that on alcohol.

If he is not paying you enugh money via the csa can you ask them to reassess his earnings etc?

PurpleOne, sorry to 'intrude'

I'm new to this topic (recent, messy, getting messier split) and have been lurking for a while.

Some things I can suggest in terms of practical advice. The FWA runs centres in Leyton, I'm not sure how close you are but it's worth asking if you would qualify for support. My aunt works with them in Bradford and they do amazing work.

www.fwa.org.uk/section.aspx?id=11

I don't know if you work, or if it is impossible because of childcare etc but it's really worth doing. Even just the minimum hours to qualify for tax credits will help. There are also rules that banks cannot legally take means tested benefits to pay off debts (overdraft etc). Similarly, your energy company will be able to to reduce your repayments for the time being if you can prove you are in need.

Good luck with your assessment. I definitely agree that stocking the food cupboards is a priority. As you have been referred because of the alcohol problem it will probably be a priority for them to make sure your money is going on food and other essentials.

He's never asked me for that money in all the 6 years I've been getting it.
He doesn't know I drink that much either. I made it a priority to keep it from him.

Have cleaned most of the house but dd1's room is still awful. She has guinea pigs in there and her floor still looks like a butchers shop.
My stomach is in absolute knots, I've been sick. Don't know what to expect.

My hunch says their coming today, and it's usually right.

Your kids know that you love them. Every night you give them a hug, tuck them into bed and tell them that you love them.

They will see that you love them, so I'm sure you will be fine.

Good luck.

Sometimes love isn't enough though.

I do hope you get yourself sorted out PO - don't put on a front, lie about your situation or they cannot properly help your children - gracefully accept any support that is offered.

Are you sure that your girls attendance percentage is correct? I've never heard of a court summons for 90% attendance before. Would have expected it to be much lower for a long period of time for you to have gotten to the stage of a court summons?

Apologies if I have misunderstood

An old, crusty biddy, wearing blue suede Kickers boots and a clipboard is now on my doorstep.
Reckon that's them???

and

how did it go?

Any update PurpleOne?